1
00:00:37,534 --> 00:00:38,569
Hmph.
2
00:00:43,841 --> 00:00:45,507
Welcome to zombieland.
3
00:00:47,679 --> 00:00:50,479
Back for seconds?
After all this time?
4
00:00:50,481 --> 00:00:52,214
Well, what can I say,
but thank you.
5
00:00:52,216 --> 00:00:53,683
You have a lot of choices
6
00:00:53,685 --> 00:00:55,552
when it comes to
zombie entertainment,
7
00:00:55,554 --> 00:00:57,187
and we appreciate
you picking us.
8
00:00:57,189 --> 00:00:58,653
So you know how eskimos
9
00:00:58,655 --> 00:01:00,690
have a bunch of words for snow?
10
00:01:04,462 --> 00:01:07,062
The only reason we've survived
the last several years
11
00:01:07,064 --> 00:01:09,464
is we've gotten to know
our bloodthirsty enemies
12
00:01:09,466 --> 00:01:11,001
better than we know ourselves.
13
00:01:11,003 --> 00:01:12,734
In the time since
we last saw you,
14
00:01:12,736 --> 00:01:14,470
zombies have evolved,
15
00:01:14,472 --> 00:01:16,204
so we've given them
different names.
16
00:01:17,608 --> 00:01:19,374
This lady here
is getting chased
17
00:01:19,376 --> 00:01:22,544
by the dumbest z there is,
what we call a homer.
18
00:01:25,450 --> 00:01:26,948
In a world without YouTube,
19
00:01:26,950 --> 00:01:28,585
who isn't entertained
by a homer?
20
00:01:31,923 --> 00:01:32,923
D'oh!
21
00:01:43,066 --> 00:01:45,434
Unfortunately, for every homer,
22
00:01:45,436 --> 00:01:48,737
there's a Hawking,
as in Stephen.
23
00:01:48,739 --> 00:01:51,574
Or maybe his slightly less
accomplished sister, beatrix,
24
00:01:51,576 --> 00:01:53,609
who's still got some brains
left to figure shit out.
25
00:01:53,611 --> 00:01:54,642
Open, open!
26
00:02:17,367 --> 00:02:18,466
Clever girl.
27
00:02:20,771 --> 00:02:22,339
Okay. Last one.
28
00:02:22,341 --> 00:02:24,176
Whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa,
what was that?
29
00:02:25,610 --> 00:02:27,243
Okay, all right.
Well, this time,
30
00:02:27,245 --> 00:02:29,313
let's play name that zombie.
31
00:02:30,414 --> 00:02:31,414
Hello?
32
00:02:34,151 --> 00:02:35,186
Hello?
33
00:02:41,158 --> 00:02:44,125
The ninja. Silent, deadly.
34
00:02:44,127 --> 00:02:46,596
The first thing you hear
is your own scream.
35
00:02:54,438 --> 00:02:59,142
You can imagine how thrilled we
were to crack the zombie code.
36
00:02:59,144 --> 00:03:03,144
But life is about more
than just survival.
37
00:03:03,146 --> 00:03:05,748
Ever since we were evicted
from our normal lives,
38
00:03:05,750 --> 00:03:09,351
I'd been searching for a place
to put down roots.
39
00:03:09,353 --> 00:03:14,290
My old pal Tallahassee has this
saying, "go big or go home."
40
00:03:14,292 --> 00:03:17,628
It's not his signature phrase,
but it did give me an idea.
41
00:03:18,695 --> 00:03:20,032
Why not go big...
42
00:03:21,132 --> 00:03:22,465
And go home?
43
00:05:02,733 --> 00:05:06,168
Hail to
the motherfucking chief.
44
00:05:07,639 --> 00:05:09,238
There are worse places
45
00:05:09,240 --> 00:05:10,606
to hang your hat.
46
00:05:10,608 --> 00:05:12,442
Casa blanca.
47
00:05:12,444 --> 00:05:15,243
Wait, why does he get
to be president?
48
00:05:15,245 --> 00:05:17,647
I would have made
a damn fine president.
49
00:05:17,649 --> 00:05:19,949
Kissed a few hands,
shook a few babies.
50
00:05:19,951 --> 00:05:22,551
You would have brought
a real dignity to the office.
51
00:05:22,553 --> 00:05:24,486
- Thank you.
- You don't have what it takes.
52
00:05:24,488 --> 00:05:25,921
- I'll be president.
- Heh!
53
00:05:25,923 --> 00:05:28,156
And I nominate little rock
as my vp.
54
00:05:28,158 --> 00:05:30,125
So that means
I get to be president
55
00:05:30,127 --> 00:05:31,695
if you get killed by zombies.
56
00:05:31,697 --> 00:05:33,361
That wasn't
what I was thinking
57
00:05:33,363 --> 00:05:35,932
when I offered you
the position, but yes.
58
00:05:37,168 --> 00:05:38,500
I have this rule:
59
00:05:38,502 --> 00:05:40,135
Enjoy the little things.
60
00:05:40,137 --> 00:05:42,236
Which is what we spent
a lot of time doing
61
00:05:42,238 --> 00:05:44,139
in those early days
at the white house.
62
00:05:44,141 --> 00:05:45,774
And it was a really
special time,
63
00:05:45,776 --> 00:05:47,343
making a house our home.
64
00:05:52,817 --> 00:05:56,185
Shooting up, not to.
All right. Nice!
65
00:05:59,790 --> 00:06:03,358
Wichita and I fell into
our own version of domestic bliss.
66
00:06:03,360 --> 00:06:07,464
Well, not quite bliss,
but domesticity to be sure.
67
00:06:07,466 --> 00:06:09,197
Did Abe's blindfold
fall off again?
68
00:06:09,199 --> 00:06:11,233
No, it did not fall off.
I took it off.
69
00:06:11,235 --> 00:06:13,502
It's so creepy.
He stares at us all night.
70
00:06:13,504 --> 00:06:15,370
That stare emancipated
the slaves,
71
00:06:15,372 --> 00:06:16,873
and ended the civil war.
72
00:06:16,875 --> 00:06:18,875
We should be grateful
he's gawking at us.
73
00:06:18,877 --> 00:06:21,543
Remember what happened the last
time you took the blindfold off?
74
00:06:21,545 --> 00:06:23,646
You made me sleep
on the Lincoln couch?
75
00:06:23,648 --> 00:06:25,016
Mm-hm.
76
00:06:31,255 --> 00:06:32,721
- Is that better?
- Much better.
77
00:06:32,723 --> 00:06:34,188
Good.
78
00:06:34,190 --> 00:06:37,026
I love you so much, baby.
79
00:06:37,028 --> 00:06:40,695
You are so gorgeous.
80
00:06:40,697 --> 00:06:42,865
We really need
to find you someone.
81
00:06:42,867 --> 00:06:44,666
That's where you're wrong.
82
00:06:44,668 --> 00:06:47,570
Any romance left in me
belongs to the beast here.
83
00:06:47,572 --> 00:06:50,875
Okay. Well, then we need
to find someone for me.
84
00:06:52,377 --> 00:06:55,144
Heh, heh, heh,
shouldn't be a problem,
85
00:06:55,146 --> 00:06:57,180
long as you're open
to dating zombies.
86
00:06:57,182 --> 00:07:00,349
So you're saying what? I'm
never gonna find a boyfriend,
87
00:07:00,351 --> 00:07:02,551
or get married, have a family?
88
00:07:02,553 --> 00:07:07,423
We're you family, so one
out of three ain't bad.
89
00:07:07,425 --> 00:07:10,392
Little rock had a
strong desire to leave the nest.
90
00:07:10,394 --> 00:07:12,127
And let's just say Tallahassee
91
00:07:12,129 --> 00:07:14,363
wasn't the most understanding
father figure.
92
00:07:14,365 --> 00:07:15,664
Little rock!
93
00:07:15,666 --> 00:07:17,098
But for better or worse,
94
00:07:17,100 --> 00:07:18,567
we were a family.
95
00:07:18,569 --> 00:07:20,502
And for the first time
since the virus,
96
00:07:20,504 --> 00:07:22,437
we were living somewhere
truly safe,
97
00:07:22,439 --> 00:07:25,610
making every day feel like...
Well, like Christmas morning.
98
00:07:26,911 --> 00:07:29,648
Hello? Ho-ho-ho!
99
00:07:30,747 --> 00:07:32,315
Merry Christmas!
100
00:07:32,317 --> 00:07:34,983
- Hey, tal.
- Santa.
101
00:07:34,985 --> 00:07:37,887
What would you like for
Christmas, little girl? A pony?
102
00:07:37,889 --> 00:07:40,723
I'd like you to stop calling me
"little girl."
103
00:07:40,725 --> 00:07:43,959
Well, technically, you are
little and you're a girl.
104
00:07:43,961 --> 00:07:47,762
I am not a little girl, but
do you know what I would like?
105
00:07:47,764 --> 00:07:50,033
I don't give a fuck
what you'd like.
106
00:07:50,035 --> 00:07:52,101
Not to
sound too sentimental,
107
00:07:52,103 --> 00:07:54,769
but those days
at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
108
00:07:54,771 --> 00:07:57,039
may have been the best days
of my life,
109
00:07:57,041 --> 00:07:58,776
and that's counting pre-z.
110
00:08:00,778 --> 00:08:02,745
Wait a second.
111
00:08:02,747 --> 00:08:05,113
Oh, my god. No.
112
00:08:05,115 --> 00:08:08,617
A first-edition tolkien,
and you wrote in it.
113
00:08:08,619 --> 00:08:11,753
There's my name, marring this
perfectly preserved paper.
114
00:08:11,755 --> 00:08:13,421
Thank you. And yours too.
115
00:08:13,423 --> 00:08:16,593
You didn't stop.
Thank you so much.
116
00:08:16,595 --> 00:08:18,627
It's a bit touching.
117
00:08:18,629 --> 00:08:21,096
Hey, you know, I couldn't
find any wrapping paper,
118
00:08:21,098 --> 00:08:23,332
but don't worry about it.
Just tear it open.
119
00:08:23,334 --> 00:08:25,968
It doesn't matter.
It's only taft.
120
00:08:25,970 --> 00:08:29,404
He was our fattest president,
so there's a lot left over
121
00:08:29,406 --> 00:08:31,406
if you need some wrapping paper.
122
00:08:31,408 --> 00:08:33,711
Columbus, I didn't get
anything from you.
123
00:08:35,113 --> 00:08:37,879
Just what I wanted.
Another gun.
124
00:08:37,881 --> 00:08:42,017
Oh, hey, well, not just any gun.
A Colt .45.
125
00:08:42,019 --> 00:08:45,854
And not just any Colt .45.
The king's.
126
00:08:45,856 --> 00:08:49,992
- England? Denmark? Lichtenstein?
- There's only one king.
127
00:08:49,994 --> 00:08:54,032
Elvis Aaron fucking Presley,
the greatest who ever lived.
128
00:08:55,065 --> 00:08:56,799
The king of kings.
129
00:08:56,801 --> 00:08:59,969
He gave this gun to Nixon
when he visited the white house,
130
00:08:59,971 --> 00:09:03,940
and I give it to you,
locked and loaded.
131
00:09:03,942 --> 00:09:07,376
Yeah, he used to shoot
that Colt in his backyard.
132
00:09:07,378 --> 00:09:09,310
King's palace,
Memphis, Tennessee.
133
00:09:09,312 --> 00:09:11,781
- I tell you about Graceland?
- Only a hundred times.
134
00:09:11,783 --> 00:09:13,516
We'll go there
together someday.
135
00:09:13,518 --> 00:09:15,785
Actually, I'm gonna go
shoot this right now.
136
00:09:15,787 --> 00:09:18,988
I think I saw some zs
down by the reflecting pool.
137
00:09:18,990 --> 00:09:20,723
- I'll go with.
- I'll go by myself.
138
00:09:20,725 --> 00:09:23,325
- It's Christmas.
- It's not fucking Christmas.
139
00:09:23,327 --> 00:09:24,361
It's November 17th.
140
00:09:26,363 --> 00:09:28,730
Little rock was on the
hunt, all right,
141
00:09:28,732 --> 00:09:30,299
for people her own age.
142
00:09:30,301 --> 00:09:32,167
And the thing is,
they were out there.
143
00:09:32,169 --> 00:09:34,536
We just made it a point
to keep our distance.
144
00:09:34,538 --> 00:09:37,207
Which would suck if you
were the one stuck in the nest.
145
00:09:39,677 --> 00:09:44,613
God, this is really terrifying,
but totally unrealistic.
146
00:09:44,615 --> 00:09:46,181
Hm...
147
00:09:46,183 --> 00:09:47,384
Hey, she'll be fine.
148
00:09:49,019 --> 00:09:51,587
Wish she didn't remind me
so much of me.
149
00:09:51,589 --> 00:09:53,355
Hey, come on.
What's wrong with you?
150
00:09:55,559 --> 00:09:56,594
Nothing.
151
00:09:58,296 --> 00:10:00,565
All right.
I wasn't gonna do this now.
152
00:10:03,567 --> 00:10:08,337
Okay. Look, you always say that,
like, I play it too safe,
153
00:10:08,339 --> 00:10:11,573
and I know we've been in,
like, a bit of a rut lately.
154
00:10:11,575 --> 00:10:15,914
So I thought, what better way
to spice things up than to...
155
00:10:20,583 --> 00:10:22,283
Get married?
156
00:10:22,285 --> 00:10:24,853
Yeah, well, I was gonna
say, "get married!" Yay!
157
00:10:24,855 --> 00:10:27,723
- Is that the hope diamond?
- I certainly hope it is.
158
00:10:27,725 --> 00:10:30,258
I want you to be miss Ohio.
Or I guess Mrs. Ohio.
159
00:10:30,260 --> 00:10:32,627
This is unfair.
You know how I feel about this.
160
00:10:32,629 --> 00:10:34,262
- What?
- We've talked about this.
161
00:10:34,264 --> 00:10:37,300
In my limited, but absurdly
painful experience,
162
00:10:37,302 --> 00:10:39,434
married people only do
one thing.
163
00:10:39,436 --> 00:10:42,304
- What, fight? We already do that.
- Get divorced.
164
00:10:42,306 --> 00:10:44,073
I don't see us going that route.
165
00:10:44,075 --> 00:10:46,241
I mean, where would
we find the lawyers?
166
00:10:46,243 --> 00:10:51,280
- I don't know what to say.
- Well, don't say anything. Yet.
167
00:10:51,282 --> 00:10:54,650
- Okay? This was my fault.
- I put you on the spot.
168
00:10:54,652 --> 00:10:58,185
Just think about it, and let me
know whenever you're ready.
169
00:10:58,187 --> 00:11:01,225
Everything will work out
exactly as it's supposed to.
170
00:11:17,274 --> 00:11:19,175
Hey, buttercup. What's wrong?
171
00:11:19,177 --> 00:11:21,810
Get a little too much eggnog
last night?
172
00:11:21,812 --> 00:11:24,412
- Bad news.
- Bad news?
173
00:11:24,414 --> 00:11:27,849
Well, you know what cancels out
bad news? Good news.
174
00:11:27,851 --> 00:11:30,084
Today is the day
that Wichita says...
175
00:11:30,086 --> 00:11:31,487
Adios.
176
00:11:31,489 --> 00:11:32,524
Hm?
177
00:11:35,793 --> 00:11:40,296
"Dear c and t, we feel
like total shit about leaving.
178
00:11:40,298 --> 00:11:42,500
Sorry, not good at notes.
W and lr."
179
00:11:43,967 --> 00:11:45,901
Well, yeah.
"Not good at notes"
180
00:11:45,903 --> 00:11:47,839
is a pretty huge understatement.
181
00:11:49,541 --> 00:11:52,007
He's gonna take
this beast thing pretty hard.
182
00:11:52,009 --> 00:11:55,243
Well, he should learn
to not get so attached.
183
00:11:55,245 --> 00:11:57,046
Never get attached.
Remember?
184
00:11:57,048 --> 00:11:58,747
That was the problem
with Columbus,
185
00:11:58,749 --> 00:11:59,982
he got too attached.
186
00:11:59,984 --> 00:12:01,584
Well, with Tallahassee,
it's like
187
00:12:01,586 --> 00:12:03,151
- he thinks he's my dad.
- Sure.
188
00:12:03,153 --> 00:12:05,353
But you are lucky
you don't have a boyfriend.
189
00:12:05,355 --> 00:12:07,489
Have you seen him
use q-tips?
190
00:12:07,491 --> 00:12:10,157
His bedtime routine
took an hour.
191
00:12:10,159 --> 00:12:12,027
- Stop.
- What? God, sorry.
192
00:12:12,029 --> 00:12:14,296
- No, stop! Stop!
- Oh!
193
00:12:20,638 --> 00:12:21,638
Namaste.
194
00:12:24,375 --> 00:12:25,375
Hi.
195
00:12:28,144 --> 00:12:31,412
Wichita leaving
hit me like a shotgun blast.
196
00:12:31,414 --> 00:12:33,982
So after weeks of feeling sorry
for myself,
197
00:12:33,984 --> 00:12:35,651
I thought a little
retail therapy
198
00:12:35,653 --> 00:12:37,185
might help get her
off my mind.
199
00:12:37,187 --> 00:12:39,153
It's not like
I wanted to start,
200
00:12:39,155 --> 00:12:41,891
wedding planning or anything.
I'm not crazy.
201
00:12:41,893 --> 00:12:44,459
Who wants to get married
in winter? Spring, sure.
202
00:12:44,461 --> 00:12:46,862
- Though my hair and humidity...
- Oh, my god!
203
00:12:46,864 --> 00:12:49,931
Man, I cannot listen
to this shit anymore.
204
00:12:49,933 --> 00:12:53,134
- My god, it's been over a month.
- Yeah, I'm bereft.
205
00:12:53,136 --> 00:12:56,238
Okay, I'm giving you
one more day to mope around,
206
00:12:56,240 --> 00:12:59,142
and then you gotta snap
the fuck out of it.
207
00:12:59,144 --> 00:13:03,145
This whole "finding a home" idea
of yours has made us soft.
208
00:13:03,147 --> 00:13:05,448
And by us, I mean you.
209
00:13:05,450 --> 00:13:08,416
It's high time that we nut up
and hit the road again.
210
00:13:08,418 --> 00:13:09,550
And by we, I mean me.
211
00:13:09,552 --> 00:13:10,819
That's where I belong.
212
00:13:10,821 --> 00:13:13,089
On my own. Lone wolf.
213
00:13:13,091 --> 00:13:15,757
- You're welcome to tag along.
- But when they come back,
214
00:13:15,759 --> 00:13:17,926
- we won't be here.
- They're never coming back!
215
00:13:22,265 --> 00:13:23,364
I got it.
216
00:13:23,366 --> 00:13:26,133
No, no, no, no, no, no.
217
00:13:26,135 --> 00:13:27,905
Okay. Uh...
218
00:13:32,942 --> 00:13:35,411
It was good. You shot
your alcohol with your gun.
219
00:13:48,993 --> 00:13:50,258
Not bad, huh?
220
00:13:50,260 --> 00:13:54,363
Hm, no. Not bad,
but definitely no zkoty.
221
00:13:54,365 --> 00:13:57,999
Zkoty,
that is "zombie kill of the year."
222
00:13:58,001 --> 00:14:00,368
Like a junkie in search
of a higher high,
223
00:14:00,370 --> 00:14:03,338
Tallahassee is no longer happy
with zombie kill of the week.
224
00:14:03,340 --> 00:14:05,107
Which, if you're keeping score,
225
00:14:05,109 --> 00:14:07,443
just went to Dave sanderman
of riverside, Iowa.
226
00:14:07,445 --> 00:14:09,877
You may wanna set down
the milk duds for this one.
227
00:14:09,879 --> 00:14:11,213
You dead, zombie!
228
00:14:13,951 --> 00:14:15,316
Whoo-whee, pig!
229
00:14:18,188 --> 00:14:20,289
Congratulations, Dave.
230
00:14:20,291 --> 00:14:21,956
I never told you this before.
231
00:14:21,958 --> 00:14:24,326
In fact, I never told anybody.
232
00:14:24,328 --> 00:14:30,932
But I have native American blood
coursing through my veins.
233
00:14:30,934 --> 00:14:35,369
- Like, right now?
- Yeah. Right now.
234
00:14:35,371 --> 00:14:40,142
Blackfoot Indian to be exact.
The freest men in history.
235
00:14:40,144 --> 00:14:42,810
Mid-1800s, roamed the plains,
236
00:14:42,812 --> 00:14:46,147
no houses, no laws,
no possessions,
237
00:14:46,149 --> 00:14:49,852
no chiefs to report to,
no wives to listen to.
238
00:14:49,854 --> 00:14:50,955
They listened...
239
00:14:52,255 --> 00:14:54,256
To the call of the buffalo.
240
00:14:55,491 --> 00:14:57,025
And they hunted
those buffalo
241
00:14:57,027 --> 00:15:02,432
by herding them off the cliff
to their deaths.
242
00:15:03,833 --> 00:15:08,737
- The great buffalo jump.
- Whoa.
243
00:15:08,739 --> 00:15:12,607
I don't know why I never told
anyone about my blackfoot blood.
244
00:15:12,609 --> 00:15:15,344
I guess it's
a sacred little secret.
245
00:15:15,346 --> 00:15:18,046
Honestly, you're
the first paleface
246
00:15:18,048 --> 00:15:19,881
I have genuinely trusted
247
00:15:19,883 --> 00:15:22,050
because you've always
been there for me.
248
00:15:22,052 --> 00:15:24,518
You care and you listen.
You really listen...
249
00:15:24,520 --> 00:15:26,421
Unless
you're in a 4d theater,
250
00:15:26,423 --> 00:15:28,656
there is no way
I can communicate
251
00:15:28,658 --> 00:15:30,092
how bad z-land smells,
252
00:15:30,094 --> 00:15:32,527
which is why I like candles
so much.
253
00:15:32,529 --> 00:15:34,530
Today, maybe
a frosty gingerbread
254
00:15:34,532 --> 00:15:36,098
or a bahama breeze.
255
00:15:36,100 --> 00:15:37,398
Mmm.
256
00:15:38,501 --> 00:15:40,002
Whoa!
257
00:15:40,004 --> 00:15:43,438
Oh, my god! Please forgive me.
It's fake fur!
258
00:15:43,440 --> 00:15:45,773
Oh, god. I'm so sorry.
I thought you were a...
259
00:15:45,775 --> 00:15:47,943
- You thought I was a zombie?
- Yeah. Of course.
260
00:15:47,945 --> 00:15:49,811
Oh, my god, no.
I don't even eat meat.
261
00:15:49,813 --> 00:15:52,815
I'm a vegetarian.
Vegan, actually. Heh.
262
00:15:52,817 --> 00:15:56,618
- Sorry. Hi, I'm Columbus.
- Madison. Heh-heh.
263
00:15:56,620 --> 00:15:59,087
- Oh, hi. Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.
264
00:15:59,089 --> 00:16:01,757
All right. We're hugging.
So soon. Nice to meet you.
265
00:16:01,759 --> 00:16:04,126
It's nice
to touch a human.
266
00:16:04,128 --> 00:16:05,594
- Don't mind me.
- Oh, hello.
267
00:16:05,596 --> 00:16:07,329
If I can have my body?
Hi, sorry.
268
00:16:07,331 --> 00:16:09,164
This is Tallahassee.
This is Madison.
269
00:16:09,166 --> 00:16:11,934
- Madison, Tallahassee.
- Is this your dad?
270
00:16:11,936 --> 00:16:16,405
For shit's sake, slightly older,
better-looking friend.
271
00:16:16,407 --> 00:16:18,672
- Ha, ha, cute.
- You live here?
272
00:16:18,674 --> 00:16:23,112
No, Paul blart. I live in the
freezer in pinkberry, mm-hm.
273
00:16:23,114 --> 00:16:26,381
It keeps the zombies out,
though it is awfully chilly.
274
00:16:27,618 --> 00:16:29,951
Do you ever consider
turning it off?
275
00:16:29,953 --> 00:16:32,121
Couldn't find the switch
anywhere.
276
00:16:32,123 --> 00:16:34,222
Just hoping the electricity
would run out.
277
00:16:34,224 --> 00:16:37,292
It's amazing. As long as it
rains, the dams give us power.
278
00:16:37,294 --> 00:16:38,862
Apparently not brain power.
279
00:16:41,264 --> 00:16:43,165
I feel like
you're being super judgy.
280
00:16:43,167 --> 00:16:47,169
Like, I'm getting
a real anti-me vibe off of you.
281
00:16:47,171 --> 00:16:49,137
- Are you?
- Oh, my god. There it was again.
282
00:16:49,139 --> 00:16:51,305
- Yeah, I saw it.
- And that's hurtful, okay?
283
00:16:51,307 --> 00:16:53,507
I'm, like, really good
at surviving.
284
00:16:53,509 --> 00:16:55,877
I carry a can of mace
with me everywhere I go.
285
00:16:55,879 --> 00:16:58,379
And I can run really, really,
really, really fast.
286
00:16:58,381 --> 00:17:01,117
Probably because I used to do
hot yoga and soulcycle.
287
00:17:01,119 --> 00:17:04,286
Cardio! Sorry, I do
a lot of cardio too.
288
00:17:04,288 --> 00:17:07,622
It's actually my number one
rule, which is so dorky.
289
00:17:07,624 --> 00:17:10,292
But I have a list of rules
for surviving zombieland.
290
00:17:10,294 --> 00:17:11,326
- Really?
- Yeah.
291
00:17:11,328 --> 00:17:13,194
- So do I!
- You have rules
292
00:17:13,196 --> 00:17:15,529
- for surviving zombieland?
- Mine is just mostly
293
00:17:15,531 --> 00:17:17,298
- stay in the freezer.
- Oh.
294
00:17:18,536 --> 00:17:20,134
You know, we set up camp,
295
00:17:20,136 --> 00:17:22,136
like, down the road
at the white house.
296
00:17:23,473 --> 00:17:25,007
The white house?
Oh, my god.
297
00:17:25,009 --> 00:17:26,540
Would you wanna come hang out?
298
00:17:26,542 --> 00:17:28,344
- I would love that.
- Cool.
299
00:17:28,346 --> 00:17:30,312
Okay. How many rules
do you have?
300
00:17:30,314 --> 00:17:33,448
- You wanna know about my rules?
- I wanna hear all of them.
301
00:17:33,450 --> 00:17:36,785
- Well, number two is double tap.
- Double tap.
302
00:17:36,787 --> 00:17:39,688
- Double tap, yes.
- Double tap you.
303
00:17:39,690 --> 00:17:42,391
- You got me. I'm murdered.
- Ha-ha-ha.
304
00:17:42,393 --> 00:17:44,825
Okay, yeah,
I know what you're thinking.
305
00:17:44,827 --> 00:17:46,562
She's absolutely not my type.
306
00:17:46,564 --> 00:17:48,462
But after Wichita
broke my heart,
307
00:17:48,464 --> 00:17:50,466
I was just excited
to talk to somebody
308
00:17:50,468 --> 00:17:53,369
who smelled like a candle,
and not whiskey and gunpowder.
309
00:17:53,371 --> 00:17:55,036
So Wichita and
little rock left.
310
00:17:55,038 --> 00:17:57,538
It was just us guys again.
You know, bachelors.
311
00:17:57,540 --> 00:18:00,107
This guy. You know,
making a mess.
312
00:18:00,109 --> 00:18:04,613
Which actually brings me
to rule number 53, wet-naps.
313
00:18:04,615 --> 00:18:06,449
- Wow.
- Yeah.
314
00:18:06,451 --> 00:18:10,384
I can't believe that you keep
all this stuff in your head.
315
00:18:10,386 --> 00:18:11,452
Heh, thank you.
316
00:18:11,454 --> 00:18:13,122
- It's amazing.
- Thank you.
317
00:18:13,124 --> 00:18:15,523
- You know, you're really lucky.
- What?
318
00:18:15,525 --> 00:18:19,527
That you found someone so smart
to take care of you.
319
00:18:19,529 --> 00:18:22,965
Most people your age,
they get left all by themselves,
320
00:18:22,967 --> 00:18:25,100
and that can be so sad.
321
00:18:25,102 --> 00:18:28,569
- Yeah. I am so lucky.
- Oh!
322
00:18:30,173 --> 00:18:32,607
Can we have a little summit
in the oval office?
323
00:18:32,609 --> 00:18:33,674
Yeah, sure.
324
00:18:33,676 --> 00:18:35,410
You guys, I can't believe
325
00:18:35,412 --> 00:18:39,180
we're in the white house.
This is soy random.
326
00:18:39,182 --> 00:18:42,183
You got to broom this girl.
You know why she's still alive?
327
00:18:42,185 --> 00:18:45,421
Because zombies eat brains,
and she ain't got any!
328
00:18:45,423 --> 00:18:46,955
All right? It doesn't matter
329
00:18:46,957 --> 00:18:49,091
because I'm hitting
the road come sunup.
330
00:18:49,093 --> 00:18:50,691
- Columbus?
- Yes?
331
00:18:50,693 --> 00:18:52,460
Could you maybe give me a tour?
332
00:18:52,462 --> 00:18:55,930
Whoa, this is the oval office.
333
00:18:55,932 --> 00:18:57,732
Why do they call it that?
334
00:19:00,671 --> 00:19:01,902
- You ready?
- You ready?
335
00:19:01,904 --> 00:19:03,304
- I'm ready too.
- I'm ready.
336
00:19:03,306 --> 00:19:04,306
- Great.
- Too.
337
00:19:06,676 --> 00:19:08,177
- Let's go.
- He's kind of funny.
338
00:19:08,179 --> 00:19:10,278
Yeah, he's great.
Try not to speak to him.
339
00:19:10,280 --> 00:19:11,479
Okay.
340
00:19:11,481 --> 00:19:13,515
The main attraction.
341
00:19:13,517 --> 00:19:15,150
Ta-da, the Lincoln bedroom.
342
00:19:15,152 --> 00:19:17,585
Believe it or not,
Lincoln never even slept here.
343
00:19:17,587 --> 00:19:20,154
I didn't actually
want a tour, silly.
344
00:19:20,156 --> 00:19:21,856
- What? Oh.
- Hi.
345
00:19:21,858 --> 00:19:23,158
Hi.
346
00:19:23,160 --> 00:19:24,426
Mm-mm, mm-mm.
347
00:19:24,428 --> 00:19:26,861
- What's the matter?
- I don't know.
348
00:19:26,863 --> 00:19:29,731
- Don't you think that I'm pretty?
- Yes, you're very pretty.
349
00:19:29,733 --> 00:19:32,601
You're like, "girl
in apartment 406" pretty.
350
00:19:32,603 --> 00:19:34,835
I just... I feel
kind of guilty.
351
00:19:34,837 --> 00:19:37,439
Because of Jesus?
352
00:19:37,441 --> 00:19:39,043
I know ways around that.
353
00:19:43,247 --> 00:19:46,113
- No, no. I... please. I can't.
- Okay, look,
354
00:19:46,115 --> 00:19:48,016
I've been alone in a freezer
for years.
355
00:19:48,018 --> 00:19:49,852
So either we're doing
this right now,
356
00:19:49,854 --> 00:19:53,788
or I am biting the bullet,
and I am doing the old guy.
357
00:19:53,790 --> 00:19:54,790
Okay.
358
00:19:55,959 --> 00:19:58,192
God! You're so hot!
Oh my god!
359
00:19:58,194 --> 00:20:00,694
- It's the humidity.
- Oh, yes!
360
00:20:05,234 --> 00:20:06,269
Holy...
361
00:20:07,671 --> 00:20:11,140
Nutting up, definitely
not shutting up.
362
00:20:11,142 --> 00:20:13,344
Yeah!
363
00:20:27,156 --> 00:20:29,824
- Aah! Oh, shit!
- Oh! Whoa!
364
00:20:29,826 --> 00:20:32,326
Sorry, it's Washington's
old flintlock.
365
00:20:32,328 --> 00:20:35,028
It's a gift to eisenhower
from the emperor of Japan.
366
00:20:35,030 --> 00:20:36,230
Oh, touché.
367
00:20:36,232 --> 00:20:37,699
- I heard a strange noise.
- Yeah.
368
00:20:37,701 --> 00:20:39,834
I've been hearing
some strange noises too.
369
00:20:39,836 --> 00:20:42,069
Oh, yeah. That was us
having sex.
370
00:20:42,071 --> 00:20:44,538
Rule number one.
371
00:20:44,540 --> 00:20:47,875
Yeah, maybe rule number 32
for her.
372
00:20:47,877 --> 00:20:48,913
What? Hey.
373
00:20:50,247 --> 00:20:51,749
Okay. Ready?
374
00:20:53,182 --> 00:20:55,216
- Go!
- Okay, let's go. Come on.
375
00:20:55,218 --> 00:20:57,922
Oh, fuck. Shit.
376
00:20:59,990 --> 00:21:02,591
- Honey, I'm home.
- Oh, my god, you're back.
377
00:21:02,593 --> 00:21:04,793
I mean, you're back
or whatever. That's cool.
378
00:21:04,795 --> 00:21:06,795
I'm not staying.
I came to get weapons.
379
00:21:06,797 --> 00:21:08,029
At 1:00 in the morning?
380
00:21:08,031 --> 00:21:09,332
Yeah, after a month missing.
381
00:21:10,701 --> 00:21:12,734
Little rock's gone.
382
00:21:25,548 --> 00:21:28,917
It was great. It felt so good
to be on the move again.
383
00:21:28,919 --> 00:21:33,087
We've been having a really
good time here too. Together.
384
00:21:33,089 --> 00:21:36,725
We picked up someone new.
Just a boy.
385
00:21:36,727 --> 00:21:39,094
He's a couple years older
than little rock,
386
00:21:39,096 --> 00:21:40,295
and he's from Berkeley.
387
00:21:40,297 --> 00:21:42,363
- Berkeley?
- Mm-hm.
388
00:21:43,800 --> 00:21:45,767
- You said Berkeley?
- Yes.
389
00:21:45,769 --> 00:21:48,903
Berke-fucking-ley?
390
00:21:52,710 --> 00:21:54,075
Shut the fuck up right now!
391
00:21:54,077 --> 00:21:55,878
I know what you're about
to tell me.
392
00:21:55,880 --> 00:21:58,246
She's dating a musician!
393
00:21:58,248 --> 00:22:02,153
Come on, don't you think you're,
like, overreacting a little bit?
394
00:22:04,755 --> 00:22:07,823
Yeah. Yeah. No, I could be
overreacting.
395
00:22:07,825 --> 00:22:09,559
I'm... I'm sorry.
You're right.
396
00:22:10,961 --> 00:22:12,259
You go ahead.
397
00:22:12,261 --> 00:22:14,662
And he's a pacifist.
398
00:22:14,664 --> 00:22:17,099
He has survived
on a strict policy
399
00:22:17,101 --> 00:22:19,470
of conflict avoidance,
like Gandhi.
400
00:22:20,636 --> 00:22:23,971
No!
401
00:22:23,973 --> 00:22:25,640
No!
402
00:22:25,642 --> 00:22:29,044
Birkenstocks, sandals,
wheatgrass!
403
00:22:29,046 --> 00:22:31,278
Fucking basketballs!
404
00:22:39,757 --> 00:22:43,357
No, I really... I have
nothing against pacifists.
405
00:22:43,359 --> 00:22:47,161
I just wanna beat
the shit out of them.
406
00:22:55,772 --> 00:23:00,307
Wow, I mean...
You have a beautiful voice.
407
00:23:00,309 --> 00:23:03,177
- Thank you very much. Thank you.
- Yeah.
408
00:23:03,179 --> 00:23:07,681
Hey, have you ever heard
of this place, Graceland?
409
00:23:07,683 --> 00:23:10,885
Elvis was a fraud.
He ripped off the black man.
410
00:23:10,887 --> 00:23:15,524
Oh. I... I don't know. I've just
always wanted to go there.
411
00:23:15,526 --> 00:23:18,026
Yeah, me too. Yeah.
412
00:23:18,028 --> 00:23:23,164
- Graceland would be cool.
- Yeah. Yeah, it would be.
413
00:23:23,166 --> 00:23:25,199
I was adamant
it was a dumb idea,
414
00:23:25,201 --> 00:23:28,836
so I did what I never do
with her, I told her no.
415
00:23:28,838 --> 00:23:30,738
You can guess
what happened next.
416
00:23:35,211 --> 00:23:39,383
She left a note,
and then she hit the road.
417
00:23:44,688 --> 00:23:49,724
Does anyone else
get the irony in that? Huh?
418
00:23:49,726 --> 00:23:52,361
I'm so worried, you guys.
419
00:23:52,363 --> 00:23:53,929
They're traveling
all that way,
420
00:23:53,931 --> 00:23:55,830
and all they have
is a fucking guitar.
421
00:23:55,832 --> 00:23:58,566
Yeah, with no intention
of ever swinging it at anything.
422
00:23:58,568 --> 00:24:00,168
You know, because
he's a hippie.
423
00:24:00,170 --> 00:24:02,036
She's supposed to be
killing the dead,
424
00:24:02,038 --> 00:24:04,104
- not following them.
- Oh, god.
425
00:24:04,106 --> 00:24:06,039
There's something going on
out there.
426
00:24:06,041 --> 00:24:08,276
- What?
- Berkeley told us
427
00:24:08,278 --> 00:24:10,077
about this new kind of zombie
428
00:24:10,079 --> 00:24:12,581
that's stronger, and faster,
429
00:24:12,583 --> 00:24:16,217
and deadlier and better
adapted to the hunt.
430
00:24:16,219 --> 00:24:18,452
I'm sorry, but that
sounds totally made up.
431
00:24:18,454 --> 00:24:20,654
If you want us to come
with you, just ask us.
432
00:24:20,656 --> 00:24:23,157
Honestly, I just came back
for guns and ammunition.
433
00:24:23,159 --> 00:24:24,959
Come on. Stop begging.
We'll do it.
434
00:24:24,961 --> 00:24:26,628
You know, this is
all your fault.
435
00:24:26,630 --> 00:24:28,395
- Me?
- If you hadn't pushed her away...
436
00:24:28,397 --> 00:24:29,765
Well,
not exactly, no.
437
00:24:29,767 --> 00:24:31,132
I didn't just run
from him.
438
00:24:31,134 --> 00:24:32,470
She ran from you too.
439
00:24:34,136 --> 00:24:35,271
What?
440
00:24:36,640 --> 00:24:39,606
You... you mean well,
but you're...
441
00:24:39,608 --> 00:24:40,944
Kind of overbearing.
442
00:24:42,144 --> 00:24:44,578
Oh, right.
I'm overbearing?
443
00:24:44,580 --> 00:24:46,113
She's not a kid
anymore.
444
00:24:46,115 --> 00:24:48,082
Yeah, she's not a kid,
but I don't know,
445
00:24:48,084 --> 00:24:49,717
it sounds like
she needs us.
446
00:24:49,719 --> 00:24:51,855
Whatever.
We're gonna go get her.
447
00:24:52,955 --> 00:24:55,157
We ride at dawn.
448
00:24:55,159 --> 00:24:57,628
Once she's safe,
I'm going my own way.
449
00:25:00,430 --> 00:25:03,832
So no goodbye,
just like...
450
00:25:03,834 --> 00:25:05,834
- Yeah, I'm terrible at notes.
- A lame note.
451
00:25:05,836 --> 00:25:08,471
Yeah, I know. You mentioned
that in the note.
452
00:25:09,740 --> 00:25:12,041
Uh, I, uh...
453
00:25:13,542 --> 00:25:16,879
I might have overreacted
a little bit.
454
00:25:16,881 --> 00:25:19,013
I mean, the proposal
kind of spooked me.
455
00:25:19,015 --> 00:25:20,448
Mm-hm.
456
00:25:20,450 --> 00:25:22,253
You know what
I'm trying to say.
457
00:25:23,953 --> 00:25:25,819
Oh, god. I'm sorry.
458
00:25:25,821 --> 00:25:27,889
You know how hard it is
for me to say that
459
00:25:27,891 --> 00:25:30,225
because I hate women
who are always apologizing
460
00:25:30,227 --> 00:25:32,626
for things they have
no reason to apologize for.
461
00:25:32,628 --> 00:25:37,567
But in this particular instance,
I actually am really sorry.
462
00:25:39,669 --> 00:25:42,804
Well, thank you.
That actually does mean a lot.
463
00:25:42,806 --> 00:25:45,039
I don't know.
Maybe this could be like a...
464
00:25:45,041 --> 00:25:46,644
Like a turning point for us.
465
00:25:47,711 --> 00:25:49,643
Yeah, maybe.
466
00:25:49,645 --> 00:25:52,514
Columbus,
you coming back to bed?
467
00:25:57,721 --> 00:25:58,853
Wow.
468
00:25:58,855 --> 00:26:01,021
Oh... oh, boy.
469
00:26:01,023 --> 00:26:02,759
I mean, wow!
470
00:26:05,327 --> 00:26:09,767
Glad we had this little talk.
Real turning point.
471
00:26:11,734 --> 00:26:12,802
Hi.
472
00:26:15,538 --> 00:26:18,241
- Is that your sister?
- Oh, fuck.
473
00:26:22,746 --> 00:26:24,446
You definitely
don't need any help.
474
00:26:24,448 --> 00:26:25,613
- No, I've got it.
- Cool.
475
00:26:25,615 --> 00:26:27,082
The beast is back.
476
00:26:27,084 --> 00:26:30,684
I cannot wait to get my hands
behind the...
477
00:26:30,686 --> 00:26:34,421
What the fuck?
478
00:26:34,423 --> 00:26:37,392
No, no, no, no, no.
479
00:26:37,394 --> 00:26:41,930
No way is that gd minivan
even sniffing at Graceland,
480
00:26:41,932 --> 00:26:45,533
home to perhaps
America's finest automobile,
481
00:26:45,535 --> 00:26:49,171
Elvis' 1955 fleetwood series 60.
482
00:26:49,173 --> 00:26:53,874
No. You know, it takes a real
man to drive a pink Cadillac.
483
00:26:55,077 --> 00:26:58,180
Might make that
a rule of my own.
484
00:26:58,182 --> 00:26:59,680
On second thought, fuck that,
485
00:26:59,682 --> 00:27:01,716
rules are for pussies.
Nothing personal.
486
00:27:01,718 --> 00:27:03,719
How could it not be?
That's my thing.
487
00:27:03,721 --> 00:27:05,452
Yeah, you're right.
It was personal.
488
00:27:05,454 --> 00:27:07,055
Yeah. It's gonna be okay.
489
00:27:07,057 --> 00:27:08,690
Even Tallahassee knows
490
00:27:08,692 --> 00:27:10,123
beggars can't be choosers.
491
00:27:10,125 --> 00:27:12,193
Vehicles with working batteries
and parts
492
00:27:12,195 --> 00:27:13,961
are way scarcer nowadays,
493
00:27:13,963 --> 00:27:16,463
thanks to years
of neglect and decline.
494
00:27:16,465 --> 00:27:17,632
Breakaway mirror.
495
00:27:17,634 --> 00:27:19,467
We can't be so picky anymore.
496
00:27:19,469 --> 00:27:21,669
- Clear.
- What? Oh, okay.
497
00:27:21,671 --> 00:27:23,603
- Booyah.
- Okay.
498
00:27:23,605 --> 00:27:25,041
Heh!
499
00:27:28,311 --> 00:27:30,745
- This never happened.
- I'll get the door.
500
00:27:30,747 --> 00:27:32,983
I got it.
I'm gonna lay in the back.
501
00:27:34,351 --> 00:27:36,249
- Oh, catch.
- Oh!
502
00:27:36,251 --> 00:27:38,986
Shoot. Heh, I got it!
503
00:27:38,988 --> 00:27:42,489
What in the butt?
504
00:27:42,491 --> 00:27:44,325
- Ah, shit.
- What?
505
00:27:44,327 --> 00:27:45,593
- Hi!
- Hi.
506
00:27:47,230 --> 00:27:48,796
Are we dropping her off
507
00:27:48,798 --> 00:27:50,498
at an animal shelter
or something?
508
00:27:50,500 --> 00:27:51,798
She's a human being.
509
00:27:51,800 --> 00:27:53,801
We're not gonna
leave her here alone.
510
00:27:53,803 --> 00:27:56,738
We can't
just leave Columbus' girlfriend.
511
00:27:56,740 --> 00:27:58,171
Okay.
512
00:27:58,173 --> 00:27:59,474
A minivan. Nice.
513
00:27:59,476 --> 00:28:00,807
I'm not gonna feel guilty.
514
00:28:00,809 --> 00:28:02,410
You left me in
the harshest way.
515
00:28:02,412 --> 00:28:03,612
You recovered quickly.
516
00:28:03,614 --> 00:28:05,613
- Well, thank you.
- Can you help me?
517
00:28:05,615 --> 00:28:07,114
- I got it.
- Okay.
518
00:28:07,116 --> 00:28:08,815
- It's just, like, heavy.
- No problem.
519
00:28:08,817 --> 00:28:10,584
- Thank you.
- Go ahead, get in.
520
00:28:10,586 --> 00:28:12,722
Okay. You are so nice.
521
00:28:20,830 --> 00:28:24,833
Ah, makkapitew, askuwheteau,
sunukkuhkau...
522
00:28:24,835 --> 00:28:26,366
Is he having a seizure?
523
00:28:26,368 --> 00:28:28,835
I'm trying out
blackfoot names,
524
00:28:28,837 --> 00:28:31,573
so full shushy or you
go back in your mall fridge.
525
00:28:31,575 --> 00:28:33,007
Okay.
526
00:28:33,009 --> 00:28:35,910
Oh, I didn't tell you.
We met at the mall.
527
00:28:35,912 --> 00:28:39,180
- Mm.
- Yeah. I was living there.
528
00:28:39,182 --> 00:28:41,083
Like dawn of the dead.
529
00:28:41,085 --> 00:28:44,552
Last I checked,
it's the post-acropolis.
530
00:28:44,554 --> 00:28:48,488
It was so sad when
the acropolis struck.
531
00:28:48,490 --> 00:28:50,025
Yeah, I know.
532
00:28:50,027 --> 00:28:52,392
Madison, can you remind me,
when we first met,
533
00:28:52,394 --> 00:28:54,527
did you point a gun at me
and steal my car?
534
00:28:54,529 --> 00:28:57,164
No. When we first met,
535
00:28:57,166 --> 00:28:59,500
I told you
you were really smart.
536
00:28:59,502 --> 00:29:03,203
- Oh, yeah.
- And then I slept with you.
537
00:29:03,205 --> 00:29:04,671
That's right. You did.
538
00:29:07,210 --> 00:29:10,143
Road trip! Here we go!
539
00:29:10,145 --> 00:29:12,380
This is gonna be a long drive.
540
00:29:21,423 --> 00:29:24,359
I love the smell of
gunpowder in the morning.
541
00:29:24,361 --> 00:29:26,830
Eh, I'm more of
a patchouli oil guy myself.
542
00:29:28,198 --> 00:29:32,199
You don't...
You don't have weed, do you?
543
00:29:32,201 --> 00:29:35,536
I've always wanted to smoke
way too much weed.
544
00:29:35,538 --> 00:29:37,138
Do I look like
the type of person
545
00:29:37,140 --> 00:29:39,373
that would have weed on me?
546
00:29:39,375 --> 00:29:42,242
Oh, no. I w... that...
I'm sorry, that was...
547
00:29:42,244 --> 00:29:44,612
- Boom, yeah.
- Ha! Oh.
548
00:29:44,614 --> 00:29:47,082
- Of course I do. Oh, I love weed.
- You got me there.
549
00:29:47,084 --> 00:29:49,817
- Look. I mean, look at me.
- Yeah.
550
00:29:49,819 --> 00:29:54,891
I wanted to say it's really nice
to have another woman around.
551
00:29:56,593 --> 00:29:57,758
Yeah.
552
00:29:57,760 --> 00:30:00,928
Like to talk
about relationships.
553
00:30:00,930 --> 00:30:03,133
- Recipes.
- Rings.
554
00:30:04,232 --> 00:30:06,468
Oh, my god.
555
00:30:06,470 --> 00:30:08,071
- Oh, my god.
- Oh, shit.
556
00:30:09,571 --> 00:30:12,440
I know! I found it
in the bedside drawer.
557
00:30:12,442 --> 00:30:14,775
I think it belonged
to the first lady or...
558
00:30:14,777 --> 00:30:16,545
You know what?
I think you're right.
559
00:30:16,547 --> 00:30:19,412
It did belong
to the first lady.
560
00:30:19,414 --> 00:30:21,915
Well, I think it was given
to the first lady,
561
00:30:21,917 --> 00:30:23,616
but she heartlessly
rejected it.
562
00:30:23,618 --> 00:30:27,822
What kind of idiot would
turn down a ring like this?
563
00:30:27,824 --> 00:30:31,992
Maybe an idiot who didn't
wanna be weighed down.
564
00:30:31,994 --> 00:30:34,362
Anchored. Chained
to something immobile.
565
00:30:34,364 --> 00:30:35,462
Hmm...
566
00:30:38,434 --> 00:30:41,803
- Oh, shit. Are you okay?
- Oh, shoot!
567
00:30:41,805 --> 00:30:43,470
Forgot the seatbelt rule.
568
00:30:43,472 --> 00:30:45,806
So she knows the rules?
569
00:30:45,808 --> 00:30:47,607
Yeah, I told her
just a few of them.
570
00:30:47,609 --> 00:30:51,345
- Seventy-three. Are there more?
- Nope, that's it.
571
00:30:51,347 --> 00:30:53,480
- I gotta check this out.
- You guys have spent
572
00:30:53,482 --> 00:30:55,083
a lot of time together, huh?
573
00:30:55,085 --> 00:30:56,651
That's sweet.
574
00:30:56,653 --> 00:30:59,520
You're cute together.
I like it.
575
00:30:59,522 --> 00:31:01,354
Oh!
576
00:31:09,265 --> 00:31:10,534
This looks promising.
577
00:31:17,874 --> 00:31:20,507
He's so flexible.
578
00:31:20,509 --> 00:31:22,977
That's what's so great
about him. He's very bendy.
579
00:31:22,979 --> 00:31:25,345
Ohio, whenever
you're done with that...
580
00:31:25,347 --> 00:31:26,450
What? Yeah.
581
00:31:29,219 --> 00:31:30,651
Ah!
582
00:31:30,653 --> 00:31:32,186
What? No. No, no, no.
583
00:31:32,188 --> 00:31:33,554
No way. Nonstarter.
584
00:31:33,556 --> 00:31:35,588
You know how I feel
about clowns.
585
00:31:35,590 --> 00:31:37,491
- No, not that.
- What?
586
00:31:37,493 --> 00:31:39,862
- That.
- Oh.
587
00:31:41,832 --> 00:31:43,901
- Looks good.
- Mm.
588
00:31:45,067 --> 00:31:46,767
- Can I see?
- Hm?
589
00:31:46,769 --> 00:31:48,102
Can I see?
590
00:31:48,104 --> 00:31:51,171
Yeah. Here you go. Yeah.
591
00:31:54,210 --> 00:31:58,345
- The old man is so tiny.
- Can you see that?
592
00:31:59,715 --> 00:32:01,850
What's-his-name,
you're so tiny.
593
00:32:01,852 --> 00:32:03,218
Now you're not.
Now you are.
594
00:32:03,220 --> 00:32:04,651
Now you're not. Now you are.
595
00:32:04,653 --> 00:32:06,821
Now you're not. Now you are.
Now you're not.
596
00:32:06,823 --> 00:32:08,721
Tiny. Big. Tiny!
597
00:32:08,723 --> 00:32:12,092
- She is adorable.
- She is. I'm lucky.
598
00:32:12,094 --> 00:32:13,995
Tiny. Big. Tiny.
599
00:32:15,699 --> 00:32:17,431
You're overreacting, okay?
600
00:32:17,433 --> 00:32:18,999
Madison's not
a real thing.
601
00:32:19,001 --> 00:32:21,768
It was just circumstance.
It was a lack of options.
602
00:32:21,770 --> 00:32:23,671
You could say
the same thing about us.
603
00:32:23,673 --> 00:32:26,340
- What?
- Circumstance, lack of options.
604
00:32:26,342 --> 00:32:27,875
Really? You really think that?
605
00:32:27,877 --> 00:32:29,710
Whereas you two seem
like soul mates.
606
00:32:29,712 --> 00:32:31,478
Destined to share
deep thoughts.
607
00:32:31,480 --> 00:32:33,815
Maybe you're right,
maybe we are soul mates.
608
00:32:33,817 --> 00:32:36,484
Because she's nice, all right?
And I'm nice.
609
00:32:36,486 --> 00:32:38,119
And you're not.
You're mean.
610
00:32:38,121 --> 00:32:41,122
- Whatever. I'm not mean.
- Yeah, you're kind of mean.
611
00:32:41,124 --> 00:32:43,390
Well, my sister is missing.
She could be dead.
612
00:32:43,392 --> 00:32:45,426
You're screwing
some forever 21-year-old.
613
00:32:45,428 --> 00:32:47,161
So if I wanna be mean,
I'll be mean.
614
00:32:47,163 --> 00:32:48,830
I don't have
the right shoes.
615
00:32:48,832 --> 00:32:51,565
Oh, you could borrow
a pair of my strappy sandals.
616
00:32:51,567 --> 00:32:52,635
- Really?
- Mm-hm.
617
00:32:54,570 --> 00:32:58,205
Kidding. You... she was ki...
You guys are all very sarcastic.
618
00:32:58,207 --> 00:33:01,374
Yeah, they're not nice people.
Sorry. Just try to ignore them.
619
00:33:01,376 --> 00:33:04,312
- Yeah. Yeah. Ignore us.
- Please, god, ignore us.
620
00:33:04,314 --> 00:33:05,849
Ah, see? Mean.
621
00:33:08,718 --> 00:33:10,884
All right!
622
00:33:10,886 --> 00:33:12,553
This is what
I'm talking about.
623
00:33:12,555 --> 00:33:14,956
We're finally gonna be
riding in style.
624
00:33:14,958 --> 00:33:18,459
I partied with 3 doors down
in one of these. It was so...
625
00:33:18,461 --> 00:33:20,393
Oh, shit.
626
00:33:25,067 --> 00:33:26,165
What?
627
00:33:27,336 --> 00:33:28,936
Man, we're getting
good at this.
628
00:33:28,938 --> 00:33:30,971
- Columbus.
- Tallahassee.
629
00:33:30,973 --> 00:33:32,474
- The hood is 12 o'clock.
- Yes.
630
00:33:32,476 --> 00:33:34,378
Trunk is 6. You're our eyes.
631
00:33:35,878 --> 00:33:37,878
Hey, don't worry,
you guys.
632
00:33:37,880 --> 00:33:40,980
They are much more afraid of us
than we are of them.
633
00:33:40,982 --> 00:33:43,717
God, that is not even
remotely true.
634
00:33:43,719 --> 00:33:46,353
- Well, what do I do?
- You know how cheerleaders
635
00:33:46,355 --> 00:33:47,788
- form a pyramid?
- Yeah.
636
00:33:47,790 --> 00:33:49,224
And the three on the bottom
637
00:33:49,226 --> 00:33:51,124
- anchor the pyramid?
- Oh, yeah.
638
00:33:51,126 --> 00:33:54,128
I don't give a shit what you do,
just stay out of my way.
639
00:33:54,130 --> 00:33:56,529
Okay, 8 o'clock. Eight o'clock.
640
00:33:56,531 --> 00:33:59,834
Did you say the front was 12?
Oh, fuck me. Sorry. Two o'clock.
641
00:33:59,836 --> 00:34:02,803
Eleven! Eleven! Seven-thirty!
642
00:34:02,805 --> 00:34:04,939
Six o'clock. Six!
643
00:34:04,941 --> 00:34:06,774
I'll get 6.
644
00:34:07,876 --> 00:34:09,209
Uh, shit. One-fifteen.
645
00:34:09,211 --> 00:34:10,211
One-thirteen, 1:20.
646
00:34:10,213 --> 00:34:11,612
It's moving that way.
647
00:34:11,614 --> 00:34:13,380
Why is everyone
shouting numbers?
648
00:34:13,382 --> 00:34:14,815
Eleven!
649
00:34:14,817 --> 00:34:15,851
- Twelve!
- Six!
650
00:34:17,554 --> 00:34:19,186
Two o'clock!
651
00:34:19,188 --> 00:34:20,188
Eight.
652
00:34:21,557 --> 00:34:23,527
- Six o'clock.
- Shit.
653
00:34:27,030 --> 00:34:28,598
One o'clock. Six-thirty.
654
00:34:30,733 --> 00:34:32,432
Ten! Eight!
655
00:34:33,503 --> 00:34:34,668
- Eight!
- Shit.
656
00:34:35,737 --> 00:34:36,836
Shit!
657
00:34:42,545 --> 00:34:45,246
- Narsty!
- Thank you.
658
00:34:45,248 --> 00:34:46,246
You're welcome.
659
00:34:46,248 --> 00:34:48,182
One o'clock! Two-thirty.
660
00:34:48,184 --> 00:34:49,286
Three! One!
661
00:34:51,086 --> 00:34:52,389
Okay. I'll get 3.
662
00:34:54,190 --> 00:34:55,389
Right on time, Columbus.
663
00:34:57,260 --> 00:34:58,458
One o'clock! Ten-thirty!
664
00:35:01,530 --> 00:35:02,896
Eleven! Eleven!
665
00:35:02,898 --> 00:35:04,599
Actually, it's a homer.
666
00:35:04,601 --> 00:35:07,534
Abort! Abort 11.
Don't waste a bullet.
667
00:35:07,536 --> 00:35:10,570
- Hawking! Hawking!
- What? Oh, shit!
668
00:35:16,880 --> 00:35:18,179
Yay!
669
00:35:19,548 --> 00:35:21,782
- Aah, he's trying to bite me!
- Ninja! Ninja!
670
00:35:21,784 --> 00:35:23,052
Oh, my god!
671
00:35:24,753 --> 00:35:26,920
You saved me.
672
00:35:26,922 --> 00:35:28,224
All right. Settle down.
673
00:35:31,893 --> 00:35:35,595
- Hey, tal, 1 o'clock.
- Pardon me, pop-tart.
674
00:35:35,597 --> 00:35:37,298
Not quite done yet.
675
00:35:46,574 --> 00:35:47,909
What the fuck?
676
00:35:52,449 --> 00:35:54,284
Try to dodge me, motherfucker.
677
00:35:56,152 --> 00:35:59,920
This was our first t-800,
678
00:35:59,922 --> 00:36:02,322
named for the Terminator
it-fucking-self.
679
00:36:02,324 --> 00:36:03,456
Uh...
680
00:36:03,458 --> 00:36:05,391
- Tal?
- Yup?
681
00:36:09,498 --> 00:36:12,465
T-800s were a
mutated strain of zombie,
682
00:36:12,467 --> 00:36:15,605
stronger, deadlier
and harder to kill.
683
00:36:17,340 --> 00:36:20,177
One plus one
is still two, right?
684
00:36:26,782 --> 00:36:31,151
They were the apex
predator, top of the food chain.
685
00:36:31,153 --> 00:36:33,987
Single-minded and relentless
like their namesake,
686
00:36:33,989 --> 00:36:35,755
once they locked on
to a target,
687
00:36:35,757 --> 00:36:38,360
t-800s stopped at nothing
to devour their prey.
688
00:36:39,461 --> 00:36:41,664
What the ever-loving fuck?
689
00:36:53,876 --> 00:36:55,409
Ew.
690
00:36:55,411 --> 00:36:57,512
Seeing that t-800 firsthand
691
00:36:57,514 --> 00:36:59,045
was all the more worrisome
692
00:36:59,047 --> 00:37:01,014
knowing that little rock
was out there
693
00:37:01,016 --> 00:37:03,220
with nothing but a hippie
and a guitar.
694
00:37:11,193 --> 00:37:14,561
Okay.
That song is amazing.
695
00:37:14,563 --> 00:37:15,695
Did you write that?
696
00:37:18,134 --> 00:37:19,833
Wa... was that a dumb question?
697
00:37:19,835 --> 00:37:22,202
Sorry, I was like 11
when the zombies took over.
698
00:37:22,204 --> 00:37:23,470
Not a dumb question.
699
00:37:23,472 --> 00:37:25,039
I was laughing
because you think
700
00:37:25,041 --> 00:37:26,639
I'd play some
stupid cover song.
701
00:37:26,641 --> 00:37:27,842
Of course I wrote it.
702
00:37:27,844 --> 00:37:29,043
If you love that,
703
00:37:29,045 --> 00:37:31,012
then you're really
gonna love this.
704
00:37:31,014 --> 00:37:34,847
But it's a work in progress,
so be gentle.
705
00:37:54,036 --> 00:37:57,570
- A poem by Tallahassee.
- Ah!
706
00:37:57,572 --> 00:38:03,911
Traveling to Graceland
in comfort and class
707
00:38:03,913 --> 00:38:08,315
that Pontiac trans sport
can kiss my ass
708
00:38:10,219 --> 00:38:14,220
- very good! Very good.
- Here we go, baby! Woo-hoo!
709
00:38:14,222 --> 00:38:17,391
Let's go see the king
and let's go get little rock!
710
00:38:28,605 --> 00:38:31,340
- Did... did we just get...
- Shorter?
711
00:38:33,476 --> 00:38:34,911
I say we take the clown car.
712
00:38:36,246 --> 00:38:38,144
No, no, no. No!
That is a deal-breaker.
713
00:38:38,146 --> 00:38:39,815
No fucking clowns!
714
00:38:47,023 --> 00:38:51,258
In moments of great dishonor
such as this,
715
00:38:51,260 --> 00:38:56,095
ancient samurai warriors
were required to commit seppuku,
716
00:38:56,097 --> 00:39:01,003
or ritual suicide
by disembowelment.
717
00:39:05,875 --> 00:39:07,374
My mom had this car.
718
00:39:07,376 --> 00:39:09,642
- So did mine.
- So did mine.
719
00:39:13,181 --> 00:39:15,148
Fucking minivan.
720
00:39:15,150 --> 00:39:17,483
Back on the road, yay!
721
00:39:27,764 --> 00:39:30,097
I've always wanted
to start a business
722
00:39:30,099 --> 00:39:33,766
where strangers drive strangers
around in their car
723
00:39:33,768 --> 00:39:35,836
- for money.
- Mm.
724
00:39:35,838 --> 00:39:38,972
Let's say you were really
drunk and needed a ride home.
725
00:39:38,974 --> 00:39:40,474
You'd just get online
726
00:39:40,476 --> 00:39:42,443
and hop right in
with a stranger.
727
00:39:42,445 --> 00:39:45,077
And they'd take you
anywhere you wanna go.
728
00:39:45,079 --> 00:39:47,648
- Oh, yeah. Who then kills you.
- Yeah. Ha, ha!
729
00:39:47,650 --> 00:39:50,418
They'd have gum
or, like, lollipops.
730
00:39:50,420 --> 00:39:52,186
That was what my parents
taught me.
731
00:39:52,188 --> 00:39:55,889
They were like, "if a stranger
offers you candy or gum,
732
00:39:55,891 --> 00:39:57,358
get in their car."
Great idea.
733
00:39:57,360 --> 00:39:59,059
If they try to murder you,
734
00:39:59,061 --> 00:40:01,195
you can have a system
so you can rate them.
735
00:40:01,197 --> 00:40:03,898
If they try to murder you,
like, "you get zero points."
736
00:40:03,900 --> 00:40:07,367
But if they don't try to murder
you, "you get five points."
737
00:40:07,369 --> 00:40:09,836
Madison, I think it is
a very good idea.
738
00:40:09,838 --> 00:40:12,373
That's... no, I cannot
see that going wrong.
739
00:40:12,375 --> 00:40:15,409
All I'm saying is the
taxi industry was very flawed.
740
00:40:18,380 --> 00:40:20,715
- Mm, oop...
- Are you okay?
741
00:40:20,717 --> 00:40:23,483
I think I'm, like, hot.
I'm hot.
742
00:40:23,485 --> 00:40:25,017
- Yeah?
- Mm-hm.
743
00:40:25,019 --> 00:40:27,387
I'm used to being in
the freezer all the time.
744
00:40:27,389 --> 00:40:30,257
- Get this off.
- Yeah. Sure. That makes sense.
745
00:40:36,030 --> 00:40:39,534
I feel funny. My tongue...
746
00:40:39,536 --> 00:40:41,501
My tongue... my tongue...
747
00:40:41,503 --> 00:40:43,202
Boss?
You're gonna wanna pull over.
748
00:40:44,340 --> 00:40:45,639
- No.
- Pull over.
749
00:40:45,641 --> 00:40:47,039
We're making good progress.
750
00:40:47,041 --> 00:40:48,041
- Ugh!
- Pull over!
751
00:40:48,043 --> 00:40:49,709
- Yeah.
- Okay. Okay.
752
00:40:57,420 --> 00:40:58,552
- Oh.
- Oh.
753
00:40:58,554 --> 00:40:59,586
Chunkage.
754
00:40:59,588 --> 00:41:01,487
Maybe she'll pull through.
755
00:41:01,489 --> 00:41:04,124
What? You are the one
who says "don't take chances."
756
00:41:06,295 --> 00:41:09,298
So who wants do the honors?
757
00:41:10,632 --> 00:41:13,333
I mean, personally,
I wouldn't mind,
758
00:41:13,335 --> 00:41:16,704
but I don't want
you guys calling me selfish.
759
00:41:16,706 --> 00:41:19,907
Hey, come on. She is a living,
thinking being. Okay?
760
00:41:19,909 --> 00:41:21,441
She's a living being.
761
00:41:21,443 --> 00:41:25,979
Look, I know you guys
are in love or whatever,
762
00:41:25,981 --> 00:41:28,414
but in two minutes,
she's gonna become a:
763
00:41:30,318 --> 00:41:34,655
A zombie, not a velociraptor.
And it's the right thing to do.
764
00:41:34,657 --> 00:41:38,159
If you love something,
you shoot it in the face
765
00:41:38,161 --> 00:41:40,894
so it doesn't become
a flesh-eating monster.
766
00:41:40,896 --> 00:41:42,329
I know.
767
00:41:42,331 --> 00:41:44,398
She's making a good point.
768
00:41:44,400 --> 00:41:50,670
Maybe it's time for you to be
the brave little toaster.
769
00:41:55,545 --> 00:41:57,811
They say when
something bad happens,
770
00:41:57,813 --> 00:41:59,546
you have three choices:
771
00:41:59,548 --> 00:42:03,018
Let it define you, destroy you,
or strengthen you.
772
00:42:06,688 --> 00:42:08,891
Time to teach lennie
about the rabbits.
773
00:42:13,628 --> 00:42:15,729
No! Don't come with me!
Don't come with me!
774
00:42:15,731 --> 00:42:17,530
Madison, Madison, please.
775
00:42:17,532 --> 00:42:19,867
- Madison, please. Please, please.
- Don't hurt me!
776
00:42:19,869 --> 00:42:21,369
- No, no, no!
- Wait. Listen to me!
777
00:42:21,371 --> 00:42:22,603
- Please. Wait.
- No, no, no!
778
00:42:22,605 --> 00:42:24,771
- Madison, just wait.
- I'm a monster.
779
00:42:24,773 --> 00:42:26,539
- I'm a monster.
- Please, please.
780
00:42:26,541 --> 00:42:29,175
Listen. I realize we don't
know each other that well.
781
00:42:29,177 --> 00:42:31,679
I mean, well, we do
in the biblical sense, yes.
782
00:42:31,681 --> 00:42:33,715
But I think you're
a really great person.
783
00:42:36,719 --> 00:42:37,950
Well, not now.
784
00:42:40,222 --> 00:42:42,155
I'm sorry.
785
00:42:55,003 --> 00:42:57,204
Thanks.
786
00:42:57,206 --> 00:42:59,039
Can we just, uh...
787
00:42:59,041 --> 00:43:01,074
I'm so sorry.
788
00:43:01,076 --> 00:43:03,342
All right. Just...
Come on, come on, let's go.
789
00:43:14,255 --> 00:43:16,255
I'm not gonna lie and say
790
00:43:16,257 --> 00:43:18,961
that I'm broken up
about it, but, um...
791
00:43:20,563 --> 00:43:22,697
- I am sorry.
- Yeah.
792
00:43:22,699 --> 00:43:24,764
- She didn't deserve that.
- Thanks, man.
793
00:43:24,766 --> 00:43:29,472
He's right. That's a terrible
way to go, even for...
794
00:43:30,706 --> 00:43:32,938
- It's....
- Oh, come on. It's Madison.
795
00:43:32,940 --> 00:43:34,275
- You know that.
- Madison!
796
00:43:34,277 --> 00:43:36,342
You know that, okay?
Her name is Madison.
797
00:43:36,344 --> 00:43:39,579
Or her name was Madison.
And she was a real person, okay?
798
00:43:39,581 --> 00:43:41,715
She had, you know,
complex feelings
799
00:43:41,717 --> 00:43:43,516
and emotions and interests.
800
00:43:43,518 --> 00:43:48,621
She liked dolphins and rainbows,
you know? And double rainbows.
801
00:43:48,623 --> 00:43:51,358
- I'm agreeing. It's sad.
- Okay.
802
00:43:51,360 --> 00:43:53,092
That is obviously not
what I wanted.
803
00:43:53,094 --> 00:43:55,795
- What is it that you do want?
- I wanna find my sister.
804
00:43:55,797 --> 00:43:56,963
Me too.
805
00:43:56,965 --> 00:43:58,664
- Good.
- Good.
806
00:43:58,666 --> 00:44:01,133
- Good. Great. Awesome.
- Great, in fact. Great.
807
00:44:01,135 --> 00:44:03,003
This is gonna be
a long drive.
808
00:44:14,182 --> 00:44:15,749
This is it.
809
00:44:15,751 --> 00:44:18,952
Hey, little buddy,
don't be cruel to me
810
00:44:18,954 --> 00:44:21,157
for waking you up,
but we're here.
811
00:44:22,291 --> 00:44:25,124
Oh. Oh, my god.
812
00:44:25,126 --> 00:44:26,559
Oh, my god.
813
00:44:28,898 --> 00:44:31,398
Every choice I've ever
made in my life
814
00:44:31,400 --> 00:44:34,333
has been leading me
to this moment right here,
815
00:44:34,335 --> 00:44:37,304
right now,
3764 Elvis Presley boulevard.
816
00:44:37,306 --> 00:44:40,773
I feel like a 1954 teenybopper.
817
00:44:40,775 --> 00:44:41,844
And here comes...
818
00:44:44,447 --> 00:44:45,447
No.
819
00:44:48,282 --> 00:44:50,349
No, no, no!
820
00:44:50,351 --> 00:44:53,019
Hey, dude, if you need,
like, a moment or...
821
00:44:53,021 --> 00:44:55,722
Oh, my god. No Graceland.
822
00:44:55,724 --> 00:44:57,456
No beast.
823
00:44:57,458 --> 00:45:00,226
- No little rock.
- No little rock?
824
00:45:00,228 --> 00:45:02,028
Am I not allowed
825
00:45:02,030 --> 00:45:06,800
one cock-sucking duck-fucking
little break in this world?
826
00:45:06,802 --> 00:45:08,903
You're not the only one
that's upset.
827
00:45:08,905 --> 00:45:12,673
Just... just drive.
Drive, drive. Drive now!
828
00:45:12,675 --> 00:45:14,443
Get away from here. Go!
829
00:45:18,413 --> 00:45:20,546
Graceland was a pile of rubble,
830
00:45:20,548 --> 00:45:22,182
little rock was still missing,
831
00:45:22,184 --> 00:45:24,050
and we were unsure
of our next move.
832
00:45:24,052 --> 00:45:26,686
But sometimes, you just have
to follow the signs.
833
00:45:26,688 --> 00:45:28,655
Hm.
834
00:45:28,657 --> 00:45:30,860
Well, when z-land
serves you lemons...
835
00:45:33,061 --> 00:45:35,264
Hey, Florida, 11 o'clock.
836
00:45:38,534 --> 00:45:40,032
What?
837
00:45:40,034 --> 00:45:44,039
- Hound dog hotel.
- Oh, what a bunch of bull.
838
00:45:45,974 --> 00:45:48,778
- Whoa, the beast!
- Little rock!
839
00:45:56,751 --> 00:45:59,452
Damn. Wow,
840
00:45:59,454 --> 00:46:01,220
for a place
that ain't Graceland,
841
00:46:01,222 --> 00:46:03,523
it sure looks a hell
of a lot like Graceland.
842
00:46:03,525 --> 00:46:05,124
- Yeah, it does.
- Here's the idea.
843
00:46:05,126 --> 00:46:06,760
We'll split up.
I'll go this way.
844
00:46:06,762 --> 00:46:08,561
No, no, no.
I should talk to her.
845
00:46:08,563 --> 00:46:11,632
I'm her sister. I'll talk to
her first. You guys stay here.
846
00:46:11,634 --> 00:46:13,400
Mm, sound.
847
00:46:13,402 --> 00:46:16,603
- Huh.
- Buh, buh, buh, buh.
848
00:46:16,605 --> 00:46:19,104
- Little respect.
- Why? He's dead probably.
849
00:46:19,106 --> 00:46:21,576
Oh. Oh, for you. Okay.
850
00:46:24,112 --> 00:46:26,313
- This is so degrading.
- It's not for me.
851
00:46:26,315 --> 00:46:27,315
Yeah, I know.
852
00:46:28,617 --> 00:46:30,117
Okay.
853
00:46:30,119 --> 00:46:32,119
- Oh, yeah.
- Smells like a wet dog died.
854
00:46:32,121 --> 00:46:33,854
- That's not... push it.
- I am.
855
00:46:33,856 --> 00:46:36,659
- Square peg, round hole. Stop.
- Yeah, okay. Sorry.
856
00:46:41,230 --> 00:46:43,796
Oh, my god. It's uncanny.
857
00:46:43,798 --> 00:46:46,099
This is incredible.
858
00:46:46,101 --> 00:46:49,735
It's a perfect fit. I feel
like cinderella at the ball.
859
00:46:49,737 --> 00:46:53,974
Are you jealous that I have
the same size shoe as Elvis?
860
00:46:53,976 --> 00:46:57,680
No. It's not like those
are Elvis' actual shoes.
861
00:47:00,748 --> 00:47:02,184
Sorry.
862
00:47:29,311 --> 00:47:30,546
Little rock?
863
00:47:54,637 --> 00:47:56,202
Ow!
864
00:47:57,639 --> 00:48:00,874
- Start talking.
- Ah, you first.
865
00:48:00,876 --> 00:48:03,376
- Hi, my name's Tallahassee.
- Nevada.
866
00:48:03,378 --> 00:48:06,079
- Which part?
- Nevada's as close as you get.
867
00:48:06,081 --> 00:48:08,081
Now, what are you doing
in the hound dog?
868
00:48:08,083 --> 00:48:11,052
I got a thing for the king.
869
00:48:12,588 --> 00:48:15,555
No, no,
don't shoot my friends.
870
00:48:15,557 --> 00:48:18,157
- Anybody else in here with you?
- No, just us.
871
00:48:18,159 --> 00:48:21,561
We're all civilized people.
Let's just put the guns down.
872
00:48:21,563 --> 00:48:24,664
Why the hell are you wearing
Elvis' actual shoes?
873
00:48:24,666 --> 00:48:25,701
Comfort.
874
00:48:27,369 --> 00:48:29,568
- You live here?
- Yeah.
875
00:48:29,570 --> 00:48:32,671
So that car out front, the girl
who was driving it, is she...
876
00:48:32,673 --> 00:48:35,742
Gone. She and that poser
peace lover of hers...
877
00:48:35,744 --> 00:48:38,311
- Berkeley.
- Berkeley.
878
00:48:38,313 --> 00:48:39,679
...took off a few days ago.
879
00:48:39,681 --> 00:48:41,682
And trust me,
they shouldn't have.
880
00:48:41,684 --> 00:48:42,916
It's not safe out there.
881
00:48:42,918 --> 00:48:45,818
- Damn it.
- Why didn't they take the beast?
882
00:48:45,820 --> 00:48:47,753
He said it was
too "establishment."
883
00:48:47,755 --> 00:48:51,090
Oh, I will kill
that little fart snack myself.
884
00:48:51,092 --> 00:48:53,092
You're lucky I didn't do
the same to you.
885
00:48:53,094 --> 00:48:56,231
Seriously. You know how close
I came to murraying you?
886
00:48:59,268 --> 00:49:01,434
To what-ing him?
887
00:49:01,436 --> 00:49:04,403
Murraying him. You know,
when you shoot someone
888
00:49:04,405 --> 00:49:06,373
because you think
they're a zombie.
889
00:49:06,375 --> 00:49:09,141
Apparently, that's
how bill Murray died.
890
00:49:09,143 --> 00:49:11,278
Wow, god, who's bill Murray?
I never...
891
00:49:11,280 --> 00:49:12,912
I don't even know
what that is.
892
00:49:12,914 --> 00:49:15,414
Oh, the actor.
That's so sad.
893
00:49:15,416 --> 00:49:17,117
I don't read variety.
That's sad.
894
00:49:17,119 --> 00:49:19,786
Sorry if you knew him.
If you didn't, I'm still sorry.
895
00:49:19,788 --> 00:49:22,554
It's sad when anybody dies.
Sounds like an urban legend.
896
00:49:22,556 --> 00:49:25,126
- It happened.
- I doubt it. It's weird. What?
897
00:49:27,797 --> 00:49:30,229
I'll say this about Murray,
898
00:49:30,231 --> 00:49:34,300
if I ever find out who did him,
I'm gonna do him.
899
00:49:34,302 --> 00:49:36,436
Me too. I'll be...
You first, but me second.
900
00:49:36,438 --> 00:49:38,204
Don't listen to this guy.
901
00:49:38,206 --> 00:49:39,873
He's killed more
celebrities than cocaine.
902
00:49:39,875 --> 00:49:41,608
The girl that was here before,
903
00:49:41,610 --> 00:49:43,242
did she say
where she was going?
904
00:49:43,244 --> 00:49:46,213
No, but that idiot Berkeley
905
00:49:46,215 --> 00:49:48,148
wouldn't shut up about it.
906
00:49:48,150 --> 00:49:50,383
Babylon is a commune,
safe haven,
907
00:49:50,385 --> 00:49:51,950
protected on all sides.
908
00:49:51,952 --> 00:49:55,387
Completely pacifist.
No guns or violence of any kind.
909
00:49:55,389 --> 00:49:57,157
A lot of young people too,
you know.
910
00:49:57,159 --> 00:49:59,226
Generation z living
in peace and Harmony.
911
00:49:59,228 --> 00:50:01,494
- It sounds cool.
- I know you had your heart set
912
00:50:01,496 --> 00:50:06,335
on this Graceland, but this
is mucho, mucho better.
913
00:50:13,376 --> 00:50:16,610
This is a very good replica
of the king's jungle room,
914
00:50:16,612 --> 00:50:18,945
where he recorded
his last two albums.
915
00:50:18,947 --> 00:50:22,782
From Elvis Presley boulevard,
Memphis, Tennessee and...
916
00:50:22,784 --> 00:50:24,950
And moody blue.
917
00:50:24,952 --> 00:50:26,155
You know your Elvis.
918
00:50:27,621 --> 00:50:30,492
Every lover of the king
has a story.
919
00:50:31,626 --> 00:50:33,159
What's yours?
920
00:50:33,161 --> 00:50:36,563
My mama took me to see Elvis
when I was a kid.
921
00:50:36,565 --> 00:50:39,331
Something about him.
Attitude, the music...
922
00:50:39,333 --> 00:50:41,834
The hips, the ass.
923
00:50:41,836 --> 00:50:43,836
Well, I was 10,
but with Elvis,
924
00:50:43,838 --> 00:50:45,438
there is something
for everyone.
925
00:50:45,440 --> 00:50:47,706
Cut to later,
I'm in high school.
926
00:50:47,708 --> 00:50:50,644
And my buddy
Frankie Hammond says, uh:
927
00:50:50,646 --> 00:50:52,979
"Do your Elvis."
928
00:50:52,981 --> 00:50:56,316
I said, "we're in the library.
It's gonna be loud."
929
00:50:56,318 --> 00:50:58,851
He convinces me. He starts
tapping his pencil,
930
00:50:58,853 --> 00:51:00,088
and I get up.
931
00:51:10,164 --> 00:51:12,932
Everybody starts gathering
around and clapping,
932
00:51:12,934 --> 00:51:15,869
and I jumped on a table.
I finish off with a flourish.
933
00:51:21,208 --> 00:51:24,545
Yeah! And the whole place,
thunderous applause.
934
00:51:24,547 --> 00:51:27,713
And up comes the cutest girl
in the school,
935
00:51:27,715 --> 00:51:31,918
Robin Rogers, who never
gave me the time of day before.
936
00:51:31,920 --> 00:51:34,253
She plants a kiss
on my cheek.
937
00:51:34,255 --> 00:51:36,555
And for a moment, just one,
938
00:51:36,557 --> 00:51:38,326
I felt like the king.
939
00:51:41,396 --> 00:51:44,233
I suddenly feel a little jealous
of Robin Rogers.
940
00:51:46,402 --> 00:51:47,402
You don't say.
941
00:51:49,670 --> 00:51:51,139
I don't know about you...
942
00:51:52,775 --> 00:51:54,477
...but I feel my temperature
rising.
943
00:51:59,081 --> 00:52:00,282
Mm.
944
00:52:03,217 --> 00:52:06,019
This is Babylon.
945
00:52:06,021 --> 00:52:09,421
Oh, like those ancient
hanging gardens.
946
00:52:09,423 --> 00:52:11,557
- Huh?
- Of Babylon.
947
00:52:11,559 --> 00:52:14,793
No, no. It's named
for that cool David gray song.
948
00:52:14,795 --> 00:52:16,631
Man, I wish I'd written
that one.
949
00:52:17,967 --> 00:52:20,766
No guns allowed
is our one rule.
950
00:52:20,768 --> 00:52:23,938
- That, and no group sex.
- All right. Hand them over.
951
00:52:26,574 --> 00:52:28,807
Here you go.
952
00:52:28,809 --> 00:52:31,244
No guns. No guns.
Just hugs.
953
00:52:31,246 --> 00:52:33,079
Then welcome.
954
00:52:33,081 --> 00:52:35,447
Come on, señorita.
You're gonna love this place.
955
00:52:35,449 --> 00:52:37,516
It's completely safe
and entirely organic.
956
00:52:37,518 --> 00:52:39,452
- This is so cool.
- All right.
957
00:52:39,454 --> 00:52:42,155
We're gonna melt your guns here
and give you a pendant.
958
00:52:42,157 --> 00:52:43,990
- They melt it?
- Yeah.
959
00:52:43,992 --> 00:52:45,325
It's a symbolic thing.
960
00:52:45,327 --> 00:52:46,959
Goodbye, violence.
961
00:52:46,961 --> 00:52:48,595
Hello, peace.
962
00:52:48,597 --> 00:52:49,795
Once we're done,
963
00:52:49,797 --> 00:52:51,430
we'll take you up
to the rooftop.
964
00:52:51,432 --> 00:52:52,599
I hope you like stairs.
965
00:52:52,601 --> 00:52:53,601
That's good.
966
00:52:57,405 --> 00:52:59,773
- Thanks.
- Welcome to Babylon.
967
00:52:59,775 --> 00:53:01,675
Let me show you the way.
968
00:53:01,677 --> 00:53:02,809
Aw, right on.
969
00:53:07,315 --> 00:53:09,014
Hey, brother. What's up?
970
00:53:09,016 --> 00:53:10,719
- Hi.
- Yeah.
971
00:53:30,471 --> 00:53:34,007
Wake
up, my little blue suede baby.
972
00:53:34,009 --> 00:53:36,041
It's now or never. Ooh!
973
00:53:36,043 --> 00:53:39,412
My friends say you're sleeping
like a tired pup.
974
00:53:41,516 --> 00:53:42,682
What the fuck?
975
00:53:43,918 --> 00:53:44,920
Shit.
976
00:53:52,025 --> 00:53:54,494
Oh, no, no, no!
977
00:53:54,496 --> 00:53:56,496
This is not happening!
978
00:53:56,498 --> 00:53:59,633
This is not fucking happening!
979
00:53:59,635 --> 00:54:01,833
Hey, motherfucker,
that's my ride!
980
00:54:01,835 --> 00:54:04,369
Oh, my apologies,
tiny Elvis.
981
00:54:04,371 --> 00:54:07,673
Just didn't expect anything
to be parked in my driveway.
982
00:54:07,675 --> 00:54:08,744
Your driveway?
983
00:54:10,478 --> 00:54:12,979
That's right. My driveway.
984
00:54:12,981 --> 00:54:14,914
Well, that's funny.
When I parked in it,
985
00:54:14,916 --> 00:54:16,282
no one told me to pull out.
986
00:54:18,052 --> 00:54:20,519
Well, actually,
it's my driveway.
987
00:54:20,521 --> 00:54:22,354
Hey, Nevada.
988
00:54:22,356 --> 00:54:27,260
But see, when I'm
in town, I use it.
989
00:54:27,262 --> 00:54:30,731
Well, I'm in town now,
and I'm using it.
990
00:54:30,733 --> 00:54:32,865
Keep talking like this,
and I can arrange
991
00:54:32,867 --> 00:54:35,767
so neither of you
ever uses my driveway again.
992
00:54:35,769 --> 00:54:37,802
I don't think they're talking
about the driveway.
993
00:54:37,804 --> 00:54:39,206
No, I don't think so.
994
00:54:39,208 --> 00:54:41,474
- You happy now? Good move.
- Satisfied? Good job.
995
00:54:41,476 --> 00:54:44,309
- Does he remind you of...?
- Yeah, it's weird.
996
00:54:44,311 --> 00:54:47,079
I don't like you at all.
997
00:54:47,081 --> 00:54:48,447
It's not weird,
it's creepy.
998
00:54:48,449 --> 00:54:50,115
It's like
an un-funhouse mirror.
999
00:54:50,117 --> 00:54:53,385
I think you double-parked
or more perpendicular-parked.
1000
00:54:53,387 --> 00:54:55,421
- Hope we don't get a ticket.
- Whoa.
1001
00:54:55,423 --> 00:54:57,523
- Calm down.
- I'm just ragging you.
1002
00:54:57,525 --> 00:55:00,092
- What is going on here?
- What?
1003
00:55:00,094 --> 00:55:02,195
- What do you mean, "what"?
- What?
1004
00:55:02,197 --> 00:55:05,030
- Does he not remind you of...?
- Hello, everyone.
1005
00:55:05,032 --> 00:55:07,233
Of... of what?
1006
00:55:07,235 --> 00:55:08,735
- This is Albuquerque.
- Howdy.
1007
00:55:08,737 --> 00:55:10,869
- I'm flagstaff.
- Hey. I'm Columbus.
1008
00:55:10,871 --> 00:55:12,472
Oh, great.
1009
00:55:12,474 --> 00:55:15,208
Uh, this is Tallahassee,
Wichita,
1010
00:55:15,210 --> 00:55:17,409
- and I guess you know Nevada.
- Yes, I do.
1011
00:55:17,411 --> 00:55:18,577
Easy, cowboy.
1012
00:55:18,579 --> 00:55:20,612
So sorry about your ex-car.
1013
00:55:20,614 --> 00:55:23,985
I guess, as I like to say,
expect the unexpected.
1014
00:55:25,253 --> 00:55:28,320
- It's one of my commandments.
- Oh.
1015
00:55:28,322 --> 00:55:30,289
- Commandments?
- Yeah. Sort of guidelines
1016
00:55:30,291 --> 00:55:32,425
for staying alive.
I've got loads of them.
1017
00:55:32,427 --> 00:55:34,461
- Hm, interesting.
- Number one is teamwork.
1018
00:55:34,463 --> 00:55:37,030
Teamwork. That's so great.
1019
00:55:37,032 --> 00:55:38,932
I spent a long time
thinking about it.
1020
00:55:38,934 --> 00:55:41,601
I have rules, you know,
which is, like, less biblical.
1021
00:55:41,603 --> 00:55:44,336
I love rules. Without rules,
everything's chaos.
1022
00:55:44,338 --> 00:55:46,840
- Thank you.
- Columbus has quite a few rules.
1023
00:55:46,842 --> 00:55:48,941
- I do.
- Awesome. Like what?
1024
00:55:48,943 --> 00:55:51,344
- I don't wanna toot my own horn.
- Go on, toot.
1025
00:55:51,346 --> 00:55:53,579
- Let me toot for him. Uh...
- Thank you.
1026
00:55:53,581 --> 00:55:56,583
- Number one, cardio.
- That's right.
1027
00:55:56,585 --> 00:55:57,751
Cardio. Okay.
1028
00:55:57,753 --> 00:55:59,786
- What?
- I don't mean to laugh.
1029
00:55:59,788 --> 00:56:03,789
It's just that cardiovascular
fitness is his number 29,
1030
00:56:03,791 --> 00:56:05,592
meaning he has
28 other commandments
1031
00:56:05,594 --> 00:56:07,193
that he finds more important,
1032
00:56:07,195 --> 00:56:09,795
like, say, what's one
of your great ones?
1033
00:56:09,797 --> 00:56:12,499
Number 12. The world
is your bathroom, meaning
1034
00:56:12,501 --> 00:56:15,769
you can whip it out wherever
you want, and have at it.
1035
00:56:15,771 --> 00:56:17,970
Oh, just whip it out
wherever you want!
1036
00:56:17,972 --> 00:56:19,505
That sounds a little uncouth.
1037
00:56:19,507 --> 00:56:21,807
The "whip it out" part's
for guys, obviously.
1038
00:56:21,809 --> 00:56:24,744
If you're a woman,
you can reveal it.
1039
00:56:24,746 --> 00:56:27,012
- Whichever.
- I have beware of bathrooms.
1040
00:56:27,014 --> 00:56:29,215
Yeah, I'm just generally
careful around them.
1041
00:56:29,217 --> 00:56:31,349
But it's not a competition.
1042
00:56:31,351 --> 00:56:34,220
- No, doesn't have to be.
- But number 18 is limber up.
1043
00:56:34,222 --> 00:56:36,255
- But that's...
- That's fine. I have warm up.
1044
00:56:36,257 --> 00:56:39,325
Again, not a competition,
but commandment number 45
1045
00:56:39,327 --> 00:56:41,594
for me is, well,
mind your manners.
1046
00:56:41,596 --> 00:56:43,195
Just because
it's the apocalypse
1047
00:56:43,197 --> 00:56:44,831
doesn't mean
you have to be rude.
1048
00:56:44,833 --> 00:56:46,731
Keep your hands
to yourself, number 42.
1049
00:56:46,733 --> 00:56:47,867
Do you have sunscreen?
1050
00:56:47,869 --> 00:56:49,603
- Just shade.
- Shade. Of course.
1051
00:56:49,605 --> 00:56:52,572
It's free. It's everywhere.
Yeah. Number two, double tap.
1052
00:56:52,574 --> 00:56:54,974
I have number five,
confirm your kill.
1053
00:56:54,976 --> 00:56:57,010
- Confirm your kill.
- Avoid perishables.
1054
00:56:57,012 --> 00:56:58,979
- Do you have that?
- Sorry. Ziploc bags.
1055
00:56:58,981 --> 00:57:01,046
- Same thing, different word.
- Yeah. Exactly.
1056
00:57:01,048 --> 00:57:03,416
I probably would shy away
from the word "ziploc"
1057
00:57:03,418 --> 00:57:05,150
because I try
to avoid name brands.
1058
00:57:05,152 --> 00:57:08,220
Okay, great. So, what brought
you guys back so soon?
1059
00:57:08,222 --> 00:57:11,224
We was headed for the rockies,
but the goddamn bolts...
1060
00:57:11,226 --> 00:57:13,059
- Bolts?
- Yeah.
1061
00:57:13,061 --> 00:57:14,661
The zombies
out on the plains.
1062
00:57:14,663 --> 00:57:16,896
They're a lot tougher
than what we're used to.
1063
00:57:16,898 --> 00:57:19,898
I guess because of all
the running and hunting.
1064
00:57:19,900 --> 00:57:22,068
So we call them bolts,
as in usain.
1065
00:57:22,070 --> 00:57:23,603
As in pretty fucking athletic.
1066
00:57:23,605 --> 00:57:25,472
No, that makes total sense.
1067
00:57:25,474 --> 00:57:27,974
- We call them t-800s.
- Terminator. Yes! I love it.
1068
00:57:27,976 --> 00:57:29,275
Really?
1069
00:57:29,277 --> 00:57:30,909
Yes. My favorite movie.
Well, t2.
1070
00:57:30,911 --> 00:57:32,744
Yeah, t2 is my
second favorite movie.
1071
00:57:32,746 --> 00:57:35,815
- What's number one?
- Uh, it's fantasia.
1072
00:57:36,983 --> 00:57:38,583
Well, anyhow,
1073
00:57:38,585 --> 00:57:40,552
the bolts' food sources
are running low,
1074
00:57:40,554 --> 00:57:42,655
so they're pushing east,
which is no bueno.
1075
00:57:42,657 --> 00:57:44,824
You know what else
is no bueno?
1076
00:57:44,826 --> 00:57:47,126
You murdered the beast.
1077
00:57:47,128 --> 00:57:50,063
Yeah, well, let me
call AAA for you.
1078
00:57:50,065 --> 00:57:52,498
I'm sure they'll be right over.
1079
00:57:52,500 --> 00:57:54,867
So you have to play
your cards as...
1080
00:57:54,869 --> 00:57:57,970
Whoo, that onesie was starting
to cut off my circulation.
1081
00:57:57,972 --> 00:58:00,907
- To your vagina?
- Your vagina.
1082
00:58:00,909 --> 00:58:02,907
What'll you have, Florida?
1083
00:58:02,909 --> 00:58:05,644
He strikes me as
the, uh, lemon drop type.
1084
00:58:05,646 --> 00:58:08,648
You know, something with an
umbrella or something like that.
1085
00:58:08,650 --> 00:58:11,251
I heard "something with
an umbrella." Make it two.
1086
00:58:11,253 --> 00:58:12,284
Three please. Three.
1087
00:58:12,286 --> 00:58:14,320
So that's your sidekick.
1088
00:58:14,322 --> 00:58:15,889
That's my partner.
1089
00:58:15,891 --> 00:58:18,490
You might look
at flagstaff and think:
1090
00:58:18,492 --> 00:58:21,126
"Oh, he's a little slight,
diminutive."
1091
00:58:21,128 --> 00:58:24,998
Effeminate even, but he's
a real beast in battle. Yeah.
1092
00:58:25,000 --> 00:58:28,133
Come on. You're being sweet.
You sweet, sweet man. Thank you.
1093
00:58:28,135 --> 00:58:29,834
- Well, I love you.
- Love you too.
1094
00:58:29,836 --> 00:58:32,472
Yeah, you know, tubbs
to my Crockett over here.
1095
00:58:32,474 --> 00:58:35,441
He may look a little bookish,
but he's an animal too.
1096
00:58:35,443 --> 00:58:38,144
He eats zombies for breakfast,
shits them out by lunch.
1097
00:58:38,146 --> 00:58:39,644
Cheers.
1098
00:58:39,646 --> 00:58:41,847
He shits out
everything by lunch.
1099
00:58:44,452 --> 00:58:46,719
What the hell was that?
1100
00:58:50,625 --> 00:58:52,224
They must have
followed you.
1101
00:58:52,226 --> 00:58:54,293
Oh, god, those are t-800s.
1102
00:58:54,295 --> 00:58:56,162
Or at the very least t-700s.
1103
00:58:56,164 --> 00:58:58,930
- There was no t-700.
- Yeah, t-800's the first model.
1104
00:58:58,932 --> 00:59:02,001
This is great,
having the two of you.
1105
00:59:02,003 --> 00:59:04,604
Okay.
Time to nut up or shut up.
1106
00:59:04,606 --> 00:59:07,474
That saying's very 2009.
1107
00:59:11,012 --> 00:59:13,845
- Okay. We got this.
- Ho!
1108
00:59:13,847 --> 00:59:16,115
You don't send a boy
to do a man's job.
1109
00:59:16,117 --> 00:59:18,450
We brought them here.
We'll take care of it.
1110
00:59:18,452 --> 00:59:20,985
Yeah, you know what?
Have at 'em.
1111
00:59:20,987 --> 00:59:23,121
You have a safe word
in case things go bad?
1112
00:59:23,123 --> 00:59:24,691
Heh, that's good.
Come on, flag,
1113
00:59:24,693 --> 00:59:26,793
let's show these fuckers
how it's done.
1114
00:59:26,795 --> 00:59:28,860
Sure. You got it, boss.
1115
00:59:28,862 --> 00:59:31,363
Hasta la vista, baby.
Terminator 2.
1116
00:59:31,365 --> 00:59:33,699
- Remember?
- Ready, buddy?
1117
00:59:33,701 --> 00:59:35,867
He's so cool.
1118
00:59:35,869 --> 00:59:38,204
Whoo, heh, heh!
Suck these bullets!
1119
00:59:38,206 --> 00:59:39,673
Come on! Get you some!
1120
00:59:39,675 --> 00:59:42,675
Anybody else find those
two uniquely annoying?
1121
00:59:42,677 --> 00:59:45,113
- Get it!
- Uniquely? No.
1122
00:59:47,081 --> 00:59:48,882
Well, I don't love
their chances.
1123
00:59:48,884 --> 00:59:51,684
They ignored rule 52,
don't be afraid to ask for help.
1124
00:59:51,686 --> 00:59:54,019
Get fucked in the face, bitch!
1125
00:59:54,021 --> 00:59:55,688
- Flagstaff?
- Yeah, boss?
1126
00:59:55,690 --> 00:59:58,724
You made the all-star team
today. I mean, no kidding.
1127
00:59:58,726 --> 01:00:00,059
Unbelievable job.
1128
01:00:00,061 --> 01:00:01,927
And is it me,
or are those bolts
1129
01:00:01,929 --> 01:00:04,030
they're just getting meaner
by the day?
1130
01:00:04,032 --> 01:00:07,032
- They're full-blown dickheads.
- I got an action shot of you
1131
01:00:07,034 --> 01:00:09,269
that's going right
into the scrapbook.
1132
01:00:09,271 --> 01:00:12,371
This is gonna be a good one.
You just keep raising the bar,
1133
01:00:12,373 --> 01:00:15,907
and that's why we will continue
to ride these highways together.
1134
01:00:15,909 --> 01:00:18,344
- I'm so proud of you.
- I learned from the best.
1135
01:00:18,346 --> 01:00:20,380
- Oh, come on now.
- Nice work, querq.
1136
01:00:20,382 --> 01:00:21,748
Thank you. Thank you.
1137
01:00:21,750 --> 01:00:24,282
This is gonna be
a hell of a shot. Ha, ha!
1138
01:00:24,284 --> 01:00:26,751
It's so cool he let you
wear the hat.
1139
01:00:26,753 --> 01:00:28,287
- Querq?
- Yeah?
1140
01:00:28,289 --> 01:00:31,157
I think you got
a little something here.
1141
01:00:32,827 --> 01:00:34,325
Oh, what, that?
1142
01:00:35,896 --> 01:00:39,231
Oh, yeah, that's just...
That's just a tattoo.
1143
01:00:41,235 --> 01:00:44,170
Sorry, you got a tattoo
of a zombie bite?
1144
01:00:44,172 --> 01:00:48,074
No, it's just a tattoo
I got one night in bernalillo.
1145
01:00:48,076 --> 01:00:49,076
Huh.
1146
01:00:50,143 --> 01:00:51,476
All right, everybody.
1147
01:00:51,478 --> 01:00:55,148
Just take it easy.
Everything's fine.
1148
01:00:55,150 --> 01:00:57,950
Nevada, why don't you whip up
some of your signature...
1149
01:01:01,956 --> 01:01:04,590
All right.
That was a little weird, huh?
1150
01:01:04,592 --> 01:01:07,659
- Yeah.
- All right. Just calm down.
1151
01:01:07,661 --> 01:01:09,595
We'll just
have a drink, you know.
1152
01:01:10,898 --> 01:01:13,934
So we can just kind
of celeb... celeb...
1153
01:01:17,003 --> 01:01:19,237
Excuse me. It's okay.
1154
01:01:19,239 --> 01:01:21,773
It's just nerves
from the fight. Just...
1155
01:01:22,909 --> 01:01:24,309
Uh, you guys, I think
1156
01:01:24,311 --> 01:01:26,512
Albuquerque might be infected.
1157
01:01:26,514 --> 01:01:28,313
Me? I'm infected?
1158
01:01:29,351 --> 01:01:30,682
You got bit twice.
1159
01:01:30,684 --> 01:01:32,717
- Ah, flagstaff!
- No, no. That's a lie.
1160
01:01:32,719 --> 01:01:34,720
Trust me. Okay? Trust me.
1161
01:01:34,722 --> 01:01:36,356
I don't get bit.
I never get bit.
1162
01:01:36,358 --> 01:01:38,490
I don't get bit either.
We're slippery.
1163
01:01:38,492 --> 01:01:39,858
- See?
- I know. Are you okay?
1164
01:01:39,860 --> 01:01:41,994
- I'm fine. I'm totally fine.
- You are?
1165
01:01:41,996 --> 01:01:44,066
- I'm fine.
- Okay, he's fine. He's fine.
1166
01:01:45,166 --> 01:01:46,865
No, he's not fine. No.
1167
01:01:46,867 --> 01:01:50,869
No. You're starting to look
like a t-800. Terminator 2.
1168
01:01:53,074 --> 01:01:54,509
No. No, no, no!
1169
01:01:55,543 --> 01:01:57,376
No!
1170
01:01:57,378 --> 01:01:58,476
Aah!
1171
01:01:58,478 --> 01:02:01,146
Move! Move!
Get out of the way.
1172
01:02:01,148 --> 01:02:03,282
Aah! Aah!
1173
01:02:03,284 --> 01:02:04,284
Ow!
1174
01:02:07,054 --> 01:02:08,454
No! No!
1175
01:02:09,958 --> 01:02:11,322
Flagstaff, you're breaking
1176
01:02:11,324 --> 01:02:13,094
like 10 commandments right now!
1177
01:02:19,065 --> 01:02:21,936
This is for what you did
to the beast! Unh!
1178
01:02:23,538 --> 01:02:24,570
Sorry!
1179
01:02:26,306 --> 01:02:27,539
- How you doing?
- Bad!
1180
01:02:27,541 --> 01:02:29,141
- How are you?
- Bad!
1181
01:02:30,811 --> 01:02:32,681
Sorry, shoes. Sorry, Elvis.
1182
01:02:39,688 --> 01:02:41,088
Oh, shit. Oh!
1183
01:02:42,722 --> 01:02:45,691
- How you doing now?
- Still bad! You wanna switch?
1184
01:02:45,693 --> 01:02:48,461
Switch?
How would that benefit me?
1185
01:02:56,536 --> 01:02:57,605
Shit!
1186
01:03:04,746 --> 01:03:08,583
- Help! Shoot him! Shoot him!
- I don't wanna hit you!
1187
01:03:13,420 --> 01:03:14,586
Shit.
1188
01:03:14,588 --> 01:03:17,159
Gun, gun, gun! Oh, shit!
1189
01:03:20,195 --> 01:03:22,128
Stop shooting! I got this!
1190
01:03:22,130 --> 01:03:23,498
Great, because I'm reloading!
1191
01:03:32,572 --> 01:03:36,474
Don't swing! Don't swing!
Don't swing! Swing!
1192
01:03:36,476 --> 01:03:38,443
Shit!
1193
01:03:38,445 --> 01:03:41,179
No, no, no, not me!
Not me! Oh, fuck!
1194
01:03:41,181 --> 01:03:44,316
Hasta la vista, baby.
1195
01:03:44,318 --> 01:03:46,621
Thank you. Thank you very much.
1196
01:03:47,956 --> 01:03:50,688
Those guys are dicks.
1197
01:03:50,690 --> 01:03:52,325
Great job.
1198
01:03:52,327 --> 01:03:53,626
Thank you.
1199
01:03:53,628 --> 01:03:56,528
- Ah. Can I wear the hat?
- Oh, negatory.
1200
01:03:56,530 --> 01:04:00,199
- Cool.
- Zombie kill of the year?
1201
01:04:00,201 --> 01:04:03,336
Mm, sorry.
Not with the performance just turned in
1202
01:04:03,338 --> 01:04:05,037
by Matteo Bianchi
of pisa, Italy.
1203
01:04:05,139 --> 01:04:08,941
Help! I'm a lost
tourist with two defenseless children.
1204
01:04:10,180 --> 01:04:11,180
Help!
1205
01:04:14,184 --> 01:04:16,384
Fucking sons of bitches!
1206
01:04:19,987 --> 01:04:21,889
Yeah, yeah. That pisa.
1207
01:04:22,058 --> 01:04:23,858
You won't eat me.
1208
01:04:24,561 --> 01:04:26,261
Not today!
1209
01:04:33,002 --> 01:04:34,702
Go fuck yourselves!
1210
01:04:36,003 --> 01:04:37,471
Bravisimmo, Mateo.
1211
01:04:40,375 --> 01:04:43,342
Ahh, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday!
1212
01:04:43,344 --> 01:04:45,911
Jesus, big fat death is right.
1213
01:04:45,913 --> 01:04:48,648
That thing is, like,
a huge rollover risk.
1214
01:04:48,650 --> 01:04:50,383
It is.
1215
01:04:50,385 --> 01:04:53,818
Hey, dude, I think you should
ask her to come with us.
1216
01:04:53,820 --> 01:04:55,054
- No, no, no.
- Come on, yes.
1217
01:04:55,056 --> 01:04:57,188
I think they make
a nice match.
1218
01:04:57,190 --> 01:04:59,157
Look, what have I been
telling you guys?
1219
01:04:59,159 --> 01:05:01,327
I'm trying to shed baggage,
not pick it up.
1220
01:05:01,329 --> 01:05:04,429
- Yeah.
- Besides, she wouldn't do that.
1221
01:05:04,431 --> 01:05:05,866
She's not the type.
1222
01:05:08,936 --> 01:05:10,505
Stay safe,
sunshine state.
1223
01:05:12,472 --> 01:05:14,009
Excuse me.
1224
01:05:18,313 --> 01:05:20,045
Stay dangerous, Nevada.
1225
01:05:28,155 --> 01:05:32,258
Okay. Hey, no offense, but
my sister is still out there.
1226
01:05:32,260 --> 01:05:34,596
Wanna hit the old road.
1227
01:05:35,929 --> 01:05:38,098
If by some miracle
you don't die...
1228
01:05:39,833 --> 01:05:42,436
There's always room
in my driveway.
1229
01:05:45,105 --> 01:05:46,574
I best stay alive.
1230
01:05:49,309 --> 01:05:50,876
Okay, you're back. Good.
1231
01:05:50,878 --> 01:05:53,244
Do you know how to drive
one of these things?
1232
01:05:53,246 --> 01:05:56,548
I'm gonna just pop that puppy
off of there
1233
01:05:56,550 --> 01:05:59,050
and then you guys can jump in.
1234
01:05:59,052 --> 01:06:00,487
Nice.
1235
01:06:02,590 --> 01:06:05,458
She's a big old stallion,
but I can tame her.
1236
01:06:12,333 --> 01:06:13,802
Whoo!
1237
01:06:17,771 --> 01:06:18,871
Oh, shit.
1238
01:06:23,110 --> 01:06:25,780
- I think he's got the hang of it.
- Shit!
1239
01:06:26,914 --> 01:06:28,748
- No. No, no.
- No, no, no.
1240
01:06:28,750 --> 01:06:30,916
Goddamn motherfucker!
1241
01:06:30,918 --> 01:06:32,019
Got it.
1242
01:06:39,059 --> 01:06:42,628
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!
1243
01:06:42,630 --> 01:06:44,332
Maybe you should
leave a note.
1244
01:06:45,934 --> 01:06:47,266
That's your department.
1245
01:06:52,139 --> 01:06:55,539
I... I just can't do it.
1246
01:06:55,541 --> 01:06:56,810
Yeah. I'll drive.
1247
01:07:03,483 --> 01:07:05,085
What was that?
1248
01:07:06,353 --> 01:07:07,619
Satisfying.
1249
01:07:13,293 --> 01:07:15,094
Teamwork. Always put
the team first.
1250
01:07:15,096 --> 01:07:17,195
I can't believe
I didn't have that. Stupid.
1251
01:07:17,197 --> 01:07:19,632
You know, if flagstaff
was so great,
1252
01:07:19,634 --> 01:07:23,001
then where was
the undeniably gorgeous
1253
01:07:23,003 --> 01:07:25,938
but emotionally inaccessible
Kansas City?
1254
01:07:25,940 --> 01:07:27,505
I don't know. Maybe she split
1255
01:07:27,507 --> 01:07:30,043
because she thought
they had a random relationship.
1256
01:07:30,045 --> 01:07:33,144
Or maybe she was
just about to come back
1257
01:07:33,146 --> 01:07:36,351
under the thinly veiled cover
of needing guns and ammo.
1258
01:07:37,550 --> 01:07:40,151
Wait,
what are you getting at?
1259
01:07:40,153 --> 01:07:42,720
I think you're smart enough
to figure it out...
1260
01:07:42,722 --> 01:07:44,724
Oh, my god.
1261
01:07:44,726 --> 01:07:46,758
You gotta be kidding me.
1262
01:07:46,760 --> 01:07:48,195
You gotta be kidding me.
1263
01:07:49,530 --> 01:07:51,597
You gotta be kidding me!
1264
01:07:51,599 --> 01:07:53,932
You gotta be fucking
kidding me.
1265
01:07:53,934 --> 01:07:55,534
Why the hell
is she still alive?
1266
01:07:55,536 --> 01:07:59,237
Oh, my god, I literally
missed you guys. Yay!
1267
01:07:59,239 --> 01:08:00,240
Oh, my god.
1268
01:08:01,942 --> 01:08:03,842
Whoa!
1269
01:08:03,844 --> 01:08:05,344
Just... no, just look ahead.
1270
01:08:05,346 --> 01:08:08,079
Hi, old guy!
1271
01:08:08,081 --> 01:08:09,514
Let's hang out.
1272
01:08:09,516 --> 01:08:11,284
- Ha-ha-ha!
- It is so weird to see you.
1273
01:08:11,286 --> 01:08:13,418
The last time I saw you,
you were like a...
1274
01:08:13,420 --> 01:08:14,887
- You were a zombie.
- I wish.
1275
01:08:14,889 --> 01:08:16,921
Stupid nut allergy.
1276
01:08:16,923 --> 01:08:18,557
- Nut allergy? Oh.
- Yeah.
1277
01:08:18,559 --> 01:08:21,160
Yeah, I think it was
the trail mix Wichita gave me.
1278
01:08:21,162 --> 01:08:23,262
Who knew there were nuts
in trail mix.
1279
01:08:23,264 --> 01:08:25,330
Not me. I thought it was vegan.
1280
01:08:25,332 --> 01:08:26,865
I kept trying to tell you
1281
01:08:26,867 --> 01:08:29,335
it was only an allergic
reaction, but you thought
1282
01:08:29,337 --> 01:08:31,736
- I was trying to bite you.
- Yeah, well...
1283
01:08:31,738 --> 01:08:35,440
- Not that you minded last time.
- Mm.
1284
01:08:35,442 --> 01:08:37,343
Thank you for shooting
over my head.
1285
01:08:37,345 --> 01:08:39,512
I was really just trying
to scare you off.
1286
01:08:39,514 --> 01:08:41,513
You're not gonna get rid
of me that easy.
1287
01:08:41,515 --> 01:08:43,115
- Oh, no!
- Ha-ha-ha.
1288
01:08:43,117 --> 01:08:46,785
There I was, hiding in
the woods, when I thought:
1289
01:08:46,787 --> 01:08:50,990
"I used to live in a freezer,
so why not a freezer on wheels?"
1290
01:08:50,992 --> 01:08:53,092
Can't argue
with that logic.
1291
01:08:53,094 --> 01:08:55,561
I really miss this.
1292
01:08:55,563 --> 01:08:57,595
Was that sarcasm?
1293
01:08:57,597 --> 01:08:59,232
Was it?
1294
01:08:59,234 --> 01:09:00,234
Mm-hm.
1295
01:09:05,006 --> 01:09:07,673
Why wouldn't we
just move to an island?
1296
01:09:07,675 --> 01:09:09,273
That's a really
good idea.
1297
01:09:09,275 --> 01:09:10,809
Then there
wouldn't be zombies.
1298
01:09:10,811 --> 01:09:12,311
- Right.
- Of course.
1299
01:09:12,313 --> 01:09:14,548
We should go
to temptation island.
1300
01:09:16,449 --> 01:09:18,584
Hey, hey, hey.
Hey, hey, hey. Hey, hey.
1301
01:09:18,586 --> 01:09:20,085
- What?
- Hey, hey.
1302
01:09:20,087 --> 01:09:22,219
- Hey, hey. Hey, hey.
- Hey, hey.
1303
01:09:22,221 --> 01:09:24,055
Just... just eyes
on the road.
1304
01:09:24,057 --> 01:09:26,724
Do you want me to change
the cd or anything?
1305
01:09:26,726 --> 01:09:28,393
Is this a cd playing?
1306
01:09:28,395 --> 01:09:29,928
- Yeah. It's port...
- What is this?
1307
01:09:29,930 --> 01:09:31,964
It's portishead.
1308
01:09:31,966 --> 01:09:34,333
- This is portishead?
- Yeah. You know what's funny?
1309
01:09:34,335 --> 01:09:36,501
I used to think
it was called "portashed"
1310
01:09:36,503 --> 01:09:39,303
until I went to one of
the concerts, and she explained.
1311
01:09:39,305 --> 01:09:40,973
Yeah, I would think
"portasheed."
1312
01:09:40,975 --> 01:09:43,976
- Right. Yeah, that's funny.
- Yeah.
1313
01:09:43,978 --> 01:09:45,643
It was obvious to me
1314
01:09:45,645 --> 01:09:47,845
that Wichita and I
were meant to be together,
1315
01:09:47,847 --> 01:09:49,313
which is why Madison's return
1316
01:09:49,315 --> 01:09:50,950
could not have been
worse timing.
1317
01:09:50,952 --> 01:09:53,018
Of course, I was glad
she wasn't a zombie.
1318
01:09:53,020 --> 01:09:55,857
But couldn't she have just
gone back to her mall fridge?
1319
01:09:58,525 --> 01:10:00,994
Hey. Hey, look,
look, look. Look.
1320
01:10:04,731 --> 01:10:05,830
Look.
1321
01:10:09,470 --> 01:10:12,137
We made it to baby-lon.
1322
01:10:12,139 --> 01:10:15,708
If you hear more than
the usual excitement in my voice,
1323
01:10:15,710 --> 01:10:17,476
it's for two reasons.
1324
01:10:17,478 --> 01:10:20,211
One, we may have caught up
to little rock,
1325
01:10:20,213 --> 01:10:21,414
for real this time.
1326
01:10:21,416 --> 01:10:22,947
And two, we may have
1327
01:10:22,949 --> 01:10:25,183
finally found our forever home,
1328
01:10:25,185 --> 01:10:27,486
which is what I've been
looking for all along.
1329
01:10:27,488 --> 01:10:30,990
- Whoa, Babylon.
- I love that song.
1330
01:10:30,992 --> 01:10:33,791
- Hm?
- This place is soy cute.
1331
01:10:38,966 --> 01:10:42,032
- Whoa, Jesus!
- What the fuck?
1332
01:10:42,034 --> 01:10:45,236
- Enjoy the little things.
- My bags were in there!
1333
01:10:45,238 --> 01:10:48,040
- No, they weren't.
- No guns allowed!
1334
01:10:50,077 --> 01:10:52,677
I like this place already.
You got a sense of humor.
1335
01:10:52,679 --> 01:10:54,412
No guns allowed.
1336
01:10:54,414 --> 01:10:59,018
I'm not giving up my guns under
any circumstances, period-o.
1337
01:10:59,020 --> 01:11:01,920
Well, then, there's no way
you're getting up to Babylon.
1338
01:11:01,922 --> 01:11:03,957
You know, you could
always wait in the car.
1339
01:11:07,628 --> 01:11:09,463
Do you wanna see
little rock or not?
1340
01:11:23,409 --> 01:11:25,210
There she is!
1341
01:11:25,212 --> 01:11:27,344
I'm on a 40-day bowel blast.
1342
01:11:27,346 --> 01:11:28,615
Little rock.
1343
01:11:30,184 --> 01:11:33,018
- Hey.
- Hi.
1344
01:11:33,020 --> 01:11:34,419
What are you guys
doing here?
1345
01:11:34,421 --> 01:11:36,054
I am so glad you're safe.
1346
01:11:36,056 --> 01:11:37,723
- Wow, okay.
- Oh, my god.
1347
01:11:37,725 --> 01:11:39,125
- Come here.
- Hello.
1348
01:11:39,127 --> 01:11:40,960
Seriously, what are
you doing here?
1349
01:11:40,962 --> 01:11:43,062
Hey, we don't leave
each other.
1350
01:11:43,064 --> 01:11:44,696
I know, I know.
I'm really sorry.
1351
01:11:44,698 --> 01:11:46,898
Make me a pact.
No more notes. Ever.
1352
01:11:46,900 --> 01:11:48,767
- No more notes. Ever.
- Ever. Great.
1353
01:11:48,769 --> 01:11:50,637
Just so you know,
there's no group sex.
1354
01:11:51,972 --> 01:11:54,106
- Okay, fine, group sex.
- Oh, whoa.
1355
01:11:54,108 --> 01:11:56,441
Hey, Wichita. That means
you're Columbus,
1356
01:11:56,443 --> 01:11:58,611
and that makes you Tallahassee.
1357
01:11:58,613 --> 01:12:00,611
- Berkeley?
- You're from Berkeley?
1358
01:12:00,613 --> 01:12:02,446
- You're Berkeley?
- No, come on.
1359
01:12:02,448 --> 01:12:04,683
What are the chances
we're both from Berkeley?
1360
01:12:04,685 --> 01:12:06,619
- Berkeley!
- Calm down, calm down. Okay?
1361
01:12:06,621 --> 01:12:08,987
Thank you for coming
to check up on me, I guess.
1362
01:12:08,989 --> 01:12:11,757
But you have to understand
these people are peaceful,
1363
01:12:11,759 --> 01:12:13,491
and they're friendly and nice.
1364
01:12:13,493 --> 01:12:16,193
And honestly, I don't think
you're gonna fit in here.
1365
01:12:16,195 --> 01:12:19,630
- They melted our fucking weapons!
- This is exactly what I meant.
1366
01:12:19,632 --> 01:12:22,267
Guys, I think
we should stay.
1367
01:12:22,269 --> 01:12:25,004
- You don't get a vote.
- I do get a vote.
1368
01:12:25,006 --> 01:12:27,138
Haven't you ever heard
of women suffering?
1369
01:12:27,140 --> 01:12:28,343
Women's suffrage?
1370
01:12:29,443 --> 01:12:31,343
- No, honey.
- Oh, boy.
1371
01:12:31,345 --> 01:12:33,079
- Who the hell is this?
- I'm Madison.
1372
01:12:33,081 --> 01:12:34,646
- Don't say it.
- You'll love this.
1373
01:12:34,648 --> 01:12:37,348
- Don't say it.
- That's Columbus' girlfriend.
1374
01:12:37,350 --> 01:12:38,683
It's official.
1375
01:12:38,685 --> 01:12:39,852
Wow, you just didn't
1376
01:12:39,854 --> 01:12:41,419
waste any time, did you?
1377
01:12:41,421 --> 01:12:44,121
- Well, thank you for your vote.
- And you're welcome.
1378
01:12:44,123 --> 01:12:47,293
Okay. I'm late for my
drum circle, so I gotta go.
1379
01:12:47,295 --> 01:12:48,526
Hey, little rock!
1380
01:12:48,528 --> 01:12:50,329
Sorry about that.
1381
01:13:00,341 --> 01:13:02,040
Seeing little rock safe
1382
01:13:02,042 --> 01:13:04,041
and surrounded by friends
her own age,
1383
01:13:04,043 --> 01:13:07,312
Tallahassee realized
his nest was now empty.
1384
01:13:07,314 --> 01:13:09,647
And he began to hear
the call of the buffalo.
1385
01:13:16,390 --> 01:13:18,589
All right, I'm ready!
1386
01:13:18,591 --> 01:13:21,026
Come on, don't be
so Gloria glum.
1387
01:13:21,028 --> 01:13:22,660
I told you guys
I was leaving.
1388
01:13:22,662 --> 01:13:24,564
So, what, you're
just gonna split?
1389
01:13:27,067 --> 01:13:30,902
It's time. Gotta set out
on my own adventures.
1390
01:13:30,904 --> 01:13:32,836
Little rock's
safe,
1391
01:13:32,838 --> 01:13:35,777
and, uh,
a lone wolf's gotta hunt.
1392
01:13:37,077 --> 01:13:38,544
So where are you gonna go?
1393
01:13:38,546 --> 01:13:41,416
The direction's
the destination. West.
1394
01:13:43,717 --> 01:13:46,050
West is that way.
1395
01:13:46,052 --> 01:13:50,589
Yeah. Anyway, like the title of
a great Phil Collins song:
1396
01:13:50,591 --> 01:13:54,226
"If you love somebody,
set them free."
1397
01:13:54,228 --> 01:13:56,661
- Pretty sure that wasn't him.
- Pretty sure it was.
1398
01:13:56,663 --> 01:13:58,965
- No, it was someone else.
- Pretty sure it was him.
1399
01:14:00,935 --> 01:14:02,701
Yeah. Peace.
1400
01:14:02,703 --> 01:14:07,304
Uh, I'm not much
for goodbyes, so...
1401
01:14:07,306 --> 01:14:08,973
Just don't say
the pig thing.
1402
01:14:08,975 --> 01:14:11,076
Keep your tits dry.
1403
01:14:11,078 --> 01:14:13,478
- Oh, okay.
- Didn't see that coming, right?
1404
01:14:13,480 --> 01:14:15,412
I would've rather
the pig thing.
1405
01:14:20,154 --> 01:14:21,155
Hey.
1406
01:14:22,588 --> 01:14:25,025
Hey, don't do nothing
I wouldn't not do.
1407
01:14:26,627 --> 01:14:28,826
- You get what I'm saying.
- Not really, no.
1408
01:14:28,828 --> 01:14:30,428
No? Okay.
1409
01:14:31,564 --> 01:14:34,434
Anyway, gonna miss you guys.
1410
01:14:42,810 --> 01:14:44,942
I will never forget you,
what's-his-name.
1411
01:14:44,944 --> 01:14:47,144
- See you, pals.
- It's Tallahassee. I told you.
1412
01:14:47,146 --> 01:14:48,914
Sally tally!
1413
01:15:20,514 --> 01:15:22,315
T-800s.
1414
01:15:25,217 --> 01:15:26,319
That decides it.
1415
01:15:50,444 --> 01:15:52,843
Coming to you. Oh!
1416
01:15:52,845 --> 01:15:54,946
There it is. Let's start again.
1417
01:15:54,948 --> 01:15:56,815
Oh, it's all right.
I got it.
1418
01:15:56,817 --> 01:15:59,018
Excuse me. Yes. I got it.
1419
01:15:59,020 --> 01:16:01,186
- You're supposed to kick it back.
- Really?
1420
01:16:01,188 --> 01:16:04,158
- You never seen hacky sack?
- I thought it's like hopscotch.
1421
01:16:05,826 --> 01:16:08,492
- Salty Taffy's back!
- Holy shit!
1422
01:16:08,494 --> 01:16:11,995
Hey, t-800s, a whole swarm
of them, heading right this way.
1423
01:16:11,997 --> 01:16:16,267
Those goddamn fireworks
might as well be a dinner bell!
1424
01:16:16,269 --> 01:16:18,870
Stop the fireworks!
Stop the music!
1425
01:16:18,872 --> 01:16:20,839
Everybody shut the fuck up!
1426
01:16:20,841 --> 01:16:21,940
Shut up.
1427
01:16:21,942 --> 01:16:23,607
Question:
1428
01:16:23,609 --> 01:16:26,244
Did you melt all the weapons?
1429
01:16:26,246 --> 01:16:28,713
Yeah, that's how we made
these peace thingies.
1430
01:16:28,715 --> 01:16:30,648
- Oh, Jesus.
- My guns!
1431
01:16:30,650 --> 01:16:32,750
Hey. Hello.
I got something going.
1432
01:16:32,752 --> 01:16:34,585
I think I might have a plan.
1433
01:16:34,587 --> 01:16:36,754
- Oh.
- What?
1434
01:16:36,756 --> 01:16:39,691
Heh, I got nothing.
I'm just a songwriter.
1435
01:16:39,693 --> 01:16:41,559
No. No, you're
a song transcriber.
1436
01:16:41,561 --> 01:16:43,394
- Listen, Berkeley?
- Yeah?
1437
01:16:43,396 --> 01:16:45,229
I don't think this
is gonna work out.
1438
01:16:45,231 --> 01:16:46,731
Even 12-year-olds know
1439
01:16:46,733 --> 01:16:49,067
who Bob Dylan is,
you fucking poser.
1440
01:16:49,069 --> 01:16:52,204
Oh, my god. I'm not gonna lie,
I have truly enjoyed
1441
01:16:52,206 --> 01:16:54,873
this moment, but there
are zombies approaching.
1442
01:16:54,875 --> 01:16:59,009
Okay. Uh, civil war general,
you must know how to fight?
1443
01:16:59,011 --> 01:17:00,277
Sure.
1444
01:17:00,279 --> 01:17:03,882
Poverty, sexism,
social injustice.
1445
01:17:03,884 --> 01:17:06,351
- We could try running.
- I'm done running.
1446
01:17:06,353 --> 01:17:09,487
I mean, what good is a home
if you can't stay in it?
1447
01:17:09,489 --> 01:17:12,055
- Columbus.
- Yes, Thor?
1448
01:17:12,057 --> 01:17:13,791
You're gonna make me
cry right now.
1449
01:17:13,793 --> 01:17:15,293
- No, please don't.
- Oh, my god.
1450
01:17:15,295 --> 01:17:17,161
Okay. I moved through it.
1451
01:17:17,163 --> 01:17:19,798
From where I stand, there's
only one thing we can do.
1452
01:17:19,800 --> 01:17:21,502
Group sex.
Right?
1453
01:17:22,935 --> 01:17:24,704
No. Um...
1454
01:17:26,006 --> 01:17:28,171
We'll fight them.
1455
01:17:28,173 --> 01:17:31,476
You'll be the first to die,
but I like your enthusiasm.
1456
01:17:31,478 --> 01:17:34,047
- You might die.
- Thank you for your sacrifice.
1457
01:17:37,417 --> 01:17:39,651
All right,
everybody, listen up.
1458
01:17:39,653 --> 01:17:43,588
They outnumber us 100 times,
but they ain't got what we do.
1459
01:17:43,590 --> 01:17:45,290
- Guns?
- We don't have guns.
1460
01:17:45,292 --> 01:17:46,857
- What?
- What we do have
1461
01:17:46,859 --> 01:17:50,294
is heart, brains
and biodiesel.
1462
01:17:50,296 --> 01:17:52,030
We're gonna light
these zombies up
1463
01:17:52,032 --> 01:17:54,098
like it's the fourth of July.
1464
01:17:54,100 --> 01:17:55,866
Then we hit the stragglers.
1465
01:17:55,868 --> 01:17:58,336
What we do is
we form a gauntlet.
1466
01:17:59,838 --> 01:18:02,139
One, two, three, yah!
1467
01:18:02,141 --> 01:18:04,643
- Then we mop them up.
- Sick.
1468
01:18:04,645 --> 01:18:07,544
- This is gonna work, right?
- It has to.
1469
01:18:17,757 --> 01:18:18,992
- Rolling. Whoa!
- Whoa, whoa!
1470
01:18:25,298 --> 01:18:26,664
- Keep screwing.
- Yeah, I am.
1471
01:18:26,666 --> 01:18:28,302
- Keep screwing.
- I am.
1472
01:18:42,983 --> 01:18:44,348
No turning back now.
1473
01:18:44,350 --> 01:18:47,119
Okay, there we go.
1474
01:18:47,121 --> 01:18:48,221
Nice.
1475
01:18:51,358 --> 01:18:53,458
Yeah. Oh, that's gonna work.
1476
01:18:55,828 --> 01:18:57,161
- Oh!
- Oh, that's pretty.
1477
01:18:57,163 --> 01:18:58,830
That means the zombies
are coming!
1478
01:18:58,832 --> 01:19:00,531
The zombies are coming!
1479
01:19:00,533 --> 01:19:03,404
- Time to nut up or shut up.
- You need a new line.
1480
01:19:04,970 --> 01:19:06,737
Let's kick some dicks.
1481
01:19:06,739 --> 01:19:09,674
Just because it rhymes doesn't
make it a great catchphrase.
1482
01:19:09,676 --> 01:19:11,308
- What's her problem?
- I don't know.
1483
01:19:11,310 --> 01:19:13,113
I like it when it rhymes.
1484
01:19:14,581 --> 01:19:16,880
- Here we go.
- Okay.
1485
01:19:33,632 --> 01:19:35,400
- Zombies, they're coming!
- Oh, dear.
1486
01:19:35,402 --> 01:19:37,802
Look out, guys!
Here they come. They're coming!
1487
01:19:37,804 --> 01:19:38,972
Battle stations!
1488
01:19:42,609 --> 01:19:43,609
Light them up!
1489
01:20:00,060 --> 01:20:02,596
Let's go, let's go!
Get up to safety.
1490
01:20:17,877 --> 01:20:19,313
Here we go.
1491
01:20:31,591 --> 01:20:33,959
Okay now, blow!
1492
01:20:33,961 --> 01:20:38,228
Come on. Now would be
an ideal time to blow.
1493
01:20:38,230 --> 01:20:40,667
- It's not working.
- Damn!
1494
01:20:46,573 --> 01:20:47,604
God!
1495
01:20:47,606 --> 01:20:49,139
Holy shit.
It worked.
1496
01:20:49,141 --> 01:20:51,476
- Oh, my god.
- Okay.
1497
01:20:51,478 --> 01:20:53,745
Okay. Here, now we
mop up the stragglers.
1498
01:20:53,747 --> 01:20:55,347
Okay. Yeah.
1499
01:20:58,752 --> 01:21:00,084
Oh, shit.
1500
01:21:00,086 --> 01:21:01,986
Would those be
considered stragglers?
1501
01:21:01,988 --> 01:21:03,823
Oh, boy. Here they come.
1502
01:21:05,158 --> 01:21:06,727
Get ready!
1503
01:21:16,737 --> 01:21:19,804
Kill those motherfuckers!
1504
01:21:34,054 --> 01:21:37,487
Well, guys, I hate to say this.
1505
01:21:37,489 --> 01:21:39,859
I think this might be
the end of the road.
1506
01:21:42,694 --> 01:21:44,227
- Come here.
- I love you guys.
1507
01:21:44,229 --> 01:21:46,199
- I love you more.
- We had a hell of a run.
1508
01:21:49,002 --> 01:21:50,471
Oh, my god.
They're gonna die.
1509
01:22:02,282 --> 01:22:03,417
Oh!
1510
01:22:06,720 --> 01:22:07,788
Hey!
1511
01:22:14,728 --> 01:22:17,227
Sunday, Sunday, Sunday!
1512
01:22:17,229 --> 01:22:19,132
Thank god for rednecks!
1513
01:22:27,707 --> 01:22:29,374
- Need a ride?
- Oh, yeah.
1514
01:22:29,376 --> 01:22:30,811
- Get in.
- Let's go!
1515
01:22:34,913 --> 01:22:38,282
- Are y'all strapped in yet?
- Yep. Strapping in now.
1516
01:22:38,284 --> 01:22:40,218
- Rule four. Got it.
- You too.
1517
01:22:40,220 --> 01:22:42,923
I'm not a pussy like Columbus.
Nothing personal.
1518
01:22:44,356 --> 01:22:45,757
- Oh, god!
- Shit!
1519
01:22:45,759 --> 01:22:47,261
- Seatbelts are for a reason.
- Yep.
1520
01:22:51,396 --> 01:22:53,196
I'm feeling
a little nauseous.
1521
01:22:53,198 --> 01:22:55,767
- Can somebody crack a window?
- Oh, no, you don't.
1522
01:22:55,769 --> 01:22:57,468
Whoa!
1523
01:22:57,470 --> 01:22:59,137
- Roll down the window.
- That won't...
1524
01:22:59,139 --> 01:23:01,141
If you get sick,
we all get sick.
1525
01:23:02,943 --> 01:23:04,808
Woo-hoo!
1526
01:23:04,810 --> 01:23:06,644
Okay, okay. Oh, god.
1527
01:23:06,646 --> 01:23:08,780
Could you pull over
so I can get eaten?
1528
01:23:08,782 --> 01:23:10,016
It'll be more comfortable.
1529
01:23:13,453 --> 01:23:15,821
Whoo!
1530
01:23:15,823 --> 01:23:17,191
- Oh, shit. Watch out!
- Do it!
1531
01:23:22,595 --> 01:23:23,696
Woo-hoo!
1532
01:23:25,832 --> 01:23:28,532
Oh, my god, you are sexy.
1533
01:23:28,534 --> 01:23:31,171
Can you not say "sexy"?
I'm already nauseous.
1534
01:23:36,510 --> 01:23:39,413
Shit, shit, shit!
Oh, shit.
1535
01:23:40,646 --> 01:23:41,778
Shit.
1536
01:23:41,780 --> 01:23:43,214
- Shit!
- You guys okay?
1537
01:23:43,216 --> 01:23:44,982
Thank you for flying
big fat death.
1538
01:23:44,984 --> 01:23:46,450
Let's go! Let's go!
Let's go!
1539
01:23:46,452 --> 01:23:48,652
I told you these things
were a rollover risk!
1540
01:23:48,654 --> 01:23:50,321
- We gotta move!
- Come on!
1541
01:23:50,323 --> 01:23:53,191
Hurry! Hurry! They're coming!
1542
01:23:53,193 --> 01:23:55,160
- Oh, no!
- Come on! Here they come!
1543
01:23:55,162 --> 01:23:56,697
- Go, go, go!
- Shit.
1544
01:23:57,831 --> 01:23:59,196
- Come on!
- Oh, shit!
1545
01:23:59,198 --> 01:24:01,633
Come on!
1546
01:24:01,635 --> 01:24:03,003
- Oh, shit!
- Shit!
1547
01:24:05,305 --> 01:24:06,305
Whoa!
1548
01:24:11,478 --> 01:24:12,510
- Thank you.
- Thank you!
1549
01:24:12,512 --> 01:24:14,245
- Oh, my god!
- Yes!
1550
01:24:14,247 --> 01:24:15,847
Here they come!
1551
01:24:20,654 --> 01:24:22,456
- Go, get in. Go, go, go!
- Go, go, go!
1552
01:24:26,292 --> 01:24:27,291
Run!
1553
01:24:30,329 --> 01:24:33,399
- I'm out of bullets!
- Guys, go! I'm right behind you!
1554
01:24:36,502 --> 01:24:39,572
Get in position! Form the
gauntlet! I'll hold them off!
1555
01:24:42,876 --> 01:24:45,212
Donkey Kong, motherfuckers!
1556
01:25:10,569 --> 01:25:13,071
You can't write
the history of zombieland
1557
01:25:13,073 --> 01:25:16,907
without telling the story
of one momentous day.
1558
01:25:16,909 --> 01:25:19,910
The day one free man
made the ultimate sacrifice
1559
01:25:19,912 --> 01:25:23,046
and paid respect
to the blackfoot ancestors
1560
01:25:23,048 --> 01:25:24,917
he may or may not have had.
1561
01:25:26,985 --> 01:25:30,554
The day he led the first,
the last, the only
1562
01:25:30,556 --> 01:25:31,925
great American zombie jump.
1563
01:26:00,587 --> 01:26:02,320
Zombie kill of the year?
1564
01:26:02,322 --> 01:26:03,988
Century.
1565
01:26:03,990 --> 01:26:06,624
Only one problem.
Well, okay, two.
1566
01:26:09,328 --> 01:26:10,328
Oh!
1567
01:26:15,167 --> 01:26:17,000
- Hey!
- Tallahassee!
1568
01:26:17,002 --> 01:26:19,836
- Hang on, we're coming.
- Hold on.
1569
01:26:19,838 --> 01:26:21,171
- Help! I'm falling!
- Shit!
1570
01:26:21,173 --> 01:26:23,040
We can't help you.
1571
01:26:23,042 --> 01:26:24,541
Guys! Help me!
1572
01:26:24,543 --> 01:26:27,044
- Shit. What should we do?
- Throw something at them.
1573
01:26:27,046 --> 01:26:29,813
Oh, shit. Okay. Shit. Sorry.
1574
01:26:29,815 --> 01:26:32,784
Wha... you hit me in the nuts
with a hacky sack!
1575
01:26:32,786 --> 01:26:34,018
- Sorry.
- What?
1576
01:26:34,020 --> 01:26:36,456
I'm losing my grip.
I'm gonna fall.
1577
01:26:37,823 --> 01:26:40,157
No! Oh, no!
1578
01:26:53,939 --> 01:26:55,576
Long live the king.
1579
01:26:56,976 --> 01:26:59,210
- Oh.
- Ew.
1580
01:26:59,212 --> 01:27:01,144
Guys! I'm still here!
1581
01:27:01,146 --> 01:27:03,113
- Give me your hand!
- Hold my arm.
1582
01:27:03,115 --> 01:27:05,782
- Kick your foot out.
- Goddamn it, Columbus!
1583
01:27:05,784 --> 01:27:07,218
Point your toe!
1584
01:27:07,220 --> 01:27:09,019
This human chain thing
is a terrible idea!
1585
01:27:09,021 --> 01:27:10,388
- Guh!
- I can't reach.
1586
01:27:10,390 --> 01:27:12,223
Kick it, kick it. I got it.
1587
01:27:12,225 --> 01:27:13,857
Pull, pull.
1588
01:27:13,859 --> 01:27:15,826
Okay. I got you.
1589
01:27:15,828 --> 01:27:17,160
Okay.
1590
01:27:17,162 --> 01:27:19,362
Oh, man. Are you okay?
1591
01:27:19,364 --> 01:27:21,232
- Yeah.
- That was amazing.
1592
01:27:21,234 --> 01:27:23,203
Oh... thank you.
1593
01:27:24,503 --> 01:27:25,505
Hey.
1594
01:27:28,407 --> 01:27:29,874
You kept the gun?
1595
01:27:29,876 --> 01:27:32,343
How could I give up
my favorite Christmas present?
1596
01:27:32,345 --> 01:27:34,044
Why didn't you
pull it out sooner?
1597
01:27:34,046 --> 01:27:36,613
I forget about it but...
I smoked a lot of weed.
1598
01:27:38,685 --> 01:27:40,120
Chip off the old block.
1599
01:27:43,422 --> 01:27:45,255
Yes.
1600
01:27:45,257 --> 01:27:47,627
Yes?
Oh, yes, yes?
1601
01:27:48,761 --> 01:27:49,761
Yes, yes.
1602
01:27:51,297 --> 01:27:52,463
Yes, yes, yes?
1603
01:27:52,465 --> 01:27:54,365
- Yes. Yes.
- Yes?
1604
01:27:54,367 --> 01:27:55,435
- Really?
- Mm-hm.
1605
01:27:57,871 --> 01:27:59,637
What changed your mind?
1606
01:27:59,639 --> 01:28:02,342
Because zombieland or not,
we're meant to be together.
1607
01:28:05,779 --> 01:28:10,581
So basically, that means
this belongs to her.
1608
01:28:10,583 --> 01:28:13,651
Oh, hm. Cool.
1609
01:28:13,653 --> 01:28:15,318
Thank you.
1610
01:28:15,320 --> 01:28:16,786
Okay.
1611
01:28:19,158 --> 01:28:21,125
- Okay. Are you ready?
- Yeah.
1612
01:28:21,127 --> 01:28:22,460
- Okay. I'm good.
- Okay.
1613
01:28:22,462 --> 01:28:24,963
- Yeah, do the damn thing. Yeah.
- Okay.
1614
01:28:24,965 --> 01:28:28,132
- Great. Which hand do I...?
- This one.
1615
01:28:28,134 --> 01:28:29,502
- Okay.
- Okay, yes. Here we go.
1616
01:28:34,039 --> 01:28:35,442
Wow.
1617
01:28:36,643 --> 01:28:37,911
Come here.
1618
01:28:42,414 --> 01:28:44,616
Nicely done.
1619
01:28:44,618 --> 01:28:48,585
I'm gonna walk that little
spitfuck down the aisle.
1620
01:28:48,587 --> 01:28:51,255
It's a good thing
you didn't die, then.
1621
01:28:51,257 --> 01:28:52,525
Washoe county.
1622
01:28:55,094 --> 01:28:57,928
- What?
- Washoe county, Nevada.
1623
01:28:57,930 --> 01:28:59,796
Ah, Reno.
1624
01:28:59,798 --> 01:29:01,702
Biggest little city
in the world.
1625
01:29:09,242 --> 01:29:10,508
- Just go for it.
- Thank you.
1626
01:29:10,510 --> 01:29:12,242
- Sweet.
- Oh, my god.
1627
01:29:13,578 --> 01:29:14,678
What? What?
1628
01:29:14,680 --> 01:29:16,216
- Oh, my gosh!
- Shit!
1629
01:29:21,253 --> 01:29:24,955
- Homer. It's a long way down.
- Our work here is done.
1630
01:29:24,957 --> 01:29:26,522
Let's party!
1631
01:29:26,524 --> 01:29:27,993
- Come on!
- Yeah!
1632
01:29:29,162 --> 01:29:30,361
Wait for me.
1633
01:29:53,219 --> 01:29:58,321
Hell, this is
a 1955 fleetwood series 60. Hoo!
1634
01:29:58,323 --> 01:30:02,527
Every hair on my body
feels like a little wang.
1635
01:30:02,529 --> 01:30:04,896
- Yikes.
- Where to?
1636
01:30:04,898 --> 01:30:07,330
Mm, how about home?
1637
01:30:07,332 --> 01:30:08,432
Home?
1638
01:30:08,434 --> 01:30:09,569
- Yeah.
- Yes, good idea.
1639
01:30:11,570 --> 01:30:12,605
Where's home?
1640
01:30:14,239 --> 01:30:17,008
I think we're already there.
1641
01:30:17,010 --> 01:30:18,710
Because if our adventures
1642
01:30:18,712 --> 01:30:21,378
had taught us about anything,
it was home.
1643
01:30:21,380 --> 01:30:23,546
Wichita didn't need
to be afraid of it.
1644
01:30:23,548 --> 01:30:25,581
I didn't need
to keep looking for it.
1645
01:30:25,583 --> 01:30:29,387
Because home isn't a place,
it's the people you're with.
1646
01:30:29,389 --> 01:30:31,688
I guess that's why
they're called your homies.
1647
01:30:31,690 --> 01:30:33,924
And my homies
are pretty fucking awesome.
1648
01:30:33,926 --> 01:30:36,527
So till next time,
this is Columbus, Ohio,
1649
01:30:36,529 --> 01:30:38,728
on behalf of Wichita,
little rock,
1650
01:30:38,730 --> 01:30:40,031
Reno and Tallahassee,
1651
01:30:40,033 --> 01:30:43,866
saying hasta la vista, baby.
1652
01:30:43,868 --> 01:30:45,402
That one's for you, flagstaff.
1653
01:31:05,591 --> 01:31:07,924
Oh, hey.
Yeah, sorry. One more thing.
1654
01:31:07,926 --> 01:31:10,527
I'm feeling a little guilty
about what Nevada said.
1655
01:31:10,529 --> 01:31:13,196
You know, about murraying
a certain you-know-who?
1656
01:31:13,198 --> 01:31:14,932
Yeah, my bad.
I blew a hole
1657
01:31:14,934 --> 01:31:17,367
through the finest comic actor
of our generation.
1658
01:31:17,369 --> 01:31:19,969
But I would love to make it up
to you, to all of you.
1659
01:31:19,971 --> 01:31:22,705
And for that,
we gotta go back to 2009.
1660
01:31:26,112 --> 01:31:27,477
Welcome, everyone,
1661
01:31:27,479 --> 01:31:29,613
to the Garfield 3: Flabby tabby
junket.
1662
01:31:29,615 --> 01:31:31,148
You'll each have five minutes.
1663
01:31:31,150 --> 01:31:33,451
Please keep your questions
focused on the film
1664
01:31:33,453 --> 01:31:35,152
and don't go off-topic.
1665
01:31:35,154 --> 01:31:37,321
The idea of a
trilogy was something...
1666
01:31:37,323 --> 01:31:40,790
As an artist,
you think the great ones:
1667
01:31:40,792 --> 01:31:42,759
Godfather and...
1668
01:31:42,761 --> 01:31:44,861
Uh, lethal weapon.
1669
01:31:44,863 --> 01:31:48,699
But the question is,
why in the world Garfield 3?
1670
01:31:48,701 --> 01:31:51,000
- Can this be just between us?
- Yes.
1671
01:31:51,002 --> 01:31:53,036
Drugs cost money.
1672
01:31:53,038 --> 01:31:54,772
And I have to say,
as an actor,
1673
01:31:54,774 --> 01:31:57,473
how many of your nine lives
do you think you have left?
1674
01:31:57,475 --> 01:32:01,012
Well, I've done three of these.
Three garfields.
1675
01:32:01,014 --> 01:32:02,312
So that's six.
1676
01:32:02,314 --> 01:32:04,281
The essence of Garfield,
I think...
1677
01:32:04,283 --> 01:32:05,348
Right.
1678
01:32:05,350 --> 01:32:07,550
...is the hairball.
1679
01:32:07,552 --> 01:32:10,019
Didn't I say? I had a feeling
this would come up.
1680
01:32:10,021 --> 01:32:11,992
Can you give me a hairball?
1681
01:32:14,527 --> 01:32:16,727
You don't wanna do the hairball
really quick?
1682
01:32:16,729 --> 01:32:18,495
- No.
- Can you try now?
1683
01:32:18,497 --> 01:32:21,065
- Give me a little hairball now?
- Come on.
1684
01:32:23,868 --> 01:32:24,938
Come on.
1685
01:32:30,877 --> 01:32:33,009
You know, how about if I
did it with you?
1686
01:32:33,011 --> 01:32:35,012
- Okay. Come on. Come on.
- That was close.
1687
01:32:35,014 --> 01:32:36,580
We'll do a selfie together.
1688
01:32:38,484 --> 01:32:39,916
Great. Great.
1689
01:32:42,954 --> 01:32:44,722
You all right, man?
1690
01:32:45,791 --> 01:32:47,023
All over the Mike.
1691
01:32:47,025 --> 01:32:48,625
Can we get a baby wipe
for al?
1692
01:32:48,627 --> 01:32:50,393
Maybe move him back
to his room?
1693
01:32:57,136 --> 01:32:58,905
Huge fan, Mr. Roker.
1694
01:33:01,239 --> 01:33:03,374
All right, Tim,
let's get out of here.
1695
01:33:03,376 --> 01:33:05,375
Somebody get my car.
I'm ready to go.
1696
01:33:05,377 --> 01:33:07,376
I've never seen roker
behave that way.
1697
01:33:07,378 --> 01:33:08,745
That was crazy.
1698
01:33:08,747 --> 01:33:10,815
Sometimes it feels like
you against the world.
1699
01:33:10,817 --> 01:33:12,249
- Oh, my god.
- I think it is.
1700
01:33:18,423 --> 01:33:19,555
Oh, dear.
1701
01:33:22,828 --> 01:33:23,964
Excuse me?
1702
01:33:32,238 --> 01:33:33,937
Nice!
1703
01:33:37,842 --> 01:33:39,209
Help me!
1704
01:33:42,414 --> 01:33:44,984
Bill Murray! I love some
of your films. Help me!
1705
01:33:48,287 --> 01:33:49,823
I ain't afraid of no ghost.
1706
01:33:54,394 --> 01:33:56,363
Buenas tardes, señorita.
1707
01:34:00,666 --> 01:34:02,665
I hate mondays.
1708
01:38:40,378 --> 01:38:43,013
Oh, pardon. En español,
it's like:
1709
01:38:50,389 --> 01:38:52,492
P... p... pardon my accent.