1 00:00:49,824 --> 00:00:53,559 COCKEREL CROWS 2 00:02:03,025 --> 00:02:08,003 'New from Wraith Babes, the hottest girls in nasty situations.' 3 00:02:15,920 --> 00:02:17,619 SONG: I Have A Dream by Abba 4 00:02:24,840 --> 00:02:29,395 ♪ I have a dream 5 00:02:29,520 --> 00:02:33,781 ♪ A song to sing 6 00:02:34,840 --> 00:02:41,434 ♪ To help me cope with anything 7 00:02:43,920 --> 00:02:51,384 ♪ And my destination makes it worthwhile 8 00:02:52,240 --> 00:02:56,239 ♪ Pushing through the darkness 9 00:02:57,040 --> 00:03:01,039 ♪ Still another mile 10 00:03:02,120 --> 00:03:06,119 ♪ I believe in angels 11 00:03:06,640 --> 00:03:11,033 ♪ Something good in everything I see 12 00:03:12,000 --> 00:03:15,839 ♪ I believe in angels 13 00:03:15,840 --> 00:03:19,839 ♪ When I know the time is right for me 14 00:03:20,120 --> 00:03:24,119 ♪ I'll cross the stream 15 00:03:24,240 --> 00:03:28,239 ♪ I have a dream 16 00:03:36,960 --> 00:03:40,959 ♪ I have a dream... ♪ 17 00:03:43,958 --> 00:03:46,234 'Let's play Botherguts!' 18 00:04:02,880 --> 00:04:06,879 VIOLIN PLAYS 19 00:04:16,800 --> 00:04:18,369 'Hey, come on! 20 00:04:18,494 --> 00:04:21,378 'Three, two, one! 21 00:04:21,695 --> 00:04:25,879 'Go! Whoo-hoo! 22 00:04:28,360 --> 00:04:29,992 'Chuck her a bun! 23 00:04:34,240 --> 00:04:37,599 'Not hungry?! That's a first, hey?! 24 00:04:38,772 --> 00:04:40,078 'Come on! 25 00:04:47,034 --> 00:04:48,339 'That'd hurt! 26 00:04:50,360 --> 00:04:54,359 (LAUGHS) Brilliant! 27 00:04:56,640 --> 00:05:00,639 (LAUGHS HYSTERICALLY) 28 00:05:06,382 --> 00:05:08,437 Ah, fucking brilliant, that! 29 00:05:43,600 --> 00:05:46,239 Um, that one does that sometimes. Hang on. 30 00:05:47,412 --> 00:05:50,239 There's a little knob in here somewhere. 31 00:05:52,514 --> 00:05:54,628 Almost the only real thing in there, 32 00:05:54,644 --> 00:05:56,899 and even that's grown in a Petri dish. 33 00:05:58,115 --> 00:05:59,421 Thank you. 34 00:06:11,920 --> 00:06:15,919 VIOLIN MUSIC PLAYS 35 00:06:36,200 --> 00:06:38,959 SEXY MUSIC PLAYS 36 00:06:38,960 --> 00:06:42,959 'Hmm. Oh, ah. 37 00:06:43,640 --> 00:06:45,757 'Hmm. Licking my pussy.' 38 00:06:46,924 --> 00:06:49,000 Oh, for Christ's sake! 39 00:06:49,764 --> 00:06:52,799 Way to mood-kill, blubbernaut! Cheers for the reflection! 40 00:06:52,800 --> 00:06:55,616 One minute I'm in slitsville, the next there's a haunted pig 41 00:06:55,629 --> 00:06:59,069 gawping at me. They may as well have cut to a war crime! 42 00:07:00,523 --> 00:07:01,832 Oi! 43 00:07:06,096 --> 00:07:07,399 You missed a bit. 44 00:07:07,678 --> 00:07:09,630 (LAUGHS) 45 00:07:09,960 --> 00:07:11,269 Pie ape! 46 00:07:15,000 --> 00:07:16,310 You see that? 47 00:07:16,640 --> 00:07:18,183 Fucking pie ape! 48 00:07:19,840 --> 00:07:22,439 (MAN COUGHS) 49 00:07:23,043 --> 00:07:25,799 (LAUGHS) 50 00:07:26,984 --> 00:07:29,799 He'll be in lemon and all before long! 51 00:07:37,360 --> 00:07:40,385 GUNSHOTS 52 00:07:56,880 --> 00:07:58,279 'Selma Telse.' 53 00:07:58,280 --> 00:08:00,199 ♪ Destination! ♪ 54 00:08:00,200 --> 00:08:01,957 'Howie Mandelbrot.' 55 00:08:03,182 --> 00:08:04,582 'Toy Soldiers' 56 00:08:09,991 --> 00:08:14,455 'Each headlines their own content on one of your eight daylight streams. 57 00:08:14,880 --> 00:08:18,353 'But they started here, like you. 58 00:08:19,080 --> 00:08:21,921 'Putting their back into giving back for a brighter now. 59 00:08:23,050 --> 00:08:28,273 'Each paying their dues like you, hoping to become a hot shot.' 60 00:08:29,200 --> 00:08:33,199 ♪ Pushing through the darkness. 61 00:08:33,480 --> 00:08:37,399 ♪ Still another mile. ♪ 62 00:08:37,400 --> 00:08:38,808 'That wasn't good... 63 00:08:40,799 --> 00:08:44,654 '..that was beyond incredible!' 64 00:08:44,880 --> 00:08:48,355 ♪ I believe in angels... ♪ 65 00:08:49,018 --> 00:08:52,675 'You decide the victors, you control their fates, 66 00:08:52,974 --> 00:08:56,157 'you make the call on Hot Shots. 67 00:08:56,520 --> 00:08:59,519 ♪ I believe in angels 68 00:08:59,520 --> 00:09:03,519 ♪ When I know the time is right for me... ♪ 69 00:09:13,193 --> 00:09:18,552 'New from Wraith Babes, the hottest girls in the nastiest situations. 70 00:09:18,570 --> 00:09:20,999 'So let's view it.' 71 00:09:21,000 --> 00:09:23,639 'Resume viewing. Resume viewing. 72 00:09:23,640 --> 00:09:25,879 'Resume viewing. 73 00:09:25,880 --> 00:09:28,399 'Resume viewing. Resume viewing. 74 00:09:28,400 --> 00:09:30,439 'Resume viewing. 75 00:09:30,440 --> 00:09:32,439 'Resume viewing. Resume viewing. 76 00:09:32,440 --> 00:09:34,679 'Resume viewing.' 77 00:09:34,680 --> 00:09:38,679 SEXY MUSIC 78 00:09:39,480 --> 00:09:41,947 'You are going to see it all.' 79 00:09:42,367 --> 00:09:45,252 'Exclusively on Wraith Babes XL. 80 00:09:48,240 --> 00:09:51,475 'Hey, what else were you planning to do with that hand?' 81 00:09:51,600 --> 00:09:53,039 'You lick my pussy, baby. 82 00:09:53,040 --> 00:09:54,799 'Oh, I turn you on! 83 00:09:54,800 --> 00:09:56,121 'Oh!' 84 00:09:59,760 --> 00:10:01,239 'Hi, I'm Roxy, hello. 85 00:10:01,240 --> 00:10:02,723 'Hi, I'm Evie.' 86 00:10:18,509 --> 00:10:22,119 COCKEREL CROWS 87 00:10:44,200 --> 00:10:46,665 LIFT BINGS 88 00:11:23,160 --> 00:11:24,799 Didn't let him sign in. 89 00:11:24,800 --> 00:11:27,088 Told him to report to 22 down. 90 00:11:27,563 --> 00:11:28,906 Told ya! 91 00:11:29,571 --> 00:11:32,083 He's gone lemon, the lazy fuck! 92 00:12:10,081 --> 00:12:11,400 What do you think? 93 00:12:15,000 --> 00:12:16,437 It's a bit much. 94 00:12:18,160 --> 00:12:19,469 Yeah. 95 00:12:27,818 --> 00:12:30,889 'Best thing about my new lifestyle? Um, where do I start? 96 00:12:31,581 --> 00:12:35,088 'I love choosing my own clothes and I love gold. 97 00:12:35,722 --> 00:12:38,433 'I feel like it really expresses who I really am 98 00:12:39,004 --> 00:12:41,319 'and I love looking over outside. 99 00:12:41,558 --> 00:12:44,759 'It's so beautiful sometimes, I just wish that everyone could see it.' 100 00:12:44,884 --> 00:12:46,594 Oh, nice outfit(!) 101 00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:49,879 Suits you. (LAUGHS) 102 00:12:51,686 --> 00:12:55,429 'Well, honesty is ruthless so I suppose it's just honesty... 103 00:12:56,243 --> 00:12:57,561 'ruthless honesty.' 104 00:12:59,461 --> 00:13:01,376 URINATING 105 00:13:02,587 --> 00:13:04,527 ♪ You can blame me 106 00:13:06,000 --> 00:13:07,789 ♪ Try to shame me 107 00:13:09,120 --> 00:13:13,119 ♪ Still long to have you 108 00:13:14,891 --> 00:13:19,617 ♪ The world may think I'm foolish 109 00:13:20,524 --> 00:13:23,037 ♪ They can't see you 110 00:13:24,281 --> 00:13:26,096 ♪ Like I can 111 00:13:27,114 --> 00:13:29,800 ♪ Oh, but anyone 112 00:13:31,247 --> 00:13:33,224 ♪ Who knows what love is 113 00:13:34,908 --> 00:13:38,365 ♪ Will understand 114 00:14:14,581 --> 00:14:16,111 Drying my hands. 115 00:14:17,778 --> 00:14:19,084 Impressive. 116 00:14:19,584 --> 00:14:22,083 (MAN SPITS AND FARTS) 117 00:14:26,760 --> 00:14:28,039 Have fun... 118 00:14:28,040 --> 00:14:29,647 I mean, on the... 119 00:14:33,622 --> 00:14:35,239 'Hey, regular user! 120 00:14:35,364 --> 00:14:40,407 'New from Wraith Babes, the hottest girls in the nastiest situation. 121 00:14:40,532 --> 00:14:41,855 'Select view... ' 122 00:14:58,520 --> 00:14:59,848 Dick. 123 00:15:11,836 --> 00:15:15,156 (GUNSHOT NOISES) 124 00:15:15,961 --> 00:15:20,201 GUNFIRE 125 00:16:19,429 --> 00:16:21,817 Detritus. Sorry. 126 00:16:47,680 --> 00:16:48,997 (MUMBLES) 127 00:16:51,000 --> 00:16:53,503 ♪ Who knows what love is? 128 00:16:56,000 --> 00:16:59,199 ♪ We'll understand 129 00:17:01,920 --> 00:17:05,919 ♪ To do... LOUD MUSIC AND VOICEOVER 130 00:17:12,600 --> 00:17:13,921 AUDIO STOPS 131 00:17:16,680 --> 00:17:17,986 ♪ Any more 132 00:17:19,680 --> 00:17:22,556 ♪ Who knows what love is? 133 00:17:24,717 --> 00:17:27,416 ♪ We'll understand. ♪ 134 00:17:33,800 --> 00:17:36,635 MACHINE BEEPS 135 00:17:36,974 --> 00:17:38,155 Come on! 136 00:17:38,156 --> 00:17:39,799 Wait. There's a knack to it. 137 00:17:39,800 --> 00:17:42,217 - You'll take your fingers off. - Trust me. 138 00:17:43,280 --> 00:17:44,886 ITEM DROPS INSIDE MACHINE 139 00:17:45,960 --> 00:17:47,269 Smart. 140 00:17:51,280 --> 00:17:52,583 Bing Manson. 141 00:17:53,080 --> 00:17:54,479 Short for Bingham. 142 00:17:55,210 --> 00:17:56,528 Abi Carner. 143 00:17:57,720 --> 00:17:59,159 Short for Abi Carner. 144 00:18:00,018 --> 00:18:02,331 You're a new person. I've not seen you. 145 00:18:02,880 --> 00:18:04,483 I just went 21 last week. 146 00:18:05,080 --> 00:18:07,900 I wanted to go to Airdale My sister's there, but... 147 00:18:08,520 --> 00:18:10,401 It's full, apparently. 148 00:18:14,160 --> 00:18:16,314 Proper fruit. It was worth the risk. 149 00:18:17,040 --> 00:18:20,450 The most natural thing in there's probably grown in a Petri dish. 150 00:18:22,040 --> 00:18:23,346 Yeah. 151 00:18:23,920 --> 00:18:25,275 Quite good, though. 152 00:18:25,400 --> 00:18:27,039 Yeah. That's the right way round. 153 00:18:27,040 --> 00:18:29,919 When you get the cheap one, you end up having to pedal it off. 154 00:18:29,920 --> 00:18:33,199 Then you want more sugar. Then you're playing catch-up and I've... 155 00:18:33,200 --> 00:18:36,088 I've been there. It's a vicious circle. 156 00:18:38,547 --> 00:18:40,475 Can't you just use that CPT app? 157 00:18:40,485 --> 00:18:41,803 What's that? 158 00:18:42,164 --> 00:18:44,399 This cognitive behavioural thing. 159 00:18:44,400 --> 00:18:47,090 It realigns your thinking to pick healthy food. 160 00:18:47,770 --> 00:18:49,934 Whispers you into it while you sleep. 161 00:18:52,079 --> 00:18:54,131 Yeah, I should try that, yeah. 162 00:19:00,929 --> 00:19:02,819 I liked your singing the other day. 163 00:19:06,520 --> 00:19:09,106 I was trying to sing so no-one could hear me pee. 164 00:19:09,436 --> 00:19:10,959 I'm not Selma or anything. 165 00:19:10,960 --> 00:19:14,959 You've got a phenomenal voice. It was the most beautiful song... 166 00:19:17,480 --> 00:19:20,032 Y... You think I'm being cheesy? 167 00:19:22,760 --> 00:19:25,177 All right, I am being cheesy. 168 00:19:25,202 --> 00:19:27,477 But it was beautiful, so, you know... 169 00:19:28,880 --> 00:19:32,601 Reality's cheesy sometimes. Not often, admittedly, but... 170 00:19:33,520 --> 00:19:34,830 Now. 171 00:19:36,080 --> 00:19:37,414 Yeah... 172 00:19:44,440 --> 00:19:45,749 Well, thank you. 173 00:19:50,034 --> 00:19:51,663 It's just noises, though. 174 00:19:52,409 --> 00:19:53,951 Noises in the right order. 175 00:19:53,976 --> 00:19:55,399 Don't downplay... you're good. 176 00:19:55,400 --> 00:19:57,853 The song's good. It's old. 177 00:20:00,246 --> 00:20:03,828 My mum used to sing it and she learnt it from her mum. 178 00:20:04,719 --> 00:20:06,024 A hand-me-down. 179 00:20:09,040 --> 00:20:11,263 You thought of trying out for Hot Shot? 180 00:20:11,511 --> 00:20:14,260 (LAUGHS) Me? 181 00:20:14,726 --> 00:20:16,039 Why not? 182 00:20:16,040 --> 00:20:17,738 Singing in front of Judge Hope? 183 00:20:17,760 --> 00:20:21,359 I'd die! Seriously, I'd be halfway to the afterlife come the chorus. 184 00:20:21,360 --> 00:20:22,554 No, you'd walk it. 185 00:20:22,566 --> 00:20:23,783 A) I wouldn't. 186 00:20:24,320 --> 00:20:27,986 And B)... I don't have that clockage. 187 00:20:28,708 --> 00:20:31,239 It's, what, 12 mil just to enter? 188 00:20:31,283 --> 00:20:33,519 What kind of bike time is that? Six months? 189 00:20:33,520 --> 00:20:35,839 - Yeah, but... - I'm hand to mouth. 190 00:20:35,840 --> 00:20:39,859 I know people save and stuff to get onto that stage 191 00:20:39,873 --> 00:20:42,477 and then there's what Selma did. But, you know what? 192 00:20:42,480 --> 00:20:45,866 - I'd rather not give myself... - Yeah, but I'll gift it to you. 193 00:20:48,503 --> 00:20:50,181 The full 12, I'll gift it. 194 00:20:56,528 --> 00:20:57,919 Don't be ridiculous! 195 00:20:58,435 --> 00:21:00,263 Seriously, I've got it spare. 196 00:21:00,680 --> 00:21:02,739 You've got 12 mil spare? 197 00:21:03,406 --> 00:21:04,886 My brother left it me. 198 00:21:05,520 --> 00:21:07,435 Own a channel, does he? 199 00:21:07,717 --> 00:21:09,023 No, he... 200 00:21:09,480 --> 00:21:10,789 He died. 201 00:21:12,670 --> 00:21:16,028 He... He died last year, 202 00:21:16,524 --> 00:21:18,104 so it got transferred to me. 203 00:21:18,600 --> 00:21:21,252 Just over six months' worth, but I've kept it. 204 00:21:23,797 --> 00:21:25,649 Why don't you spend it on you, then? 205 00:21:25,661 --> 00:21:28,472 And buy what? Some new shoes for my doppel to wear? 206 00:21:29,784 --> 00:21:32,439 I don't know, upgrade your MOS... 207 00:21:32,440 --> 00:21:34,433 Or get a Fat Attack season pass? 208 00:21:35,493 --> 00:21:37,319 Buy one of those wall buddies. 209 00:21:37,329 --> 00:21:40,737 The new ones that talk to you after shutting and solve your problems. 210 00:21:40,760 --> 00:21:44,744 They guide your dreams, like gurus. It's amazing, really, what they can do. 211 00:21:44,769 --> 00:21:48,319 A mirror plug-in? That shows me how I look as a werewolf? What's the point? 212 00:21:48,320 --> 00:21:51,563 - I know it can be quite funny. - It's all just stuff. It's... 213 00:21:53,004 --> 00:21:55,668 It's stuff, it's confetti, it's... 214 00:21:58,560 --> 00:22:00,226 You've got something real. 215 00:22:02,160 --> 00:22:03,963 What better to spend it on? 216 00:22:04,088 --> 00:22:06,152 You heard me singing in a toilet. 217 00:22:07,533 --> 00:22:08,839 Is that real? 218 00:22:08,840 --> 00:22:11,318 More than anything that's happened all year. 219 00:22:15,417 --> 00:22:18,029 I can't take that kind of clockage off someone. 220 00:22:19,235 --> 00:22:20,988 It's 12 mils, no way. 221 00:22:21,600 --> 00:22:22,971 Let me do this. 222 00:22:26,337 --> 00:22:28,924 I... I look around here, I just... 223 00:22:30,504 --> 00:22:32,692 I just want something real to happen. 224 00:22:35,344 --> 00:22:36,649 Just once. 225 00:22:39,696 --> 00:22:40,999 I'd mess up. 226 00:22:41,000 --> 00:22:42,844 You wouldn't. I don't care anyway. 227 00:22:43,640 --> 00:22:46,679 I'll go with you. I'll be able to force you. 228 00:22:46,946 --> 00:22:48,575 I'll force you to go. 229 00:22:50,560 --> 00:22:51,943 It's tomorrow. 230 00:22:53,791 --> 00:22:55,271 Come on! 231 00:23:01,912 --> 00:23:03,218 Say yes. 232 00:23:06,883 --> 00:23:09,157 I'll go as far as to say, "OK." 233 00:23:11,240 --> 00:23:13,171 Which proves acceptable. 234 00:23:15,760 --> 00:23:17,156 Thank God for that. 235 00:23:21,240 --> 00:23:22,550 Walking away now. 236 00:23:23,906 --> 00:23:25,211 You loon! 237 00:23:26,320 --> 00:23:27,691 I can live with it! 238 00:23:32,000 --> 00:23:33,309 (SIGHS) 239 00:23:58,969 --> 00:24:01,145 I'd love to fucking ruin that and all. 240 00:24:29,320 --> 00:24:30,626 What? 241 00:24:31,130 --> 00:24:32,435 15? 242 00:24:36,006 --> 00:24:37,317 A flippin' joke... 243 00:25:12,241 --> 00:25:13,547 (LAUGHS) 244 00:25:26,640 --> 00:25:28,279 LOUD MUSIC AND SOUND EFFECTS 245 00:25:28,280 --> 00:25:30,381 'New from Wraith Babes. 246 00:25:30,394 --> 00:25:33,652 'The hottest girls in the nastiest situations.' 247 00:25:34,753 --> 00:25:36,271 Oh, yeah! Ooh! 248 00:25:44,242 --> 00:25:45,573 (SIGHS) 249 00:25:55,040 --> 00:25:56,871 Can't believe I'm doing this. 250 00:26:00,087 --> 00:26:01,395 I am doing this. 251 00:26:04,973 --> 00:26:06,304 I can't be doing this. 252 00:26:06,329 --> 00:26:07,846 Can you trade it back? 253 00:26:08,280 --> 00:26:09,595 The ticket? 254 00:26:09,888 --> 00:26:10,970 Don't be mad. 255 00:26:11,746 --> 00:26:14,345 It's a lot of pressure to put someone under, you know. 256 00:26:14,369 --> 00:26:17,464 Don't think I'm not grateful. But it's, it's just... 257 00:26:17,489 --> 00:26:18,795 You're babbling. 258 00:26:18,920 --> 00:26:20,390 I'm babbling. 259 00:26:28,738 --> 00:26:30,230 I made you this. 260 00:26:33,787 --> 00:26:37,331 You never get to keep them more than a day, but there it is, anyway. 261 00:26:42,063 --> 00:26:43,294 It folds flat. 262 00:26:43,712 --> 00:26:46,386 So you can keep them in your waistband. 263 00:26:50,640 --> 00:26:51,949 Thank you. 264 00:26:57,200 --> 00:26:58,799 It's, you know... 265 00:26:59,102 --> 00:27:00,407 something. 266 00:27:30,756 --> 00:27:32,197 Face the screen, please. 267 00:27:36,240 --> 00:27:38,599 Is he your Friends And Family allocation? 268 00:27:39,471 --> 00:27:40,777 (Yeah). 269 00:27:41,150 --> 00:27:42,470 Hand, please. 270 00:27:43,713 --> 00:27:44,714 Oh!! 271 00:27:45,136 --> 00:27:46,727 That's not permanent, is it? 272 00:27:46,852 --> 00:27:48,239 Oh, no. Two months max. 273 00:27:48,330 --> 00:27:50,498 Round to the right, and through the scanner. 274 00:27:53,880 --> 00:27:56,146 VOCAL EXERCISES 275 00:28:14,976 --> 00:28:16,284 Where do we go now? 276 00:28:16,916 --> 00:28:18,228 You wait here. 277 00:28:19,280 --> 00:28:20,581 How long? 278 00:28:25,242 --> 00:28:26,544 So, what do we do? 279 00:28:26,556 --> 00:28:27,839 I don't know. 280 00:28:29,000 --> 00:28:30,775 Hey, hey, hey. Fuck off. 281 00:28:35,643 --> 00:28:37,275 Her with the dark hair? 282 00:28:37,400 --> 00:28:39,150 Yeah, yeah, yeah. The pretty one. 283 00:28:40,020 --> 00:28:42,079 Yup. OK. Move. 284 00:28:43,443 --> 00:28:45,088 They want to preview you. 285 00:28:45,785 --> 00:28:47,519 - What? - Preview. Come on. 286 00:28:47,968 --> 00:28:49,523 - He's with me. - Hand? 287 00:28:51,445 --> 00:28:52,768 Show me your hand. 288 00:28:53,297 --> 00:28:54,599 OK. You, too. 289 00:28:54,724 --> 00:28:57,025 That's not fair. She's new. That's not fair. 290 00:28:57,029 --> 00:28:58,539 I don't pick the order. 291 00:28:58,730 --> 00:29:01,268 I've waited here all week, and she's just walked in. 292 00:29:01,347 --> 00:29:05,162 Everyone will get seen eventually. I don't pick the order. 293 00:29:05,170 --> 00:29:06,646 But I'm a good singer. 294 00:29:06,654 --> 00:29:09,270 I can sing. I'm a good singer, I am. 295 00:29:09,271 --> 00:29:11,620 - Stand aside. - It's not fair! 296 00:29:12,690 --> 00:29:13,995 It's not fair! 297 00:29:19,808 --> 00:29:22,084 - Next lot. - Stand there. 298 00:29:26,706 --> 00:29:29,224 Would you like to be as big as Salma one day? 299 00:29:29,589 --> 00:29:32,453 Erm... Yeah, I mean... 300 00:29:32,478 --> 00:29:33,719 Could you say that 301 00:29:33,720 --> 00:29:36,317 as a self-contained sentence into that screen? 302 00:29:38,840 --> 00:29:41,359 I guess I'd like to be as big as Salma one day. 303 00:29:41,360 --> 00:29:43,319 OK. Proceed to stage area. 304 00:29:44,144 --> 00:29:45,450 Are we done? 305 00:29:48,486 --> 00:29:50,525 - Both performing? - Just her. 306 00:29:50,538 --> 00:29:53,159 - Okay... and what are you? - Singer. 307 00:29:53,493 --> 00:29:55,311 - Compliance? - No, thanks. 308 00:29:55,436 --> 00:29:58,536 A-ha. Yes, thanks! It's compulsory for all contestants. 309 00:29:58,549 --> 00:30:01,078 More to the point, it'll stop you puking with nerves. 310 00:30:01,132 --> 00:30:03,328 - She's got to perform. - Well, mmm(!) 311 00:30:03,751 --> 00:30:05,749 Look, just sip it, you'll be fine. 312 00:30:10,363 --> 00:30:12,357 Just a touch of light foam. It'll pass. 313 00:30:12,482 --> 00:30:13,906 Make the most of it. 314 00:30:14,031 --> 00:30:15,877 You can't get this stuff anywhere else. 315 00:30:16,324 --> 00:30:17,879 You OK? Yeah. 316 00:30:17,880 --> 00:30:19,189 You OK? 317 00:30:21,962 --> 00:30:23,277 Yeah. Just, erm... 318 00:30:24,392 --> 00:30:28,399 I don't know. Things are just wider apart. I'm fine. 319 00:30:29,204 --> 00:30:31,765 - Really? - Yeah, I'm fine. 320 00:30:32,680 --> 00:30:34,086 Right. You're on. 321 00:30:51,846 --> 00:30:53,413 A little closer, please. 322 00:30:58,146 --> 00:30:59,477 Little closer. 323 00:31:02,688 --> 00:31:04,280 Into the light, love. 324 00:31:12,644 --> 00:31:15,852 - And who're we looking at here? - Abi Khan. 325 00:31:16,486 --> 00:31:18,861 What are you going to do for us today, Abi? 326 00:31:19,446 --> 00:31:20,839 I'm going to sing. 327 00:31:20,840 --> 00:31:22,299 You speak up, love. 328 00:31:22,424 --> 00:31:23,770 We don't bite. 329 00:31:25,386 --> 00:31:26,692 I'm going to sing. 330 00:31:27,080 --> 00:31:30,719 Hey, would you mind lifting up your top for me? 331 00:31:32,272 --> 00:31:33,976 Can you take off your top? 332 00:31:33,991 --> 00:31:35,981 I want to check out those titties. 333 00:31:36,106 --> 00:31:37,162 Woo-hoo-hoo! 334 00:31:37,163 --> 00:31:38,471 Oh! 335 00:31:39,528 --> 00:31:41,231 Come on. Mucho feranto. 336 00:31:42,629 --> 00:31:44,258 Ah! No titties? 337 00:31:45,064 --> 00:31:47,203 She says she's here to sing. 338 00:31:47,840 --> 00:31:50,159 I got to see those titties, though. 339 00:31:50,284 --> 00:31:51,679 Come on, girl. 340 00:31:51,680 --> 00:31:53,026 I mean, damn! 341 00:31:53,051 --> 00:31:54,399 Heh-heh-heh. 342 00:31:54,760 --> 00:31:56,079 You hot. 343 00:31:56,556 --> 00:31:59,018 Please, just sing for us. 344 00:32:05,306 --> 00:32:06,611 ♪ Anyone 345 00:32:09,366 --> 00:32:10,697 ♪ Anyone 346 00:32:12,413 --> 00:32:14,925 ♪ You can blame me 347 00:32:16,924 --> 00:32:19,439 ♪ Try to shame me 348 00:32:19,440 --> 00:32:23,439 ♪ And still I'll care for you 349 00:32:28,443 --> 00:32:30,830 ♪ You can run around 350 00:32:32,430 --> 00:32:34,718 ♪ Even put me down 351 00:32:35,280 --> 00:32:39,536 ♪ Still I'll be there for you 352 00:32:44,640 --> 00:32:50,090 ♪ The world may think I'm foolish 353 00:32:50,560 --> 00:32:54,013 ♪ They can't see you 354 00:32:54,811 --> 00:32:57,155 ♪ Like I can 355 00:32:57,830 --> 00:33:01,279 ♪ Oh, but anyone 356 00:33:02,632 --> 00:33:05,144 ♪ Who knows what love is 357 00:33:07,090 --> 00:33:11,106 ♪ Will understand 358 00:33:15,182 --> 00:33:16,487 ♪ Anyone 359 00:33:18,738 --> 00:33:20,740 ♪ Anyone 360 00:33:23,920 --> 00:33:26,398 ♪ I just feel so sorry 361 00:33:28,360 --> 00:33:33,357 ♪ For the ones who pity me 362 00:33:38,480 --> 00:33:39,799 ♪ Anyone 363 00:33:39,800 --> 00:33:42,519 ♪ Cos they just don't know 364 00:33:42,520 --> 00:33:43,559 ♪ Anyone 365 00:33:43,684 --> 00:33:49,296 ♪ Oh, they don't know What happiness and love can be 366 00:33:55,680 --> 00:34:00,695 ♪ I know I know to ever let you go 367 00:34:00,820 --> 00:34:06,955 ♪ Oh, is more than I could ever stand 368 00:34:07,593 --> 00:34:11,079 ♪ Oh, but anyone 369 00:34:12,120 --> 00:34:15,070 ♪ Who knows what love is 370 00:34:17,000 --> 00:34:21,517 ♪ Will understand... ♪ 371 00:34:22,361 --> 00:34:24,251 OK. I'm going to stop you there. 372 00:34:25,842 --> 00:34:27,058 That was... 373 00:34:28,143 --> 00:34:29,368 without a doubt... 374 00:34:32,040 --> 00:34:35,839 probably the best piece of singing we've had this season. 375 00:34:36,066 --> 00:34:38,018 Yes! Well done! 376 00:34:38,320 --> 00:34:42,319 CHEERING 377 00:34:43,240 --> 00:34:44,549 Fair play. 378 00:34:47,844 --> 00:34:49,399 But I have to say... 379 00:34:49,400 --> 00:34:51,411 BOOING 380 00:34:51,536 --> 00:34:53,389 No. No, no, no. I have to say, 381 00:34:54,247 --> 00:34:55,555 actually, 382 00:34:55,569 --> 00:34:57,210 I'm with Rafe on this one. 383 00:34:58,777 --> 00:35:01,319 Good though your voice is... and it is good. 384 00:35:01,831 --> 00:35:04,519 It's not the most magical sound in the world. 385 00:35:04,520 --> 00:35:06,085 It's just... good. 386 00:35:07,336 --> 00:35:10,134 I don't think anyone's really hearing it. 387 00:35:10,259 --> 00:35:12,758 Certainly not the guys in the audience. 388 00:35:13,043 --> 00:35:16,239 These looks you got going on kind of get in the way. 389 00:35:16,736 --> 00:35:19,012 Men will want you. Women will hate you. 390 00:35:19,321 --> 00:35:21,117 All the time you're on stage. 391 00:35:22,442 --> 00:35:24,195 Couldn't help picturing you. 392 00:35:25,125 --> 00:35:26,639 In an erotic scenario. 393 00:35:26,640 --> 00:35:27,954 CHEERING 394 00:35:27,967 --> 00:35:30,367 Getting pretty turned on, if I'm honest. 395 00:35:34,240 --> 00:35:35,555 Right. 396 00:35:35,680 --> 00:35:37,364 You've got this pure beauty 397 00:35:38,023 --> 00:35:40,150 What seems to be a knockout figure. 398 00:35:40,846 --> 00:35:43,799 And this sort of interesting innocence going on. 399 00:35:43,809 --> 00:35:46,259 That's something I think Rafe's erotica channels 400 00:35:46,268 --> 00:35:47,919 could really play with. 401 00:35:47,920 --> 00:35:50,439 Absolutely. That's what I thought 402 00:35:50,440 --> 00:35:51,839 the moment I saw you. 403 00:35:52,017 --> 00:35:53,319 The moment. 404 00:35:53,860 --> 00:35:57,199 I'd watch. I don't know a man here who wouldn't. 405 00:35:57,200 --> 00:35:59,675 To be honest, some of us girls might join you. 406 00:35:59,800 --> 00:36:03,335 CHEERING 407 00:36:03,615 --> 00:36:04,946 Get off me! 408 00:36:05,071 --> 00:36:06,388 Don't! Abi! 409 00:36:07,523 --> 00:36:09,750 No! Abi! Abi! 410 00:36:09,875 --> 00:36:11,879 I don't think that's quite... 411 00:36:14,205 --> 00:36:18,757 You will never have to pedal again. Not one minute. 412 00:36:19,731 --> 00:36:21,945 We could really work with you. 413 00:36:22,070 --> 00:36:25,215 Last year we had singers, singers, singers. 414 00:36:25,576 --> 00:36:26,778 So many singers. 415 00:36:26,803 --> 00:36:29,637 So, to be a singer you have to be truly exceptional 416 00:36:30,123 --> 00:36:33,839 There's just no slots left for an above average singer. 417 00:36:33,840 --> 00:36:36,559 Not for the next few years, at least. Charity? 418 00:36:36,560 --> 00:36:39,442 No. Saturation point, singer-wise. 419 00:36:40,414 --> 00:36:42,615 Listen. We said, right from the start. 420 00:36:42,880 --> 00:36:45,315 We'll go with something different this season. 421 00:36:45,440 --> 00:36:47,355 That's why he's on the panel! 422 00:36:48,039 --> 00:36:51,384 She would be a star on our stream. 423 00:36:51,929 --> 00:36:53,239 A star. 424 00:36:53,891 --> 00:36:55,196 On his... 425 00:36:56,634 --> 00:36:58,279 You're furniture, at best. 426 00:36:58,280 --> 00:37:01,142 Forget about all the shame, and all that ppht-ppht-tew. 427 00:37:01,938 --> 00:37:03,599 We medicate against that. 428 00:37:03,600 --> 00:37:05,920 You will have pleasure forever. 429 00:37:06,218 --> 00:37:08,507 Realistically, sweetheart, it is that, 430 00:37:08,840 --> 00:37:10,146 or the bike. 431 00:37:13,596 --> 00:37:14,934 I, I don't think... 432 00:37:14,942 --> 00:37:16,962 This is starting to annoy me. 433 00:37:17,403 --> 00:37:20,511 Who do you think is powering that spotlight? 434 00:37:26,449 --> 00:37:28,401 Millions of people. That's who. 435 00:37:28,886 --> 00:37:31,063 All of them, out there, right now. 436 00:37:32,030 --> 00:37:34,243 Putting in an honest day on the bike, 437 00:37:34,260 --> 00:37:36,730 while you stand in the light they're generating 438 00:37:36,747 --> 00:37:37,913 and dither. 439 00:37:38,271 --> 00:37:39,576 You know what? 440 00:37:39,701 --> 00:37:43,707 They would give anything. Do anything to be where you are now. 441 00:37:44,379 --> 00:37:45,684 Am I right?! 442 00:37:45,809 --> 00:37:48,787 CHEERING 443 00:37:48,912 --> 00:37:52,170 You want to cock a snook at all that, as though it's nothing. 444 00:37:53,962 --> 00:37:55,653 As though they're nothing. 445 00:37:56,640 --> 00:37:58,060 And that makes me sick. 446 00:37:59,320 --> 00:38:00,683 But, you know what? 447 00:38:02,160 --> 00:38:03,911 Maybe you do belong on the bike. 448 00:38:04,160 --> 00:38:07,107 Because you don't seem to be very willing to step off it. 449 00:38:10,166 --> 00:38:11,235 I do want to. 450 00:38:11,247 --> 00:38:12,578 We have a decision? 451 00:38:12,703 --> 00:38:17,679 (CROWD CHANTS) Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! 452 00:38:28,760 --> 00:38:32,079 Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! 453 00:38:32,080 --> 00:38:36,079 Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! 454 00:38:47,440 --> 00:38:48,759 I suppose. 455 00:38:48,760 --> 00:38:52,759 CHEERING 456 00:38:57,080 --> 00:38:59,559 Woo-hoo-hoo! Go on! 457 00:38:59,560 --> 00:39:00,865 Well done! 458 00:39:30,400 --> 00:39:34,399 MELANCHOLIC MUSIC 459 00:40:03,320 --> 00:40:07,319 BACKGROUND CONVERSATION 460 00:40:10,000 --> 00:40:12,164 Best thing about my new lifestyle... 461 00:40:13,532 --> 00:40:15,235 I get to meet lots of hot guys. 462 00:40:17,800 --> 00:40:19,576 Wraith treats me well. 463 00:40:21,368 --> 00:40:24,119 Oh, for Christ's sake! 464 00:40:24,871 --> 00:40:26,438 I pay for this! 465 00:40:26,823 --> 00:40:29,956 I... pay... for... this! 466 00:40:30,292 --> 00:40:33,786 I pump my arse off, and you... Fuck you! 467 00:40:35,480 --> 00:40:37,639 Yeah, keep waddling, pig tits. 468 00:40:37,991 --> 00:40:40,841 Find your horizon and fuck off over it! 469 00:40:44,303 --> 00:40:45,658 'It's a dream. 470 00:40:46,560 --> 00:40:48,010 'I get to live... 471 00:40:48,404 --> 00:40:49,707 'in a... 472 00:40:50,080 --> 00:40:51,524 'beautiful place. 473 00:40:52,367 --> 00:40:53,673 'And... 474 00:40:54,692 --> 00:40:56,011 'wear lots of... 475 00:40:57,276 --> 00:40:58,582 'beautiful things. 476 00:41:03,640 --> 00:41:04,949 'It's a dream.' 477 00:41:09,640 --> 00:41:13,639 FAIRGROUND-STYLE MUSIC 478 00:41:28,480 --> 00:41:30,319 (COMPUTER) Insufficient funds. 479 00:41:30,565 --> 00:41:32,235 'From Wraith Babes... ' 480 00:41:32,256 --> 00:41:33,561 'C'mon, girl... ' 481 00:41:34,258 --> 00:41:36,707 '..a Wraith Babes reality special.' 482 00:41:37,640 --> 00:41:40,050 I guess I'd like to be as big as Thelma one day. 483 00:41:40,997 --> 00:41:44,690 'Millions watched her glide through the Hot Shot curtain of dreams 484 00:41:44,715 --> 00:41:46,435 'to sing her heart out.' 485 00:41:47,073 --> 00:41:50,144 ♪ Oh, but anyone... ♪ 486 00:41:50,269 --> 00:41:53,319 'What happened next shocked them all.' 487 00:41:53,444 --> 00:41:55,119 We could really work with you. 488 00:41:55,490 --> 00:41:56,846 Do we have a decision? 489 00:41:57,405 --> 00:42:00,835 'Now, watch her stunning erotic debut... ' 490 00:42:00,960 --> 00:42:04,799 ♪ PHARELL WILLIAMS: Lapdance 491 00:42:04,800 --> 00:42:06,218 No, no, no, no, no... 492 00:42:07,263 --> 00:42:09,039 'So, who do we have here?' 493 00:42:09,857 --> 00:42:11,159 I'm Abby. 494 00:42:11,775 --> 00:42:13,279 'You were at Hot Shot. 495 00:42:14,235 --> 00:42:16,449 'You were real impressive.' 496 00:42:19,163 --> 00:42:20,519 BEEPING 497 00:42:20,520 --> 00:42:22,239 (COMPUTER) Resume viewing! 498 00:42:22,240 --> 00:42:24,399 - No! No! - Resume viewing! 499 00:42:24,400 --> 00:42:25,839 Resume viewing! 500 00:42:25,840 --> 00:42:27,159 Resume viewing! Resume viewing! 501 00:42:27,160 --> 00:42:28,879 Resume viewing! Resume viewing! Resume viewing! 502 00:42:28,880 --> 00:42:32,239 Resume viewing! 503 00:42:32,240 --> 00:42:33,537 'Look at you. 504 00:42:34,018 --> 00:42:35,957 'All clean and shiny.' 505 00:42:36,347 --> 00:42:38,286 BEEPING 506 00:42:38,374 --> 00:42:40,666 (COMPUTER) Portal disabled during commercial. 507 00:42:40,697 --> 00:42:42,919 'You'll see everything. 508 00:42:43,044 --> 00:42:44,901 'You'll see it all! 509 00:42:45,425 --> 00:42:47,017 'Open your mouth. 510 00:42:47,427 --> 00:42:49,603 'Open... take it in... 511 00:42:50,192 --> 00:42:53,326 'take it in... ahh... yeah... 512 00:42:53,451 --> 00:42:55,043 Aaarrghhh! 513 00:42:55,480 --> 00:42:59,479 No! No! No! No! 514 00:43:28,560 --> 00:43:32,559 (MALE HEAVY BREATHING) 515 00:43:38,400 --> 00:43:42,399 (ABBY MOANING) 516 00:44:29,240 --> 00:44:33,877 (ABBY SINGING FAINTLY) 517 00:45:10,192 --> 00:45:13,238 (TV) 'The hottest girls... ' 518 00:45:53,480 --> 00:45:57,479 MANIC LAUGHTER 519 00:45:57,480 --> 00:46:01,279 MANIC GIGGLING 520 00:46:01,280 --> 00:46:05,279 CRAZED LAUGHTER CONTINUES 521 00:47:15,040 --> 00:47:19,039 (BREATHES HEAVILY) 522 00:48:43,400 --> 00:48:47,399 PARTY MUSIC ECHOES INDISTINCTLY 523 00:48:50,858 --> 00:48:53,134 Could you stand aside, please? 524 00:48:56,024 --> 00:48:59,037 Come up into the back, in front of me, please. 525 00:48:59,162 --> 00:49:00,698 Are you messin'? 526 00:49:07,600 --> 00:49:08,929 A what-nic one? 527 00:49:09,716 --> 00:49:12,427 Oh, an eth-nic one! Aah! 528 00:49:13,960 --> 00:49:15,270 On it. 529 00:49:15,848 --> 00:49:19,243 We're going to preview, all right? Want to follow me in the back? 530 00:49:20,080 --> 00:49:21,575 You're a prick! 531 00:49:25,560 --> 00:49:26,894 Next, lot. 532 00:49:27,897 --> 00:49:29,203 Stand there! 533 00:49:32,966 --> 00:49:34,866 So what are you, a magician? 534 00:49:35,820 --> 00:49:37,076 An entertainer. 535 00:49:37,100 --> 00:49:41,359 Could you say that down the screen as a self-contained sentence? 536 00:49:42,600 --> 00:49:46,599 I'm an entertainer. 537 00:49:51,563 --> 00:49:54,336 Ah, before you go on, you need to drink a compliance. 538 00:49:54,361 --> 00:49:56,684 They give me one back there. Really? Oh, OK. 539 00:49:56,809 --> 00:49:59,719 Well, in that case, you are good to... 540 00:50:00,855 --> 00:50:02,173 go. 541 00:50:15,694 --> 00:50:16,995 Who are you? 542 00:50:17,243 --> 00:50:18,639 Bing Madsen. 543 00:50:19,304 --> 00:50:21,132 What are you planning to do for us? 544 00:50:21,142 --> 00:50:22,444 What the fuck?! 545 00:50:22,520 --> 00:50:23,990 'A sort of performance.' 546 00:50:24,833 --> 00:50:26,319 A sort of performance? 547 00:50:26,389 --> 00:50:27,690 Yes. 548 00:50:27,815 --> 00:50:30,140 Mmm! Man of mystery! 549 00:50:30,800 --> 00:50:32,109 Hmm. 550 00:50:35,160 --> 00:50:37,012 I suppose we'd better see it. 551 00:50:37,609 --> 00:50:38,915 OK. 552 00:50:40,960 --> 00:50:44,959 ♪ BASS INTRO, BUILDING IN INTENSITY 553 00:50:48,120 --> 00:50:50,399 ♪ HIP-HOP RHYTHM KICKS IN 554 00:50:50,400 --> 00:50:54,399 CHEERING 555 00:51:20,323 --> 00:51:21,605 Knob'ead! 556 00:51:21,880 --> 00:51:23,288 Fucking cock! 557 00:51:33,240 --> 00:51:37,239 CROWD YELLS AND WHOOPS 558 00:51:37,280 --> 00:51:40,827 Stop or I'll do it. This is a main artery. Keep walking, you kill me. 559 00:51:44,699 --> 00:51:48,330 No-one stops me till I've said my piece. Then you can do what you like. 560 00:51:48,339 --> 00:51:50,109 Man, just fucking kill yourself. 561 00:51:50,114 --> 00:51:53,799 Get heavy on me, I swear to God, I kick your ass back to life, 562 00:51:53,800 --> 00:51:55,879 just so I could cut your goddamn head off. 563 00:51:55,880 --> 00:51:57,879 CROWD CHANTS 564 00:51:57,880 --> 00:51:59,189 Go on! 565 00:52:02,880 --> 00:52:04,679 I think we should let him speak. 566 00:52:04,680 --> 00:52:06,039 CHEERING 567 00:52:06,040 --> 00:52:10,039 (CROWD CHANTS) Speak! Speak! Speak! Speak! Speak! 568 00:52:11,960 --> 00:52:13,919 Let's hear what he has to say. 569 00:52:13,920 --> 00:52:17,313 CHEERING 570 00:52:17,868 --> 00:52:19,178 Well? 571 00:52:19,199 --> 00:52:20,557 Come on. 572 00:52:21,039 --> 00:52:23,538 Got our attention, as requested. 573 00:52:25,080 --> 00:52:26,386 What do you want to say? 574 00:52:30,480 --> 00:52:32,759 Have you prepared a speech, is that it? 575 00:52:34,732 --> 00:52:36,038 Speak! 576 00:52:36,043 --> 00:52:39,594 I haven't got a speech. I didn't plan words. I didn't even try to... 577 00:52:39,595 --> 00:52:43,149 I just knew I had to get here, to stand here, and I wanted you to listen. 578 00:52:43,150 --> 00:52:46,136 To really listen, not just pull a face like you're listening, 579 00:52:46,140 --> 00:52:47,811 like you do the rest of the time. 580 00:52:47,817 --> 00:52:50,440 A face that you're feeling instead of processing. 581 00:52:50,565 --> 00:52:53,239 You pull a face, and poke it towards the stage, 582 00:52:53,240 --> 00:52:57,635 and we lah-di-dah, we sing and dance and tumble around. 583 00:52:57,644 --> 00:53:00,198 And all you see up here, it's not people, 584 00:53:00,210 --> 00:53:02,719 you don't see people up here, it's all fodder. 585 00:53:02,720 --> 00:53:05,184 And the faker the fodder, the more you love it, 586 00:53:05,200 --> 00:53:07,879 because fake fodder's the only thing that works any more. 587 00:53:07,880 --> 00:53:10,439 It's all that we can stomach. Actually, not quite all. 588 00:53:10,440 --> 00:53:12,759 Real pain, real viciousness, that, we can take. 589 00:53:12,760 --> 00:53:14,396 Yeah, stick a fat man up a pole. 590 00:53:14,400 --> 00:53:17,319 We laugh ourselves feral, because we've earned the right, 591 00:53:17,320 --> 00:53:19,838 we've done cell time and he's slacking, the scum, 592 00:53:19,844 --> 00:53:21,067 so ha-ha-ha at him! 593 00:53:21,082 --> 00:53:23,687 Because we're so out of our minds with desperation, 594 00:53:23,688 --> 00:53:25,430 we don't know any better. 595 00:53:25,455 --> 00:53:27,919 All we know is fake fodder and buying shit. 596 00:53:27,920 --> 00:53:29,719 That's how we speak to each other, 597 00:53:29,720 --> 00:53:31,968 how we express ourselves, is buying shit. 598 00:53:31,992 --> 00:53:33,359 What, I have a dream? 599 00:53:33,360 --> 00:53:37,665 The peak of our dreams is a new app for our Dopple, it doesn't exist! 600 00:53:37,689 --> 00:53:39,079 It's not even there! 601 00:53:39,080 --> 00:53:40,839 We buy shit that's not even there. 602 00:53:40,840 --> 00:53:44,039 Show us something real and free and beautiful. You couldn't. 603 00:53:44,040 --> 00:53:45,519 Yeah? It'd break us. 604 00:53:45,520 --> 00:53:47,119 We're too numb for it. 605 00:53:47,120 --> 00:53:48,599 I might as well choke. 606 00:53:48,600 --> 00:53:50,639 It's only so much wonder we can bear. 607 00:53:50,640 --> 00:53:54,324 When you find any wonder whatsoever, you dole it out in meagre portions. 608 00:53:54,332 --> 00:53:56,667 Only then until it's augmented, packaged, and 609 00:53:56,679 --> 00:53:59,195 pumped through 10,000 preassigned filters 610 00:53:59,202 --> 00:54:02,239 till it's nothing more than a meaningless series of lights, 611 00:54:02,240 --> 00:54:05,639 while we ride day in day out, going where? 612 00:54:06,523 --> 00:54:07,841 Powering what? 613 00:54:08,381 --> 00:54:11,626 All tiny cells and tiny screens and bigger cells 614 00:54:11,634 --> 00:54:13,404 and bigger screens and fuck you! 615 00:54:13,607 --> 00:54:16,713 Fuck you, that's what it boils down to. 616 00:54:17,422 --> 00:54:20,959 Fuck you for sitting there and slowly making things worse. 617 00:54:21,084 --> 00:54:24,519 Fuck you and your spotlight and your sanctimonious faces. 618 00:54:24,520 --> 00:54:26,799 Fuck you all for thinking the one thing 619 00:54:26,800 --> 00:54:29,039 I came close to never meant anything. 620 00:54:29,752 --> 00:54:33,972 For oozing around it and crushing it into a bone, into a joke. 621 00:54:33,980 --> 00:54:37,439 One more ugly joke in a kingdom of millions. 622 00:54:37,954 --> 00:54:39,887 Fuck you for happening. 623 00:54:41,280 --> 00:54:44,355 Fuck you for me, for us, for everyone. 624 00:54:44,373 --> 00:54:45,679 Fuck you! 625 00:54:46,880 --> 00:54:49,637 (BREATHES HEAVILY) 626 00:55:07,675 --> 00:55:10,224 That was, without a doubt, 627 00:55:12,057 --> 00:55:15,912 the most heartfelt thing I've seen on this stage 628 00:55:16,445 --> 00:55:18,186 since Hotshot began! 629 00:55:18,560 --> 00:55:22,996 CHEERING 630 00:55:23,671 --> 00:55:24,978 Brilliant! 631 00:55:25,403 --> 00:55:26,624 You... 632 00:55:27,323 --> 00:55:30,359 you're so articulating something we all, 633 00:55:30,360 --> 00:55:33,035 and I mean everyone in this hall, 634 00:55:33,417 --> 00:55:35,479 something we all agree on. 635 00:55:35,954 --> 00:55:38,679 Even though we may not comprehend all of it. 636 00:55:39,165 --> 00:55:42,162 I think I'm right in saying we do feel it. 637 00:55:43,530 --> 00:55:44,835 Even me. 638 00:55:44,960 --> 00:55:47,475 I know you've got me down as this creature. 639 00:55:47,997 --> 00:55:49,850 You know, hey... 640 00:55:51,377 --> 00:55:53,554 I get where you're coming from. 641 00:55:53,857 --> 00:55:56,108 - I like your stuff. - It's not stuff. 642 00:55:56,133 --> 00:55:58,117 It's truth. Am I right? 643 00:56:00,179 --> 00:56:03,719 Your truth, admittedly, but truth nonetheless. 644 00:56:04,440 --> 00:56:05,750 And you're right. 645 00:56:06,046 --> 00:56:09,577 Authenticity is in woefully short supply. 646 00:56:11,821 --> 00:56:13,877 I'd like to hear you talk again. 647 00:56:17,280 --> 00:56:18,590 How so? 648 00:56:19,169 --> 00:56:21,656 The slot on one of my streams 649 00:56:22,638 --> 00:56:25,051 where you can talk just like that. 650 00:56:28,461 --> 00:56:31,409 I'd watch it. It was such great passion. 651 00:56:33,859 --> 00:56:37,180 He's a'right. You're a little hot there, bud. 652 00:56:37,941 --> 00:56:40,242 That throat cutting thing? Neat gimmick. 653 00:56:40,640 --> 00:56:41,958 What do you say? 654 00:56:42,720 --> 00:56:44,759 30 minutes twice a week? 655 00:56:44,760 --> 00:56:47,119 CHEERING 656 00:56:47,120 --> 00:56:51,660 (CROWD) Do it, do it, do it! Do it, do it, do it! 657 00:56:52,568 --> 00:56:57,107 Do it, do it, do it! Do it, do it, do it! 658 00:56:57,990 --> 00:57:02,239 Do it, do it, do it! 659 00:57:02,240 --> 00:57:03,919 Do it, do it, do it! 660 00:57:03,920 --> 00:57:05,639 Go on, you bastard. 661 00:57:05,640 --> 00:57:09,639 (CROWD) Do it, do it, do it! Do it, do it, do it! 662 00:57:11,013 --> 00:57:12,468 Beats the bike. 663 00:57:12,920 --> 00:57:14,333 Certainly does. 664 00:57:14,840 --> 00:57:19,855 CHANTING CONTINUES 665 00:57:30,400 --> 00:57:34,399 'We have with us Oliver. Oliver ate and ate 666 00:57:34,520 --> 00:57:38,399 'till he hit 17 stone and he's here today to try and beat us 667 00:57:38,716 --> 00:57:41,359 'on Botherguts! 668 00:57:42,607 --> 00:57:43,975 'Keep going.' 669 00:57:46,280 --> 00:57:49,555 ♪ They wept awhile 670 00:57:50,404 --> 00:57:53,679 ♪ Putting through the darkness... ♪ 671 00:57:53,840 --> 00:57:59,155 OK, I'm going to stop you there. That was achingly terrible. 672 00:57:59,280 --> 00:58:03,279 You have the magnetism of a towel. I don't ever want to look at you again. 673 00:58:03,840 --> 00:58:06,879 I have to agree. I'm so sorry, love. 674 00:58:07,144 --> 00:58:10,427 You came across as fundamentally unlikeable 675 00:58:10,452 --> 00:58:12,919 and really quite worthless. 676 00:58:13,942 --> 00:58:17,475 You could fill that pussy with honey and I still wouldn't fuck it. 677 00:58:17,600 --> 00:58:20,746 I'm a good singer. I can sing, yeah. 678 00:58:20,871 --> 00:58:22,639 Cos this is my destiny 679 00:58:22,867 --> 00:58:24,794 and I can sing, fu...! 680 00:58:28,120 --> 00:58:30,081 'Like that, don't you, Harry? 681 00:58:30,922 --> 00:58:32,239 'Ah-huh. 682 00:58:32,240 --> 00:58:33,599 'Say it. 683 00:58:34,213 --> 00:58:35,518 'Yeah. 684 00:58:35,760 --> 00:58:36,999 (LAUGHS) 685 00:58:37,000 --> 00:58:40,999 '15,000 new wardrobe options 686 00:58:41,086 --> 00:58:42,723 'launched last week alone. 687 00:58:43,612 --> 00:58:47,599 'It effectively translates as 15,000 new ways to kill time 688 00:58:47,724 --> 00:58:50,279 'in your cell before you explore an afterlife 689 00:58:50,280 --> 00:58:52,024 'which doesn't exist anyway. 690 00:58:52,385 --> 00:58:55,864 'With any luck, it'll take your mind off those saddle sores, eh? 691 00:58:57,080 --> 00:59:01,079 'You know the only thing stopping me from slashing myself open right now? 692 00:59:03,189 --> 00:59:05,104 'I might not die right away. 693 00:59:05,116 --> 00:59:07,294 'And before I went, they'd find a way 694 00:59:07,302 --> 00:59:09,479 'to charge my twitching half-dead cadaver, 695 00:59:09,480 --> 00:59:12,437 '20,000 merits for swabbing the walls clean.' 696 00:59:12,438 --> 00:59:13,748 - Yeah. - Anyway, 697 00:59:14,956 --> 00:59:16,398 'hang on in there 698 00:59:16,710 --> 00:59:18,011 if you must. 699 00:59:24,120 --> 00:59:26,399 'We're all in this together they say. 700 00:59:26,400 --> 00:59:27,711 'Yeah, right. 701 00:59:30,080 --> 00:59:31,488 'Farewell for ever. 702 00:59:34,200 --> 00:59:35,906 'Till the same time next week.' 703 00:59:38,306 --> 00:59:39,612 BEEPING 704 00:59:40,244 --> 00:59:41,553 Stream off-line. 705 01:00:16,660 --> 01:00:17,965 ♪ Anyone 706 01:00:20,395 --> 01:00:21,787 ♪ Anyone 707 01:00:24,120 --> 01:00:25,433 ♪ Anyone 708 01:00:28,206 --> 01:00:29,524 ♪ Anyone 709 01:00:31,503 --> 01:00:34,089 ♪ You can blame me 710 01:00:35,271 --> 01:00:37,807 ♪ Try to shame me 711 01:00:37,932 --> 01:00:42,439 ♪ And still I'll care for you 712 01:00:46,920 --> 01:00:49,222 ♪ You can run around 713 01:00:50,926 --> 01:00:53,413 ♪ Even put me down 714 01:00:53,762 --> 01:00:57,879 ♪ Still I'll be there for you 715 01:01:02,800 --> 01:01:08,598 ♪ The world may think I'm foolish 716 01:01:08,959 --> 01:01:11,826 ♪ They can't see you 717 01:01:12,980 --> 01:01:15,927 ♪ Like I can 718 01:01:16,520 --> 01:01:23,897 ♪ Oh, but anyone who knows what love is 719 01:01:25,360 --> 01:01:30,225 ♪ Will understand 720 01:01:33,838 --> 01:01:35,280 ♪ Anyone 721 01:01:37,748 --> 01:01:39,277 ♪ Anyone 722 01:01:39,737 --> 01:01:43,804 ♪ Oh, they'll understand 723 01:01:45,640 --> 01:01:46,950 ♪ Anyone 724 01:01:46,963 --> 01:01:51,490 ♪ If they try love they'll understand... ♪