1 00:00:02,209 --> 00:00:08,905 ♪♪ 2 00:00:08,939 --> 00:00:11,356 Delilah's not living in Ithaca, okay? 3 00:00:11,390 --> 00:00:13,082 Nobody moves to Ithaca on purpose. 4 00:00:13,116 --> 00:00:16,499 -Why not? -'Cause it sucks, okay? 5 00:00:16,533 --> 00:00:18,052 She's not here. I'm not buying it. 6 00:00:18,087 --> 00:00:19,433 -Oh, you're not buying it. -No. 7 00:00:19,467 --> 00:00:20,917 -But you bought Tibet. -I didn't. 8 00:00:20,951 --> 00:00:22,746 You bought Japan.I don't even know what that word is. 9 00:00:22,781 --> 00:00:25,335 I don't know, man. These guys I talked to seemed pretty certain it was her. 10 00:00:25,370 --> 00:00:27,441 [ Sighs ] 11 00:00:27,475 --> 00:00:29,098 Who, these guys here? Bo and Luke Duke? 12 00:00:29,132 --> 00:00:31,238 Oh, yeah. --All right, follow me. 13 00:00:33,240 --> 00:00:34,551 Hi. Hey. 14 00:00:34,586 --> 00:00:36,208 -Uh, you're -- Are you Donny? -Yeah, yeah. 15 00:00:36,243 --> 00:00:38,245 Uh, So you guys have seen our daughter, Delilah? 16 00:00:38,279 --> 00:00:40,109 Mm-hmm. Lookin' younger than the poster, 17 00:00:40,143 --> 00:00:41,593 but it's definitely her, all right. 18 00:00:41,627 --> 00:00:43,526 Yeah, she walks around here like she's better than all of us. 19 00:00:43,560 --> 00:00:44,803 Well, she is better than all of yous. 20 00:00:44,837 --> 00:00:46,218 Okay. Hold on. 21 00:00:46,253 --> 00:00:47,737 -Do you know her? -Nope. 22 00:00:47,771 --> 00:00:49,946 She keeps to herself mostly. Lives with that rock star. 23 00:00:49,980 --> 00:00:51,982 -He's disabled. -Yes -- Yes, he is. 24 00:00:52,017 --> 00:00:54,261 Okay, well, which one of these shit boxes is she living in? 25 00:00:54,295 --> 00:00:55,745 We would love to help you guys out 26 00:00:55,779 --> 00:00:57,126 out of the goodness of our hearts, 27 00:00:57,160 --> 00:00:58,541 but we got bills to pay. 28 00:00:58,575 --> 00:01:00,715 Ah, right, of course you do. The $500 reward. 29 00:01:00,750 --> 00:01:01,406 -Yeah. -Right. 30 00:01:01,440 --> 00:01:02,959 -Yeah. -Yeah. 31 00:01:02,993 --> 00:01:03,994 Okay. 32 00:01:04,029 --> 00:01:05,410 All right. Here you go. 33 00:01:05,444 --> 00:01:07,136 Hey, hold up. How'd you get that? 34 00:01:07,170 --> 00:01:08,551 Those were only up in Syracuse. 35 00:01:08,585 --> 00:01:10,104 [ Chuckles ] We're amateur detectives. 36 00:01:10,139 --> 00:01:11,657 -It's kind of our thing. -Yeah, I almost forgot. 37 00:01:11,692 --> 00:01:13,280 I found this phone bill in her garbage. 38 00:01:13,314 --> 00:01:15,799 A lot of calls or what you might call "collusion" 39 00:01:15,834 --> 00:01:17,974 to some weird number in Russia. 40 00:01:18,008 --> 00:01:20,459 Yeah. Yeah, that's my dad's number. 41 00:01:20,494 --> 00:01:21,598 Do you need more proof? 42 00:01:24,981 --> 00:01:26,638 -Okay. All right. Here you go. -Yeah. 43 00:01:26,672 --> 00:01:28,329 Now, where is she? 44 00:01:28,364 --> 00:01:30,055 Oh, shit, there she goes.[ Engine starts ] 45 00:01:32,161 --> 00:01:34,232 [ Engine revs ] 46 00:01:34,266 --> 00:01:39,961 ♪♪ 47 00:01:39,996 --> 00:01:45,657 ♪♪ 48 00:01:45,691 --> 00:01:48,142 Get some! 49 00:01:48,177 --> 00:01:49,488 Oh, shit. 50 00:01:53,043 --> 00:01:55,322 Whoa.[ Tires screech ] 51 00:01:55,356 --> 00:01:58,152 Oh. Oh. 52 00:01:58,187 --> 00:02:00,189 Oh, shit. 53 00:02:00,223 --> 00:02:02,294 Delilah! Delilah! 54 00:02:03,709 --> 00:02:09,025 ♪♪ 55 00:02:09,059 --> 00:02:14,341 ♪♪ 56 00:02:14,375 --> 00:02:16,343 [ Southern accent ] Are you okay? 57 00:02:16,377 --> 00:02:17,344 Babe? 58 00:02:17,378 --> 00:02:19,139 Babe, are you okay? 59 00:02:21,244 --> 00:02:22,694 -Babe? -Yeah. 60 00:02:22,728 --> 00:02:32,704 ♪♪ 61 00:02:32,738 --> 00:02:34,326 Blue Jay. 62 00:02:34,361 --> 00:02:35,638 Robin. 63 00:02:35,672 --> 00:02:37,087 What? 64 00:02:37,122 --> 00:02:38,054 Um... 65 00:02:38,088 --> 00:02:39,849 My twin sister. 66 00:02:39,883 --> 00:02:40,712 Yeah. 67 00:02:43,680 --> 00:02:45,372 -What? -Yeah. 68 00:02:48,064 --> 00:02:50,239 Twin sister. 69 00:02:50,273 --> 00:02:51,723 I jumped a shark. 70 00:02:51,757 --> 00:02:53,380 -Oh. -[ Grunts ] 71 00:02:53,414 --> 00:02:54,898 Aah! 72 00:02:54,933 --> 00:02:57,418 ♪ Somewhere behind the mountains ♪ 73 00:02:57,453 --> 00:02:59,696 ♪ There is a place I'm thinkin' ♪ 74 00:02:59,731 --> 00:03:02,596 [ Distorted music plays ] 75 00:03:06,427 --> 00:03:09,361 So what brings you by after all these years? 76 00:03:09,396 --> 00:03:11,052 Oh, we were led to believe by a couple of morons 77 00:03:11,087 --> 00:03:12,226 that our daughter was staying here. 78 00:03:12,261 --> 00:03:13,676 You have a little girl? 79 00:03:13,710 --> 00:03:15,229 That's so incredible. 80 00:03:15,264 --> 00:03:16,851 Yeah, two kids, actually. Twins. 81 00:03:16,886 --> 00:03:18,405 Wow, just like us. 82 00:03:18,439 --> 00:03:19,923 Well, I would love to meet them. 83 00:03:19,958 --> 00:03:21,442 Are they here? Where are they? 84 00:03:21,477 --> 00:03:26,102 Well, uh, one of them ran away, and the other one is -- 85 00:03:26,136 --> 00:03:27,966 -Oh, my God, where is he? -He's at my mom's. 86 00:03:28,000 --> 00:03:29,519 Can we just back it up for a second? 87 00:03:29,554 --> 00:03:30,796 Maybe it's the concussion talking, 88 00:03:30,831 --> 00:03:32,591 but remember the other day when I said, 89 00:03:32,626 --> 00:03:34,248 "Is there anything I don't know about you?" 90 00:03:34,283 --> 00:03:36,526 And you said, "Well, I don't like squash." 91 00:03:36,561 --> 00:03:38,287 And I said, "The vegetable or the game?" 92 00:03:38,321 --> 00:03:40,634 -And you said, "Both." -Both. [ Laughs ] 93 00:03:40,668 --> 00:03:42,291 Well, maybe you could have [bleep] told me 94 00:03:42,325 --> 00:03:45,155 you had a twin sister. 95 00:03:45,190 --> 00:03:46,778 Well, if it makes you feel any better, 96 00:03:46,812 --> 00:03:48,228 she's never mentioned you, either. 97 00:03:48,262 --> 00:03:49,401 No, I did. 98 00:03:49,436 --> 00:03:50,782 It was the last time I talked to you, 99 00:03:50,816 --> 00:03:54,268 as a matter of fact, at the funeral of, um, uh, Beth -- 100 00:03:54,303 --> 00:03:55,994 uh, Becky? 101 00:03:56,028 --> 00:03:58,272 It's Beckany. I never forget a name. 102 00:03:58,307 --> 00:03:59,825 And all you said was, "Oh, hey, B.J. 103 00:03:59,860 --> 00:04:01,448 I met this boring meathead hockey player, 104 00:04:01,482 --> 00:04:03,277 and I'm gonna use him to clean up my selfish 105 00:04:03,312 --> 00:04:05,141 destructive lifestyle," or something like that. 106 00:04:05,175 --> 00:04:06,487 I don't really -- I'm paraphrasing. 107 00:04:06,522 --> 00:04:08,834 -That's -- -A spot-on impression. 108 00:04:08,869 --> 00:04:10,319 Well, now that I've met you, 109 00:04:10,353 --> 00:04:12,838 I can see why she's been hiding you. 110 00:04:12,873 --> 00:04:14,978 Nate the Great, look at you. 111 00:04:15,013 --> 00:04:17,291 You are such a peach. 112 00:04:17,326 --> 00:04:19,500 And you got such strong bones. 113 00:04:19,535 --> 00:04:21,640 Makes me feel awful I almost broke 'em all. 114 00:04:21,675 --> 00:04:22,986 -Feel that one. -Ooh. 115 00:04:23,021 --> 00:04:23,953 -Huh. -Mm. 116 00:04:23,987 --> 00:04:26,645 Stop it.[ Both chuckle ] 117 00:04:26,680 --> 00:04:28,164 By the way, I don't tell you about my past 118 00:04:28,198 --> 00:04:29,752 because my past sucks. 119 00:04:29,786 --> 00:04:31,754 She doesn't suck. She's awesome. 120 00:04:31,788 --> 00:04:33,652 She doesn't seem to have any of the shit-show genes 121 00:04:33,687 --> 00:04:34,929 your sisters have. 122 00:04:34,964 --> 00:04:37,277 Trust me, she is the shit-showiest of them all. 123 00:04:37,311 --> 00:04:39,175 For instance, we were both born in New York, 124 00:04:39,209 --> 00:04:43,006 but she was "raised" in Alabama, so somehow she has an accent. 125 00:04:43,041 --> 00:04:44,180 That's not how accents work. 126 00:04:44,214 --> 00:04:45,492 That's exactly how accents work. 127 00:04:45,526 --> 00:04:47,977 No. 128 00:04:48,011 --> 00:04:49,703 Mm. 129 00:04:49,737 --> 00:04:51,808 Mmm, that's good. 130 00:04:51,843 --> 00:04:53,189 It's a frozen dinner, Nate. 131 00:04:53,223 --> 00:04:56,054 Well, she heated it up perfectly. 132 00:04:56,088 --> 00:04:57,331 Blue Jay, these are amazing. 133 00:04:57,366 --> 00:04:59,816 Oh, please, call me B.J. I prefer it. 134 00:04:59,851 --> 00:05:01,542 And I'm sure you do, too. 135 00:05:01,577 --> 00:05:04,338 [ Laughs ] I do. 136 00:05:04,373 --> 00:05:06,029 She can pull off an innuendo. 137 00:05:06,064 --> 00:05:08,722 None of that "spit on it and stick it in" shit. 138 00:05:08,756 --> 00:05:11,449 Can you believe how two identical-looking people 139 00:05:11,483 --> 00:05:12,519 could be so different? 140 00:05:12,553 --> 00:05:14,486 Oh, no, we're very much alike. 141 00:05:14,521 --> 00:05:16,074 In fact, when we were kids, 142 00:05:16,108 --> 00:05:18,870 we used to dress the same and fool our parents. 143 00:05:18,904 --> 00:05:21,907 Too bad they were too busy being criminals to notice. 144 00:05:21,942 --> 00:05:23,357 Oh, what do you say, Robin? 145 00:05:23,392 --> 00:05:25,911 Let's pull a "Parent Trap" for old time's sake, huh? 146 00:05:25,946 --> 00:05:27,223 -Huh. -No. 147 00:05:27,257 --> 00:05:28,466 -Come on, please. -Yes. 148 00:05:28,500 --> 00:05:29,639 -Yes. -No. 149 00:05:29,674 --> 00:05:31,779 Just do it. What's the worst that's gonna happen? 150 00:05:35,611 --> 00:05:36,888 This is not the same dress. 151 00:05:36,922 --> 00:05:38,683 Oh, yes, it is. I make them myself. 152 00:05:38,717 --> 00:05:40,754 Okay, Nate, which one's which? 153 00:05:40,788 --> 00:05:41,858 It's so hard to tell. 154 00:05:41,893 --> 00:05:43,826 I mean, one is a beautiful oil painting, 155 00:05:43,860 --> 00:05:47,243 and the other one is, uh...my wife. 156 00:05:47,277 --> 00:05:49,763 Listen, I would fill this out, too, if I hadn't had kids, so... 157 00:05:49,797 --> 00:05:51,868 Oh, I've missed you so much, 158 00:05:51,903 --> 00:05:53,870 but I don't blame you for shutting out your past. 159 00:05:53,905 --> 00:05:55,941 -It sucked. -Yeah, see? 160 00:05:55,976 --> 00:05:57,840 Do you ever wish when our mother left J.R., 161 00:05:57,874 --> 00:05:59,220 she took both of us with her? 162 00:05:59,255 --> 00:06:01,706 Yeah. Yeah, but there was only one seat on the plane. 163 00:06:01,740 --> 00:06:03,915 Is that what she told you? Hm. 164 00:06:03,949 --> 00:06:06,952 She told me it was 'cause you were fussy. 165 00:06:06,987 --> 00:06:08,195 I was a child. 166 00:06:08,229 --> 00:06:10,024 Well, you two never really clicked. 167 00:06:10,059 --> 00:06:11,025 Oh, what a bitch. 168 00:06:11,060 --> 00:06:12,130 [ Gasps ] Stop it. 169 00:06:12,164 --> 00:06:15,098 You hush, Robin. She did the best she could. 170 00:06:15,133 --> 00:06:17,687 Hey, did you know she was living in Italy of all places now? 171 00:06:17,722 --> 00:06:19,448 -Okay. -What? 172 00:06:19,482 --> 00:06:20,932 You told me she was dead. 173 00:06:20,966 --> 00:06:23,106 She is. She's dead to me. 174 00:06:23,141 --> 00:06:25,419 That's not the same thing. 175 00:06:25,454 --> 00:06:29,112 She lives in Italy, the one place I've always wanted to go. 176 00:06:29,147 --> 00:06:30,251 Time to make amends. 177 00:06:30,286 --> 00:06:31,391 Ain't that right, Nate. 178 00:06:31,425 --> 00:06:33,427 I used to blame J.R. for splitting up our family. 179 00:06:33,462 --> 00:06:34,946 I was only allowed to see my sister 180 00:06:34,980 --> 00:06:36,603 during nondenominational holidays 181 00:06:36,637 --> 00:06:38,328 and the occasional diamond smuggle, 182 00:06:38,363 --> 00:06:41,262 but I said, "No, that is no way to live!" 183 00:06:41,297 --> 00:06:44,473 So now I talk to J.R. like almost every other day. 184 00:06:44,507 --> 00:06:46,095 He calls me his gummy bear. 185 00:06:46,129 --> 00:06:48,304 Now I get the nickname. I mean, it suits you. 186 00:06:48,338 --> 00:06:49,443 So sweet, you know. 187 00:06:49,478 --> 00:06:51,928 You'd be like a Sour Patch. 188 00:06:51,963 --> 00:06:54,828 Claude: B.J., who's talking? 189 00:06:54,862 --> 00:06:57,175 Nate, Robin, meet my boyfriend. 190 00:06:59,211 --> 00:07:01,351 -Shut up. -[ Grunts ] 191 00:07:01,386 --> 00:07:03,284 -That's not your boyfriend. -It's Claude. 192 00:07:03,319 --> 00:07:06,495 It's like Claude Gable. [ Grunts ] 193 00:07:06,529 --> 00:07:07,772 You know what they say. 194 00:07:07,806 --> 00:07:10,637 Two identical sisters end up with two identical men. 195 00:07:10,671 --> 00:07:13,018 Oh, shit. Jesus. 196 00:07:13,053 --> 00:07:15,296 You're both so clumsy and accident prone. 197 00:07:15,331 --> 00:07:16,746 You hit me with a car. 198 00:07:16,781 --> 00:07:19,300 -[ Grunts ] -Oh! Oh, shit! 199 00:07:19,335 --> 00:07:22,442 Oh, God, I got glass in my shins. 200 00:07:22,476 --> 00:07:24,582 Oh, I got glass in my penis. 201 00:07:24,616 --> 00:07:27,170 See? Two peas in a pod. 202 00:07:27,205 --> 00:07:29,449 [ Laughing ] 203 00:07:29,483 --> 00:07:32,831 Oh, man. [ Groaning ] 204 00:07:35,869 --> 00:07:39,320 Here comes the sghetti train. 205 00:07:39,355 --> 00:07:42,047 Chugga, chugga, chugga, chugga, chugga, chugga. 206 00:07:42,082 --> 00:07:43,601 -Eat some good sghetti. -What is happening? 207 00:07:43,635 --> 00:07:45,050 It's your favorite kind of sghetti, 208 00:07:45,085 --> 00:07:47,708 the sghetti with the meatballs. 209 00:07:47,743 --> 00:07:49,848 Here comes the airplane. 210 00:07:49,883 --> 00:07:50,849 [ Imitating airplane ] 211 00:07:50,884 --> 00:07:53,127 Wasn't she just a train? 212 00:07:53,162 --> 00:07:54,819 That's your takeaway from all this? 213 00:07:54,853 --> 00:07:56,545 -Ow, sghetti's hot. -I'm sorry. 214 00:07:56,579 --> 00:07:58,995 [ Blows ] 215 00:07:59,030 --> 00:08:00,790 Okay, how about now? Just right? 216 00:08:00,825 --> 00:08:02,171 No, it's too cold. 217 00:08:02,205 --> 00:08:04,000 Oh, hush now. You just eat it. 218 00:08:04,035 --> 00:08:06,347 [ Snoring ] 219 00:08:08,522 --> 00:08:10,524 Did he just fall asleep with his eyes open? 220 00:08:10,559 --> 00:08:12,906 -No, he's awake. -He's snoring. 221 00:08:12,940 --> 00:08:14,563 He's got wake-apnea. 222 00:08:14,597 --> 00:08:16,012 You know what? I think B.J. and I 223 00:08:16,047 --> 00:08:18,049 are gonna go for a little walk, catch up, yeah? 224 00:08:18,083 --> 00:08:19,360 Oh, that sounds great. 225 00:08:19,395 --> 00:08:21,501 Honey, do you mind if I go on a walk with Robin? 226 00:08:21,535 --> 00:08:22,916 [ Snoring continues ] 227 00:08:22,950 --> 00:08:24,573 Okay, good. I'm just gonna go tinkle real quick. 228 00:08:24,607 --> 00:08:25,574 I'll be right back. 229 00:08:25,608 --> 00:08:27,161 -You're fine, right? -What? No. 230 00:08:27,196 --> 00:08:28,542 No, don't leave me here with him. 231 00:08:28,577 --> 00:08:30,026 -She needs help. -What do you care? 232 00:08:30,061 --> 00:08:31,407 You haven't seen her in 16 years. 233 00:08:31,441 --> 00:08:32,442 She's family. 234 00:08:32,477 --> 00:08:33,858 We don't give up on family we like. 235 00:08:33,892 --> 00:08:36,067 -You said that. -Yeah, about our daughter. 236 00:08:36,101 --> 00:08:38,690 And we need to get back to Syracuse and not give up on her. 237 00:08:38,725 --> 00:08:41,451 I can't let her stay in this relationship. 238 00:08:41,486 --> 00:08:42,832 It's none of your business. 239 00:08:42,867 --> 00:08:44,593 What if someone had told you to give up on me? 240 00:08:44,627 --> 00:08:46,767 They did. 241 00:08:46,802 --> 00:08:47,768 Who? 242 00:08:47,803 --> 00:08:49,701 Everybody. 243 00:08:49,736 --> 00:08:51,116 -You ready to go? -Yeah. 244 00:08:51,151 --> 00:08:52,566 -You'll be fine, right? -No, I'm not fine. 245 00:08:52,601 --> 00:08:53,774 Just do it. 246 00:08:53,809 --> 00:08:56,328 [ Snoring continues ] 247 00:08:57,882 --> 00:08:59,780 [ Door closes ] 248 00:08:59,815 --> 00:09:01,886 So can you hear me? 249 00:09:01,920 --> 00:09:04,095 [ Coughs ] 250 00:09:04,129 --> 00:09:05,959 Oh. 251 00:09:05,993 --> 00:09:07,236 [ Gasps ] 252 00:09:07,270 --> 00:09:10,688 Oh, you weren't snoring. You were choking on a meatball. 253 00:09:10,722 --> 00:09:12,103 Can you put that back in? 254 00:09:12,137 --> 00:09:13,138 No. 255 00:09:13,173 --> 00:09:15,900 I'm hungry. 256 00:09:15,934 --> 00:09:18,212 Pick up a fork like a big boy. 257 00:09:18,247 --> 00:09:19,489 Oh. 258 00:09:19,524 --> 00:09:20,974 Robin: What the hell are you doing with Claude? 259 00:09:21,008 --> 00:09:22,423 We've been through so much together. 260 00:09:22,458 --> 00:09:23,942 What would he do without me? 261 00:09:23,977 --> 00:09:25,461 I'm still nursing him back to health. 262 00:09:25,495 --> 00:09:27,636 I know, but you -- you can't just live for him. 263 00:09:27,670 --> 00:09:29,154 You have to have a life of your own. 264 00:09:29,189 --> 00:09:30,466 Take Nate for instance. 265 00:09:30,500 --> 00:09:33,124 He's gone above and beyond for his family. 266 00:09:33,158 --> 00:09:35,057 He's traveled the world to find our daughter, 267 00:09:35,091 --> 00:09:36,265 and what's he done for himself? 268 00:09:36,299 --> 00:09:37,300 He's done nothing. 269 00:09:37,335 --> 00:09:39,061 -That's incredible. -No, it's stupid. 270 00:09:39,095 --> 00:09:41,650 The guy is so selfless, it's eating him up inside. 271 00:09:41,684 --> 00:09:44,031 He really needs to blow off steam big-time. 272 00:09:47,621 --> 00:09:49,727 -Yeah. -Ooh. [ Laughs ] 273 00:09:49,761 --> 00:09:51,176 Like that. Yes. 274 00:09:51,211 --> 00:09:52,419 Nate used to drink like that. 275 00:09:52,453 --> 00:09:54,007 He did. It made him feel great. 276 00:09:54,041 --> 00:09:55,905 He used to call it his "wha'sup, wha'sup juice." 277 00:09:55,940 --> 00:09:56,837 [ Both laugh ] 278 00:09:56,872 --> 00:09:58,114 Yeah, he'd get all liquored up, 279 00:09:58,149 --> 00:09:59,357 and we would have the best sex, 280 00:09:59,391 --> 00:10:01,980 and now he doesn't touch it. 281 00:10:02,015 --> 00:10:03,016 The booze or you? 282 00:10:03,050 --> 00:10:04,776 Ha ha! Both. 283 00:10:04,811 --> 00:10:05,915 I love Nate. 284 00:10:05,950 --> 00:10:07,917 I know. I'm pretty lucky to have him. 285 00:10:07,952 --> 00:10:09,643 I wouldn't tell him that to his face 286 00:10:09,678 --> 00:10:11,369 'cause he'd get a big head, but yeah. 287 00:10:11,403 --> 00:10:14,648 I hate Claude, like, so much. 288 00:10:14,683 --> 00:10:16,995 Like a burning, seething hatred. 289 00:10:17,030 --> 00:10:18,687 [ Groans ][ Seat belt clicks ] 290 00:10:21,724 --> 00:10:23,174 It's gonna be a hell of a ride, huh? 291 00:10:23,208 --> 00:10:25,866 Yeah, safety first, man. 292 00:10:25,901 --> 00:10:28,179 Hang on. 293 00:10:28,213 --> 00:10:30,560 [ Groaning ] 294 00:10:30,595 --> 00:10:32,528 You need to put a helmet on? 295 00:10:32,562 --> 00:10:35,186 Just psych a brother up. 296 00:10:35,220 --> 00:10:36,912 Thanks, man. 297 00:10:39,086 --> 00:10:40,881 Probably faster if I just carried you down. 298 00:10:40,916 --> 00:10:42,400 Yeah. 299 00:10:42,434 --> 00:10:43,573 [ Strap clicks ] 300 00:10:45,748 --> 00:10:47,854 Dude, you really can't walk down three stairs. 301 00:10:47,888 --> 00:10:49,165 Soft bones. 302 00:10:49,200 --> 00:10:50,580 What's that mean? Like rickets? 303 00:10:50,615 --> 00:10:51,685 Soft bones. 304 00:10:51,720 --> 00:10:54,515 Doc says I'm like a bag of wet sticks. 305 00:10:54,550 --> 00:10:55,689 [ Beep ] 306 00:10:55,724 --> 00:10:58,071 That means it's safe to unbuckle my seat belt. 307 00:10:58,105 --> 00:11:01,695 Oh, man, I forgot my cheese. 308 00:11:01,730 --> 00:11:03,766 [ Chair whirring ] 309 00:11:17,228 --> 00:11:18,436 [ Beep ] 310 00:11:18,470 --> 00:11:22,095 [ Sighs ] You're not gonna believe this. 311 00:11:22,129 --> 00:11:23,993 It's down there. 312 00:11:24,028 --> 00:11:26,686 I can smell it. 313 00:11:26,720 --> 00:11:28,584 We just got to find it. 314 00:11:28,618 --> 00:11:30,655 [ Chair whirring ] 315 00:11:38,663 --> 00:11:39,388 [ Beep ] 316 00:11:39,422 --> 00:11:40,700 Means it's done. 317 00:11:40,734 --> 00:11:41,770 You said that. 318 00:11:41,804 --> 00:11:44,669 You can't say important things too much. 319 00:11:46,775 --> 00:11:48,742 Gonna put it back. 320 00:11:48,777 --> 00:11:51,124 Oh, my God. Jesus Christ. 321 00:11:51,158 --> 00:11:53,643 Ooh. [ Chuckles ] My goodness. 322 00:11:53,678 --> 00:11:55,059 -Yes. -You're right. 323 00:11:55,093 --> 00:11:56,888 I need to start doing some stuff for myself. 324 00:11:56,923 --> 00:11:58,545 That was a quick turnaround, but great. 325 00:11:58,579 --> 00:12:00,271 Yes. Then leave him. 326 00:12:01,686 --> 00:12:03,653 Hey, boys, wha'sup, wha'sup? 327 00:12:03,688 --> 00:12:04,931 Oh, no, no, no. 328 00:12:04,965 --> 00:12:06,449 Looks like someone founds her daughter. 329 00:12:06,484 --> 00:12:09,211 -Uh, no, my daughter's 16. -Well, no refunds. 330 00:12:09,245 --> 00:12:11,731 Yeah, but we'd like to buy you fine ladies 331 00:12:11,765 --> 00:12:12,939 a well drink of your choice. 332 00:12:12,973 --> 00:12:14,906 And by "fine ladies," I mean you. 333 00:12:14,941 --> 00:12:16,908 [ Laughs ] 334 00:12:21,154 --> 00:12:22,569 You want some coffee? 335 00:12:22,603 --> 00:12:24,674 -That's coffee? -No. 336 00:12:24,709 --> 00:12:26,400 Jesus, what do you do down here? 337 00:12:26,435 --> 00:12:27,885 Oh. 338 00:12:27,919 --> 00:12:29,403 Here you go. 339 00:12:29,438 --> 00:12:31,405 Sure, all right. I've never tried this before. 340 00:12:31,440 --> 00:12:33,649 -Yeah. -Kill some time. 341 00:12:33,683 --> 00:12:35,168 Oh, my God. 342 00:12:35,202 --> 00:12:37,411 Oh, my God, what do you do in this thing? 343 00:12:37,446 --> 00:12:39,172 It's a workout. 344 00:12:39,206 --> 00:12:40,518 -Buckle up. -Yeah. 345 00:12:40,552 --> 00:12:42,313 You're going for a helluva ride. 346 00:12:42,347 --> 00:12:44,177 -Hold my breath. -Yeah. 347 00:12:44,211 --> 00:12:45,385 [ Grunts ] 348 00:12:47,352 --> 00:12:49,251 What am I watching? Is this a train set? 349 00:12:49,285 --> 00:12:50,942 Yeah. 350 00:12:52,841 --> 00:12:54,463 It's a little boring, isn't it? 351 00:12:54,497 --> 00:12:56,706 Ah. Yeah. 352 00:12:56,741 --> 00:12:59,123 -What are you supposed to do? -You're doing it. 353 00:12:59,157 --> 00:13:01,539 That's it? You just watch it go around the track? 354 00:13:01,573 --> 00:13:02,540 That's right. 355 00:13:02,574 --> 00:13:04,093 If you like model trains so much, 356 00:13:04,128 --> 00:13:05,267 why don't you build a real one? 357 00:13:05,301 --> 00:13:08,201 Fat fingers and little, teeny, tiny parts 358 00:13:08,235 --> 00:13:09,858 just don't mix. 359 00:13:09,892 --> 00:13:11,204 All right. That was fun. 360 00:13:11,238 --> 00:13:13,965 No, whoa, don't take it off mid-game. 361 00:13:14,000 --> 00:13:15,001 You'll lose. 362 00:13:15,035 --> 00:13:17,382 How do you lose watching a train set? 363 00:13:17,417 --> 00:13:20,523 Oh, lost. 364 00:13:20,558 --> 00:13:21,835 It's all your fault. 365 00:13:21,870 --> 00:13:24,527 I need B.J. to make me feel better. 366 00:13:25,563 --> 00:13:26,736 [ Clatters ] 367 00:13:26,771 --> 00:13:28,186 Oh. 368 00:13:28,221 --> 00:13:30,499 I'm B.J. I bet you boys like that, huh? 369 00:13:30,533 --> 00:13:31,845 -Don't say that. -Uh, yeah. 370 00:13:31,880 --> 00:13:34,054 You think I have a pretty mouth for a B.J.? 371 00:13:34,089 --> 00:13:35,849 -Yeah. -You want to kiss it? 372 00:13:35,884 --> 00:13:37,575 Uh, yeah. 373 00:13:37,609 --> 00:13:39,059 -Okay. -Oh. 374 00:13:41,613 --> 00:13:44,064 I also think you have a really pretty mouth. 375 00:13:44,099 --> 00:13:46,342 -Okay. -Hey, okay. 376 00:13:46,377 --> 00:13:47,861 No, there's too many teeth in that mouth. 377 00:13:47,896 --> 00:13:49,759 Get back on my lips, other one. 378 00:13:49,794 --> 00:13:53,729 ♪♪ 379 00:13:56,042 --> 00:13:57,388 If the earth is round, 380 00:13:57,422 --> 00:13:59,424 then how come this bottle ain't sliding off the table? 381 00:13:59,459 --> 00:14:00,701 Gravity. 382 00:14:00,736 --> 00:14:02,738 You should come to one of our meetings. 383 00:14:02,772 --> 00:14:04,084 There's a lot more of us flat-earthers 384 00:14:04,119 --> 00:14:05,361 on this globe than you think. 385 00:14:05,396 --> 00:14:06,569 All right, I can't do this anymore. 386 00:14:06,604 --> 00:14:07,916 I can't listen to any more conspiracy theories. 387 00:14:07,950 --> 00:14:09,262 Hey, these are just my opinions. 388 00:14:09,296 --> 00:14:10,435 -Which are wrong. -According to who? 389 00:14:10,470 --> 00:14:11,574 The laws of science. 390 00:14:11,609 --> 00:14:13,059 -And who wrote those? -Scientists. 391 00:14:13,093 --> 00:14:15,855 And those are their opinions, which just so happen to be fake. 392 00:14:15,889 --> 00:14:17,097 What's so hard to understand about that? 393 00:14:17,132 --> 00:14:18,719 Where the hell is my sister, anyway? 394 00:14:18,754 --> 00:14:19,893 You want to hear another opinion 395 00:14:19,928 --> 00:14:21,446 that people think is just a "theory"? 396 00:14:21,481 --> 00:14:22,585 Not really. 397 00:14:22,620 --> 00:14:23,897 Your sister runs an underground syndicate 398 00:14:23,932 --> 00:14:25,726 that traps men, extracts testosterone, 399 00:14:25,761 --> 00:14:27,176 and relieves them of their manhood. 400 00:14:27,211 --> 00:14:29,247 Yeah, who's got a basement in a trailer? 401 00:14:29,282 --> 00:14:31,042 -Oh, that's a man cave. -Mnh-mnh. 402 00:14:31,077 --> 00:14:32,423 It's a man grave. 403 00:14:32,457 --> 00:14:34,804 These are all a year after living with your sister. 404 00:14:34,839 --> 00:14:35,944 -Before. -After. 405 00:14:35,978 --> 00:14:37,083 -Before. -After. 406 00:14:37,117 --> 00:14:38,947 -Before. -After. 407 00:14:38,981 --> 00:14:40,086 Before. 408 00:14:40,120 --> 00:14:42,571 And you know what that after looks like. 409 00:14:45,401 --> 00:14:46,955 That's not really you, is it? 410 00:14:46,989 --> 00:14:48,128 Yeah. 411 00:14:48,163 --> 00:14:50,027 I can see how B.J. fell in love with that, 412 00:14:50,061 --> 00:14:52,892 but what happened? 413 00:14:52,926 --> 00:14:55,239 I was onstage. 414 00:14:55,273 --> 00:14:57,379 The bass player, man. 415 00:14:57,413 --> 00:15:00,278 It was an accident. I fell and broke my leg. 416 00:15:00,313 --> 00:15:05,801 And then B.J. has been by my side ever since. 417 00:15:06,767 --> 00:15:08,459 It was B.J. 418 00:15:08,493 --> 00:15:09,667 That's a beautiful story. 419 00:15:09,701 --> 00:15:12,566 So you never went back to the band or a gym? 420 00:15:12,601 --> 00:15:13,602 No, man. 421 00:15:13,636 --> 00:15:16,812 Gym closed, band kicked me out. 422 00:15:16,846 --> 00:15:19,090 Yeah, you'd be surprised how quickly 423 00:15:19,125 --> 00:15:20,643 they can replace a bassist. 424 00:15:20,678 --> 00:15:21,955 Not really. It's not that hard. 425 00:15:21,990 --> 00:15:25,614 Anyway, I was about to start my solo career 426 00:15:25,648 --> 00:15:29,307 until B.J. accidentally broke my pelvis. 427 00:15:29,342 --> 00:15:30,860 Whoa. How'd she do that? 428 00:15:30,895 --> 00:15:32,828 She ran over me with her car. 429 00:15:32,862 --> 00:15:34,864 [ Chuckles lightly ] I'm sensing a trend here. 430 00:15:34,899 --> 00:15:36,349 Are you sure it was an accident? 431 00:15:36,383 --> 00:15:38,316 The first time, for sure. 432 00:15:38,351 --> 00:15:41,354 First -- How many times has she hit you with a car? 433 00:15:41,388 --> 00:15:44,633 Three times with a car. 434 00:15:44,667 --> 00:15:46,807 One of those was definitely my fault. 435 00:15:46,842 --> 00:15:48,948 I should have known to roll out of the way 436 00:15:48,982 --> 00:15:50,880 before she backed up in reverse. 437 00:15:50,915 --> 00:15:52,296 Dude, this sounds like "Misery." 438 00:15:52,330 --> 00:15:54,954 Oh, no, it's not that bad. 439 00:15:54,988 --> 00:15:58,543 You know, I'm hard on her, but she is an average cook. 440 00:15:58,578 --> 00:16:01,305 "Misery" like the mov-- Forget it. 441 00:16:01,339 --> 00:16:03,307 Listen, I'm not into conspiracy theories at all, 442 00:16:03,341 --> 00:16:07,173 but she sounds like she's an insane woman. 443 00:16:07,207 --> 00:16:10,866 Oh, no, no, she's bipolar and schizophrenic, 444 00:16:10,900 --> 00:16:13,696 but other than that, man, she's a picture of mental health. 445 00:16:13,731 --> 00:16:15,698 Okay. 446 00:16:15,733 --> 00:16:17,493 Um, you know what? 447 00:16:17,528 --> 00:16:18,908 It was great to meet you, 448 00:16:18,943 --> 00:16:21,359 but before any of this happens to me, I'm gonna -- 449 00:16:21,394 --> 00:16:23,016 I'm gonna get the hell out of here. 450 00:16:23,051 --> 00:16:24,224 Good luck. 451 00:16:24,259 --> 00:16:26,123 Yeah, well, I tried to do that once. 452 00:16:26,157 --> 00:16:28,849 When I asked to leave, the voices in her head 453 00:16:28,884 --> 00:16:31,852 accidentally smashed my jaw with a brick.[ Door rattling ] 454 00:16:31,887 --> 00:16:33,647 Dude, this door is locked from the outside. 455 00:16:33,682 --> 00:16:38,169 Yeah, she locks the doors for my safety. 456 00:16:38,204 --> 00:16:41,828 She makes me wear this ankle monitor. 457 00:16:41,862 --> 00:16:44,831 She likes to know where I am all the time. 458 00:16:44,865 --> 00:16:51,079 I can get all the way out to the mailbox before I get shocked. 459 00:16:51,113 --> 00:16:53,046 And it only hurts a lot. 460 00:16:53,081 --> 00:16:54,944 Dude, these are all nailed shut! 461 00:16:54,979 --> 00:16:57,326 Yeah, you got to keep the windows shut. 462 00:16:57,361 --> 00:16:59,949 If you're gonna lock the doors, no point. 463 00:16:59,984 --> 00:17:02,573 [ Suspenseful music plays ] 464 00:17:02,607 --> 00:17:04,782 [ Thudding ] 465 00:17:04,816 --> 00:17:06,922 Yeah, that's a steel door. 466 00:17:06,956 --> 00:17:10,374 Figured that out on my third time I broke my shoulder. 467 00:17:10,408 --> 00:17:13,273 Oh. Ah! 468 00:17:13,308 --> 00:17:14,481 Shit. 469 00:17:15,793 --> 00:17:16,966 So what are you saying? Are we -- 470 00:17:17,001 --> 00:17:18,244 Are we trapped in here? 471 00:17:18,278 --> 00:17:19,797 Yeah. 472 00:17:19,831 --> 00:17:20,798 What do we do? 473 00:17:20,832 --> 00:17:23,007 [ Snoring ] 474 00:17:26,114 --> 00:17:27,563 That is so unnerving. 475 00:17:27,598 --> 00:17:29,082 This is insane. You're both insane. 476 00:17:29,117 --> 00:17:31,429 What kind of guy would get trapped by a 100-pound woman? 477 00:17:31,464 --> 00:17:34,053 Kind of guy who doesn't have the ability to get away, 478 00:17:34,087 --> 00:17:35,606 like Clump over there. 479 00:17:35,640 --> 00:17:37,056 My God, why would you call him that? 480 00:17:37,090 --> 00:17:39,092 -That's so mean. -That's what he calls himself. 481 00:17:39,127 --> 00:17:41,474 You need our help, you know where to find us. 482 00:17:45,167 --> 00:17:46,582 Oh, God. 483 00:17:48,619 --> 00:17:50,276 B.J.: I'm taking my vagina out of storage. 484 00:17:50,310 --> 00:17:52,416 You want to blow the dust off? 485 00:17:54,038 --> 00:17:57,731 Robin, you were right about everything. 486 00:17:57,766 --> 00:17:59,906 I need to be more selfish. 487 00:17:59,940 --> 00:18:01,977 I want you to make love to me on that pinball machine 488 00:18:02,011 --> 00:18:04,117 like Jodie Foster in that movie. 489 00:18:04,152 --> 00:18:06,085 No, she was raped in that movie. 490 00:18:06,119 --> 00:18:09,433 Well, we're gonna need some more wha'sup, wha'sup juice, then. 491 00:18:09,467 --> 00:18:10,917 Oh, hey, pretty. Let's get -- 492 00:18:10,951 --> 00:18:12,125 Hey, stop, stop. 493 00:18:12,160 --> 00:18:13,575 You're trying to make out with everyone in here. 494 00:18:13,609 --> 00:18:15,301 No, quit it with the twincest. 495 00:18:15,335 --> 00:18:16,819 I just want a little of what you have. 496 00:18:16,854 --> 00:18:18,407 I want a Nate of my own. 497 00:18:18,442 --> 00:18:21,272 Well, looks like you and Clump were hitting it off pretty well. 498 00:18:21,307 --> 00:18:22,618 Oh, my God. 499 00:18:22,653 --> 00:18:24,655 Why would call him that? That's so mean. 500 00:18:24,689 --> 00:18:25,794 Oh, no, he calls himself that. 501 00:18:25,828 --> 00:18:27,968 -No, I don't. -Oh. 502 00:18:28,003 --> 00:18:29,522 Um, okay. Well, let's go. 503 00:18:29,556 --> 00:18:31,006 Mm, no. 504 00:18:32,697 --> 00:18:34,872 Boo! Boo, Robin! 505 00:18:34,906 --> 00:18:36,805 She's trying to make me go home! 506 00:18:36,839 --> 00:18:39,152 [ All booing ]All right, all right. 507 00:18:39,911 --> 00:18:41,120 Boo! 508 00:18:42,811 --> 00:18:45,296 [ Clattering ] 509 00:18:47,229 --> 00:18:48,506 -B.J.! -Don't touch me. 510 00:18:48,541 --> 00:18:52,131 -Let's go. -Stop touching my skin! 511 00:18:52,165 --> 00:18:54,063 [ Banging ] 512 00:18:55,099 --> 00:18:58,551 -Come on. -Get off me! 513 00:19:00,725 --> 00:19:01,795 Ah. 514 00:19:01,830 --> 00:19:03,349 Come on.You touch me one more time, 515 00:19:03,383 --> 00:19:04,557 I will knock you off that stage, 516 00:19:04,591 --> 00:19:06,697 handcuff you to a broken truck door in a deserted barn, 517 00:19:06,731 --> 00:19:09,148 and I will leave you for dead. 518 00:19:09,182 --> 00:19:11,011 You're insane. 519 00:19:11,046 --> 00:19:12,220 But it was so good seeing you. 520 00:19:12,254 --> 00:19:13,911 Let's not let so much time pass in between visits. 521 00:19:13,945 --> 00:19:15,602 Okay, bye. Call me. 522 00:19:17,673 --> 00:19:19,675 [ Snoring ] 523 00:19:24,232 --> 00:19:26,475 Mm. 524 00:19:26,510 --> 00:19:28,753 I love you so much. 525 00:19:28,788 --> 00:19:31,549 Oh, my God, babe, you were so right about your sister. 526 00:19:31,584 --> 00:19:33,586 She is nuts. 527 00:19:33,620 --> 00:19:35,553 She trapped us in this trailer. 528 00:19:35,588 --> 00:19:37,176 We got to call the cops on her or something. 529 00:19:37,210 --> 00:19:39,592 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, you were right. 530 00:19:39,626 --> 00:19:42,353 I need to stop meddling in other people's lives. 531 00:19:42,388 --> 00:19:43,734 I just want to be with you. 532 00:19:43,768 --> 00:19:45,701 And I know I don't say this to your face, 533 00:19:45,736 --> 00:19:48,566 but you're everything to me. 534 00:19:48,601 --> 00:19:49,567 Of course I am. 535 00:19:49,602 --> 00:19:50,913 Okay, don't get a big head about it. 536 00:19:50,948 --> 00:19:52,191 -Let's go. -No, wait. 537 00:19:52,225 --> 00:19:53,330 We got to bust him out of here. 538 00:19:53,364 --> 00:19:56,125 He used to be a famous bassist. 539 00:19:56,160 --> 00:19:57,851 He wasn't that famous. 540 00:19:57,886 --> 00:20:05,411 ♪♪ 541 00:20:05,445 --> 00:20:07,516 Claude: B.J.! 542 00:20:07,551 --> 00:20:10,209 B.J.! 543 00:20:10,243 --> 00:20:15,731 I want to watch "Rudy," but all my DVDs are on the ground. 544 00:20:15,766 --> 00:20:17,526 B.J. 545 00:20:17,561 --> 00:20:20,219 Oh. 546 00:20:20,253 --> 00:20:22,221 Think I broke another finger. 547 00:20:23,394 --> 00:20:26,086 [ Groans ] 548 00:20:26,121 --> 00:20:27,778 Oh. 549 00:20:29,918 --> 00:20:33,335 Wha'sup with you, B.J.? You cut your hair. 550 00:20:34,854 --> 00:20:36,442 God, what's this? 551 00:20:36,476 --> 00:20:40,135 Oh, it's just some loose hair. 552 00:20:40,169 --> 00:20:43,483 Everybody's got loose hair. 553 00:20:43,518 --> 00:20:44,553 Maybe in menopause. 554 00:20:44,588 --> 00:20:46,452 [ Laughs ] 555 00:20:46,486 --> 00:20:52,009 ♪♪ 556 00:20:52,043 --> 00:20:57,601 ♪♪