1 00:00:39,039 --> 00:00:41,209 CHRIS WALLACE: Good evening. I welcome you to the third 2 00:00:41,242 --> 00:00:43,577 and final of the 2016 presidential debates. 3 00:00:43,611 --> 00:00:46,046 DONALD TRUMP: We either have a country, or we don't. 4 00:00:46,080 --> 00:00:47,615 HILLARY CLINTON: Rounding up people who are undocumented... 5 00:00:47,648 --> 00:00:49,117 TRUMP: We have some bad hombres here. 6 00:00:49,150 --> 00:00:50,851 CLINTON: ...is an idea that is not in keeping 7 00:00:50,884 --> 00:00:52,786 -with who we are as a nation. -TRUMP: I tell it like it is. 8 00:00:52,820 --> 00:00:54,588 CLINTON: I'm happy to compare my 30 years of experience... 9 00:00:54,622 --> 00:00:55,856 TRUMP: The one thing you have 10 00:00:55,889 --> 00:00:57,691 over me is experience, but it's bad experience. 11 00:00:57,725 --> 00:00:59,593 We are going to make America great again, 12 00:00:59,627 --> 00:01:01,562 and it has to start now. 13 00:01:01,595 --> 00:01:03,231 CLINTON: I hope you will give me a chance 14 00:01:03,264 --> 00:01:04,965 to serve as your president. 15 00:01:04,998 --> 00:01:07,067 FAITH: Donald Trump told the American people 16 00:01:07,101 --> 00:01:09,570 the truth tonight, as he always does. 17 00:01:09,603 --> 00:01:12,039 GARY: Hillary Clinton is the real outsider. 18 00:01:12,072 --> 00:01:14,308 Look, whatever you think you saw tonight... 19 00:01:14,342 --> 00:01:16,377 You didn't. You actually saw what I saw, 20 00:01:16,410 --> 00:01:17,778 and I think that the American people... 21 00:01:17,811 --> 00:01:18,946 Would agree with me. 22 00:01:18,979 --> 00:01:20,814 As long as I say it repeatedly, doggedly... 23 00:01:20,848 --> 00:01:23,117 And with unearned confidence. 24 00:01:23,151 --> 00:01:25,286 I lie. 25 00:01:25,319 --> 00:01:26,754 I am lying to you. 26 00:01:26,787 --> 00:01:27,821 And you know I lie. 27 00:01:27,855 --> 00:01:29,390 I'm actually in this position 28 00:01:29,423 --> 00:01:31,925 because of how effectively I lie to you. 29 00:01:31,959 --> 00:01:33,060 Are we clear? 30 00:01:33,093 --> 00:01:34,995 We call this the spin room, without shame. 31 00:01:35,028 --> 00:01:37,998 Spinning is something you do to disorient people. 32 00:01:38,031 --> 00:01:40,501 And you all know that, and yet here we are. 33 00:01:40,534 --> 00:01:42,403 What a wonderful play we're putting on. 34 00:01:42,436 --> 00:01:43,937 Thank you all so much. 35 00:01:43,971 --> 00:01:45,173 And fuck you, America. 36 00:01:45,206 --> 00:01:47,408 I look forward to lying to you in the future. 37 00:01:47,441 --> 00:01:48,676 See you at the bar. 38 00:01:48,709 --> 00:01:50,944 -(reporters clamoring) -Thank you. 39 00:01:55,949 --> 00:01:57,951 -(explosive blast) -(grunts) 40 00:02:09,997 --> 00:02:11,199 LESTER HOLT: Shockwaves across America. 41 00:02:11,232 --> 00:02:12,466 NORAH O'DONNELL: His surprise victory 42 00:02:12,500 --> 00:02:13,701 defied preelection polling. 43 00:02:13,734 --> 00:02:15,102 JOHN HEILEMANN: Tectonic-plate-shifting, 44 00:02:15,135 --> 00:02:16,770 9.5 on the Richter scale earthquake. 45 00:02:16,804 --> 00:02:18,206 JOE SCARBOROUGH: So that's just a snapshot 46 00:02:18,239 --> 00:02:19,640 of the reaction we're getting this morning. 47 00:02:19,673 --> 00:02:21,108 And we're still trying to get 48 00:02:21,141 --> 00:02:23,511 our good old pal Gary Zimmer to talk to us. 49 00:02:23,544 --> 00:02:25,513 MIKA BRZEZINSKI: He's probably halfway to Canada by now. 50 00:02:25,546 --> 00:02:27,315 SCARBOROUGH: Yeah, maybe halfway to Canadian Club. 51 00:02:27,348 --> 00:02:29,983 I'd love to ask this guy what the hell he was thinking. 52 00:02:30,017 --> 00:02:31,985 How did they blow this election? 53 00:02:32,019 --> 00:02:34,121 -(Brzezinski chuckles) -Hey, guys, did you find the clip? 54 00:02:34,154 --> 00:02:35,556 You got it? Okay. 55 00:02:35,589 --> 00:02:37,325 This is our good friend Gary Zimmer, 56 00:02:37,358 --> 00:02:40,027 grand old consigliere of the Clinton campaign, 57 00:02:40,060 --> 00:02:42,996 not even a week ago on this program. 58 00:02:43,030 --> 00:02:44,832 -(whooshing sound effect) -So, you're confident? 59 00:02:44,865 --> 00:02:46,200 GARY (recorded): Oh, no question. 60 00:02:46,234 --> 00:02:47,735 Hillary's made her case. 61 00:02:47,768 --> 00:02:50,804 She is the most qualified presidential candidate, 62 00:02:50,838 --> 00:02:52,373 certainly in my lifetime, maybe ever. 63 00:02:52,406 --> 00:02:54,242 BRZEZINSKI: Donald Trump will not be president. 64 00:02:54,275 --> 00:02:56,677 GARY: Well, he is doing well in the South, 65 00:02:56,710 --> 00:02:59,313 so maybe he can be president of the Confederacy. 66 00:02:59,347 --> 00:03:01,582 BRZEZINSKI: But Ohio, Michigan, Pennsylvania. 67 00:03:01,615 --> 00:03:03,351 GARY: Mika, he's not winning Pennsylvania. 68 00:03:03,384 --> 00:03:04,885 He's not winning Michigan. 69 00:03:04,918 --> 00:03:07,821 That rust belt blue wall is impenetrable. It holds. 70 00:03:07,855 --> 00:03:09,189 (Southern accent): I guarantee. 71 00:03:09,223 --> 00:03:10,758 BRZEZINSKI: Well, you decided to spend 72 00:03:10,791 --> 00:03:12,226 almost no time there campaigning. 73 00:03:12,260 --> 00:03:13,894 SCARBOROUGH: Was that a Carville impression? 74 00:03:13,927 --> 00:03:15,563 -(Brzezinski chuckles) -All right, so wait a minute. 75 00:03:15,596 --> 00:03:17,431 -Tommy, try Gary again. -GARY (in room): Google, off. 76 00:03:17,465 --> 00:03:19,333 SCARBOROUGH: Okay, we have Faith Brewster on the line... 77 00:03:19,367 --> 00:03:20,601 GARY: Hey, Google, off. 78 00:03:20,634 --> 00:03:22,436 GOOGLE: Sorry. Power controls is not yet supported. 79 00:03:22,470 --> 00:03:24,204 -(phone ringing) -GARY: Phone lady, decline. 80 00:03:24,238 --> 00:03:26,240 -PHONE: Try asking again in a different way. -GARY: Ugh. 81 00:03:26,274 --> 00:03:28,609 Hang up. Hey, Google, tell phone lady to hang up. 82 00:03:28,642 --> 00:03:30,578 GOOGLE: Sorry, I'm not sure how to help with that yet. 83 00:03:30,611 --> 00:03:32,546 -GARY: Off, off! -PHONE: Sorry, I'm still not sure about that. 84 00:03:32,580 --> 00:03:33,947 GARY: Hey, Google, disengage. 85 00:03:33,981 --> 00:03:35,249 -GOOGLE: Songs aren't available on SiriusXM. -Abort. 86 00:03:35,283 --> 00:03:36,684 -PHONE: I'm not sure about that. -Everybody, shut up! 87 00:03:36,717 --> 00:03:38,852 -PHONE: Try asking again in a different way. -(Gary grunts) 88 00:03:38,886 --> 00:03:41,889 ("Still the Same" by Bob Seger playing) 89 00:03:57,771 --> 00:03:59,640 * You always won 90 00:03:59,673 --> 00:04:02,443 * Every time you placed a bet 91 00:04:05,012 --> 00:04:07,247 * You're still damn good 92 00:04:08,649 --> 00:04:11,251 * No one's gotten to you yet 93 00:04:13,821 --> 00:04:15,923 * Every time 94 00:04:15,956 --> 00:04:19,593 * They were sure they had you caught * 95 00:04:19,627 --> 00:04:23,263 * You were quicker than they thought * 96 00:04:24,832 --> 00:04:29,236 * You'd just turn your back and walk * 97 00:04:29,269 --> 00:04:32,473 * And you're still the same 98 00:04:32,506 --> 00:04:35,242 * I caught up with you yesterday * 99 00:04:35,275 --> 00:04:37,811 * Still the same, still the same * 100 00:04:37,845 --> 00:04:39,847 * Moving game to game 101 00:04:41,281 --> 00:04:44,518 * No one standing in your way 102 00:04:45,953 --> 00:04:50,324 * Turning on the charm long enough * 103 00:04:50,358 --> 00:04:51,992 * To get you by 104 00:04:52,025 --> 00:04:53,827 * Still the same 105 00:04:53,861 --> 00:04:55,095 * Still the same 106 00:04:55,128 --> 00:04:57,465 * You're still the same 107 00:04:58,699 --> 00:05:03,704 * You still aim high 108 00:05:08,376 --> 00:05:11,912 * Still the same, still the same * 109 00:05:16,183 --> 00:05:19,553 (fading): * Still the same, still the same. * 110 00:05:19,587 --> 00:05:21,589 (birds chirping) 111 00:05:32,600 --> 00:05:34,602 (scrubbing hands) 112 00:05:42,443 --> 00:05:44,044 (water splashing) 113 00:05:44,077 --> 00:05:48,816 * There's been a load of compromisin' * 114 00:05:48,849 --> 00:05:53,186 * On the road to my horizon 115 00:05:53,220 --> 00:05:56,256 * But I'm gonna be where the lights * 116 00:05:56,289 --> 00:06:00,360 * Are shinin' on me 117 00:06:00,394 --> 00:06:03,764 * Like a rhinestone cowboy 118 00:06:05,566 --> 00:06:10,738 * Riding out on a horse in a star-spangled rodeo * 119 00:06:12,773 --> 00:06:15,476 * Like a rhinestone cowboy 120 00:06:17,811 --> 00:06:23,083 * Getting cards and letters from people I don't even know * 121 00:06:24,818 --> 00:06:29,757 * And offers comin' over the phone. * 122 00:06:32,392 --> 00:06:34,394 (song fades) 123 00:06:36,797 --> 00:06:39,266 MAYOR BRAUN: So, if there is no further discussion, 124 00:06:39,299 --> 00:06:42,369 can I get a motion to vote on Resolution 1217, 125 00:06:42,402 --> 00:06:45,806 requiring a valid Wisconsin driver's license 126 00:06:45,839 --> 00:06:48,809 or proof of U.S. citizenship to qualify 127 00:06:48,842 --> 00:06:52,079 for any state or municipality program or benefit, 128 00:06:52,112 --> 00:06:55,916 such as food stamps, welfare and so on and so forth. 129 00:06:55,949 --> 00:06:57,117 PIETKOWSKI: So moved. 130 00:06:57,150 --> 00:06:58,251 -Second? -MAN: Second. 131 00:06:58,285 --> 00:06:59,820 I have a second. It is time... 132 00:06:59,853 --> 00:07:01,755 -Excuse me, fellas. -Jack, I already told you, 133 00:07:01,789 --> 00:07:03,457 you can widen that easement on Hamburg... 134 00:07:03,491 --> 00:07:05,793 Um, actually, it's about 135 00:07:05,826 --> 00:07:08,261 that resolution you're thinking about passing. 136 00:07:08,295 --> 00:07:11,298 With all due respect, Colonel, that discussion has ended. 137 00:07:11,331 --> 00:07:12,966 Yeah, yeah. So I heard. 138 00:07:13,000 --> 00:07:14,968 But, uh... 139 00:07:15,002 --> 00:07:17,337 the thing is that, um... 140 00:07:17,370 --> 00:07:19,339 it's a bad idea. 141 00:07:19,372 --> 00:07:21,575 -Y-You can't... -Uh, okay, well, 142 00:07:21,609 --> 00:07:23,276 I already seconded, but whatever. 143 00:07:23,310 --> 00:07:25,445 JACK: I know we're in a bad spot, but... 144 00:07:25,479 --> 00:07:26,980 you can't bring it back 145 00:07:27,014 --> 00:07:29,016 by throwing these people under the bus. 146 00:07:29,049 --> 00:07:31,685 Whoa, we're not throwing anybody under anything, Jack. 147 00:07:31,719 --> 00:07:33,453 (sighs) Money was tight 148 00:07:33,487 --> 00:07:35,923 when the base was still open, but now... 149 00:07:35,956 --> 00:07:37,925 I mean, we just got to be smart. 150 00:07:37,958 --> 00:07:39,827 We got to eliminate cheating the programs. 151 00:07:39,860 --> 00:07:42,429 There's not a damn soul using those programs 152 00:07:42,462 --> 00:07:44,297 that doesn't need 'em, and you know it. 153 00:07:44,331 --> 00:07:47,200 And all they need to do is produce the acceptable I.D., 154 00:07:47,234 --> 00:07:48,536 and the benefits will be... 155 00:07:48,569 --> 00:07:50,370 And you know they can't do that. 156 00:07:50,403 --> 00:07:53,173 Well... (sighs) I don't make the rules, Jack. 157 00:07:54,842 --> 00:07:57,010 I mean, I do, I guess. 158 00:07:57,044 --> 00:08:00,180 Not by myself, but... this is over. 159 00:08:01,214 --> 00:08:02,850 (grunts) 160 00:08:02,883 --> 00:08:05,218 BRAUN: Okay, we have a motion that has been seconded. 161 00:08:05,252 --> 00:08:07,320 It is time to bring it to a vote. 162 00:08:07,354 --> 00:08:09,056 Uh, you know, uh, just curious-- 163 00:08:09,089 --> 00:08:11,358 you know, when the river backed up 164 00:08:11,391 --> 00:08:13,293 and the folks you think might be cheating 165 00:08:13,326 --> 00:08:15,629 stood shoulder to shoulder with us 166 00:08:15,663 --> 00:08:19,299 stuffing sandbags for three days straight, 167 00:08:19,332 --> 00:08:22,369 ended up saving your store, you check their I.D.'s then? 168 00:08:22,402 --> 00:08:23,904 BRAUN: Discussion's closed, Jack. 169 00:08:23,937 --> 00:08:25,806 You checking I.D.'s when they're bringing food 170 00:08:25,839 --> 00:08:27,908 -to the church potlucks, Walt? -(gavel slamming) 171 00:08:29,042 --> 00:08:30,510 Enough, Jack. 172 00:08:30,544 --> 00:08:32,179 You had your say. 173 00:08:34,081 --> 00:08:35,749 (sets down gavel) 174 00:08:35,783 --> 00:08:37,851 Look, we got rules here, 175 00:08:37,885 --> 00:08:39,553 but that don't make us bad people. 176 00:08:39,587 --> 00:08:41,889 I'm not saying you're a bad person, Billy. 177 00:08:41,922 --> 00:08:44,257 I'm saying you're scared. 178 00:08:44,291 --> 00:08:46,493 Hell, we all are. 179 00:08:46,526 --> 00:08:50,831 Damn town went from 15,000 to five overnight, 180 00:08:50,864 --> 00:08:53,066 and business went with it. 181 00:08:53,100 --> 00:08:56,737 We're not bringing it back by... by turning on each other. 182 00:08:57,771 --> 00:08:59,406 Corps taught me the chain's 183 00:08:59,439 --> 00:09:01,742 only as strong as its weakest link. 184 00:09:01,775 --> 00:09:04,712 And Father Heuvel here 185 00:09:04,745 --> 00:09:06,947 taught me that I am my brother's keeper. 186 00:09:06,980 --> 00:09:08,749 GARY: Wait. Go back to that "weak link" part. 187 00:09:08,782 --> 00:09:11,051 Whatever you do for the least of us, you do for the Lord. 188 00:09:11,084 --> 00:09:12,252 -EVAN: Yeah, okay. Yeah. -(mouse clicking) 189 00:09:12,285 --> 00:09:14,054 I mean, could this guy work? 190 00:09:14,087 --> 00:09:15,522 Corps taught me the chain's 191 00:09:15,555 --> 00:09:17,625 only as strong as its weakest link. 192 00:09:17,658 --> 00:09:19,359 Hmm. Pretty good. 193 00:09:19,392 --> 00:09:21,729 -EVAN: Mm-hmm. -JACK: And Father Heuvel here 194 00:09:21,762 --> 00:09:24,064 taught me that I am my brother's keeper. 195 00:09:24,097 --> 00:09:26,867 Whatever you do for the least of us, you do for the Lord. 196 00:09:26,900 --> 00:09:29,302 GARY: Looks conservative, sounds progressive. 197 00:09:29,336 --> 00:09:31,905 -EVAN: Mm-hmm. -JACK: The point is, 198 00:09:31,939 --> 00:09:35,976 it's easy to be strong of character in the good times. 199 00:09:36,009 --> 00:09:38,545 The test is the bad times. 200 00:09:38,578 --> 00:09:41,615 If you can't live your principles then, well... 201 00:09:41,649 --> 00:09:44,785 I guess they aren't principles; they're just hobbies. 202 00:09:46,286 --> 00:09:47,554 Where is this again? 203 00:09:47,587 --> 00:09:48,722 Wisconsin. 204 00:09:48,756 --> 00:09:50,924 Deerlaken. 205 00:09:50,958 --> 00:09:53,627 -Deerlaken. -Mm-hmm. 206 00:09:53,661 --> 00:09:54,995 Gentlemen... 207 00:09:55,028 --> 00:09:57,665 this square-jawed paragon of Americana 208 00:09:57,698 --> 00:10:01,802 is our goddamn key back into the forbidden city. 209 00:10:01,835 --> 00:10:03,737 -Well, that's my stop. (laughs) -Sit. Kurt, sit. 210 00:10:03,771 --> 00:10:05,305 -Call me when he gets to the point. -Nope. 211 00:10:05,338 --> 00:10:06,473 You're not going anywhere. No, sit. 212 00:10:06,506 --> 00:10:07,675 And we have Alan to thank 213 00:10:07,708 --> 00:10:09,677 for bringing this man to our attention. 214 00:10:09,710 --> 00:10:12,112 -It's Evan. -Did I happen to mention that 215 00:10:12,145 --> 00:10:14,147 he is a veteran of the United States Marine Corps? 216 00:10:14,181 --> 00:10:16,116 -OTHERS: Yes. -And a farmer. 217 00:10:16,149 --> 00:10:17,350 -Um... you did. -MAN: I believe so. 218 00:10:17,384 --> 00:10:18,952 And did I happen to mention that he's a widower? 219 00:10:18,986 --> 00:10:19,953 -Impressive. -All right. Well done. 220 00:10:19,987 --> 00:10:21,288 GARY: A man who makes Joe the Plumber 221 00:10:21,321 --> 00:10:22,856 look like Dukakis in mom jeans 222 00:10:22,890 --> 00:10:24,758 -and a fucking Easter bonnet... -(laughter) 223 00:10:24,792 --> 00:10:26,459 in the reddest of counties 224 00:10:26,493 --> 00:10:29,629 -in the great now swing state of Wisconsin... -Mm-hmm. 225 00:10:29,663 --> 00:10:30,798 ...is... 226 00:10:32,199 --> 00:10:34,334 ...a Democrat. 227 00:10:34,367 --> 00:10:36,036 Uh, he's a Democrat? 228 00:10:36,069 --> 00:10:37,437 Yeah. 229 00:10:37,470 --> 00:10:39,439 He just doesn't know it yet. 230 00:10:39,472 --> 00:10:41,608 Well, here's the idea: I get on a plane, 231 00:10:41,641 --> 00:10:44,444 and I go to Wisconsin, and I use this guy 232 00:10:44,477 --> 00:10:47,280 to road-test a more rural-friendly message. 233 00:10:47,314 --> 00:10:50,617 It's a mayoral race... in the middle of nowhere. 234 00:10:50,650 --> 00:10:52,519 Uh, I don't get how this helps us. 235 00:10:52,552 --> 00:10:54,988 There are two million rural votes in these states alone. 236 00:10:55,022 --> 00:10:57,124 If we lost them 2.7 to one instead of three to one, 237 00:10:57,157 --> 00:10:59,392 we'd win, but we didn't even try. 238 00:10:59,426 --> 00:11:00,961 Their base turned out. Ours didn't. 239 00:11:00,994 --> 00:11:03,964 If we find a candidate to activate our base... 240 00:11:03,997 --> 00:11:07,034 if our African Americans 241 00:11:07,067 --> 00:11:08,235 (heavily accented): and Latino communities... 242 00:11:08,268 --> 00:11:09,302 It's just "Latino." 243 00:11:09,336 --> 00:11:11,571 ...show up, we win. 244 00:11:11,604 --> 00:11:13,874 We have to get the rural voters back into the tent, 245 00:11:13,907 --> 00:11:15,075 even just a little bit. 246 00:11:15,108 --> 00:11:16,744 Well, if it's all the same to you, 247 00:11:16,777 --> 00:11:18,045 I'll stick with pandering 248 00:11:18,078 --> 00:11:22,215 to our special-interest groups, thank you very much. 249 00:11:22,249 --> 00:11:26,553 GROUP (chanting): Sí, se puede. Sí, se puede. 250 00:11:26,586 --> 00:11:29,556 -Sí, se... -I like the idea of expanding our base. 251 00:11:29,589 --> 00:11:32,459 Not taking any voter for granted. 252 00:11:33,526 --> 00:11:34,762 It does have some merit. 253 00:11:38,231 --> 00:11:39,232 WOMAN: Good morning. Gary Zimmer's office. 254 00:11:39,266 --> 00:11:40,333 ASSISTANT: Okay, so we'll make sure 255 00:11:40,367 --> 00:11:41,769 a car comes here and picks you up, 256 00:11:41,802 --> 00:11:43,503 -and we'll make sure the driver is Frank. -Okay. 257 00:11:43,536 --> 00:11:44,905 Um, it's a two-hour flight, 258 00:11:44,938 --> 00:11:46,573 but you'll gain an hour when you get there. 259 00:11:46,606 --> 00:11:49,209 -(sighs) What is that? -The 7 Series. 260 00:11:49,242 --> 00:11:51,779 It was the closest thing they had to your Tesla, but... 261 00:11:51,812 --> 00:11:53,847 Just take a Sharpie, and write "liberal city douchebag" 262 00:11:53,881 --> 00:11:55,115 on my forehead, okay? 263 00:11:55,148 --> 00:11:56,616 -Come on, guys. -Yeah. 264 00:11:56,649 --> 00:11:58,118 Um, Accord? 265 00:11:58,151 --> 00:11:59,586 I'm traveling to America. 266 00:11:59,619 --> 00:12:01,521 Explorer, neutral color. 267 00:12:01,554 --> 00:12:03,023 And pack me like a conference. 268 00:12:03,056 --> 00:12:04,191 Davos? TED? 269 00:12:04,224 --> 00:12:05,759 Aspen, weekend package. 270 00:12:05,793 --> 00:12:07,227 -Thank you. -Great. 271 00:12:07,260 --> 00:12:08,561 Oh, and, guys, you know what? 272 00:12:08,595 --> 00:12:10,197 Keep it simple. 273 00:12:10,230 --> 00:12:11,364 Simple. No frills. 274 00:12:11,398 --> 00:12:12,632 -Thank you. -Got it. -Sure. 275 00:12:12,665 --> 00:12:13,967 Great. 276 00:12:14,001 --> 00:12:16,703 Although, if the Explorer has a-a Bose 277 00:12:16,736 --> 00:12:18,371 or a Bang & Olufsen sound package, 278 00:12:18,405 --> 00:12:20,240 if they have it... (clicks tongue) it'd be good. 279 00:12:20,273 --> 00:12:22,575 -Great. -Gotcha. 280 00:12:22,609 --> 00:12:24,878 Did they say anything about catering? 281 00:12:24,912 --> 00:12:26,313 Not yet. 282 00:12:26,346 --> 00:12:27,881 Those little mozzarella balls would be great. 283 00:12:27,915 --> 00:12:29,316 -Yeah? -Caprese salad. 284 00:12:29,349 --> 00:12:30,784 -Something light. Balsamic. -Yeah, just... 285 00:12:30,818 --> 00:12:32,085 Balsamic, all that jazz? 286 00:12:32,119 --> 00:12:33,653 Cool. 287 00:12:37,457 --> 00:12:38,658 Nothing. 288 00:12:38,691 --> 00:12:39,893 -Cool. -(Gary laughing) 289 00:12:39,927 --> 00:12:42,295 That's fun. 290 00:12:42,329 --> 00:12:44,497 (sighs) 291 00:12:44,531 --> 00:12:45,799 SPORTSCASTER: He'll flip the short pass. 292 00:12:45,833 --> 00:12:47,634 Complete to Anderson. He's at the 35. 293 00:12:47,667 --> 00:12:49,069 He moves to the 30-yard line... 294 00:12:49,102 --> 00:12:50,838 -Here you go, Mr. Zimmer. -Oh, thank you. 295 00:12:50,871 --> 00:12:52,305 NARRATOR (over TV): Trailing by three points... 296 00:12:52,339 --> 00:12:53,807 -Thanks. -Mm-hmm. 297 00:12:53,841 --> 00:12:57,744 ...with time running out, the Packers roll 68 yards 298 00:12:57,777 --> 00:13:01,148 across the frozen field and into legend. 299 00:13:01,181 --> 00:13:02,782 (dramatic music plays over TV) 300 00:13:02,816 --> 00:13:04,284 SPORTSCASTER: He flips the pass. It's complete. 301 00:13:04,317 --> 00:13:06,186 To Chuck Mercein. He's at the 25, the 20... 302 00:13:06,219 --> 00:13:08,521 NARRATOR: With only three minutes to play, 303 00:13:08,555 --> 00:13:11,524 all the hopes and dreams of an entire season 304 00:13:11,558 --> 00:13:13,961 rested on the shoulders of one man. 305 00:13:13,994 --> 00:13:17,564 * Like a rhinestone cowboy 306 00:13:19,799 --> 00:13:22,169 * Riding out on a horse 307 00:13:22,202 --> 00:13:26,039 * In a star-spangled rodeo 308 00:13:26,073 --> 00:13:27,674 -* Like a rhine... -(changes station) 309 00:13:27,707 --> 00:13:29,109 TERRY GROSS: This is "Fresh Air." 310 00:13:29,142 --> 00:13:30,477 -I'm Terry Gross. -(takes deep breath) 311 00:13:30,510 --> 00:13:31,678 Richard Rodgers and Oscar Hammerstein 312 00:13:31,711 --> 00:13:33,813 had one of the most successful 313 00:13:33,847 --> 00:13:36,316 musical partnerships of the 20th century. 314 00:13:36,349 --> 00:13:39,286 TODD S. PURDUM: But I also think it's-it's a canard 315 00:13:39,319 --> 00:13:41,054 that Hammerstein can't write funny songs. 316 00:13:41,088 --> 00:13:42,689 GROSS: She's got a beautiful voice, 317 00:13:42,722 --> 00:13:44,157 so let's hear her singing 318 00:13:44,191 --> 00:13:45,658 "Everybody's Got a Home but Me." 319 00:13:45,692 --> 00:13:47,360 Will you set the scene for us 320 00:13:47,394 --> 00:13:49,696 about where this song fits into the show? 321 00:13:49,729 --> 00:13:51,198 PURDUM: Well, this young prostitute 322 00:13:51,231 --> 00:13:53,000 has just arrived in Monterey... 323 00:13:54,267 --> 00:13:56,403 (vehicle door opens, closes) 324 00:13:56,436 --> 00:13:58,438 (indistinct chatter) 325 00:13:59,907 --> 00:14:02,642 -(sighs) -BARTENDER: Oh. 326 00:14:02,675 --> 00:14:04,077 -Evening. -Hey. 327 00:14:04,111 --> 00:14:05,512 Hi. What can I get you? 328 00:14:05,545 --> 00:14:08,481 Uh, how about a Bud and a burger? 329 00:14:08,515 --> 00:14:11,351 That sounds good. 330 00:14:11,384 --> 00:14:13,653 -Thank you so much. -Sure thing. 331 00:14:13,686 --> 00:14:15,055 Coming up. 332 00:14:16,189 --> 00:14:17,257 -Hey, Charlie. -(knocking) 333 00:14:20,928 --> 00:14:22,829 Tough day? 334 00:14:22,862 --> 00:14:25,065 -A long day, traveling. -Oh, yeah? 335 00:14:25,098 --> 00:14:27,100 -Where from? -Washington, D.C. 336 00:14:27,134 --> 00:14:29,436 Man, I ain't been there since, like, a school trip. 337 00:14:29,469 --> 00:14:31,438 Can't even remember how many years ago that was. 338 00:14:31,471 --> 00:14:32,772 -It was 29. 29 years. -Yeah? 339 00:14:32,805 --> 00:14:35,175 -Was it? -29 years. Ms. Heuvel's history class. 340 00:14:35,208 --> 00:14:36,743 -That's what it was. Ms. Heuvel's history class. -Yeah. 341 00:14:36,776 --> 00:14:38,411 Security guards chased us out of the Space Museum. 342 00:14:38,445 --> 00:14:40,713 Yeah, well, we beat the dog shit out of those other kids. 343 00:14:40,747 --> 00:14:41,848 (laughter) 344 00:14:41,881 --> 00:14:43,350 Well, you guys aren't missing anything. 345 00:14:43,383 --> 00:14:45,285 It is a nightmare down there. 346 00:14:45,318 --> 00:14:47,120 -Huh. Yeah. (chuckles) -Well, no argument there. 347 00:14:47,154 --> 00:14:49,189 -Yeah. You can say that again. -Mm-hmm. 348 00:14:49,222 --> 00:14:51,558 -Mike Staadt. -Hey. 349 00:14:51,591 --> 00:14:53,593 -We call him Big Mike. -Yeah. 350 00:14:53,626 --> 00:14:55,295 People call me Big Mike for some reason. 351 00:14:55,328 --> 00:14:57,064 Well, it's, uh, because... to tell us apart. 352 00:14:57,097 --> 00:14:59,232 Because I'm... my name's Mike, too, but I'm Little Mike. 353 00:14:59,266 --> 00:15:00,733 Hey. How are you? Gary. 354 00:15:00,767 --> 00:15:02,869 -Nice to meet you. -Gary, Gary. 355 00:15:02,902 --> 00:15:05,205 Gary from D.C. D.C. Gary. 356 00:15:05,238 --> 00:15:07,207 BIG MIKE: He likes to give everybody nicknames, so that's 357 00:15:07,240 --> 00:15:09,042 why he's-he's giving you a nickname right now, which... 358 00:15:09,076 --> 00:15:10,944 -(chuckles) -It shows friendship and affection. 359 00:15:10,978 --> 00:15:13,080 -Okay, yeah, but he doesn't... -If you don't like yours, 360 00:15:13,113 --> 00:15:14,647 -I'll take it away. -No, I'm fine with my nickname. 361 00:15:14,681 --> 00:15:15,815 Well, I appreciate it, Little Mike. 362 00:15:15,848 --> 00:15:17,284 LITTLE MIKE: Okay, thank you, D.C. Gary. 363 00:15:17,317 --> 00:15:18,952 Hey, this is our new friend, D.C. Gary. 364 00:15:18,986 --> 00:15:20,653 -Hey. How are you? -BARTENDER: Hey. 365 00:15:20,687 --> 00:15:22,956 -Dave. -My name is Gary, and I'm from D.C., so... 366 00:15:22,990 --> 00:15:24,224 -that works. -Well, welcome to Deerlaken. 367 00:15:24,257 --> 00:15:26,960 -Thank you. -Ever been to Wisconsin before? 368 00:15:26,994 --> 00:15:28,828 Uh, spent a fair amount of time in Madison. 369 00:15:28,861 --> 00:15:30,397 -So that's a no. -(laughter) 370 00:15:30,430 --> 00:15:31,931 -(chuckles) -That's not Wisconsin. 371 00:15:31,965 --> 00:15:34,434 Actually, I'm here to see Jack Hastings. You know him? 372 00:15:34,467 --> 00:15:36,569 -Oh, yeah. He's a great guy. -Yeah, everybody knows Jack. 373 00:15:36,603 --> 00:15:37,904 -The Colonel. Great guy. -Semper fi. 374 00:15:37,937 --> 00:15:39,339 -Yeah. -DAVE: YouTube star. 375 00:15:39,372 --> 00:15:42,009 We've got some rooms upstairs, if you need. 376 00:15:42,042 --> 00:15:44,311 -Sure. That sounds good. -Tonya? 377 00:15:44,344 --> 00:15:45,478 Yeah, baby. 378 00:15:45,512 --> 00:15:47,114 This gentleman here would like a room. 379 00:15:47,147 --> 00:15:49,482 Oh, sure. What do you need, hon? 380 00:15:49,516 --> 00:15:52,085 Uh, anything. Any room is fine. 381 00:15:52,119 --> 00:15:53,486 Okay. 382 00:15:53,520 --> 00:15:55,989 If you have something on a high floor 383 00:15:56,023 --> 00:15:57,790 with a king bed and a coffee maker... 384 00:15:57,824 --> 00:15:59,692 Okay. Yeah, we... everything's on the second floor. 385 00:15:59,726 --> 00:16:01,294 -Perfect. -They're all pretty much the same. 386 00:16:01,328 --> 00:16:03,430 -That's perfect. I'm easy. -(Tonya chuckles) 387 00:16:03,463 --> 00:16:05,632 -GARY: Anything's good. -Take 206. It's the biggest. 388 00:16:05,665 --> 00:16:06,966 -They're all unlocked. -Okay. 389 00:16:07,000 --> 00:16:08,901 Thank you so much, Tonya. 390 00:16:10,637 --> 00:16:12,472 -LITTLE MIKE: Hey, so, D.C. Gary. -Yeah. 391 00:16:12,505 --> 00:16:14,041 You ever been to the White House? 392 00:16:14,074 --> 00:16:15,775 -I have. -BIG MIKE: What's that like? 393 00:16:15,808 --> 00:16:17,877 What's that like? It's a lot smaller than you think. 394 00:16:17,910 --> 00:16:19,312 -Thanks. -What? -Really? -Yeah. 395 00:16:19,346 --> 00:16:21,214 BIG MIKE: Yeah, 'cause we didn't... I don't think we got 396 00:16:21,248 --> 00:16:22,382 by there on that student trip. 397 00:16:22,415 --> 00:16:24,117 Must not have been built at that point. 398 00:16:24,151 --> 00:16:25,785 Oh, that looks delicious. Thank you so much. 399 00:16:25,818 --> 00:16:27,354 Do you have a bottle opener? 400 00:16:27,387 --> 00:16:29,356 -That's a... no, that's just a twist. -Bud, you just twist. 401 00:16:29,389 --> 00:16:30,890 -Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. -It's a twist-off. 402 00:16:30,923 --> 00:16:32,125 I know. I know. 403 00:16:32,159 --> 00:16:33,626 Maybe he does need a bottle opener. 404 00:16:33,660 --> 00:16:35,162 -Maybe use your-your vest. -He's probably... 405 00:16:35,195 --> 00:16:36,996 -Maybe a European grip. -Ah, I got it. -(cap pops) 406 00:16:37,030 --> 00:16:38,398 -There we go. -There we go. -(cap clatters) 407 00:16:38,431 --> 00:16:39,566 Cheers. 408 00:16:39,599 --> 00:16:41,068 -Hey. -Cheers. -Cheers. 409 00:16:41,101 --> 00:16:42,735 -Cheers. -Here's to you. -Cheers. 410 00:16:42,769 --> 00:16:44,671 Budweiser. 411 00:16:44,704 --> 00:16:47,707 Mmm. Mmm. 412 00:16:47,740 --> 00:16:49,776 (sniffs) Mm-hmm. 413 00:16:52,745 --> 00:16:55,115 You got to be kidding me. 414 00:17:01,188 --> 00:17:03,223 (sighs): Okay. 415 00:17:03,256 --> 00:17:05,258 (clears throat, grunts) 416 00:17:05,292 --> 00:17:06,993 All right. 417 00:17:07,026 --> 00:17:08,528 (straining): All right. 418 00:17:08,561 --> 00:17:10,263 It's fine, it's fine. 419 00:17:10,297 --> 00:17:12,232 It's fine! 420 00:17:12,265 --> 00:17:14,000 -All right. -(door rattling) 421 00:17:14,033 --> 00:17:16,869 And it's fucking locked. 422 00:17:16,903 --> 00:17:18,338 Goddamn it. 423 00:17:18,371 --> 00:17:20,507 Oh, shit. 424 00:17:20,540 --> 00:17:23,610 Ah, fuck this. 425 00:17:23,643 --> 00:17:26,413 (sighing): Oh, Deerlaken. 426 00:17:26,446 --> 00:17:28,248 Love it. 427 00:17:31,118 --> 00:17:33,286 (bed creaks) 428 00:17:36,756 --> 00:17:39,226 (sighs): Okay. 429 00:17:39,259 --> 00:17:41,428 DAVE (over phone): Everything all right? 430 00:17:41,461 --> 00:17:43,896 Uh, hel... Yes? Hello? 431 00:17:43,930 --> 00:17:45,532 -It's Dave. -Yes? 432 00:17:45,565 --> 00:17:46,966 From the Hofbrau House. 433 00:17:46,999 --> 00:17:49,269 -From downstairs? -Yes. 434 00:17:49,302 --> 00:17:51,138 -O-Okay. -Everything all right? 435 00:17:51,171 --> 00:17:54,807 Mm... yeah, I was just looking for a Wi-Fi password. 436 00:17:54,841 --> 00:17:56,476 Good luck. 437 00:17:56,509 --> 00:17:58,145 Case-sensitive? 438 00:17:58,178 --> 00:18:00,447 No, good luck getting Wi-Fi. 439 00:18:00,480 --> 00:18:02,315 You're better off using your phone. 440 00:18:02,349 --> 00:18:04,384 -Okay. -Okay. 441 00:18:04,417 --> 00:18:05,818 All right, very good. 442 00:18:05,852 --> 00:18:08,054 -Thank you. -Sure. 443 00:18:08,087 --> 00:18:10,690 -Goodbye. -Night, Gar. 444 00:18:12,792 --> 00:18:14,294 (hangs up phone) 445 00:18:18,165 --> 00:18:20,133 (sighs) 446 00:18:30,177 --> 00:18:31,611 DAVE: Everything all right? 447 00:18:34,447 --> 00:18:36,683 (chuckles quietly) 448 00:18:47,227 --> 00:18:49,061 MAN: Hey, D.C. Gary! 449 00:18:50,530 --> 00:18:52,932 Hey, Gary. 450 00:18:52,965 --> 00:18:54,234 Hey. 451 00:18:55,302 --> 00:18:56,669 Good morning, Gary. 452 00:18:56,703 --> 00:18:58,605 Hey. 453 00:18:58,638 --> 00:19:00,573 Okay. 454 00:19:03,676 --> 00:19:05,845 -(gasps) Excuse me, Gary. -Hi, Gary. 455 00:19:05,878 --> 00:19:08,248 (panting): All right. 456 00:19:11,050 --> 00:19:12,719 ANN: Well, hello, Gary. 457 00:19:14,221 --> 00:19:16,022 The Mikes told me that you're up from D.C., 458 00:19:16,055 --> 00:19:17,857 and I figured that you might be on the hunt 459 00:19:17,890 --> 00:19:19,459 for some good caffeine. (chuckles) 460 00:19:19,492 --> 00:19:21,961 Yes. Um... sure. 461 00:19:21,994 --> 00:19:23,363 May I have a... 462 00:19:23,396 --> 00:19:25,565 -Coffee? -A coffee. 463 00:19:25,598 --> 00:19:26,733 Cream, two sugars. 464 00:19:26,766 --> 00:19:29,135 Not how I like it, but good. 465 00:19:29,168 --> 00:19:30,370 And i-if you don't mind, um, 466 00:19:30,403 --> 00:19:32,339 when you head up to Jack's, can you give him this? 467 00:19:32,372 --> 00:19:33,873 Jack, uh, he gets a little cranky 468 00:19:33,906 --> 00:19:35,242 if he doesn't get his linzers. 469 00:19:35,275 --> 00:19:37,377 (laughs) Oh, and I-I, uh... 470 00:19:37,410 --> 00:19:40,213 I put a little streusel in there for you, too. 471 00:19:40,247 --> 00:19:42,282 Just made it. Still warm. 472 00:19:44,183 --> 00:19:46,018 Mmm. Okay. 473 00:19:46,052 --> 00:19:48,054 Ah, no, no, no, no, no. 474 00:19:48,087 --> 00:19:49,556 You're saving me a trip, so... 475 00:19:51,591 --> 00:19:53,660 -(laughing): Okay. -(Ann laughs) 476 00:19:53,693 --> 00:19:55,695 Um, okay. 477 00:19:55,728 --> 00:19:57,264 (chuckles) Okay. 478 00:19:59,031 --> 00:20:00,767 Bye, Gary. 479 00:20:00,800 --> 00:20:02,835 (laughing): Okay. Bye. 480 00:20:02,869 --> 00:20:04,437 ANN: Have a good one. 481 00:20:04,471 --> 00:20:07,374 GARY (laughing): Thank you. You have a good one. 482 00:20:07,407 --> 00:20:09,742 Hey, guys. Have a good one. 483 00:20:09,776 --> 00:20:12,512 -Hey, lady. Have a good one. -(woman chuckles) 484 00:20:12,545 --> 00:20:15,214 All right. Is everybody having a good one? 485 00:20:15,248 --> 00:20:17,584 What the fuck? 486 00:20:21,621 --> 00:20:24,223 (bag rustling) 487 00:20:28,428 --> 00:20:30,397 Oh, my God. 488 00:20:30,430 --> 00:20:32,399 Oh, fuck! 489 00:20:41,274 --> 00:20:42,742 Oh! 490 00:20:42,775 --> 00:20:44,210 Fuck me! 491 00:20:44,243 --> 00:20:45,878 Oh, God. 492 00:20:45,912 --> 00:20:48,315 (grunts, moans) 493 00:20:50,917 --> 00:20:52,985 Mmm, mmm. 494 00:20:53,019 --> 00:20:54,354 Mmm. 495 00:21:04,364 --> 00:21:06,232 (grunts) 496 00:21:06,265 --> 00:21:07,767 Mmm. 497 00:21:07,800 --> 00:21:09,602 (grunts) 498 00:21:12,972 --> 00:21:15,575 (vehicle door opens, closes) 499 00:21:15,608 --> 00:21:17,109 (horn beeps) 500 00:21:23,616 --> 00:21:26,819 -(dogs barking) -Shit! God! God! 501 00:21:26,853 --> 00:21:29,489 (grunting) 502 00:21:30,890 --> 00:21:33,760 JACK: Sunny! Muffin! Stand down! 503 00:21:33,793 --> 00:21:36,128 Oh, hey. 504 00:21:36,162 --> 00:21:39,031 You Ann's new delivery guy? 505 00:21:39,065 --> 00:21:40,667 (panting): I'm sorry. 506 00:21:40,700 --> 00:21:42,769 Uh, I'll go back and get you some more of those. 507 00:21:42,802 --> 00:21:44,471 Oh, it's fine. I'll probably end up 508 00:21:44,504 --> 00:21:46,473 giving them most of them anyway. 509 00:21:46,506 --> 00:21:48,675 (chuckling) 510 00:21:48,708 --> 00:21:50,877 Um... okay. 511 00:21:50,910 --> 00:21:52,211 Okay. (sighs) 512 00:21:52,244 --> 00:21:54,347 That's an angry labradoodle. 513 00:21:55,382 --> 00:21:58,618 Oh, really beautiful out here. 514 00:21:58,651 --> 00:22:00,787 Really takes me back. 515 00:22:00,820 --> 00:22:02,689 Oh, you a farm boy? 516 00:22:02,722 --> 00:22:04,691 Uh, uh, no. 517 00:22:04,724 --> 00:22:06,959 Political consultant. 518 00:22:06,993 --> 00:22:08,395 -(hollers) -(mooing) 519 00:22:08,428 --> 00:22:10,863 Well, sir, I saw your video on the Internet-- 520 00:22:10,897 --> 00:22:12,499 the town hall you busted up. 521 00:22:12,532 --> 00:22:14,534 -(hollers) -Um... 522 00:22:14,567 --> 00:22:16,135 your comments on the responsibility 523 00:22:16,168 --> 00:22:18,237 to the least of us moved me deeply. 524 00:22:18,270 --> 00:22:20,740 -Grab a bucket. -And I'll grab a bucket. 525 00:22:20,773 --> 00:22:22,742 And here they come. Okay. 526 00:22:22,775 --> 00:22:24,544 -I think, increasingly... -(hollers) 527 00:22:24,577 --> 00:22:27,747 ...we have lost the capacity to see each other. 528 00:22:27,780 --> 00:22:31,584 Empathy for those that we don't resemble. 529 00:22:31,618 --> 00:22:33,319 Not to say partisanship has no place, 530 00:22:33,352 --> 00:22:36,022 but certainly not at the level of toxicity 531 00:22:36,055 --> 00:22:38,290 that our current debate incorporates. 532 00:22:40,059 --> 00:22:43,563 "No man left behind" is your ethos as a Marine! 533 00:22:43,596 --> 00:22:46,699 I think it's especially poignant this day and age! 534 00:22:46,733 --> 00:22:49,268 Your words spoke to values, not identity. 535 00:22:49,301 --> 00:22:51,070 So important. 536 00:22:59,479 --> 00:23:01,481 (squishing) 537 00:23:02,715 --> 00:23:04,951 (groans) 538 00:23:04,984 --> 00:23:08,220 (grunts, exhales heavily) 539 00:23:09,321 --> 00:23:10,957 (groans) 540 00:23:10,990 --> 00:23:12,759 It was Abraham Lincoln who said, 541 00:23:12,792 --> 00:23:14,627 "An appeal to our better angels." 542 00:23:14,661 --> 00:23:16,663 (toilet flushes) 543 00:23:23,135 --> 00:23:24,971 You came out of there pretty fast. 544 00:23:25,004 --> 00:23:26,673 Did you wash? 545 00:23:35,482 --> 00:23:38,250 (Gary takes deep breath) 546 00:23:41,588 --> 00:23:42,955 Okay. 547 00:23:42,989 --> 00:23:45,458 Here it is. 548 00:23:45,492 --> 00:23:48,127 I want you to be the Democratic candidate 549 00:23:48,160 --> 00:23:50,129 for mayor of Deerlaken. 550 00:23:51,964 --> 00:23:54,433 Now, I know you probably don't think that you're a Democrat, 551 00:23:54,467 --> 00:23:57,403 but after watching your speech, I can assure you that you are, 552 00:23:57,436 --> 00:23:59,839 and I would like to offer my company's services 553 00:23:59,872 --> 00:24:01,440 to help you do so. 554 00:24:08,548 --> 00:24:11,417 Well, I thank you. 555 00:24:11,450 --> 00:24:12,985 You're welcome. 556 00:24:13,019 --> 00:24:14,921 You know, thanks for the help today. 557 00:24:14,954 --> 00:24:16,623 My pleasure. 558 00:24:16,656 --> 00:24:20,092 But all things being equal, 559 00:24:20,126 --> 00:24:22,128 I'd rather not. 560 00:24:25,464 --> 00:24:27,834 All right. 561 00:24:27,867 --> 00:24:30,537 Can I be completely honest with you? 562 00:24:30,570 --> 00:24:31,971 No bullshit. 563 00:24:32,004 --> 00:24:33,339 Be nice. 564 00:24:33,372 --> 00:24:35,007 My daughter's here. 565 00:24:35,041 --> 00:24:38,310 That was your daughter, with her-her arm up the c-cow? 566 00:24:38,344 --> 00:24:40,046 Okay. Look... 567 00:24:40,079 --> 00:24:41,614 (Gary sighs) 568 00:24:41,648 --> 00:24:44,684 -Democrats are getting their asses kicked. -Mm. 569 00:24:44,717 --> 00:24:49,221 Because guys like me don't know how to talk to guys like you. 570 00:24:49,255 --> 00:24:52,158 I really believe that you believe what I believe-- 571 00:24:52,191 --> 00:24:55,227 that what is happening in this town is wrong. 572 00:24:55,261 --> 00:24:57,864 What is happening in this country is wrong. 573 00:24:57,897 --> 00:24:59,832 People are turning their backs on each other. 574 00:24:59,866 --> 00:25:02,034 We are forgetting that we need each other. 575 00:25:02,068 --> 00:25:03,903 What you said in your speech-- 576 00:25:03,936 --> 00:25:05,572 strong as our weakest link. 577 00:25:05,605 --> 00:25:07,039 Do you mean that? 578 00:25:07,073 --> 00:25:08,808 Did you mean it when you said that? 579 00:25:08,841 --> 00:25:12,078 Because if you did, I think that you have an obligation 580 00:25:12,111 --> 00:25:14,380 to try to strengthen those weak links. 581 00:25:14,413 --> 00:25:17,349 And you can do it. You can do it. 582 00:25:17,383 --> 00:25:19,518 You can do it in this sort of position. 583 00:25:19,552 --> 00:25:23,122 You can help strengthen those... those weak links. 584 00:25:25,524 --> 00:25:27,526 You can achieve that. 585 00:25:30,797 --> 00:25:33,165 -Okay... -(taps desk) 586 00:25:33,199 --> 00:25:34,567 All right. 587 00:25:34,601 --> 00:25:36,068 You know what? 588 00:25:37,236 --> 00:25:39,038 (sighs) 589 00:25:39,071 --> 00:25:42,609 All due respect, Colonel, anybody can make a speech. 590 00:25:42,642 --> 00:25:44,577 The real test is backing up your words. 591 00:25:44,611 --> 00:25:46,913 The things that you said to those folks in that meeting, 592 00:25:46,946 --> 00:25:50,216 was that principle, 593 00:25:50,249 --> 00:25:52,251 or was that just a hobby? 594 00:25:54,253 --> 00:25:55,855 Let me know. 595 00:25:55,888 --> 00:25:58,691 Why does he need three guns? 596 00:25:58,725 --> 00:26:00,727 (door opens) 597 00:26:00,760 --> 00:26:02,294 (door closes) 598 00:26:21,347 --> 00:26:23,249 (rooster crows in distance) 599 00:26:23,282 --> 00:26:25,251 (gasps, groans) 600 00:26:25,284 --> 00:26:27,253 -(groaning): Oh, God. -(laughs) 601 00:26:27,286 --> 00:26:30,222 -Shit. -I'm sorry if I startled you, sunshine. 602 00:26:30,256 --> 00:26:31,624 (groans) 603 00:26:31,658 --> 00:26:33,559 Don't you people believe in locks? 604 00:26:33,592 --> 00:26:37,163 Or privacy or basic social contracts? 605 00:26:37,196 --> 00:26:38,931 Yeah, Tonya let me in. 606 00:26:38,965 --> 00:26:41,300 I told her I had something important 607 00:26:41,333 --> 00:26:43,770 I needed to talk to you about. 608 00:26:45,772 --> 00:26:47,473 You'll do it? 609 00:26:47,506 --> 00:26:48,975 Under one condition. 610 00:26:49,008 --> 00:26:50,643 Great. Name it. 611 00:26:52,645 --> 00:26:54,647 You run the damn thing. 612 00:26:54,681 --> 00:26:56,148 I got the farm to worry about. 613 00:26:56,182 --> 00:26:57,984 Don't have any idea how to even start. 614 00:26:58,017 --> 00:27:00,820 I will have one of my top guys make himself available to you. 615 00:27:00,853 --> 00:27:02,321 No, no, that's not gonna do it. 616 00:27:02,354 --> 00:27:04,691 You. 617 00:27:04,724 --> 00:27:07,860 The deal is you run it from here. 618 00:27:07,894 --> 00:27:09,762 I checked you out. 619 00:27:09,796 --> 00:27:12,064 You got one hell of a portfolio. 620 00:27:14,233 --> 00:27:17,069 So, deal? 621 00:27:21,841 --> 00:27:23,843 GARY: I'd like a big clump of the cows 622 00:27:23,876 --> 00:27:25,878 right here in the center. 623 00:27:27,413 --> 00:27:29,381 -Do you copy me? -Yes, sir! 624 00:27:29,415 --> 00:27:32,184 Okay. If you can just move 'em over that way. 625 00:27:32,218 --> 00:27:33,886 -Yep! -Okay! 626 00:27:33,920 --> 00:27:36,388 And if you could get some of them to face front. 627 00:27:36,422 --> 00:27:37,857 (under breath): Oh, my God. 628 00:27:37,890 --> 00:27:40,159 Hey there, Colonel. 629 00:27:40,192 --> 00:27:42,028 Gary. 630 00:27:42,061 --> 00:27:45,197 Bobby, thanks a million for coming out here. 631 00:27:45,231 --> 00:27:46,665 I'll be certain to vote for you. 632 00:27:46,699 --> 00:27:48,500 Thank y'all, folks, for coming. 633 00:27:48,534 --> 00:27:50,536 So, this is just a quick kickoff. 634 00:27:50,569 --> 00:27:53,305 Let's make you look a little more like Farmer Jack 635 00:27:53,339 --> 00:27:57,409 and less like Certified Public Accountant Jack. 636 00:27:57,443 --> 00:27:59,645 -There you go. -Uh, okay. 637 00:27:59,678 --> 00:28:01,047 Oh... 638 00:28:01,080 --> 00:28:02,214 -Oh, no, no. That's okay. -JACK: Quit it. 639 00:28:02,248 --> 00:28:03,315 -That's okay. Donny, right? -Quit it. 640 00:28:03,349 --> 00:28:04,550 Michael. 641 00:28:04,583 --> 00:28:07,153 Michael, we can just boom him, okay? 642 00:28:07,186 --> 00:28:08,487 The pole with the thing on the end. 643 00:28:08,520 --> 00:28:09,756 Do you do sound, Michael? 644 00:28:09,789 --> 00:28:11,190 -Chuck does sound. -Okay. 645 00:28:11,223 --> 00:28:12,759 But he's at the lake with his family. 646 00:28:12,792 --> 00:28:14,193 Okay, well, that's too bad that he's not... 647 00:28:14,226 --> 00:28:15,862 -Eh, that's okay. That's okay. We'll just go without. -No. 648 00:28:15,895 --> 00:28:17,696 -Thank you, Donny. -Thank you, son. Thank you. 649 00:28:17,730 --> 00:28:18,998 Okay. 650 00:28:19,031 --> 00:28:20,332 Let's give it a try. 651 00:28:20,366 --> 00:28:21,734 There you are. 652 00:28:21,768 --> 00:28:23,535 Uh, this is... 653 00:28:23,569 --> 00:28:25,237 Why you are running for mayor. 654 00:28:26,272 --> 00:28:27,439 Wow. 655 00:28:27,473 --> 00:28:29,541 I quote Patton... 656 00:28:29,575 --> 00:28:30,877 and Jesus. 657 00:28:30,910 --> 00:28:32,078 Paraphrase. 658 00:28:32,111 --> 00:28:34,446 And you can't go to the prom without a corsage. 659 00:28:34,480 --> 00:28:36,415 (cows mooing) 660 00:28:36,448 --> 00:28:38,384 Let's make magic. 661 00:28:38,417 --> 00:28:41,120 All right. Thank you for coming. 662 00:28:41,153 --> 00:28:43,122 Could we quiet the cows, please?! 663 00:28:43,155 --> 00:28:45,024 Thank you! 664 00:28:45,057 --> 00:28:47,894 Ladies and gentlemen, Colonel Jack Hastings. 665 00:28:52,098 --> 00:28:54,066 So, uh, 666 00:28:54,100 --> 00:28:57,469 I am Colonel Jack Hastings, and... 667 00:28:57,503 --> 00:29:00,339 I'm running for mayor. 668 00:29:04,777 --> 00:29:07,279 So, uh... 669 00:29:07,313 --> 00:29:10,049 How we doing? 670 00:29:10,082 --> 00:29:12,618 All right. Beautifully put. 671 00:29:13,853 --> 00:29:15,621 Are there any questions for the Colonel? 672 00:29:15,654 --> 00:29:17,089 Anyone? 673 00:29:18,791 --> 00:29:20,759 Bueller? 674 00:29:20,793 --> 00:29:22,428 Uh, yes, Colonel. 675 00:29:22,461 --> 00:29:24,096 Yes, name and affiliation, please. 676 00:29:24,130 --> 00:29:26,632 -It's Dan. -Name and affiliation, please. 677 00:29:26,665 --> 00:29:28,467 I'm Dan. 678 00:29:28,500 --> 00:29:30,069 Go ahead, Daniel. 679 00:29:30,102 --> 00:29:31,470 Easy on the cows! 680 00:29:31,503 --> 00:29:33,639 Um, yes, Mr. Hastings, uh, Colonel, 681 00:29:33,672 --> 00:29:35,074 could you say that again? 682 00:29:35,107 --> 00:29:37,276 Because I-I don't think my recorder was on. 683 00:29:39,145 --> 00:29:40,947 Mm. Do it again? 684 00:29:40,980 --> 00:29:42,514 GARY: Hey, you know what? 685 00:29:42,548 --> 00:29:43,782 It's okay. 686 00:29:43,816 --> 00:29:45,017 -GARY: Now... -We'll get it. 687 00:29:45,051 --> 00:29:47,119 GARY: Okay, this one... 688 00:29:47,153 --> 00:29:49,321 What I'm looking for-- 689 00:29:49,355 --> 00:29:52,191 don't put all the black ones in the center. 690 00:29:52,224 --> 00:29:55,094 He's running as a moderate, okay? 691 00:29:55,127 --> 00:29:57,329 And if you could get some facing this way, 692 00:29:57,363 --> 00:29:58,865 that would be helpful. 693 00:29:58,898 --> 00:30:00,799 More local news tonight out of Deerlaken. 694 00:30:00,833 --> 00:30:02,268 Former Marine Colonel Jack Hastings 695 00:30:02,301 --> 00:30:04,470 announcing today that he's running for mayor 696 00:30:04,503 --> 00:30:06,005 as a Democrat. 697 00:30:06,038 --> 00:30:07,940 While Braun may have an incumbent's advantage, 698 00:30:07,974 --> 00:30:09,375 political insiders say Hastings 699 00:30:09,408 --> 00:30:11,443 is likely to give him a run for his money. 700 00:30:11,477 --> 00:30:12,845 Happening now, a major... 701 00:30:12,879 --> 00:30:15,614 JACK: Well, how much is this gonna cost? 702 00:30:15,647 --> 00:30:17,884 GARY: You let me worry about that. 703 00:30:17,917 --> 00:30:19,952 What I need from you are people, volunteers. 704 00:30:19,986 --> 00:30:21,453 We got a lot of legwork 705 00:30:21,487 --> 00:30:23,722 if we're gonna make a noise in this thing. 706 00:30:23,755 --> 00:30:25,391 -More coffee? -Oh, I'm good. 707 00:30:25,424 --> 00:30:27,126 No, I'm good, Lizzie. Thanks. 708 00:30:27,159 --> 00:30:28,827 You know what I do need? 709 00:30:28,861 --> 00:30:31,563 I need a couple buckets of that gravy 710 00:30:31,597 --> 00:30:33,933 so I can take a bath in it. 711 00:30:35,001 --> 00:30:37,203 So good. 712 00:30:37,236 --> 00:30:38,370 Delicious. 713 00:30:38,404 --> 00:30:39,872 (takes deep breath) 714 00:30:39,906 --> 00:30:42,141 My compliments to the chef. 715 00:30:42,174 --> 00:30:43,209 I'll let Ziggy know. 716 00:30:43,242 --> 00:30:44,476 Great. 717 00:30:44,510 --> 00:30:45,811 That ought to cheer him up. 718 00:30:45,844 --> 00:30:48,180 JACK: Just the check, Lizzie. 719 00:30:48,214 --> 00:30:50,182 Will do, Jack. 720 00:30:50,216 --> 00:30:53,019 GARY: What's the deal with the happy chef? 721 00:30:53,052 --> 00:30:55,021 JACK: Oh, Ziggy's all right. 722 00:30:55,054 --> 00:30:57,023 -Oh? -He owns the place. 723 00:30:57,056 --> 00:30:59,558 Eh, he may be a bit peeved about the election thing. 724 00:30:59,591 --> 00:31:02,261 He's Mayor Braun's brother. 725 00:31:02,294 --> 00:31:05,397 Why isn't this place called Braun's? 726 00:31:05,431 --> 00:31:10,436 The Hansens owned this place since probably... Korea. 727 00:31:10,469 --> 00:31:13,339 Bobby Hansen started it, his kids ran it for years, 728 00:31:13,372 --> 00:31:16,375 and had to sell once the base closed, 729 00:31:16,408 --> 00:31:20,246 but no matter who owns it, it'll always be Hansen's. 730 00:31:20,279 --> 00:31:23,182 Base closing really hammered this place. 731 00:31:23,215 --> 00:31:24,951 Yeah, it did. 732 00:31:24,984 --> 00:31:28,020 More than half of our storefronts have shut down. 733 00:31:28,054 --> 00:31:29,788 In fact, we're losing our high school 734 00:31:29,821 --> 00:31:31,924 if we can't come up with the funding. 735 00:31:31,958 --> 00:31:36,428 But no matter what folks might wish for here, 736 00:31:36,462 --> 00:31:38,230 it ain't coming back. 737 00:31:38,264 --> 00:31:40,432 "Vote for Jack Hastings, 738 00:31:40,466 --> 00:31:42,101 "'cause no matter what you wish for, 739 00:31:42,134 --> 00:31:44,636 -it ain't never coming back." -(chuckling) 740 00:31:44,670 --> 00:31:46,272 -I like it. It's good. -Well... 741 00:31:46,305 --> 00:31:48,640 -I'm not gonna lie to people. -No, I know. I know. 742 00:31:48,674 --> 00:31:51,577 I was just being witty and cynical. 743 00:31:51,610 --> 00:31:54,080 Can't win a battle if you're not honest 744 00:31:54,113 --> 00:31:56,448 about what you're really up against. 745 00:31:56,482 --> 00:31:58,050 No, you cannot. 746 00:31:58,084 --> 00:31:59,651 (footsteps approaching) 747 00:31:59,685 --> 00:32:01,988 LIZZIE: Not enough for a bath, 748 00:32:02,021 --> 00:32:04,156 but you can get a good foot soak in. 749 00:32:05,924 --> 00:32:06,993 GARY: Thank you. 750 00:32:07,026 --> 00:32:09,695 -A straw. -(chuckling) 751 00:32:11,697 --> 00:32:13,099 -(claps) -GARY: All right, let's bring it in. 752 00:32:13,132 --> 00:32:14,900 Everybody in. Ah... 753 00:32:14,933 --> 00:32:16,802 -phone bank! -OTHERS: Phone bank. 754 00:32:16,835 --> 00:32:18,237 Well, you'll get it next time. 755 00:32:18,270 --> 00:32:20,006 Okay, I want you to be upbeat. 756 00:32:20,039 --> 00:32:21,673 I want you to be positive. 757 00:32:21,707 --> 00:32:24,176 Active participation is what we're looking for. 758 00:32:24,210 --> 00:32:26,078 Would they volunteer? Would they donate? 759 00:32:26,112 --> 00:32:27,946 Can we drop off a lawn sign? 760 00:32:27,980 --> 00:32:29,915 -Would they donate? -(laughs) 761 00:32:29,948 --> 00:32:31,650 Would they donate? 762 00:32:31,683 --> 00:32:34,120 Yes, write that down. That's good. 763 00:32:34,153 --> 00:32:36,288 Got some sample scripts for you there. 764 00:32:36,322 --> 00:32:38,024 Contact list there. 765 00:32:38,057 --> 00:32:39,558 To the ramparts! 766 00:32:41,360 --> 00:32:43,129 That means go. You can begin. 767 00:32:43,162 --> 00:32:44,830 -Oh. -Now... 768 00:32:44,863 --> 00:32:46,698 you guys are my "A" team. 769 00:32:46,732 --> 00:32:49,201 So, first, we're going to take these lawn signs, 770 00:32:49,235 --> 00:32:52,104 and we're going to put them in all available public spaces. 771 00:32:52,138 --> 00:32:54,140 I want them visible but not obnoxiously so. 772 00:32:54,173 --> 00:32:57,343 Isn't it a little early for lawn signs? 773 00:32:59,145 --> 00:33:01,047 DIANA: I'm sorry. She just, um... 774 00:33:01,080 --> 00:33:02,448 'Cause just around here, 775 00:33:02,481 --> 00:33:04,183 sometimes people aren't so keen... 776 00:33:04,216 --> 00:33:06,518 -Mm-hmm. -But then, I do appreciate 777 00:33:06,552 --> 00:33:08,287 that you got the signs made. 778 00:33:08,320 --> 00:33:10,156 -Mm-hmm. -GARY: I mean, we've always used lawn signs. 779 00:33:10,189 --> 00:33:12,358 -Yeah. -They've worked for hundreds of years, so... 780 00:33:12,391 --> 00:33:14,060 -Great. -Yeah, let's just use 'em. 781 00:33:14,093 --> 00:33:16,062 Great. All right, Ann? 782 00:33:16,095 --> 00:33:18,064 -Hmm? Okay. -I want you to take the downtown area. 783 00:33:18,097 --> 00:33:20,566 Martha, Dave, how about everything west of 39? 784 00:33:20,599 --> 00:33:22,634 -(phones ringing) -And, Diana, I'd like you to stay here... 785 00:33:22,668 --> 00:33:24,170 -Hello? -MAN: Yeah? 786 00:33:24,203 --> 00:33:25,804 -...to do... -Good morning. 787 00:33:25,837 --> 00:33:27,473 Hi. This is Matthew, and I'm a volunteer 788 00:33:27,506 --> 00:33:28,707 -calling with Jack... -WOMAN: Matthew? 789 00:33:28,740 --> 00:33:29,875 -Matt... Matthew... -Hello? 790 00:33:29,908 --> 00:33:31,643 -Hello? -(overlapping chatter) 791 00:33:31,677 --> 00:33:33,245 -What are you doing? -(laughter) 792 00:33:33,279 --> 00:33:35,347 -Zimmer. -MICHAEL: Good morning, Mr. Zimmer. 793 00:33:35,381 --> 00:33:37,916 My name is Michael, calling on behalf of Colonel Hastings. 794 00:33:37,949 --> 00:33:40,219 Guys, guys, guys, guys. 795 00:33:40,252 --> 00:33:41,720 All right, this is what's happening here. 796 00:33:41,753 --> 00:33:43,989 You're calling off the office contact list. 797 00:33:44,022 --> 00:33:45,557 This is the voter contact list. 798 00:33:45,591 --> 00:33:47,559 -Oh. -(laughter) -GARY: So, yeah, I know. 799 00:33:47,593 --> 00:33:50,362 I want you to call the voter contact list. 800 00:33:50,396 --> 00:33:51,997 We're already voting for the Colonel. 801 00:33:52,030 --> 00:33:53,565 Okay? Good. 802 00:33:53,599 --> 00:33:55,267 Let's go do the signs, too. 803 00:33:55,301 --> 00:33:56,768 -(indistinct chatter) -GARY: Oh, my God. 804 00:33:56,802 --> 00:33:59,037 Keep doing that, guys. 805 00:33:59,071 --> 00:34:01,073 (gas pump sputtering, meter dinging steadily) 806 00:34:06,778 --> 00:34:09,281 Gar! Hey, D.C. Gary! 807 00:34:09,315 --> 00:34:12,284 -Hi. -Hey, Gar, come on over. 808 00:34:12,318 --> 00:34:14,553 Okay. All right. 809 00:34:14,586 --> 00:34:16,222 -Nothing, nothing, nothing. -(others muttering) 810 00:34:16,255 --> 00:34:17,889 Uh, that's a six. That is a five. 811 00:34:17,923 --> 00:34:19,191 And a four. Look at that. 812 00:34:19,225 --> 00:34:20,526 -And a seven. -Oh, my... Oh! 813 00:34:20,559 --> 00:34:22,261 -(bangs table) -I'm keeping it, baby! 814 00:34:22,294 --> 00:34:24,363 -Ah! -Hey, everybody. 815 00:34:24,396 --> 00:34:25,964 -Hey. -This is D.C. Gary. 816 00:34:25,997 --> 00:34:28,234 He's staying above the Hofbrau. 817 00:34:28,267 --> 00:34:29,568 -Hey. -GARY: Good to see you. 818 00:34:29,601 --> 00:34:30,569 Welcome to The Ambassador's Lounge. 819 00:34:30,602 --> 00:34:31,970 Thank you very much. 820 00:34:32,003 --> 00:34:33,372 Hear you're in town helping the Colonel. 821 00:34:33,405 --> 00:34:34,940 -Yes, I am. -He's a good man. 822 00:34:34,973 --> 00:34:36,642 He is. He is a good man. 823 00:34:36,675 --> 00:34:39,211 So, is this your campaign office here? 824 00:34:39,245 --> 00:34:41,280 -(laughter) -This? 825 00:34:41,313 --> 00:34:43,449 No, this is The Ambassador's Lounge, 826 00:34:43,482 --> 00:34:47,119 an elite, uh, social club of the area's top entrepreneurs, 827 00:34:47,153 --> 00:34:49,621 -athletes and raconteurs. -Ah. 828 00:34:49,655 --> 00:34:51,257 -It's a shithole. -(laughter) 829 00:34:51,290 --> 00:34:52,558 BIG MIKE: Hey, guys. 830 00:34:52,591 --> 00:34:54,660 Jack's already got lawn signs printed up. (chuckles) 831 00:34:58,697 --> 00:35:01,099 Well, I got to head out. 832 00:35:01,133 --> 00:35:03,001 Got a lot of work to catch up on. 833 00:35:03,034 --> 00:35:04,436 Pleasure meeting everybody. 834 00:35:04,470 --> 00:35:06,272 BRAUN: Hey, Father, you want to go with him? 835 00:35:06,305 --> 00:35:07,739 He might need a miracle or two. 836 00:35:07,773 --> 00:35:09,641 This town hasn't had a Democrat mayor 837 00:35:09,675 --> 00:35:11,843 since La Follette ruled these parts, and... 838 00:35:11,877 --> 00:35:14,513 hasn't had a Democratic Party since the '70s. 839 00:35:14,546 --> 00:35:15,981 -(laughter) -Gonna take a little bit more 840 00:35:16,014 --> 00:35:17,783 than lawn signs. 841 00:35:18,884 --> 00:35:20,452 Okay. 842 00:35:22,621 --> 00:35:24,022 (bell dings) 843 00:35:28,227 --> 00:35:30,429 NARRATOR: Colonel Jack Hastings. 844 00:35:30,462 --> 00:35:32,130 Tempered by war. 845 00:35:32,164 --> 00:35:35,133 Chain's only as strong as its weakest link. 846 00:35:35,167 --> 00:35:37,336 NARRATOR: Driven by faith. 847 00:35:37,369 --> 00:35:39,471 I am my brother's keeper. 848 00:35:39,505 --> 00:35:41,707 NARRATOR: A new kind of Democrat. 849 00:35:41,740 --> 00:35:44,443 A Democrat for the heartland. 850 00:35:44,476 --> 00:35:48,046 Jack Hastings, a redder kind of blue. 851 00:35:48,079 --> 00:35:50,349 ANNOUNCER: Paid for by Real Americans for... 852 00:35:50,382 --> 00:35:53,018 FAITH: What are you up to, Zimmer? 853 00:35:53,051 --> 00:35:56,054 I am telling you guys, Jack could be the real deal, 854 00:35:56,087 --> 00:35:57,623 on a national level. 855 00:35:57,656 --> 00:35:58,957 KURT (chuckles): On a national level? 856 00:35:58,990 --> 00:36:01,860 It's like he's a cross between... 857 00:36:01,893 --> 00:36:04,896 -MacArthur and elk jerky. -Wait, what? 858 00:36:04,930 --> 00:36:07,333 And one of those machines that test grip strength. 859 00:36:07,366 --> 00:36:09,235 Sounds too good to be true. 860 00:36:09,268 --> 00:36:11,036 GARY: Oh, my God. 861 00:36:11,069 --> 00:36:13,405 Semicolon. (laughs) 862 00:36:13,439 --> 00:36:15,574 She took the bait. 863 00:36:15,607 --> 00:36:18,176 It's on here, boys. Game on. 864 00:36:21,179 --> 00:36:22,881 -And let him be the star, you know? -Yeah. 865 00:36:22,914 --> 00:36:24,316 -(laughter) -Yep. -So... 866 00:36:24,350 --> 00:36:27,185 GARY: * A little bit of Hastings all the time * 867 00:36:27,219 --> 00:36:29,888 * We're gonna win election, yeah, yeah, yeah. * 868 00:36:29,921 --> 00:36:32,258 -Oh, yeah. Oh, here I am. -(Diana chuckles) 869 00:36:32,291 --> 00:36:34,260 (chuckles): Yes. Hello, party people. 870 00:36:34,293 --> 00:36:37,195 Oh, 'tis a beautiful day to be alive 871 00:36:37,229 --> 00:36:38,864 and on the vanguard of change. 872 00:36:38,897 --> 00:36:40,899 Who wants something to eat? 873 00:36:40,932 --> 00:36:42,268 They're so delicious. 874 00:36:45,203 --> 00:36:47,172 Okay. 875 00:36:47,205 --> 00:36:48,540 What's going on? 876 00:36:48,574 --> 00:36:50,542 Why all the long faces? 877 00:36:50,576 --> 00:36:51,777 Did you not see it? 878 00:36:51,810 --> 00:36:54,246 The billboard. 879 00:36:54,280 --> 00:36:57,716 The one on Main with the giant "Vote for Mayor Braun"? 880 00:36:57,749 --> 00:36:59,217 -Yes. -What about it? 881 00:36:59,251 --> 00:37:00,886 (scoffs) "What about it?" 882 00:37:00,919 --> 00:37:02,754 That's the Macgregor Ford billboard. 883 00:37:02,788 --> 00:37:04,290 Okay. 884 00:37:04,323 --> 00:37:05,857 Okay, so it's been the Macgregor Ford billboard 885 00:37:05,891 --> 00:37:07,092 for probably 40 years. 886 00:37:07,125 --> 00:37:08,560 God only knows how much it cost. 887 00:37:08,594 --> 00:37:11,096 And it looks like Braun has taken over Jerry's old office 888 00:37:11,129 --> 00:37:12,698 as some sort of campaign headquarters. 889 00:37:12,731 --> 00:37:14,800 Wait a second. Wait a second. Hold on. Hold on. 890 00:37:14,833 --> 00:37:17,303 Um, are you telling me that the mayor, 891 00:37:17,336 --> 00:37:19,305 who's running for reelection, 892 00:37:19,338 --> 00:37:23,375 has decided to advertise his campaign for mayor? 893 00:37:23,409 --> 00:37:26,878 And he's doing it from a... campaign office? 894 00:37:26,912 --> 00:37:29,281 Oh, my God! Oh, I... This is... 895 00:37:29,315 --> 00:37:31,283 This is overwhelming to me. 896 00:37:31,317 --> 00:37:32,584 (laughing): Oh, my God. 897 00:37:32,618 --> 00:37:33,985 I don't... I... 898 00:37:34,019 --> 00:37:35,053 What... (stammering) 899 00:37:35,086 --> 00:37:36,722 I have the vapors. I... 900 00:37:36,755 --> 00:37:37,789 I'm hyperventilating. 901 00:37:37,823 --> 00:37:40,058 Why are these spoons just standing there? 902 00:37:40,091 --> 00:37:41,460 You don't get it. 903 00:37:41,493 --> 00:37:42,828 (laughing) 904 00:37:42,861 --> 00:37:44,596 -Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. -(laughs) 905 00:37:44,630 --> 00:37:46,332 You don't get it. 906 00:37:46,365 --> 00:37:48,400 Do you have any idea how much that costs? 907 00:37:48,434 --> 00:37:50,235 Well, that space is 3,800 square feet, 908 00:37:50,268 --> 00:37:52,771 and it runs for $20 a square foot yearly. 909 00:37:52,804 --> 00:37:56,007 Prorated to two months is $7,600. 910 00:37:56,041 --> 00:37:59,110 The billboard, a little bit harder to decipher. 911 00:37:59,144 --> 00:38:01,246 But I'd say, based on the location 912 00:38:01,279 --> 00:38:04,483 and Mayor Braun's desperation, 8K all-in. 913 00:38:04,516 --> 00:38:06,117 Design and printing included. 914 00:38:06,151 --> 00:38:08,520 I don't know, maybe something like that. 915 00:38:08,554 --> 00:38:11,122 Well, there's no way that Braun's got that much money. 916 00:38:11,156 --> 00:38:14,159 Unless... this little campaign of ours 917 00:38:14,192 --> 00:38:17,496 has caught the attention of the national Republican Party 918 00:38:17,529 --> 00:38:20,466 and they are sending money and reinforcements. 919 00:38:20,499 --> 00:38:22,200 -(quiet gasping) -It's okay. 920 00:38:22,233 --> 00:38:25,136 It's exactly what we wanted to happen. 921 00:38:26,237 --> 00:38:28,106 They are scared. 922 00:38:28,139 --> 00:38:30,476 On a national level, 923 00:38:30,509 --> 00:38:33,579 they are scared of Colonel Jack. 924 00:38:35,313 --> 00:38:37,783 So we have to plan our next move. 925 00:38:37,816 --> 00:38:39,150 Come here. 926 00:38:40,352 --> 00:38:41,820 Gather round. 927 00:38:41,853 --> 00:38:44,055 We're going to need... 928 00:38:44,089 --> 00:38:46,658 something a little like... 929 00:38:46,692 --> 00:38:48,694 -that. -(others gasping) 930 00:38:50,095 --> 00:38:51,897 -WOMAN (chuckling): Wow. -(quiet murmuring) 931 00:38:54,099 --> 00:38:55,467 GARY: And you scroll down. 932 00:38:55,501 --> 00:38:57,335 DIANA: There's a "donate" button. 933 00:38:57,369 --> 00:39:00,672 Well, the money be just one clicky away. 934 00:39:00,706 --> 00:39:03,575 And one clicky goes to where? 935 00:39:03,609 --> 00:39:04,976 Our website. 936 00:39:05,010 --> 00:39:07,413 (chuckling): Oh, we don't have a web... 937 00:39:09,615 --> 00:39:11,016 (chuckling): Oh, wow. 938 00:39:11,049 --> 00:39:13,485 -MAN: Awesome. -(laughter, murmuring) 939 00:39:13,519 --> 00:39:15,253 GARY: Good slogan, right? 940 00:39:15,286 --> 00:39:17,155 You were one step ahead the whole time. 941 00:39:17,188 --> 00:39:19,525 Well, three or four, but thank you very much. 942 00:39:19,558 --> 00:39:20,859 I will take that. 943 00:39:20,892 --> 00:39:22,428 Oh, wow. 944 00:39:38,644 --> 00:39:40,646 (sighs) 945 00:39:48,587 --> 00:39:50,321 Mmm. 946 00:39:51,957 --> 00:39:53,959 Mmm. 947 00:39:53,992 --> 00:39:56,462 Know how I knew you were here? 948 00:39:56,495 --> 00:39:58,497 Your pussy tingled. 949 00:39:59,665 --> 00:40:01,900 Semicolon on the billboard. 950 00:40:01,933 --> 00:40:05,036 Classic Faith Brewster over-punctuation. 951 00:40:05,070 --> 00:40:07,739 Look, Zim, y'all punched your ticket 952 00:40:07,773 --> 00:40:11,777 on a changing demographic, and now whitey don't want you back. 953 00:40:11,810 --> 00:40:15,581 Okay, Jeb, exclamation point. 954 00:40:15,614 --> 00:40:17,649 Why are you here? 955 00:40:17,683 --> 00:40:19,785 Because I enjoy demoralizing you. 956 00:40:19,818 --> 00:40:22,253 Because crushing the last piece of hope in your eyes 957 00:40:22,287 --> 00:40:23,555 really gets me off. 958 00:40:23,589 --> 00:40:25,591 (clicks tongue, inhales deeply) 959 00:40:25,624 --> 00:40:28,660 (sighing): You are a twisted fuck, Faith. 960 00:40:28,694 --> 00:40:30,929 And you don't know Jack. 961 00:40:30,962 --> 00:40:32,831 Please don't tell me that is 962 00:40:32,864 --> 00:40:35,501 the campaign slogan you came up with. 963 00:40:37,803 --> 00:40:40,105 This guy, Zim, he's not the last Jedi, 964 00:40:40,138 --> 00:40:42,007 and even if he were, I'd still crush him 965 00:40:42,040 --> 00:40:43,642 because that's what I do. 966 00:40:43,675 --> 00:40:45,611 You realize, in that analogy, you're Darth Vader. 967 00:40:45,644 --> 00:40:47,613 -Whatever you say, nerd. -(chuckles) 968 00:40:47,646 --> 00:40:49,114 -It's good to see you. -Yeah. 969 00:40:49,147 --> 00:40:50,982 -You look fat. -(laughs) 970 00:40:54,352 --> 00:40:56,154 FAITH: Hmm. 971 00:40:56,187 --> 00:40:57,589 Divine, Ann. 972 00:40:57,623 --> 00:41:00,125 -You have to tell me your secret sometime. -Mm. 973 00:41:02,994 --> 00:41:04,563 I would never tell you. 974 00:41:05,631 --> 00:41:07,633 I'll never tell her. 975 00:41:07,666 --> 00:41:09,868 -Cream, two sugars. (laughs) -Oh. 976 00:41:09,901 --> 00:41:12,037 -No, that's not how I take it. -I know, but... 977 00:41:12,070 --> 00:41:13,805 Um, and here-here's some streusel I made for you, 978 00:41:13,839 --> 00:41:15,541 -and, um, it's still warm. -No, no, no, no, Ann, I can't. 979 00:41:15,574 --> 00:41:17,142 -And then these are cookies I made for you. -I can't. 980 00:41:17,175 --> 00:41:18,376 -I'm getting fat. I can't do that. -They're... 981 00:41:18,409 --> 00:41:19,477 -They're called the Garys, though. -Thank you. 982 00:41:19,511 --> 00:41:20,712 -I made these... -I know. I appreciate it. 983 00:41:20,746 --> 00:41:21,713 -Thank you. Okay. -Yeah. Okay. 984 00:41:21,747 --> 00:41:22,814 -Okay, bye-bye. -All right, then. 985 00:41:22,848 --> 00:41:23,849 Thank you. All right, then. 986 00:41:23,882 --> 00:41:25,150 -Bye-bye. Have a good day. -Okay. 987 00:41:25,183 --> 00:41:27,018 -Up all night for nothing. -(door closes, opens) 988 00:41:27,052 --> 00:41:28,720 -Coming back. There you go. -All right, just today. 989 00:41:28,754 --> 00:41:30,188 -Okay. (laughs) -Yeah. Thank you. 990 00:41:30,221 --> 00:41:31,523 Bye-bye, now. Bye-bye. 991 00:41:31,557 --> 00:41:32,958 Bye, Gar. 992 00:41:32,991 --> 00:41:34,626 (door closes) 993 00:41:34,660 --> 00:41:36,194 GARY: Have a good one. 994 00:41:36,227 --> 00:41:38,329 (sighs) 995 00:41:48,840 --> 00:41:50,742 (closes drawer) 996 00:41:52,844 --> 00:41:55,080 -Okay, good night. -GARY: Oh, hey. 997 00:41:55,113 --> 00:41:57,182 Good night. I didn't know anybody else was here. 998 00:41:57,215 --> 00:41:58,483 I just wanted to make sure 999 00:41:58,516 --> 00:42:00,218 everything was set for tomorrow. 1000 00:42:00,251 --> 00:42:02,554 I was just finishing up these pamphlets on immigration. 1001 00:42:02,588 --> 00:42:03,922 Ooh. (chuckles) 1002 00:42:03,955 --> 00:42:05,557 That sounds complicated. 1003 00:42:05,591 --> 00:42:07,192 I hope the small minds can manage. 1004 00:42:08,860 --> 00:42:10,596 (sighs) I'm sorry about that. 1005 00:42:10,629 --> 00:42:13,331 Sometimes, messaging for the base 1006 00:42:13,364 --> 00:42:16,568 doesn't resonate with the broader electorate. 1007 00:42:17,636 --> 00:42:20,105 Oh, okay. 1008 00:42:20,138 --> 00:42:24,643 So, to flatter them, you have to condescend to us. 1009 00:42:25,944 --> 00:42:28,113 I get it. 1010 00:42:28,146 --> 00:42:30,949 Uh, no, no, that wasn't... 1011 00:42:30,982 --> 00:42:33,218 that wasn't what... 1012 00:42:38,123 --> 00:42:40,125 Sorry. 1013 00:42:41,827 --> 00:42:43,595 How's your dad doing? 1014 00:42:43,629 --> 00:42:45,463 Is he okay? Nervous? 1015 00:42:45,496 --> 00:42:47,565 No. (chuckles) 1016 00:42:47,599 --> 00:42:50,268 No? Well, why would he be? He's been through a war. 1017 00:42:50,301 --> 00:42:51,870 He's not gonna sweat a fish fry. 1018 00:42:51,903 --> 00:42:54,139 -No, he doesn't really get nervous. -Mm-mm. 1019 00:42:54,172 --> 00:42:56,074 Just quiet. 1020 00:42:57,108 --> 00:42:58,910 Right. 1021 00:43:03,615 --> 00:43:05,583 Runs in the family. 1022 00:43:05,617 --> 00:43:07,018 (chuckles softly) 1023 00:43:09,420 --> 00:43:12,991 -Maybe. -Oh. (laughing) 1024 00:43:14,025 --> 00:43:15,593 Yes, my, uh... 1025 00:43:15,627 --> 00:43:19,597 my mom was really more of the talker. 1026 00:43:19,631 --> 00:43:22,267 She was... (inhales deeply) 1027 00:43:23,802 --> 00:43:26,471 You ever know anyone that just lit up a room? 1028 00:43:29,140 --> 00:43:30,575 Mm-hmm. 1029 00:43:30,608 --> 00:43:32,077 Well, she was that. (laughs) 1030 00:43:32,110 --> 00:43:33,679 Yeah. 1031 00:43:33,712 --> 00:43:35,446 -She sounds great. -Yeah. 1032 00:43:37,015 --> 00:43:39,985 So, why did your dad get involved with all this? 1033 00:43:40,018 --> 00:43:42,921 I mean, why speak at that meeting? 1034 00:43:42,954 --> 00:43:47,292 Why run when it involves talking and people? 1035 00:43:47,325 --> 00:43:49,094 (Diana chuckles) 1036 00:43:49,127 --> 00:43:52,597 I think he just loves this town. 1037 00:43:52,630 --> 00:43:56,501 You know, I think he'd do anything to save it. 1038 00:43:56,534 --> 00:43:58,670 What about you? 1039 00:43:58,704 --> 00:44:01,606 (chuckles) 1040 00:44:01,639 --> 00:44:04,309 Uh, I guess I would do 1041 00:44:04,342 --> 00:44:07,813 just about anything to save him. 1042 00:44:09,480 --> 00:44:11,149 (chuckles) 1043 00:44:12,818 --> 00:44:15,153 -(polka music playing) -(lively chatter) 1044 00:44:16,354 --> 00:44:19,190 (food sizzling) 1045 00:44:19,224 --> 00:44:21,159 Okay. You have a good day, now. 1046 00:44:21,192 --> 00:44:22,894 JACK: I'll just take one. 1047 00:44:25,496 --> 00:44:27,065 Hey. How are you this evening? 1048 00:44:27,098 --> 00:44:29,634 Pamphlet? Vote for Colonel Jack. 1049 00:44:29,667 --> 00:44:31,737 Colonel Jack pamphlet. 1050 00:44:31,770 --> 00:44:33,471 Vote for Colonel Jack. 1051 00:44:33,504 --> 00:44:35,540 (indistinct chatter) 1052 00:44:35,573 --> 00:44:37,142 How are y'all doing? 1053 00:44:37,175 --> 00:44:38,576 ...incredible database. 1054 00:44:38,609 --> 00:44:40,311 -Yeah. -And all your information is in there. 1055 00:44:40,345 --> 00:44:42,513 (indistinct chatter continues) 1056 00:44:49,587 --> 00:44:51,689 Hey, Gary. Sorry I'm late. 1057 00:44:51,723 --> 00:44:53,992 I was just waiting for these to get finished. 1058 00:44:54,025 --> 00:44:55,727 Beer Koozies might be a little more helpful 1059 00:44:55,761 --> 00:44:57,095 than just the pamphlets. 1060 00:44:58,563 --> 00:45:00,866 FAITH: And this is actually very simple. 1061 00:45:00,899 --> 00:45:03,201 You just type in your family's name... 1062 00:45:03,234 --> 00:45:05,403 DIANA: How big is that booth? 1063 00:45:08,373 --> 00:45:09,741 -Faith. -Gary. 1064 00:45:09,775 --> 00:45:12,377 You seem to be doing a brisk business. 1065 00:45:12,410 --> 00:45:14,045 "Deerlaken: always." 1066 00:45:14,079 --> 00:45:16,047 So, apparently, 1067 00:45:16,081 --> 00:45:18,216 "Deerlaken über alles" was copyrighted? 1068 00:45:18,249 --> 00:45:20,085 Well, we were gonna go with "I'm with him" 1069 00:45:20,118 --> 00:45:21,787 until we remembered how fucking stupid it sounded. 1070 00:45:21,820 --> 00:45:23,388 No, no, no, no. I love it. 1071 00:45:23,421 --> 00:45:25,623 I love the whole town genealogy angle. 1072 00:45:25,656 --> 00:45:27,458 It's got a real bold 1073 00:45:27,492 --> 00:45:29,460 "you ain't from around here" flavor. 1074 00:45:29,494 --> 00:45:31,429 -(laughs) -With subtle notes of, 1075 00:45:31,462 --> 00:45:33,198 -uh, xenophobia. -(laughs) 1076 00:45:33,231 --> 00:45:35,133 Not to mention the cognitive dissonance 1077 00:45:35,166 --> 00:45:37,602 that your booth is basically a love letter to immigration. 1078 00:45:37,635 --> 00:45:38,870 That's a great observation. 1079 00:45:38,904 --> 00:45:40,605 So all these people are hypocrites? 1080 00:45:40,638 --> 00:45:42,440 -I'd run with that. -All you have is fear. 1081 00:45:42,473 --> 00:45:43,775 -Now we're getting somewhere. -(giggles) 1082 00:45:43,809 --> 00:45:45,543 20 bucks says I do better with fear 1083 00:45:45,576 --> 00:45:46,778 than you do with shame. 1084 00:45:46,812 --> 00:45:47,879 -Oh. -MICHAEL: Okay. 1085 00:45:47,913 --> 00:45:49,280 It's all set, Miss Brewster. 1086 00:45:49,314 --> 00:45:51,216 (gasps) Thank you, sweetie. 1087 00:45:51,249 --> 00:45:53,551 GARY: Well, well, well. 1088 00:45:53,584 --> 00:45:55,453 I'm really sorry, Mr. Z. 1089 00:45:55,486 --> 00:45:57,555 I like working with you guys, but... 1090 00:45:57,588 --> 00:45:59,724 I'm saving up for a car, and she's paying us. 1091 00:45:59,757 --> 00:46:01,426 (mocking): "Eh, she's paying us." 1092 00:46:01,459 --> 00:46:05,763 Wow, way to stand up for what you believe in there... 1093 00:46:05,797 --> 00:46:08,233 -M... Michael. -It's Michael. 1094 00:46:08,266 --> 00:46:10,101 -Michael. I know his name is Michael. -His name is Michael. 1095 00:46:10,135 --> 00:46:11,469 -No, you don't. -I know it. 1096 00:46:11,502 --> 00:46:13,504 -I was pausing for effect, Michael. -It's okay, Michael. 1097 00:46:13,538 --> 00:46:16,307 -Character is destiny, Michael. -Oh, don't listen to him. 1098 00:46:16,341 --> 00:46:18,276 -Character is destiny. -He's a jerk. Oof. 1099 00:46:18,309 --> 00:46:19,744 Good burn. 1100 00:46:19,777 --> 00:46:21,612 Jack has lived here for 30 years. 1101 00:46:21,646 --> 00:46:23,414 You really think you can run a campaign 1102 00:46:23,448 --> 00:46:25,416 that paints him as a carpetbagger? 1103 00:46:25,450 --> 00:46:27,953 Probably not, but I think I can run one that says you are. 1104 00:46:27,986 --> 00:46:29,554 -MAN: Beer Koozie? -Oh, my God. 1105 00:46:30,989 --> 00:46:33,358 Oh. Hastings Koozie? 1106 00:46:33,391 --> 00:46:35,460 -Yeah. -Touché. 1107 00:46:35,493 --> 00:46:36,794 That's right. That's in our booth. 1108 00:46:36,828 --> 00:46:38,763 -What do you think of that? -MAN: Yeah, I'll take one. 1109 00:46:38,796 --> 00:46:40,966 What do you think of that right there? 1110 00:46:40,999 --> 00:46:43,334 -Boom, boom. What do you think of that? -(gasps) 1111 00:46:43,368 --> 00:46:45,170 -I don't... -DOT: Oh. 1112 00:46:45,203 --> 00:46:47,238 Sorry. Not you, Dot. 1113 00:46:48,673 --> 00:46:50,641 -DIANA: Hi. -(sighing): Oh, Dot. 1114 00:46:50,675 --> 00:46:53,044 -(polka music continues) -(lively chatter) 1115 00:46:55,346 --> 00:46:56,982 (laughing softly) 1116 00:46:57,015 --> 00:46:58,816 Oh. (chuckles) 1117 00:47:08,393 --> 00:47:10,495 DIANA: Oh. (chuckles) 1118 00:47:10,528 --> 00:47:12,397 (sighs, chuckles) 1119 00:47:19,037 --> 00:47:20,771 (chuckling) 1120 00:47:22,540 --> 00:47:24,075 Whoa. 1121 00:47:25,610 --> 00:47:27,612 (Diana laughing) 1122 00:47:40,625 --> 00:47:42,393 GARY: We're not doing this. 1123 00:47:42,427 --> 00:47:43,728 What? 1124 00:47:43,761 --> 00:47:45,530 GARY: Ugh. 1125 00:47:45,563 --> 00:47:48,533 -You go through my stuff? -(papers rustling) 1126 00:47:50,035 --> 00:47:51,937 Why here? You have your own room. 1127 00:47:51,970 --> 00:47:53,738 I don't want to smoke alone. 1128 00:47:53,771 --> 00:47:55,106 Oh, come on. Are... 1129 00:47:55,140 --> 00:47:56,607 Really? 1130 00:47:56,641 --> 00:47:58,243 (Faith laughs) 1131 00:47:58,276 --> 00:48:01,412 Gary, I'm bored. 1132 00:48:01,446 --> 00:48:03,514 Please, can we just forget it? 1133 00:48:03,548 --> 00:48:04,715 You've made your point. 1134 00:48:04,749 --> 00:48:06,284 There's Democrats with calloused hands. 1135 00:48:06,317 --> 00:48:09,054 Gonna bode very well for the midterms, I promise. 1136 00:48:09,087 --> 00:48:10,755 Now, can we just all go back to Washington 1137 00:48:10,788 --> 00:48:12,958 and forget that we ever made camp in a place 1138 00:48:12,991 --> 00:48:15,726 where the shit you skim off milk is considered a food? 1139 00:48:15,760 --> 00:48:18,196 They are called cheese curds, and they are delicious. 1140 00:48:18,229 --> 00:48:19,230 They're disgusting. 1141 00:48:19,264 --> 00:48:21,199 And you can't make poutine without them. 1142 00:48:21,232 --> 00:48:22,900 -Come on. Please. -Go. 1143 00:48:22,934 --> 00:48:24,802 You can go. You don't have to be here. 1144 00:48:24,835 --> 00:48:26,437 I made these people a promise. 1145 00:48:26,471 --> 00:48:27,872 I'm a good person. 1146 00:48:27,905 --> 00:48:29,207 It's your last chance, Zim. 1147 00:48:29,240 --> 00:48:30,908 I'm gonna make a big deal of this. 1148 00:48:30,942 --> 00:48:33,444 Tons of press, lots of money. You're gonna lose, 1149 00:48:33,478 --> 00:48:35,413 and then you're gonna look like a giant asshole. 1150 00:48:35,446 --> 00:48:36,982 Good. That's what I want. 1151 00:48:37,015 --> 00:48:40,718 Not the asshole but for you to make a big deal of this. 1152 00:48:40,751 --> 00:48:43,121 I want it to be a big deal. It is a big deal. 1153 00:48:43,154 --> 00:48:44,889 Well, let's make it interesting. 1154 00:48:44,922 --> 00:48:46,291 Okay, why don't we? 1155 00:48:46,324 --> 00:48:49,494 The loser has to eat the winner's pussy out for an hour. 1156 00:48:49,527 --> 00:48:53,164 You better grab a big old bib, 'cause it's chow time. 1157 00:48:53,198 --> 00:48:54,599 (snickers) 1158 00:48:54,632 --> 00:48:56,101 Dick chow time. 1159 00:48:56,134 --> 00:48:57,969 'Cause I'm gonna win, 1160 00:48:58,003 --> 00:49:00,771 -and you're gonna have to eat my dick for an hour. -Wha... 1161 00:49:00,805 --> 00:49:02,340 GARY (in distance): And you know something? 1162 00:49:02,373 --> 00:49:04,442 That's a long time, dick-eating-wise. 1163 00:49:04,475 --> 00:49:05,676 (door closes) 1164 00:49:06,711 --> 00:49:08,946 A long time! 1165 00:49:08,980 --> 00:49:11,016 To eat my dick. 1166 00:49:12,350 --> 00:49:15,120 (intense music playing) 1167 00:49:15,153 --> 00:49:16,954 NARRATOR: In a dangerous world 1168 00:49:16,988 --> 00:49:18,623 -gone mad... -(roaring) 1169 00:49:18,656 --> 00:49:20,992 we need emotionally stable leadership. 1170 00:49:21,026 --> 00:49:23,161 (distorted, maniacal laughing) 1171 00:49:23,194 --> 00:49:25,630 Only Mayor Braun is stable enough 1172 00:49:25,663 --> 00:49:27,999 to keep Deerlaken safe, 1173 00:49:28,033 --> 00:49:30,435 to keep Deerlaken Deerlaken. 1174 00:49:30,468 --> 00:49:32,037 (laughing) 1175 00:49:32,070 --> 00:49:33,838 I got you. 1176 00:49:33,871 --> 00:49:36,841 I'm Mayor Braun, and I approve this message. 1177 00:49:36,874 --> 00:49:38,209 Here. 1178 00:49:38,243 --> 00:49:40,378 ANNOUNCER: Paid for by Traditional Wisconsin Families 1179 00:49:40,411 --> 00:49:41,946 for Faith and Freedom. 1180 00:49:41,979 --> 00:49:44,682 -(phones ringing) -(indistinct chatter) 1181 00:49:44,715 --> 00:49:46,817 FAITH: They've taken the office just across from mine. 1182 00:49:46,851 --> 00:49:48,053 They're definitely ramping up, 1183 00:49:48,086 --> 00:49:50,221 so I'm gonna need the full crew. 1184 00:49:50,255 --> 00:49:53,224 If Zimmer wants to take a stand in Turdsville, USA, 1185 00:49:53,258 --> 00:49:55,026 I say we bury him here. 1186 00:49:55,060 --> 00:49:56,461 Sorry. 1187 00:49:56,494 --> 00:49:57,862 Not a turd. 1188 00:49:57,895 --> 00:49:59,630 Heart and soul of America. 1189 00:49:59,664 --> 00:50:01,566 Get me the nerdy guy from analytics. 1190 00:50:01,599 --> 00:50:04,169 -MAN (on phone): Who's that? -I don't know his name. 1191 00:50:04,202 --> 00:50:06,037 He wears glasses and plaid. 1192 00:50:06,071 --> 00:50:08,173 -Has a very complicated beard. -Which one? 1193 00:50:08,206 --> 00:50:11,309 FAITH: How the fuck does that not narrow it down? I... 1194 00:50:11,342 --> 00:50:13,678 -God fucking damn it. -What? 1195 00:50:13,711 --> 00:50:16,214 And send me everyone by yesterday. 1196 00:50:16,247 --> 00:50:17,882 (over phone): I'll get on it. 1197 00:50:17,915 --> 00:50:19,350 -(slams phone on table) -(exhales) 1198 00:50:30,261 --> 00:50:31,962 GARY: Sor... Hey, Dot. 1199 00:50:34,732 --> 00:50:36,167 -ANN: Gary. -KURT: Hey, big guy? 1200 00:50:36,201 --> 00:50:38,203 -Yes. -We got a problem. 1201 00:50:39,604 --> 00:50:41,005 What's up? 1202 00:50:41,038 --> 00:50:43,174 Having trouble rounding up focus groups? 1203 00:50:43,208 --> 00:50:44,409 No. 1204 00:50:44,442 --> 00:50:45,910 -(dial-up modem droning, beeping) -Shh. 1205 00:50:49,147 --> 00:50:51,282 KURT (scoffs): I don't even know what to say. 1206 00:50:51,316 --> 00:50:53,718 Hey, hey, everybody. 1207 00:50:53,751 --> 00:50:56,421 Do we know why we have dial-up in this space? 1208 00:50:56,454 --> 00:50:57,755 MAN: Duffy had it upgraded 1209 00:50:57,788 --> 00:50:59,524 right before he closed the shop. 1210 00:50:59,557 --> 00:51:00,558 Upgraded from what? 1211 00:51:01,892 --> 00:51:03,894 -Nothing. -Well, is there any way 1212 00:51:03,928 --> 00:51:06,097 we can piggyback Wi-Fi from someplace? 1213 00:51:06,131 --> 00:51:08,599 Uh, there's a place where the kids go and they do homework 1214 00:51:08,633 --> 00:51:09,900 and they play games and whatnot. 1215 00:51:09,934 --> 00:51:12,403 -I know the password. -GARY: Okay. 1216 00:51:12,437 --> 00:51:14,539 -Solving problems. -ANN: Nice! 1217 00:51:14,572 --> 00:51:16,574 (typing) 1218 00:51:20,445 --> 00:51:21,812 (knocking on window) 1219 00:51:21,846 --> 00:51:23,848 (Gary sighs) 1220 00:51:25,816 --> 00:51:29,754 Listen, I... I don't think you're allowed to be here 1221 00:51:29,787 --> 00:51:32,890 unless you're on official school business, so... 1222 00:51:32,923 --> 00:51:35,393 Okay, look, uh, Officer... 1223 00:51:35,426 --> 00:51:37,262 -Tommy. -Officer Tommy. 1224 00:51:37,295 --> 00:51:40,064 Um, we are with the Hastings campaign, 1225 00:51:40,097 --> 00:51:42,433 and we're trying to get some work done here. 1226 00:51:42,467 --> 00:51:44,068 It's sort of time-sensitive. 1227 00:51:44,101 --> 00:51:47,104 So... um, okay, here we go. 1228 00:51:47,138 --> 00:51:49,073 Here is a pen. 1229 00:51:49,106 --> 00:51:51,176 -Okay. -And... 1230 00:51:51,209 --> 00:51:53,511 -one of these beer thingies. -KURT: Koozie. 1231 00:51:53,544 --> 00:51:56,314 Koozie, and, uh... 1232 00:51:56,347 --> 00:51:58,616 thank you for your service. 1233 00:52:04,121 --> 00:52:06,123 (typing continues) 1234 00:52:11,829 --> 00:52:14,399 -(knocking on window) -Oh, for God sakes. 1235 00:52:15,866 --> 00:52:19,003 Hello, boys. 1236 00:52:19,036 --> 00:52:20,805 (muffled): Gentlemen, these are children! 1237 00:52:20,838 --> 00:52:22,440 -DIANA: Hey. -Hi. -Children! 1238 00:52:22,473 --> 00:52:25,042 -Great job, guys. -And do you know what that looked like? 1239 00:52:25,075 --> 00:52:26,777 Sitting in your car? 1240 00:52:26,811 --> 00:52:28,879 A bunch of boys on the computer? 1241 00:52:30,147 --> 00:52:32,750 (clapping) 1242 00:52:35,186 --> 00:52:37,355 No, no, no. Thank you. 1243 00:52:37,388 --> 00:52:40,458 So, I see they sprung you from detention, huh? 1244 00:52:40,491 --> 00:52:42,126 Yeah, apparently, small-town hospitality 1245 00:52:42,159 --> 00:52:44,195 doesn't apply to Wi-Fi. 1246 00:52:44,229 --> 00:52:45,896 They're not too keen on strangers staking out 1247 00:52:45,930 --> 00:52:47,965 a school parking lot-- you know, kids and all. 1248 00:52:47,998 --> 00:52:49,667 Yeah, in hindsight, that makes complete sense. 1249 00:52:49,700 --> 00:52:51,001 JACK: Mm-hmm. 1250 00:52:51,035 --> 00:52:53,003 Guys, could I talk to you for a sec? 1251 00:52:53,037 --> 00:52:54,171 -Yeah. -My office. 1252 00:52:54,205 --> 00:52:56,173 Come on in. Have a seat. 1253 00:52:56,207 --> 00:52:57,975 You can leave the door open. 1254 00:52:58,008 --> 00:52:59,710 -Here's the deal. -(claps) 1255 00:52:59,744 --> 00:53:02,179 Our opponents are pumping way more into this 1256 00:53:02,213 --> 00:53:04,081 than I ever expected them to. 1257 00:53:04,114 --> 00:53:07,151 -DIANA: Huh. -This rinky-dink stuff is not gonna fly. 1258 00:53:07,184 --> 00:53:09,186 We need to up our fundraising game. 1259 00:53:09,220 --> 00:53:11,155 Okay. That's... 1260 00:53:11,188 --> 00:53:13,924 Sure. Do you want to do, uh, like, a street fair or...? 1261 00:53:13,958 --> 00:53:15,926 -That's a good idea. -(Gary chuckles) 1262 00:53:15,960 --> 00:53:17,428 No, it's not a good idea. 1263 00:53:17,462 --> 00:53:19,564 Don't... No, we're not gonna do that. 1264 00:53:19,597 --> 00:53:21,666 Have you ever been to New York? 1265 00:53:21,699 --> 00:53:23,568 (dial-up modem droning) 1266 00:53:25,236 --> 00:53:27,372 Oh, my God, please unplug it. 1267 00:53:27,405 --> 00:53:29,006 Please unplug it. 1268 00:53:29,039 --> 00:53:30,375 (droning continues) 1269 00:53:30,408 --> 00:53:32,410 Unplug it! 1270 00:53:32,443 --> 00:53:34,178 (food crunching) 1271 00:53:34,211 --> 00:53:36,581 GARY: I'm just looking at the guest list here. 1272 00:53:36,614 --> 00:53:38,949 Great. Great turnout. 1273 00:53:38,983 --> 00:53:41,619 Especially considering the short notice. 1274 00:53:41,652 --> 00:53:43,187 Really good. 1275 00:53:43,220 --> 00:53:44,589 (exhales slowly) 1276 00:53:44,622 --> 00:53:47,392 Mmm. You ever have one of those? 1277 00:53:49,594 --> 00:53:51,562 Yeah, green beans. 1278 00:53:51,596 --> 00:53:53,063 Haricot vert. 1279 00:53:53,097 --> 00:53:54,399 (green bean crunching) 1280 00:53:54,432 --> 00:53:57,468 Isn't that French for "green beans"? 1281 00:53:57,502 --> 00:54:00,104 These are more delicate. 1282 00:54:00,137 --> 00:54:01,772 Thinner, more flavorful. 1283 00:54:04,842 --> 00:54:07,512 -I didn't know you spoke French. -Mm. 1284 00:54:10,315 --> 00:54:11,916 Would you like something? 1285 00:54:11,949 --> 00:54:14,084 No, no. 1286 00:54:15,453 --> 00:54:17,254 (crunching) 1287 00:54:17,288 --> 00:54:19,290 This too loud? 1288 00:54:23,260 --> 00:54:24,995 (clears throat quietly) 1289 00:54:26,331 --> 00:54:28,533 (grunting softly) 1290 00:54:32,303 --> 00:54:33,971 (swallows) 1291 00:54:34,004 --> 00:54:36,040 (grunting) 1292 00:54:42,847 --> 00:54:44,349 (coughs quietly) 1293 00:54:49,987 --> 00:54:51,422 -(elevator bell dings) -Richard and Ginnie Peeler 1294 00:54:51,456 --> 00:54:52,423 are hosting. 1295 00:54:52,457 --> 00:54:53,991 He's a hedge fund swell. 1296 00:54:54,024 --> 00:54:56,193 She's been saving the Hudson for about 25 years. 1297 00:54:56,226 --> 00:54:58,028 Richard Peeler. Yeah? 1298 00:54:58,062 --> 00:54:59,697 Got it. 1299 00:55:01,799 --> 00:55:03,801 Are you, like, 12? 1300 00:55:05,503 --> 00:55:07,171 -(both chuckle) -(elevator bell dings) 1301 00:55:07,204 --> 00:55:09,273 RICHARD: It's not only that the sand traps are deeper, 1302 00:55:09,306 --> 00:55:11,376 but the quality of the sand at... 1303 00:55:11,409 --> 00:55:13,043 Excuse me. Gary! Hey. 1304 00:55:13,077 --> 00:55:15,179 Dick Peeler. 1305 00:55:15,212 --> 00:55:17,682 RICHARD: Gary, thank you for coming. 1306 00:55:17,715 --> 00:55:19,784 GARY: Oh, my pleasure. Thanks for having us. 1307 00:55:19,817 --> 00:55:21,285 RICHARD: Well, we're really, really excited. 1308 00:55:21,318 --> 00:55:23,454 GARY: We're excited. Jack! Jack! 1309 00:55:23,488 --> 00:55:25,055 I'd like you to meet Richard Peeler. 1310 00:55:25,089 --> 00:55:26,290 -What an honor. -Colonel Jack Hastings. 1311 00:55:26,323 --> 00:55:27,992 -Oh. -Very nice to meet you. 1312 00:55:28,025 --> 00:55:29,960 -Thank you for... having us. -Oh, it's really an honor. 1313 00:55:29,994 --> 00:55:32,029 -And, uh... -Yeah. 1314 00:55:32,062 --> 00:55:34,665 No, it's, uh, you know, the authentic thing here. 1315 00:55:34,699 --> 00:55:36,300 I see that. It's amazing. 1316 00:55:36,333 --> 00:55:38,068 Uh, can I get you something to drink? 1317 00:55:38,102 --> 00:55:39,637 Sure. What would you like? 1318 00:55:39,670 --> 00:55:42,807 Uh, I'd like a little, uh, tea. 1319 00:55:42,840 --> 00:55:44,742 Chamomile if you have it. 1320 00:55:44,775 --> 00:55:46,210 (laughs) All right. 1321 00:55:46,243 --> 00:55:47,578 That's fine. You want a Scotch. 1322 00:55:47,612 --> 00:55:48,946 -Yes, please. -Yes, I know that. 1323 00:55:51,882 --> 00:55:54,952 (indistinct conversations) 1324 00:55:56,721 --> 00:55:58,489 MAN: He's a criminal. 1325 00:55:58,523 --> 00:55:59,857 Oh, thank you. 1326 00:55:59,890 --> 00:56:01,191 He's a criminal. 1327 00:56:01,225 --> 00:56:02,660 Trust me, I've done deals with him. 1328 00:56:02,693 --> 00:56:04,361 WOMAN: Our democracy is falling apart. 1329 00:56:04,395 --> 00:56:05,596 We're gonna lose it. 1330 00:56:05,630 --> 00:56:07,331 Tom Friedman had a great line. 1331 00:56:07,364 --> 00:56:09,500 MAN: I like to say he's the Bitcoin of presidents. 1332 00:56:09,534 --> 00:56:11,402 WOMAN: Her whole dress line was made in China. 1333 00:56:11,436 --> 00:56:13,337 WOMAN: The man is mentally ill. 1334 00:56:13,370 --> 00:56:14,739 MAN: Fuckface von Clownstick. 1335 00:56:14,772 --> 00:56:16,507 MAN: I'm mad? We should all be mad. 1336 00:56:16,541 --> 00:56:19,043 MAN: I mean, what kind of person hunts elephants? 1337 00:56:19,076 --> 00:56:21,378 And there's not a whole lot of the, um... 1338 00:56:21,412 --> 00:56:22,780 What did you call that? 1339 00:56:22,813 --> 00:56:24,749 -Uh, farm-to-table. -The farm-to-table. 1340 00:56:24,782 --> 00:56:29,186 I mean, I guess it all kind of, uh... 1341 00:56:29,219 --> 00:56:33,791 all goes from farms to tables of some kind. 1342 00:56:37,261 --> 00:56:39,764 RICHARD: We're so excited that you're all here. 1343 00:56:39,797 --> 00:56:42,099 And we are so thankful 1344 00:56:42,132 --> 00:56:44,234 to our old friend for presenting us 1345 00:56:44,268 --> 00:56:47,738 with another informative and, uh, just stimulating evening. 1346 00:56:47,772 --> 00:56:49,940 -Oh. -(laughter) 1347 00:56:49,974 --> 00:56:51,876 RICHARD: You know him. You love him. 1348 00:56:51,909 --> 00:56:53,544 -And sometimes hate. -(laughter) 1349 00:56:53,578 --> 00:56:56,614 -Hate writing the checks, but, uh, you know. -Yeah. 1350 00:56:58,015 --> 00:57:00,250 -Gary. -Thank you. Thanks so much. 1351 00:57:00,284 --> 00:57:01,719 Thanks for coming. 1352 00:57:01,752 --> 00:57:02,987 And thank you... 1353 00:57:03,020 --> 00:57:05,289 Keep that going for the Peelers, please. 1354 00:57:05,322 --> 00:57:07,892 Their tremendous hospitality. 1355 00:57:07,925 --> 00:57:10,260 Listen, I'm not gonna take up too much of your time 1356 00:57:10,294 --> 00:57:12,997 other than to say thank you all for being here. 1357 00:57:13,030 --> 00:57:16,066 One thing I do want to say, though, is that 1358 00:57:16,100 --> 00:57:19,904 Colonel Jack Hastings is the embodiment 1359 00:57:19,937 --> 00:57:22,172 of America's real greatness. 1360 00:57:22,206 --> 00:57:26,176 Service to nation, hard work, faith. 1361 00:57:26,210 --> 00:57:29,346 Republicans don't own those values, do they? 1362 00:57:29,379 --> 00:57:30,948 -(crowd murmuring) -They don't own 'em. 1363 00:57:30,981 --> 00:57:32,917 They can't. 1364 00:57:32,950 --> 00:57:34,351 Inclusion. 1365 00:57:34,384 --> 00:57:35,920 That's the most important of all. 1366 00:57:35,953 --> 00:57:37,855 But sometimes, we get comfortable 1367 00:57:37,888 --> 00:57:39,657 in our own little ideological bubbles. 1368 00:57:39,690 --> 00:57:41,258 I see them. 1369 00:57:41,291 --> 00:57:43,127 You can't see them, necessarily, but I see 'em. 1370 00:57:43,160 --> 00:57:44,529 There's a little bubble there. 1371 00:57:44,562 --> 00:57:46,497 -(laughter) -There's a little bubble there. 1372 00:57:46,531 --> 00:57:48,699 And we forget to reach out. 1373 00:57:48,733 --> 00:57:51,368 To find empathy and understanding 1374 00:57:51,401 --> 00:57:55,105 across religious or racial 1375 00:57:55,139 --> 00:57:57,875 or just plain geographical boundaries. 1376 00:57:57,908 --> 00:58:00,811 And I hope tonight changes that, even just a little bit. 1377 00:58:01,846 --> 00:58:04,181 So, without further ado, 1378 00:58:04,214 --> 00:58:06,651 I would like you to join me in welcoming 1379 00:58:06,684 --> 00:58:10,454 the next mayor of Deerlaken, Wisconsin, 1380 00:58:10,487 --> 00:58:12,790 Colonel Jack Hastings. 1381 00:58:12,823 --> 00:58:14,825 -(applause, whooping) -MAN: Hear, hear. 1382 00:58:19,496 --> 00:58:22,466 Uh, uh... thanks, folks. 1383 00:58:22,499 --> 00:58:25,536 And thanks to Gary 1384 00:58:25,570 --> 00:58:28,539 -and to the Peelers. -RICHARD: Thank you. 1385 00:58:28,573 --> 00:58:31,175 Wow, this is a great house. 1386 00:58:31,208 --> 00:58:33,077 It's a great house. 1387 00:58:33,110 --> 00:58:35,312 Um... 1388 00:58:35,345 --> 00:58:37,047 (chuckles quietly) 1389 00:58:37,081 --> 00:58:39,650 I see some of you are... 1390 00:58:39,684 --> 00:58:42,352 wondering what I'm doing here. 1391 00:58:43,387 --> 00:58:44,622 And... 1392 00:58:45,923 --> 00:58:48,525 I think I'm wondering the same. 1393 00:58:49,860 --> 00:58:51,495 Uh... 1394 00:58:51,528 --> 00:58:53,530 I guess that's the point. 1395 00:58:55,199 --> 00:58:58,669 Without all this, you might never have met me. 1396 00:58:58,703 --> 00:59:02,139 And I certainly wouldn't have met you. 1397 00:59:03,540 --> 00:59:04,942 But... 1398 00:59:06,577 --> 00:59:08,579 ...uh, now we have. 1399 00:59:10,047 --> 00:59:11,582 (sighs) 1400 00:59:11,616 --> 00:59:14,118 So, uh... 1401 00:59:16,887 --> 00:59:18,188 Um... 1402 00:59:18,222 --> 00:59:19,924 Colonel, Colonel. 1403 00:59:19,957 --> 00:59:22,526 -Yeah. -Gary Zimmer from "The D.C. Bugle." 1404 00:59:22,559 --> 00:59:24,862 -(laughter) -Um, why... 1405 00:59:24,895 --> 00:59:28,933 why should a bunch of uptight Upper West Siders care about 1406 00:59:28,966 --> 00:59:30,635 a little town in Wisconsin? 1407 00:59:30,668 --> 00:59:32,637 (quiet murmuring) 1408 00:59:32,670 --> 00:59:35,105 Uh, it's hard to say. 1409 00:59:36,240 --> 00:59:38,408 I guess we're hurting, 1410 00:59:38,442 --> 00:59:41,445 looking for help from you. 1411 00:59:43,648 --> 00:59:45,415 What can we do to help? 1412 00:59:45,449 --> 00:59:47,584 I'll take that. Money. 1413 00:59:47,618 --> 00:59:49,553 -(laughter) -Money. 1414 00:59:49,586 --> 00:59:52,456 It's a serious question, actually. 1415 00:59:52,489 --> 00:59:55,259 You know, our politics seem broken. 1416 00:59:55,292 --> 00:59:59,596 Colonel, what do you see is the system's greatest weakness? 1417 01:00:02,767 --> 01:00:06,570 Hmm, well, I guess, for one thing, 1418 01:00:06,603 --> 01:00:08,973 this. 1419 01:00:09,006 --> 01:00:10,641 Here, tonight. 1420 01:00:12,376 --> 01:00:15,379 And I mean no disrespect. 1421 01:00:16,647 --> 01:00:19,917 I just think this seems a bit crazy. 1422 01:00:19,950 --> 01:00:22,086 I want to help my town. 1423 01:00:22,119 --> 01:00:24,021 I want to be mayor, 1424 01:00:24,054 --> 01:00:27,257 some town in the middle of Wisconsin. 1425 01:00:27,291 --> 01:00:29,159 So, instead of being home 1426 01:00:29,193 --> 01:00:32,196 working on some smart things to help my town, 1427 01:00:32,229 --> 01:00:35,099 I have to fly here to your town 1428 01:00:35,132 --> 01:00:38,035 and convince you that my town's worth saving. 1429 01:00:38,068 --> 01:00:40,838 And that I'm worth it. 1430 01:00:40,871 --> 01:00:44,608 And that saving it is worth it to you. 1431 01:00:44,641 --> 01:00:46,777 All so you can give me some money. 1432 01:00:46,811 --> 01:00:49,814 Not for my town, but for me. 1433 01:00:49,847 --> 01:00:54,418 To help convince my town that I'm worth it. 1434 01:00:56,253 --> 01:00:59,623 I mean... 1435 01:00:59,656 --> 01:01:03,994 I don't know, it just sounds so stupid. 1436 01:01:05,662 --> 01:01:06,831 (sighs) 1437 01:01:08,432 --> 01:01:09,867 (Jack grunts softly) 1438 01:01:19,109 --> 01:01:20,745 Still crying? 1439 01:01:22,412 --> 01:01:24,715 GARY: A little bit. 1440 01:01:24,749 --> 01:01:26,183 JACK: Mm. 1441 01:01:27,785 --> 01:01:32,489 You gonna do that all the way home? 1442 01:01:32,522 --> 01:01:34,224 Yes. 1443 01:01:37,261 --> 01:01:39,263 Why? 1444 01:01:40,530 --> 01:01:42,566 Because the seat belt sign is on 1445 01:01:42,599 --> 01:01:45,435 and I can't get up to hug you. 1446 01:01:45,469 --> 01:01:48,372 Damn, Jack. 1447 01:01:48,405 --> 01:01:50,908 (sighs) You walked in there, 1448 01:01:50,941 --> 01:01:54,011 into the lion's den like that... 1449 01:01:54,044 --> 01:01:55,079 Daniel. 1450 01:01:55,112 --> 01:01:56,914 Yeah, and just... 1451 01:01:56,947 --> 01:02:00,184 you told 'em, straight up, this isn't right. 1452 01:02:00,217 --> 01:02:02,352 This is wrong. The system is corrupt. 1453 01:02:02,386 --> 01:02:04,621 (imitating Al Pacino): I'm out of order? You're out of order. 1454 01:02:04,654 --> 01:02:06,190 The whole damn system's out of order! 1455 01:02:06,223 --> 01:02:08,725 Attica! Att... 1456 01:02:08,759 --> 01:02:10,060 (grunts intensely) 1457 01:02:10,094 --> 01:02:12,129 (gasps) Money. 1458 01:02:12,162 --> 01:02:16,600 Oh, God, their money is the problem? 1459 01:02:16,633 --> 01:02:19,069 (chuckling): Oh! 1460 01:02:19,103 --> 01:02:20,771 You should've seen their faces. 1461 01:02:20,805 --> 01:02:22,406 I saw. 1462 01:02:22,439 --> 01:02:26,076 They ate it up. 1463 01:02:26,110 --> 01:02:28,612 We could've named our price. 1464 01:02:28,645 --> 01:02:31,115 (grunts, laughs) 1465 01:02:31,148 --> 01:02:32,883 Oh, no way Faith matches. 1466 01:02:32,917 --> 01:02:35,252 -And why is that, now? -Oh. 1467 01:02:35,285 --> 01:02:38,388 Because they're spending to stop something, 1468 01:02:38,422 --> 01:02:40,457 and we're spending to start something. 1469 01:02:41,658 --> 01:02:43,493 -(Gary sighs) -Hmm. 1470 01:02:43,527 --> 01:02:45,429 (imitating Peter Finch): I'm mad as hell, 1471 01:02:45,462 --> 01:02:47,832 and I can't take it anymore! 1472 01:02:47,865 --> 01:02:50,167 -(Jack chuckles) -(gasps) Oh! 1473 01:02:50,200 --> 01:02:52,502 Gary, you... green bean? 1474 01:02:52,536 --> 01:02:54,004 No. (laughs) 1475 01:02:54,038 --> 01:02:55,940 Okay. No, thank you. 1476 01:02:58,042 --> 01:03:00,110 (sighs): Wow. 1477 01:03:00,144 --> 01:03:02,813 I'm telling you, he is the real deal. 1478 01:03:02,847 --> 01:03:05,649 It is like a Bill Clinton with impulse control. 1479 01:03:05,682 --> 01:03:07,651 Like a churchgoing Bernie Sanders 1480 01:03:07,684 --> 01:03:09,353 with better bone density. 1481 01:03:09,386 --> 01:03:10,988 -He... Oh, here they are. -JACK: Hello. Good morning. 1482 01:03:11,021 --> 01:03:12,622 Here they are. 1483 01:03:12,656 --> 01:03:14,624 Ladies and gentlemen, the next mayor of Deerlaken 1484 01:03:14,658 --> 01:03:15,960 and his talented first daughter. 1485 01:03:15,993 --> 01:03:18,095 -Please join me. -You are fired up, huh? 1486 01:03:18,128 --> 01:03:20,330 I am fired... Why wouldn't I be fired up? 1487 01:03:20,364 --> 01:03:24,634 I am working with the future of the Democratic Party here. 1488 01:03:24,668 --> 01:03:27,771 Oh, your dad the other night was transcendent. 1489 01:03:27,804 --> 01:03:29,506 He crushed it. 1490 01:03:29,539 --> 01:03:31,775 And because of that, I'd like to show you 1491 01:03:31,808 --> 01:03:34,111 the fruits of your labor. 1492 01:03:34,144 --> 01:03:37,982 Because he was so good, I was able to hire... 1493 01:03:38,015 --> 01:03:39,783 the "A" team. 1494 01:03:39,816 --> 01:03:41,651 -Mm-hmm. -GARY: I'm just kidding. 1495 01:03:41,685 --> 01:03:43,153 They're not the "A" team. 1496 01:03:43,187 --> 01:03:44,721 Not that you aren't great. 1497 01:03:44,754 --> 01:03:47,391 -But this... -(keypad beeping) 1498 01:03:47,424 --> 01:03:48,792 is the real "A" team. 1499 01:03:48,825 --> 01:03:50,660 TINA: I get it, but what are the numbers? 1500 01:03:50,694 --> 01:03:52,462 (Diana gasps) 1501 01:03:52,496 --> 01:03:54,264 (quiet, indistinct chatter) 1502 01:03:56,066 --> 01:03:57,501 -You know Kurt Lehman, polling and modeling. -Oh, my God. 1503 01:03:57,534 --> 01:03:58,802 -Yes. Hi. -KURT: Hi. 1504 01:03:58,835 --> 01:04:00,704 -He gives us a window into the electorate. -Hi. -Hey. 1505 01:04:00,737 --> 01:04:02,372 -How are you? -GARY: Best in the business. 1506 01:04:02,406 --> 01:04:04,008 When everyone was predicting Hillary 1507 01:04:04,041 --> 01:04:06,911 in a landslide over Trump, Kurt was the one guy 1508 01:04:06,944 --> 01:04:09,813 who had her just barely beating him. 1509 01:04:09,846 --> 01:04:13,050 My models just picked up the trend lines, so... (chuckles) 1510 01:04:13,083 --> 01:04:15,052 If the election had taken place a month or two later... 1511 01:04:15,085 --> 01:04:17,922 My numbers would've been 100% on the money. 1512 01:04:17,955 --> 01:04:19,723 -Mm-hmm. -DIANA: Wow. 1513 01:04:19,756 --> 01:04:21,225 Impressive. 1514 01:04:21,258 --> 01:04:22,526 Well... 1515 01:04:22,559 --> 01:04:24,161 Well, he was the least wrong. 1516 01:04:24,194 --> 01:04:25,930 Tina Kuryev, analytics. 1517 01:04:25,963 --> 01:04:27,597 She gives us a window into the voters. 1518 01:04:27,631 --> 01:04:29,033 Good to meet you, sir. 1519 01:04:29,066 --> 01:04:31,768 Oh. I thought, uh, polling did that. 1520 01:04:31,801 --> 01:04:34,371 -It does. -Well, he tells you how he thinks they feel. 1521 01:04:34,404 --> 01:04:36,240 I tell you how they really feel. 1522 01:04:38,242 --> 01:04:41,078 -People are liars. -Here we go. 1523 01:04:41,111 --> 01:04:44,248 He can tell you how often people say they go to church. 1524 01:04:44,281 --> 01:04:45,882 She can tell you if they actually go. 1525 01:04:45,916 --> 01:04:47,918 I can tell you if God is in their hearts. 1526 01:04:47,952 --> 01:04:49,419 -Oh, my God. -Tina's in online analytics. 1527 01:04:49,453 --> 01:04:50,921 KURT: Hey, can I just say-- 1528 01:04:50,955 --> 01:04:53,390 we take deception into account, too, okay? (chuckles) 1529 01:04:53,423 --> 01:04:55,525 Yeah, polling is an art form, but, 1530 01:04:55,559 --> 01:04:57,928 you know, there's plenty of science to back it up. 1531 01:04:57,962 --> 01:05:00,197 Says the guy still calling landlines. 1532 01:05:00,230 --> 01:05:02,699 People tell computers the truth, right? 1533 01:05:02,732 --> 01:05:04,868 Their desires, their prejudices. 1534 01:05:04,901 --> 01:05:06,736 Every search, every transaction-- 1535 01:05:06,770 --> 01:05:08,738 it's an unguarded private moment. 1536 01:05:08,772 --> 01:05:11,976 So there's no, uh, margin of error, you know? 1537 01:05:12,009 --> 01:05:14,878 The digital footprint is your true self. 1538 01:05:14,911 --> 01:05:16,947 But, surely, people are more complicated 1539 01:05:16,981 --> 01:05:19,083 than their online transactions. 1540 01:05:19,116 --> 01:05:21,151 Well, says the woman with three cats 1541 01:05:21,185 --> 01:05:23,753 and an intense search history of the herpes virus. 1542 01:05:29,960 --> 01:05:31,895 One of the cats... 1543 01:05:31,928 --> 01:05:33,763 Is this legal? 1544 01:05:33,797 --> 01:05:36,433 Law enforcement or in the eyes of God? 1545 01:05:39,269 --> 01:05:41,938 NEWSWOMAN: With two weeks to go until election day, 1546 01:05:41,972 --> 01:05:44,141 we have an update on the Deerlaken mayoral race. 1547 01:05:44,174 --> 01:05:46,143 The race between Colonel Jack Hastings 1548 01:05:46,176 --> 01:05:49,579 and incumbent Mayor Billy Braun is tightening. 1549 01:05:49,613 --> 01:05:51,481 Who here has been chosen as 527s? 1550 01:05:51,515 --> 01:05:52,616 -Raise your hands, please. -(murmuring) 1551 01:05:52,649 --> 01:05:55,519 One, two, three, four. Good. 1552 01:05:55,552 --> 01:05:57,621 You all run super PACs now. 1553 01:05:57,654 --> 01:06:01,825 You are no longer associated with this campaign. 1554 01:06:01,858 --> 01:06:06,630 And as such, it is time to move to your super PAC location, 1555 01:06:06,663 --> 01:06:09,866 which is all the way at the back of the room, 1556 01:06:09,899 --> 01:06:13,870 far, far away from the activity of the campaign. 1557 01:06:14,971 --> 01:06:16,506 Right now? 1558 01:06:16,540 --> 01:06:19,176 I am not at liberty to say. 1559 01:06:19,209 --> 01:06:22,712 The campaign cannot coordinate with the super PAC. 1560 01:06:22,746 --> 01:06:24,148 So... 1561 01:06:24,181 --> 01:06:26,383 (whispers): After the meeting. 1562 01:06:26,416 --> 01:06:28,452 * You always won 1563 01:06:28,485 --> 01:06:30,887 * Every time you placed a bet... * 1564 01:06:34,091 --> 01:06:35,859 Get me that fucking sat truck! 1565 01:06:35,892 --> 01:06:38,562 Get it now! They're gonna out-communicate us! 1566 01:06:38,595 --> 01:06:41,198 Here, we have an unusual cluster of single women. 1567 01:06:41,231 --> 01:06:42,499 They're all gonna get pamphlets 1568 01:06:42,532 --> 01:06:44,134 saying that the mayor is gonna repeal 1569 01:06:44,168 --> 01:06:45,969 the health care payment for birth control. 1570 01:06:46,002 --> 01:06:47,071 JACK: What's this? 1571 01:06:47,104 --> 01:06:49,639 It's eight SMAWs. 1572 01:06:49,673 --> 01:06:51,841 Stay-at-home middle-aged women. 1573 01:06:51,875 --> 01:06:54,144 -29 to 54. -DIANA: 29? 1574 01:06:54,178 --> 01:06:56,046 That's middle-aged? 1575 01:06:56,080 --> 01:06:58,082 Yes. Yes, it is. 1576 01:06:58,115 --> 01:06:59,883 KURT: You got to do it on the adjective. 1577 01:06:59,916 --> 01:07:01,518 Safe streets. It's not safe streets. 1578 01:07:01,551 --> 01:07:03,520 -Everybody wants safe streets! -Safe... No, no, no. 1579 01:07:03,553 --> 01:07:04,988 Okay, that's coming off a little angry. 1580 01:07:05,021 --> 01:07:07,257 GARY: Did you finish those donor calls? 1581 01:07:07,291 --> 01:07:08,858 JACK: Yeah, just about. 1582 01:07:08,892 --> 01:07:10,894 I just always had a notion that farmers had a... 1583 01:07:10,927 --> 01:07:12,562 I'm sorry, are... are you clicking your heels? 1584 01:07:12,596 --> 01:07:13,997 Are you Dorothy? 1585 01:07:14,030 --> 01:07:15,665 Is there no place like home? 1586 01:07:15,699 --> 01:07:18,034 * Turning on the charm 1587 01:07:18,068 --> 01:07:21,004 -* Long enough to get you by -* Still the same... 1588 01:07:21,037 --> 01:07:24,274 JACK: America's greatness and God's grace... 1589 01:07:24,308 --> 01:07:27,844 I'd go to battle for those two any day. 1590 01:07:27,877 --> 01:07:29,379 ANNOUNCER: Paid for by Wisconsinites 1591 01:07:29,413 --> 01:07:30,880 for Religiously Based Compassionate Empathy. 1592 01:07:35,719 --> 01:07:36,920 -(Jack sighs) -Did you just sigh? 1593 01:07:36,953 --> 01:07:38,355 -Did he just sigh? -Oh, I can't... 1594 01:07:38,388 --> 01:07:39,756 Don't even get me started with sighing. 1595 01:07:39,789 --> 01:07:41,891 TINA: Now, here, this cluster in blue 1596 01:07:41,925 --> 01:07:43,693 have children, so they're gonna get 1597 01:07:43,727 --> 01:07:46,062 pamphlets saying "save our schools" 1598 01:07:46,096 --> 01:07:49,366 because it's 1950 and everybody loves pamphlets. 1599 01:07:49,399 --> 01:07:50,967 "Hi. My name is Jack. I'm exasperated." 1600 01:07:51,000 --> 01:07:52,269 (takes exaggerated deep breath) 1601 01:07:52,302 --> 01:07:54,471 Why don't we move on to the WoMAMs? 1602 01:07:54,504 --> 01:07:56,206 White middle-aged men. 1603 01:07:56,240 --> 01:07:57,607 (laughter) 1604 01:07:59,576 --> 01:08:03,947 * I had nothing left to say 1605 01:08:03,980 --> 01:08:05,949 * 'Cause you're still the same * 1606 01:08:05,982 --> 01:08:07,551 * Still the same 1607 01:08:07,584 --> 01:08:09,886 * Baby, baby, still the same 1608 01:08:09,919 --> 01:08:11,255 GARY: What's this? 1609 01:08:11,288 --> 01:08:12,656 KURT: Walt. 1610 01:08:12,689 --> 01:08:14,057 * You're still the same... 1611 01:08:14,090 --> 01:08:15,725 Is that an acronym? 1612 01:08:15,759 --> 01:08:18,128 No, it is not. 1613 01:08:19,996 --> 01:08:24,368 Can I still bring baked goods to the super PAC location? 1614 01:08:25,602 --> 01:08:27,604 (indistinct whispering) 1615 01:08:31,841 --> 01:08:33,109 No. 1616 01:08:34,344 --> 01:08:36,613 (dramatic, cinematic music playing) 1617 01:08:50,527 --> 01:08:54,431 I'm Colonel Jack Hastings, and I approve this message. 1618 01:08:54,464 --> 01:08:56,099 ANNOUNCER: You want to come to Deerlaken, 1619 01:08:56,132 --> 01:08:57,867 you'll have to go through him. 1620 01:08:57,901 --> 01:09:00,470 (echoing boom) 1621 01:09:00,504 --> 01:09:02,839 Paid for by Powerful Progressives for Strength. 1622 01:09:02,872 --> 01:09:04,874 (mouthing) 1623 01:09:06,476 --> 01:09:08,044 -Thank you so much, sir. -You're welcome. 1624 01:09:08,077 --> 01:09:09,479 Thank you so much for your support. 1625 01:09:09,513 --> 01:09:11,248 -Thank you. -Thank you. 1626 01:09:13,683 --> 01:09:16,720 How the hell did she get the bayou billionaires involved? 1627 01:09:16,753 --> 01:09:18,188 You okay? Do you need some help? 1628 01:09:18,222 --> 01:09:20,023 -Just fine. -You're good? Okay, thank you. 1629 01:09:20,056 --> 01:09:21,691 She must have promised that they could have 1630 01:09:21,725 --> 01:09:23,427 the town smelted after the election. 1631 01:09:28,498 --> 01:09:30,334 I'm just very impressed with all this. 1632 01:09:30,367 --> 01:09:32,836 -You... you do the polling. -KURT: Uh-huh. In fact... 1633 01:09:32,869 --> 01:09:33,837 (heavy, metallic thumping) 1634 01:09:33,870 --> 01:09:35,472 GARY: There it is. 1635 01:09:35,505 --> 01:09:36,640 What is that? 1636 01:09:36,673 --> 01:09:38,408 No, who is that? Elton Chambers. 1637 01:09:38,442 --> 01:09:40,544 The Rocket Man? 1638 01:09:40,577 --> 01:09:42,412 The billionaire Rocket Man, yes. 1639 01:09:42,446 --> 01:09:44,548 Jesus Chr... I thought he was dead. 1640 01:09:44,581 --> 01:09:46,516 -Well, he is dead. -GARY: No, no, no. 1641 01:09:46,550 --> 01:09:48,585 A series of micro-strokes. It's all good. 1642 01:09:48,618 --> 01:09:50,754 (slow, heavy thumping) 1643 01:09:53,957 --> 01:09:55,859 (door creaks open) 1644 01:09:55,892 --> 01:09:58,762 -(mechanical whirring) -(heavy, metallic footsteps) 1645 01:10:06,970 --> 01:10:10,707 Sir Elton, thank you so, so much for coming. 1646 01:10:10,740 --> 01:10:13,743 Everyone, this is the great Sir Elton. 1647 01:10:15,312 --> 01:10:17,547 Let's get through the pleasantries. 1648 01:10:17,581 --> 01:10:20,350 This is Jack Hastings and his daughter Diana. 1649 01:10:20,384 --> 01:10:24,288 ELTON (robotic, melodic voice): Hello to you. 1650 01:10:24,321 --> 01:10:26,856 GARY: All right, well, let's get right to it, then. 1651 01:10:26,890 --> 01:10:32,095 ELTON (tune of "Hava Nagila"): Tell me, what is your position 1652 01:10:32,128 --> 01:10:35,532 concerning the settlement 1653 01:10:35,565 --> 01:10:40,637 of Kevyat Sharim? 1654 01:10:42,171 --> 01:10:44,240 Uh... 1655 01:10:44,274 --> 01:10:45,775 I'm not sure I... 1656 01:10:45,809 --> 01:10:46,976 Israel. 1657 01:10:47,010 --> 01:10:50,046 Jack believes that sovereign nations 1658 01:10:50,079 --> 01:10:51,615 are entitled to self-defense. 1659 01:10:51,648 --> 01:10:52,882 ELTON: Strongly? 1660 01:10:52,916 --> 01:10:54,183 Strongly believes, yes. 1661 01:10:55,184 --> 01:10:57,321 (mechanical whirring) 1662 01:10:57,354 --> 01:10:59,689 (Elton gasps, stammers) 1663 01:11:01,257 --> 01:11:02,992 (normal voice): An election is a moral horror, 1664 01:11:03,026 --> 01:11:05,462 as bad as a battle but without the blood. 1665 01:11:05,495 --> 01:11:07,797 That's George Bernard Shaw. 1666 01:11:09,333 --> 01:11:10,767 (robotic, melodic voice): Get the car. 1667 01:11:10,800 --> 01:11:12,168 (whispers): I think that went well. 1668 01:11:12,201 --> 01:11:13,803 KURT: Seemed like a really nice guy. 1669 01:11:13,837 --> 01:11:15,439 Actually looked pretty good, right? 1670 01:11:15,472 --> 01:11:16,806 -Yeah. -Surprisingly robust. 1671 01:11:16,840 --> 01:11:18,842 Elton Chambers is in. 1672 01:11:18,875 --> 01:11:21,010 -Oh. -TINA: Ah. All right. 1673 01:11:21,044 --> 01:11:22,579 Making it rain. 1674 01:11:22,612 --> 01:11:25,315 He actually has a machine that makes it rain. 1675 01:11:35,359 --> 01:11:38,428 GARY: This margin of error is really shrinking. 1676 01:11:38,462 --> 01:11:39,596 Excuse me. Gary... 1677 01:11:39,629 --> 01:11:40,830 -Mr. Zimmer. -Mm-mm. 1678 01:11:40,864 --> 01:11:43,299 -Becca, super PAC. -Uh... 1679 01:11:43,333 --> 01:11:45,502 Okay. 1680 01:11:45,535 --> 01:11:47,437 -Uh, big guy? -GARY: Hmm? 1681 01:11:47,471 --> 01:11:49,473 We got a problem. 1682 01:11:58,482 --> 01:12:00,016 (keypad beeps) 1683 01:12:00,049 --> 01:12:02,018 Hey, everybody. 1684 01:12:02,051 --> 01:12:03,987 Hard at work, I see. That's good. 1685 01:12:04,020 --> 01:12:06,222 That's good. I had a couple of questions. 1686 01:12:06,255 --> 01:12:07,957 The first is: What the fuck?! 1687 01:12:07,991 --> 01:12:10,159 What tactical genius in here 1688 01:12:10,193 --> 01:12:12,396 thought it might be a good idea to carpet-bomb 1689 01:12:12,429 --> 01:12:15,231 a particular neighborhood in this town 1690 01:12:15,264 --> 01:12:18,968 with flyers suggesting that Colonel Jack Hastings 1691 01:12:19,002 --> 01:12:20,637 -would make sure... -(sighs): Fuck. 1692 01:12:20,670 --> 01:12:24,173 -...that contraception is paid for by the government? 1693 01:12:27,877 --> 01:12:29,513 Uh, I did. 1694 01:12:29,546 --> 01:12:31,848 -KURT (shuddering): Oh. -TINA: The data showed an 1695 01:12:31,881 --> 01:12:33,917 unusually concentrated grouping of single women in the area 1696 01:12:33,950 --> 01:12:36,085 who are deeply interested in reproductive rights. 1697 01:12:36,119 --> 01:12:37,353 And you know why that is? 1698 01:12:37,387 --> 01:12:38,822 (chuckling): Well, "why" is not really... 1699 01:12:38,855 --> 01:12:40,657 Because this "concentrated grouping of single women," 1700 01:12:40,690 --> 01:12:42,692 as you put it, is a convent. 1701 01:12:43,793 --> 01:12:45,595 They are nuns. 1702 01:12:45,629 --> 01:12:48,665 Which is how many of them are going to end up voting for us. 1703 01:12:48,698 --> 01:12:51,100 "Nuns" of them. Zero. 1704 01:12:51,134 --> 01:12:53,336 -(laughs) -It's not funny. 1705 01:12:53,369 --> 01:12:55,371 I'm not laughing. 1706 01:12:57,707 --> 01:12:59,943 (sighs) Fuck. 1707 01:12:59,976 --> 01:13:02,712 Well, I think we can appreciate the humor 1708 01:13:02,746 --> 01:13:05,114 in this very honest mistake. 1709 01:13:05,148 --> 01:13:06,950 And the fact that the nuns 1710 01:13:06,983 --> 01:13:08,452 are generously turning the other cheek 1711 01:13:08,485 --> 01:13:09,853 makes it a nonstory, but... 1712 01:13:09,886 --> 01:13:11,254 FAITH: Brooke, Brooke, if I may. 1713 01:13:11,287 --> 01:13:13,389 Uh, this is really just another perfect example 1714 01:13:13,423 --> 01:13:16,526 of the D.C. elite coming into a place they don't understand 1715 01:13:16,560 --> 01:13:18,261 and trying to dictate how we should live. 1716 01:13:18,294 --> 01:13:20,597 The Democrat Party can't win. They're getting desperate. 1717 01:13:20,630 --> 01:13:22,699 They don't know us, they don't want to know us, 1718 01:13:22,732 --> 01:13:24,734 -and they look down on our values. -GARY: No, no. 1719 01:13:24,768 --> 01:13:26,636 That's "we." You're D.C. elite. 1720 01:13:26,670 --> 01:13:28,271 Oh, no, actually, I'm from here. 1721 01:13:28,304 --> 01:13:29,739 BROOKE: Faith, I didn't know that. 1722 01:13:29,773 --> 01:13:31,808 -You're from Wisconsin? -Mm-hmm. Yeah. 1723 01:13:31,841 --> 01:13:33,610 Well, no, "Deer-lake-en." I'm from "Deer-lake-en." 1724 01:13:33,643 --> 01:13:35,411 -What? Whoa. -BROOKE: Oh. Wow. 1725 01:13:35,445 --> 01:13:37,547 So this campaign has been a bit of a homecoming. 1726 01:13:37,581 --> 01:13:39,248 -It really is, Brooke. Thank you. -No, no. 1727 01:13:39,282 --> 01:13:41,150 No, no, that's a lie. That's a lie. 1728 01:13:41,184 --> 01:13:42,652 -No, it's... -You're lying. 1729 01:13:42,686 --> 01:13:43,887 -It's-it's the truth. -She's ly... That's... 1730 01:13:43,920 --> 01:13:45,455 -I'm from here. -No, that... What are you even doing? 1731 01:13:45,489 --> 01:13:46,656 -(laughing): Okay. -I-I am from here. 1732 01:13:46,690 --> 01:13:47,991 -You're not from here! -Well, as always, a great 1733 01:13:48,024 --> 01:13:49,392 -and spirited discussion. -Thank you so much. 1734 01:13:49,425 --> 01:13:50,760 -No, hey! No, no, no, no. She's lying. -Thank you both. 1735 01:13:50,794 --> 01:13:52,095 -Unfortunately, we have to leave it there. -She's a li... 1736 01:13:52,128 --> 01:13:55,064 Coming up, we'll look at more of this year's hot races 1737 01:13:55,098 --> 01:13:57,834 and how those will affect races four years from now. 1738 01:13:57,867 --> 01:13:59,969 Why do you even lie about something like that? 1739 01:14:00,003 --> 01:14:03,439 (sighs) Honestly, I, uh... I don't even know. 1740 01:14:03,473 --> 01:14:05,141 (mocking): "I... I don't even know." 1741 01:14:05,174 --> 01:14:06,976 Wh-What do you mean, you don't know? 1742 01:14:07,010 --> 01:14:10,013 You can't just lie about something like that. 1743 01:14:10,046 --> 01:14:12,315 You just walk away? 1744 01:14:12,348 --> 01:14:15,752 You just told America that you're from "Deer-lake-en"? 1745 01:14:15,785 --> 01:14:18,421 That's not even how you pronounce it! 1746 01:14:18,454 --> 01:14:21,625 "Deer-lake-en," my ass. 1747 01:14:21,658 --> 01:14:23,760 Oh, my God. 1748 01:14:23,793 --> 01:14:26,362 She's a fucking genius! 1749 01:14:26,395 --> 01:14:28,097 Oh! 1750 01:14:28,131 --> 01:14:30,433 Oh, my God, I hate her so much. 1751 01:14:30,466 --> 01:14:32,035 I hate her. I hate her. 1752 01:14:32,068 --> 01:14:34,704 She said it, and now it's the truth. 1753 01:14:34,738 --> 01:14:37,641 (sighing): Fuck me. 1754 01:14:37,674 --> 01:14:39,208 -(indistinct chatter) -(music playing) 1755 01:14:39,242 --> 01:14:40,710 WAITRESS: Another round, guys? 1756 01:14:40,744 --> 01:14:42,178 Okay. 1757 01:14:43,980 --> 01:14:46,282 FAITH: Goddamn it. You're killing me. 1758 01:14:46,315 --> 01:14:47,617 KURT: That's good. Yeah. 1759 01:14:47,651 --> 01:14:50,019 (indistinct chatter continues) 1760 01:14:50,053 --> 01:14:51,655 Come on. Let's get out of here. 1761 01:14:51,688 --> 01:14:52,856 GARY: Hey, Mikes! 1762 01:14:52,889 --> 01:14:54,891 How you doing, guys? 1763 01:14:57,827 --> 01:14:59,228 Hello, everybody. 1764 01:14:59,262 --> 01:15:01,330 -KURT: Hey, big guy. -DIANA: Hey, Gary. Um... 1765 01:15:01,364 --> 01:15:03,700 -Burger and a Bud. -Oh, thank you very much. 1766 01:15:03,733 --> 01:15:05,702 You know, that looks great. Uh, can I have one of those? 1767 01:15:05,735 --> 01:15:07,136 No. 1768 01:15:07,170 --> 01:15:09,338 GARY: What you guys doing? Looking at some ads? 1769 01:15:09,372 --> 01:15:11,040 DIANA: Yeah, they're just taking me through it. 1770 01:15:11,074 --> 01:15:12,976 Bio. Very nice. 1771 01:15:13,009 --> 01:15:15,144 Education. That's important. 1772 01:15:15,178 --> 01:15:17,647 Hey, are we sure that we want to be doing this here 1773 01:15:17,681 --> 01:15:19,749 and not in Faith's room or the mayor's office? 1774 01:15:19,783 --> 01:15:22,819 Because right now I'm not sure that our opposition knows 1775 01:15:22,852 --> 01:15:24,721 exactly what we're about to do. 1776 01:15:24,754 --> 01:15:26,590 And that seems unfair. No, no, no, no, no. 1777 01:15:26,623 --> 01:15:28,157 Don't put 'em away on my account. 1778 01:15:28,191 --> 01:15:30,526 Why don't we got one of those overhead projectors 1779 01:15:30,560 --> 01:15:31,928 -that you have at a bowling alley? -Stop. 1780 01:15:31,961 --> 01:15:33,763 -Kurt, you don't have to leave. -So everybody here can see it. 1781 01:15:33,797 --> 01:15:34,764 Wouldn't that be good? 1782 01:15:34,798 --> 01:15:36,065 Kurt, come on. 1783 01:15:37,867 --> 01:15:39,035 Mmm! 1784 01:15:39,068 --> 01:15:40,570 Why do you talk to them like that? 1785 01:15:40,604 --> 01:15:41,771 Like what? 1786 01:15:41,805 --> 01:15:43,039 Like that. Like they're idiots. 1787 01:15:43,072 --> 01:15:44,741 (inhales sharply) Well... 1788 01:15:44,774 --> 01:15:45,875 (chuckles) 1789 01:15:45,909 --> 01:15:47,911 Listen. 1790 01:15:47,944 --> 01:15:49,278 (sighs) 1791 01:15:49,312 --> 01:15:51,247 I saw some polls. 1792 01:15:51,280 --> 01:15:52,882 If we don't figure this out soon, 1793 01:15:52,916 --> 01:15:54,517 there's no way we're gonna beat her. 1794 01:15:54,550 --> 01:15:57,186 -Our demographics are so... -"Her"? 1795 01:15:57,220 --> 01:16:00,123 -Who? -Her. 1796 01:16:00,156 --> 01:16:02,692 DIANA: I mean, you said, if we don't figure it out soon, 1797 01:16:02,726 --> 01:16:04,460 we're not gonna be able to beat her. 1798 01:16:04,493 --> 01:16:06,429 We're not gonna beat her candidate, Braun. 1799 01:16:06,462 --> 01:16:07,797 Mayor Braun. 1800 01:16:07,831 --> 01:16:10,199 Herr... Herr Braun. 1801 01:16:10,233 --> 01:16:11,735 Herr, her. Same thing. 1802 01:16:11,768 --> 01:16:13,102 DIANA: Mm-hmm. 1803 01:16:13,136 --> 01:16:15,739 Look, Gary, I don't, um, really understand 1804 01:16:15,772 --> 01:16:17,440 how you guys do things in D.C., 1805 01:16:17,473 --> 01:16:19,108 but if you're gonna work for my father, 1806 01:16:19,142 --> 01:16:20,610 you need to treat people with respect. 1807 01:16:20,644 --> 01:16:22,378 -With. With. -What? 1808 01:16:22,411 --> 01:16:24,147 Work with your father, not for. 1809 01:16:24,180 --> 01:16:26,950 You said "for." It's a semantic thing, but... 1810 01:16:26,983 --> 01:16:29,819 it's... you know, it's an important distinction. 1811 01:16:33,923 --> 01:16:36,292 Just so you know, 1812 01:16:36,325 --> 01:16:38,461 they don't actually serve hamburgers and Budweiser here, 1813 01:16:38,494 --> 01:16:40,396 'cause it's a hofbrau house, so they would serve 1814 01:16:40,429 --> 01:16:41,965 German food and German beers. 1815 01:16:41,998 --> 01:16:43,466 They've been patronizing you. 1816 01:16:49,706 --> 01:16:53,142 Just so you know, I don't even like hamburgers or Budweiser, 1817 01:16:53,176 --> 01:16:54,678 so I've been patronizing them... 1818 01:16:54,711 --> 01:16:56,179 -the whole time. -Okay. Ah. 1819 01:16:56,212 --> 01:16:57,613 Did a little switcheroo. 1820 01:16:57,647 --> 01:17:00,449 Oh, and just so you know, congratulations. 1821 01:17:00,483 --> 01:17:02,618 Our campaign made the paper. 1822 01:17:05,121 --> 01:17:06,355 (sighs): Oh, God. 1823 01:17:09,558 --> 01:17:11,961 (takes deep breath) 1824 01:17:13,529 --> 01:17:15,631 She's so pretty. 1825 01:17:15,665 --> 01:17:18,167 I bet she smells like Pop-Tarts. 1826 01:17:22,706 --> 01:17:25,041 Is he still looking? (laughs) 1827 01:17:25,074 --> 01:17:26,542 NEWSWOMAN: Now, Colonel Jack Hastings. 1828 01:17:26,575 --> 01:17:28,144 -NEWSMAN: Mm-hmm. Absolutely. -Military man. 1829 01:17:28,177 --> 01:17:30,013 -From the heartland. -Yep. 1830 01:17:30,046 --> 01:17:31,547 -No greater place in America. -(chuckling) 1831 01:17:31,580 --> 01:17:32,982 -No, no. -Am I right? 1832 01:17:33,016 --> 01:17:36,152 -Nope. -He is now part of the loony left. 1833 01:17:36,185 --> 01:17:38,955 No, not just the loony left. He's not just a Democrat. 1834 01:17:38,988 --> 01:17:40,623 -No. -He has joined the... 1835 01:17:40,656 --> 01:17:42,558 -Squad. -Socialism. -Mm-hmm. 1836 01:17:42,591 --> 01:17:44,127 Socialism. Hmm. 1837 01:17:44,160 --> 01:17:46,162 Do you think it hurts our military 1838 01:17:46,195 --> 01:17:49,598 to have one of their own throw in with the Democrats? 1839 01:17:51,100 --> 01:17:54,337 I know that if I had served, 1840 01:17:54,370 --> 01:17:56,405 I wouldn't like it. 1841 01:17:56,439 --> 01:17:59,375 Mm. Yeah. 1842 01:17:59,408 --> 01:18:02,979 FAITH (from other room): Wow, that was a harsh segment. 1843 01:18:03,012 --> 01:18:04,981 -Cutting but fair. -(sighs) 1844 01:18:05,014 --> 01:18:07,984 It's like I wrote it myself last night and sent it to them 1845 01:18:08,017 --> 01:18:10,820 and they read it verbatim like a scene. 1846 01:18:10,854 --> 01:18:12,989 Go to bed. 1847 01:18:13,022 --> 01:18:14,190 GARY: What is this? 1848 01:18:14,223 --> 01:18:15,358 What am I looking at? 1849 01:18:15,391 --> 01:18:16,760 KURT: Those are the... 1850 01:18:16,793 --> 01:18:18,661 Why are we being outspent three-to-one? 1851 01:18:18,694 --> 01:18:20,163 And how do white women not realize 1852 01:18:20,196 --> 01:18:21,530 they're backing the wrong horse? 1853 01:18:21,564 --> 01:18:22,866 These numbers aren't solidified. 1854 01:18:22,899 --> 01:18:24,533 Yeah, well, you got to make it happen, 1855 01:18:24,567 --> 01:18:27,603 or you got to find me some more fucking Hispanics. 1856 01:18:27,636 --> 01:18:29,572 Where are my fucking Hispanics?! 1857 01:18:29,605 --> 01:18:33,409 -I need some more fucking Hispanics, Kurt! -(snapping) 1858 01:18:40,483 --> 01:18:42,551 Hey, everybody. 1859 01:18:42,585 --> 01:18:44,087 Listen. 1860 01:18:44,120 --> 01:18:45,889 I am profoundly disappointed 1861 01:18:45,922 --> 01:18:48,724 in the comments that I just made. 1862 01:18:48,758 --> 01:18:52,095 My words and/or actions 1863 01:18:52,128 --> 01:18:55,598 do not represent who I am as a person and... 1864 01:18:55,631 --> 01:18:57,733 -Teachable moment. -It is a teachable moment. 1865 01:18:57,767 --> 01:19:00,870 It's something I think we can all learn from. 1866 01:19:00,904 --> 01:19:02,238 And in that way, I feel like 1867 01:19:02,271 --> 01:19:03,773 -I have given you a gift. -(phone ringing) 1868 01:19:03,807 --> 01:19:05,775 -(quietly): You have my heart. -And from this moment on, 1869 01:19:05,809 --> 01:19:07,376 I vow to make this office 1870 01:19:07,410 --> 01:19:11,647 a color- and gender-neutral work environment. 1871 01:19:11,680 --> 01:19:13,783 -(phone continues ringing) -That is my... 1872 01:19:13,817 --> 01:19:16,085 -Are you gonna get that? -(phone clicks, ringing stops) 1873 01:19:16,119 --> 01:19:18,321 Ringing off the fucking hook. 1874 01:19:18,354 --> 01:19:19,923 TINA (over phone): A hundred percent. 1875 01:19:19,956 --> 01:19:21,424 GARY: What do you mean, you're sure? 1876 01:19:21,457 --> 01:19:22,959 TINA: I'm sure. 1877 01:19:22,992 --> 01:19:24,928 GARY: You're sure, or you're just pretty sure? 1878 01:19:24,961 --> 01:19:26,595 -TINA: 100% sure. -GARY: Okay. 1879 01:19:26,629 --> 01:19:29,933 Okay, Tina. Better not be another nun situation. 1880 01:19:29,966 --> 01:19:31,667 TINA: It's not. 1881 01:19:31,700 --> 01:19:33,469 GARY: Hey. Is your dad here? 1882 01:19:33,502 --> 01:19:35,071 Yeah. Dad! 1883 01:19:35,104 --> 01:19:37,540 -JACK: Yeah? -Come on in, Colonel. 1884 01:19:41,110 --> 01:19:44,447 So, um, we can't win. 1885 01:19:47,016 --> 01:19:51,454 The people in this town are pretty set in their ways. 1886 01:19:51,487 --> 01:19:53,156 And we lost the eight nuns. 1887 01:19:53,189 --> 01:19:54,457 That wasn't good. 1888 01:19:54,490 --> 01:19:57,560 So, we can't win. 1889 01:19:59,128 --> 01:20:03,166 Uh... y-you know, we appreciate all you done. 1890 01:20:03,199 --> 01:20:06,435 I mean, the campaign and, uh... 1891 01:20:06,469 --> 01:20:09,705 I'm just sorry we let you down, but... 1892 01:20:09,738 --> 01:20:13,176 well, all I can say is thank you. 1893 01:20:13,209 --> 01:20:15,544 Really, Gary, thank you for everything. 1894 01:20:15,578 --> 01:20:17,013 It was a hell of a ride. 1895 01:20:17,046 --> 01:20:20,049 -(both laughing) -GARY: Are you shitting me? 1896 01:20:20,083 --> 01:20:22,351 All I have to say is we can't win, 1897 01:20:22,385 --> 01:20:24,687 and you're-you're through, you're out. 1898 01:20:24,720 --> 01:20:26,489 -You said we can't win. -Unless. 1899 01:20:26,522 --> 01:20:28,624 We can't win unless... 1900 01:20:28,657 --> 01:20:30,226 You didn't let me finish. 1901 01:20:30,259 --> 01:20:33,863 We can't win unless it turns out that this town 1902 01:20:33,897 --> 01:20:36,499 isn't the Mayberry everybody thinks it is. 1903 01:20:36,532 --> 01:20:38,201 I just got a little piece of intel 1904 01:20:38,234 --> 01:20:39,869 that's kind of intriguing. 1905 01:20:39,903 --> 01:20:44,340 So, the mayor's brother Ziggy, he had an Oxy problem. 1906 01:20:44,373 --> 01:20:47,543 Well, he was a roofer and got hurt on the job. 1907 01:20:47,576 --> 01:20:49,312 Yes, well, what you might not know 1908 01:20:49,345 --> 01:20:52,415 is that the mayor pulled some strings, 1909 01:20:52,448 --> 01:20:55,351 kept him out of jail, got him into rehab. 1910 01:20:55,384 --> 01:20:57,153 That is abuse of power, nepotism. 1911 01:20:57,186 --> 01:20:59,555 -Probably some clerical shit in there. -(laughs): Come on. 1912 01:20:59,588 --> 01:21:01,190 Gary. 1913 01:21:01,224 --> 01:21:03,026 But we're the good guys, right? 1914 01:21:03,059 --> 01:21:05,361 Yeah, we're the good guys. 1915 01:21:05,394 --> 01:21:07,730 When they go low... 1916 01:21:07,763 --> 01:21:09,398 We go high. 1917 01:21:09,432 --> 01:21:12,035 Unless we also need to go low, apparently. (chuckles) 1918 01:21:12,068 --> 01:21:14,904 Only to keep those who would go lower out of power. 1919 01:21:14,938 --> 01:21:17,406 So, when they go low, we go higher, 1920 01:21:17,440 --> 01:21:19,542 incrementally, in relation to how low they went. 1921 01:21:19,575 --> 01:21:21,677 Regrettably, yes. 1922 01:21:21,710 --> 01:21:24,013 When they go low, we go almost as low, 1923 01:21:24,047 --> 01:21:25,681 but we feel worse doing it. 1924 01:21:25,714 --> 01:21:27,416 You think they thought twice about making your dad 1925 01:21:27,450 --> 01:21:29,785 look like a PTS nutcase? 1926 01:21:29,818 --> 01:21:31,220 And I'm going low because 1927 01:21:31,254 --> 01:21:33,056 I'm gonna tell the truth about the mayor? 1928 01:21:33,089 --> 01:21:35,124 His brother's fragile, Gary. 1929 01:21:35,158 --> 01:21:36,559 This town is fragile. 1930 01:21:36,592 --> 01:21:38,861 The whole area is fragile. Our democracy. 1931 01:21:38,894 --> 01:21:41,697 (scoffs) Stop. We're not doing it. 1932 01:21:41,730 --> 01:21:44,100 Okay? People are gonna get hurt. 1933 01:21:44,133 --> 01:21:45,935 I'm sorry-- I really am-- 1934 01:21:45,969 --> 01:21:49,072 but sometimes good people have to do shitty things 1935 01:21:49,105 --> 01:21:51,407 in service of the greater good. 1936 01:21:51,440 --> 01:21:53,109 Isn't that right, Colonel? 1937 01:21:59,582 --> 01:22:01,584 -(door opens) -DIANA: Hey. 1938 01:22:05,154 --> 01:22:06,322 Hey. 1939 01:22:06,355 --> 01:22:08,124 Yeah? 1940 01:22:08,157 --> 01:22:10,193 -Gary, stop. -(Gary sighs) 1941 01:22:11,627 --> 01:22:13,496 (scoffs): What? 1942 01:22:13,529 --> 01:22:16,065 Is this politics? 1943 01:22:16,099 --> 01:22:18,301 It's not politics anymore, Diana. 1944 01:22:18,334 --> 01:22:20,303 It's... it's math. 1945 01:22:20,336 --> 01:22:21,770 That's what an election is. 1946 01:22:21,804 --> 01:22:23,106 It's just math. 1947 01:22:23,139 --> 01:22:25,808 We need what they get plus one. 1948 01:22:25,841 --> 01:22:27,510 That's all. 1949 01:22:27,543 --> 01:22:29,478 And if I can't get that 1950 01:22:29,512 --> 01:22:31,614 by getting more people to vote for your dad, 1951 01:22:31,647 --> 01:22:35,351 then I have to get fewer people to vote for Braun. 1952 01:22:35,384 --> 01:22:36,819 (Gary sighing softly) 1953 01:22:47,896 --> 01:22:51,467 (vehicle unlocks, door opens) 1954 01:22:51,500 --> 01:22:53,836 -(door closes) -(knocking) 1955 01:22:55,338 --> 01:22:57,340 (footsteps approaching) 1956 01:23:00,876 --> 01:23:02,911 (sighs) Hi. 1957 01:23:04,313 --> 01:23:06,849 -Come on in. -Thank you. 1958 01:23:06,882 --> 01:23:08,517 I'm so sorry. 1959 01:23:11,520 --> 01:23:14,557 I... I'm pulling the plug. 1960 01:23:14,590 --> 01:23:17,126 -Hey, hey. -I mean, we have the money we need. 1961 01:23:17,160 --> 01:23:18,961 We have more than we would need. 1962 01:23:18,994 --> 01:23:21,897 And this would... destroy your brother. 1963 01:23:23,099 --> 01:23:26,335 -And I'm just so sorry. -Hey. 1964 01:23:27,703 --> 01:23:30,906 You have nothing to be sorry for. 1965 01:23:32,007 --> 01:23:34,810 You saved us, Diana. 1966 01:23:34,843 --> 01:23:37,646 -Mm-hmm. -This place was done. 1967 01:23:37,680 --> 01:23:41,084 Just another town in the middle of nowhere, going nowhere. 1968 01:23:41,117 --> 01:23:45,354 And everyone agreed-- yours was the best idea we had. 1969 01:23:45,388 --> 01:23:48,157 Unless you want to go back to the two Mikes' idea of... 1970 01:23:48,191 --> 01:23:50,426 (chuckling): ostrich meat farms. 1971 01:23:51,794 --> 01:23:54,363 Diana, you moving back here, 1972 01:23:54,397 --> 01:23:56,365 caring so much... 1973 01:23:56,399 --> 01:23:58,867 I mean, this whole thing... 1974 01:23:58,901 --> 01:24:00,403 (Braun sighs) 1975 01:24:00,436 --> 01:24:04,840 Well, I just know how proud of you your dad is 1976 01:24:04,873 --> 01:24:07,110 and how proud your mom would be. 1977 01:24:09,145 --> 01:24:13,616 And how grateful every single one of us are 1978 01:24:13,649 --> 01:24:16,452 for what you've done and everything you've given. 1979 01:24:18,221 --> 01:24:20,223 It's working. 1980 01:24:25,394 --> 01:24:27,396 (sighs): Okay. 1981 01:24:31,600 --> 01:24:33,802 What do we do about Gary? 1982 01:24:34,837 --> 01:24:38,040 Whatever Gary thinks he's got, 1983 01:24:38,073 --> 01:24:40,343 why don't we just give him something better? 1984 01:24:47,950 --> 01:24:49,585 (sighs) 1985 01:24:49,618 --> 01:24:51,620 (footsteps in hallway) 1986 01:25:04,367 --> 01:25:05,901 Hmm. 1987 01:25:05,934 --> 01:25:07,670 GARY: No, forget the rehab thing. 1988 01:25:07,703 --> 01:25:09,972 This is bigger. Obviously, you can't use my name, so just-- 1989 01:25:10,005 --> 01:25:12,175 "Senior official with inside knowledge 1990 01:25:12,208 --> 01:25:13,742 of campaign strategy." 1991 01:25:13,776 --> 01:25:15,311 Yes, you are welcome. 1992 01:25:15,344 --> 01:25:16,612 KURT: Tell me they're running it. 1993 01:25:16,645 --> 01:25:18,147 -They are running it. -Oh, yeah, baby! 1994 01:25:18,181 --> 01:25:20,015 -Shit's gonna hit the fan. -Oh, it feels good. 1995 01:25:20,048 --> 01:25:22,084 Now, the word of the day is "disappointed." 1996 01:25:22,117 --> 01:25:24,587 We are not mad at the mayor. We are not shocked. 1997 01:25:24,620 --> 01:25:26,489 -We're just disappointed. -Yeah, I am disappointed. 1998 01:25:26,522 --> 01:25:28,424 -I'm disappointed, too. -I mean, it's disappointing. 1999 01:25:28,457 --> 01:25:30,626 -It is. You know what, he's the mayor. -He betrayed us. 2000 01:25:30,659 --> 01:25:32,261 GARY: He betrayed us, and it's disappointing. 2001 01:25:32,295 --> 01:25:33,862 -KURT: I'm hurt. -But I'm not mad. 2002 01:25:33,896 --> 01:25:35,998 -KURT: No, I'm just disappointed. -Me, too. 2003 01:25:36,031 --> 01:25:37,466 Tonight, we have this picture 2004 01:25:37,500 --> 01:25:39,034 of the alleged ten-year-old love child 2005 01:25:39,067 --> 01:25:41,304 of the Wisconsin mayor and the girl's mother. 2006 01:25:41,337 --> 01:25:43,839 We've obscured the child's face to protect her identity 2007 01:25:43,872 --> 01:25:45,140 but left enough clues 2008 01:25:45,174 --> 01:25:47,343 so that you can probably figure it out. 2009 01:25:47,376 --> 01:25:49,378 NEWSWOMAN: To discuss this important, late-breaking story, 2010 01:25:49,412 --> 01:25:51,280 we go to our panel with a feature 2011 01:25:51,314 --> 01:25:55,451 you'll only see here on CNN: the Duodecabox. 2012 01:25:55,484 --> 01:25:58,521 What do you think, Phil, Diane, Liz, Carl, 2013 01:25:58,554 --> 01:26:00,823 Barbara and... let's say Craig? 2014 01:26:00,856 --> 01:26:02,891 (all talking at once) 2015 01:26:05,861 --> 01:26:07,763 (Faith grunts angrily) 2016 01:26:10,733 --> 01:26:12,568 Kaylee? 2017 01:26:12,601 --> 01:26:14,002 -Kaylee. -Y-Yeah. 2018 01:26:14,036 --> 01:26:15,838 -Can you clean this up, please? -Oh, sure. 2019 01:26:15,871 --> 01:26:18,040 It was an accident with the sandwich. Thank you. 2020 01:26:31,287 --> 01:26:33,289 (indistinct chatter) 2021 01:26:42,130 --> 01:26:43,699 Hey, man. 2022 01:26:43,732 --> 01:26:45,601 Can I talk to you about white power? 2023 01:26:45,634 --> 01:26:47,636 (indistinct chatter) 2024 01:26:48,937 --> 01:26:50,439 MAN: Yeah, guns save lives. 2025 01:26:50,473 --> 01:26:51,807 -Thank you, sir. -Thank you. 2026 01:27:00,749 --> 01:27:02,385 It has been a hard-fought campaign, 2027 01:27:02,418 --> 01:27:04,553 but now it's in the hands of the voters. 2028 01:27:04,587 --> 01:27:06,922 And excuse me-- there's the Colonel right there. 2029 01:27:06,955 --> 01:27:08,223 -(Jack chuckling) -Colonel, come on in. 2030 01:27:08,257 --> 01:27:09,425 -Diana. -Hi. -Hi. Good morning. 2031 01:27:09,458 --> 01:27:10,559 Did you get some rest? 2032 01:27:10,593 --> 01:27:12,094 Yeah, we got a little bit. 2033 01:27:12,127 --> 01:27:13,596 -Excuse us, folks. -Good morning. Good morning. 2034 01:27:13,629 --> 01:27:15,864 -Excuse us. Excuse us. -(reporters clamoring) 2035 01:27:15,898 --> 01:27:17,266 BRAUN: There he is. 2036 01:27:17,300 --> 01:27:18,801 -Billy. Hey. -Colonel, good to see you, sir. 2037 01:27:18,834 --> 01:27:20,303 -How are you? How are you? -Good to see you. 2038 01:27:20,336 --> 01:27:21,570 How about a picture? 2039 01:27:21,604 --> 01:27:23,105 -All righty. -(chuckles) 2040 01:27:23,138 --> 01:27:24,373 FAITH: Come on. Come on. 2041 01:27:24,407 --> 01:27:25,641 -Let's go. Let's go. -Thank you. 2042 01:27:25,674 --> 01:27:27,543 Oh, make sure you get this guy's I.D. 2043 01:27:27,576 --> 01:27:29,044 -(laughter) -FAITH: Okay. 2044 01:27:29,077 --> 01:27:30,713 Billy, we're just talking to Fox. Just Fox. 2045 01:27:30,746 --> 01:27:33,382 -JACK: Hello. Good morning. -Good morning, Jack. 2046 01:27:33,416 --> 01:27:35,484 -Sign right there. -Yeah. All right. 2047 01:27:35,518 --> 01:27:36,952 Your dad is really something. 2048 01:27:36,985 --> 01:27:38,421 -(chuckling): Yeah. -He's done a great job. 2049 01:27:38,454 --> 01:27:39,788 -Yeah, yeah. -JACK: Go over here? 2050 01:27:39,822 --> 01:27:41,424 So have you. Thank you for everything. 2051 01:27:41,457 --> 01:27:42,758 -It's been... -My pleasure. 2052 01:27:42,791 --> 01:27:44,159 -So... -I was thinking, maybe later, 2053 01:27:44,192 --> 01:27:46,061 if you want to watch the returns come in? 2054 01:27:46,094 --> 01:27:48,196 Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, I'd love to. 2055 01:27:49,632 --> 01:27:51,934 Oh. Oh, shoot. 2056 01:27:51,967 --> 01:27:54,269 You know what? I have to head back to the farm, 2057 01:27:54,303 --> 01:27:55,738 -but I'll see you later, okay? -Okay. 2058 01:27:55,771 --> 01:27:57,440 Okay. 2059 01:27:57,473 --> 01:27:59,608 Diana, aren't you gonna vote? 2060 01:28:06,615 --> 01:28:08,183 GARY: Nothing? 2061 01:28:08,216 --> 01:28:10,285 -No early returns? -MAN: Nothing. 2062 01:28:10,319 --> 01:28:12,521 -What about exit polling? -No exit polling. 2063 01:28:12,555 --> 01:28:13,989 Well, is there another precinct? 2064 01:28:14,022 --> 01:28:15,157 No. 2065 01:28:15,190 --> 01:28:16,592 Well, where else can they vote? 2066 01:28:16,625 --> 01:28:17,860 Well, they can't vote anywhere else. 2067 01:28:17,893 --> 01:28:19,362 Was it all early voting? 2068 01:28:19,395 --> 01:28:21,296 No early voting, no. Nothing. 2069 01:28:21,330 --> 01:28:23,098 What do you mean, nobody has voted yet? 2070 01:28:23,131 --> 01:28:24,500 Uh, big guy. 2071 01:28:24,533 --> 01:28:25,868 You're gonna want to see this. 2072 01:28:25,901 --> 01:28:27,169 ...smear Mayor Braun with the falsehood 2073 01:28:27,202 --> 01:28:28,637 of an illegitimate child. 2074 01:28:28,671 --> 01:28:30,706 Which, as the report you just read stated, 2075 01:28:30,739 --> 01:28:32,841 is actually the man's dear niece. 2076 01:28:32,875 --> 01:28:35,110 Has the Hastings campaign apologized? 2077 01:28:35,143 --> 01:28:37,212 FAITH: Uh, no, they haven't, and it-it's too late for that. 2078 01:28:37,245 --> 01:28:38,981 -GARY: Oh, fuck! -Mayor Braun continues to 2079 01:28:39,014 --> 01:28:40,516 focus on the issues. 2080 01:28:40,549 --> 01:28:41,950 And quite frankly, Brooke, 2081 01:28:41,984 --> 01:28:43,852 the media owes the mayor an apology, as well, 2082 01:28:43,886 --> 01:28:46,389 for credulously covering a poorly sourced story. 2083 01:28:46,422 --> 01:28:48,223 Faith! Congratulations. Well done. 2084 01:28:48,256 --> 01:28:50,192 -What the fuck are you doing? -A new low. 2085 01:28:50,225 --> 01:28:51,860 Oh, yeah, like I leaked a cocked-up story 2086 01:28:51,894 --> 01:28:53,529 about a bastard child who happens to be 2087 01:28:53,562 --> 01:28:54,963 the man's fucking niece. 2088 01:28:54,997 --> 01:28:56,365 -Please, Gary. -You fed me that bullshit. 2089 01:28:56,399 --> 01:28:57,500 You know, go fuck yourself. 2090 01:28:57,533 --> 01:28:59,034 -You go fuck yourself. -You go fuck your... 2091 01:28:59,067 --> 01:29:00,302 BROOKE (chuckling): Okay, you two. 2092 01:29:00,335 --> 01:29:02,004 Unfortunately, we're gonna have to leave it there. 2093 01:29:02,037 --> 01:29:03,472 Thank you so much, Brooke. 2094 01:29:03,506 --> 01:29:04,707 -Thank you so much. -Thanks, Brooke. 2095 01:29:04,740 --> 01:29:05,808 -Thank you. -CAMERAMAN: We're clear. 2096 01:29:05,841 --> 01:29:08,043 Why would I leak this? Huh? 2097 01:29:08,076 --> 01:29:09,745 Oh, to just make me take the bait. 2098 01:29:09,778 --> 01:29:11,346 You didn't just want to win. 2099 01:29:11,380 --> 01:29:13,215 You wanted to castrate me, didn't you? 2100 01:29:13,248 --> 01:29:14,683 If I wanted to cut your dick off, 2101 01:29:14,717 --> 01:29:16,385 I would have done it in front of you 2102 01:29:16,419 --> 01:29:19,121 just to see the last look of horror in your eyes. 2103 01:29:20,122 --> 01:29:21,690 You're telling the truth. 2104 01:29:21,724 --> 01:29:23,325 No shit. 2105 01:29:23,358 --> 01:29:25,227 What the fuck is going on here? 2106 01:29:25,260 --> 01:29:26,529 BECCA: Evan? 2107 01:29:26,562 --> 01:29:27,896 What... 2108 01:29:27,930 --> 01:29:29,097 Evan. 2109 01:29:29,131 --> 01:29:30,232 (laughing): Evan, oh, my God. 2110 01:29:30,265 --> 01:29:31,600 -What's up, Becca? -How the hell are you? 2111 01:29:31,634 --> 01:29:33,168 -Hiya. Nice to see you. -Good to see you. 2112 01:29:33,201 --> 01:29:35,170 -How's everything? -Yeah, I mean, it's going. 2113 01:29:35,203 --> 01:29:37,272 What the hell? 2114 01:29:37,305 --> 01:29:39,207 How the hell does he know her? 2115 01:29:39,241 --> 01:29:40,776 Is he from here? 2116 01:29:40,809 --> 01:29:43,879 Gary, look at his shoes. I mean, really. 2117 01:29:43,912 --> 01:29:45,914 And we have Alan to thank for bringing this man 2118 01:29:45,948 --> 01:29:47,282 -to our attention. -It's Evan. 2119 01:29:47,315 --> 01:29:48,717 Did I happen to mention that... 2120 01:29:48,751 --> 01:29:51,086 Holy shit. 2121 01:29:51,119 --> 01:29:53,422 -What? What? -Come on! 2122 01:29:53,456 --> 01:29:57,893 ALDERMAN: So, with 100% of the vote counted, 2123 01:29:57,926 --> 01:30:01,396 the mayoral race is tied. 2124 01:30:01,430 --> 01:30:03,532 -(laughter) -One vote to one vote. 2125 01:30:03,566 --> 01:30:05,067 (cheering) 2126 01:30:05,100 --> 01:30:06,435 GARY: No. 2127 01:30:06,469 --> 01:30:08,771 Okay, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. 2128 01:30:08,804 --> 01:30:11,073 Wait, wait, wait. Hold on, hold on, hold on. 2129 01:30:11,106 --> 01:30:12,908 Hold on. I, uh... 2130 01:30:12,941 --> 01:30:15,277 I don't... I don't know exactly 2131 01:30:15,310 --> 01:30:18,280 what's going on here, but it's weird. 2132 01:30:18,313 --> 01:30:19,782 Could somebody please explain to me 2133 01:30:19,815 --> 01:30:21,484 -what's happening? -Well, we had an election. 2134 01:30:21,517 --> 01:30:23,719 -Yes, I know that. -And we gave it our best. 2135 01:30:23,752 --> 01:30:24,920 Just didn't work out. 2136 01:30:24,953 --> 01:30:26,455 Didn't work out, Jack? Come on. 2137 01:30:26,489 --> 01:30:28,624 Do you know how much money we invested in this? 2138 01:30:28,657 --> 01:30:30,559 Yeah, if the news media is to be believed, 2139 01:30:30,593 --> 01:30:34,497 more than $45 million was raised between the two of you. 2140 01:30:34,530 --> 01:30:36,098 -(laughing) -(cheering, applause) 2141 01:30:40,168 --> 01:30:42,605 (laughing) 2142 01:30:42,638 --> 01:30:45,674 Oh, shit. 2143 01:30:45,708 --> 01:30:47,743 Did you sucker me, Jack? 2144 01:30:47,776 --> 01:30:49,845 I guess. 2145 01:30:49,878 --> 01:30:51,914 GARY: You know what? Folks, sorry, 2146 01:30:51,947 --> 01:30:53,248 but I'm getting all that money back. 2147 01:30:53,281 --> 01:30:54,316 From where? 2148 01:30:54,349 --> 01:30:56,685 We put millions into those PACs. 2149 01:30:56,719 --> 01:30:58,621 Well, campaign finance law says 2150 01:30:58,654 --> 01:31:00,856 that money needn't be accounted for. 2151 01:31:00,889 --> 01:31:02,991 -(laughter, applause) -Oh, my God. 2152 01:31:03,025 --> 01:31:05,027 I got to give it to this place. 2153 01:31:06,061 --> 01:31:08,163 Hey, Alan. 2154 01:31:08,196 --> 01:31:09,331 Uh, it's Evan. 2155 01:31:09,364 --> 01:31:10,633 Shit weasel. 2156 01:31:10,666 --> 01:31:12,501 You're from this town, aren't you? 2157 01:31:12,535 --> 01:31:14,469 -Yeah. -You set this whole thing up. 2158 01:31:14,503 --> 01:31:16,038 You set me up, huh? 2159 01:31:16,071 --> 01:31:18,807 You are so fired, and you're going to jail! 2160 01:31:18,841 --> 01:31:20,142 Hey. Hey, hey, hey, hey. 2161 01:31:20,175 --> 01:31:21,777 It was me. I did it. 2162 01:31:21,810 --> 01:31:23,211 You? 2163 01:31:24,412 --> 01:31:25,948 (scoffs): Wh... 2164 01:31:25,981 --> 01:31:27,315 Why? 2165 01:31:27,349 --> 01:31:29,351 You know... 2166 01:31:29,384 --> 01:31:32,387 (laughing): it was just this weird idea I had 2167 01:31:32,420 --> 01:31:34,289 'cause the town needed money. 2168 01:31:34,322 --> 01:31:36,625 (chuckles) So you... 2169 01:31:36,659 --> 01:31:38,160 Uh, shot the video, 2170 01:31:38,193 --> 01:31:41,296 and then had Evan show it to you. 2171 01:31:41,329 --> 01:31:42,464 Uh, I... 2172 01:31:42,497 --> 01:31:45,133 We needed 750 grand over three years 2173 01:31:45,167 --> 01:31:46,969 to keep the school from closing down. 2174 01:31:47,002 --> 01:31:48,904 We blew way past that. 2175 01:31:48,937 --> 01:31:51,273 We got enough to buy back the base, redevelop it. 2176 01:31:52,875 --> 01:31:56,478 And the speech, the viral speech? 2177 01:31:56,511 --> 01:31:58,046 BRAUN: Can I get a motion to vote? 2178 01:31:58,080 --> 01:31:59,347 JACK: Actually, I'm here about that... 2179 01:31:59,381 --> 01:32:01,650 Fuck, what's the word? Resolution. 2180 01:32:01,684 --> 01:32:04,152 -I'll get it. -DIANA: Mike, do you want to help him and... 2181 01:32:04,186 --> 01:32:05,520 Yeah. 2182 01:32:05,554 --> 01:32:07,422 Just have it low enough. 2183 01:32:07,455 --> 01:32:09,057 BRAUN: Just leave enough room for that road sign in there. 2184 01:32:09,091 --> 01:32:10,693 -Uh, am I supposed to have these on? -DIANA: No glasses. 2185 01:32:10,726 --> 01:32:13,361 -I'm lost. -(laughter) 2186 01:32:13,395 --> 01:32:14,730 DIANA (sighs): Okay, Dad, that's good, 2187 01:32:14,763 --> 01:32:16,364 but you have to leave after. 2188 01:32:16,398 --> 01:32:17,399 All right, one more time. 2189 01:32:17,432 --> 01:32:19,768 I guess they weren't principles. 2190 01:32:21,203 --> 01:32:23,305 They're just hobbies. 2191 01:32:30,445 --> 01:32:32,514 DIANA: Holy shit, I think we got it. 2192 01:32:32,547 --> 01:32:34,583 -(laughter, cheering) -Oh, thank God. 2193 01:32:40,555 --> 01:32:43,158 (cheering, whooping) 2194 01:32:46,729 --> 01:32:48,864 That was really just baiting the hook. 2195 01:32:48,897 --> 01:32:51,399 You guys took it from there. I was never expecting her. 2196 01:32:51,433 --> 01:32:53,335 Oh, I had a fucking blast. 2197 01:32:54,837 --> 01:32:56,772 So you used me. 2198 01:32:58,774 --> 01:33:00,542 We used you? 2199 01:33:00,575 --> 01:33:03,545 You guys only show up here once every four years, 2200 01:33:03,578 --> 01:33:05,814 and only then 'cause it's a swing state. 2201 01:33:05,848 --> 01:33:08,416 And then, when it's over, you're gone. 2202 01:33:08,450 --> 01:33:09,818 But we're still here 2203 01:33:09,852 --> 01:33:12,254 with all the same problems we had before, 2204 01:33:12,287 --> 01:33:14,122 just waiting around for you to come back 2205 01:33:14,156 --> 01:33:16,859 and make the same empty promises as last time. 2206 01:33:17,926 --> 01:33:19,728 We used the system. 2207 01:33:19,762 --> 01:33:21,296 You make millions of dollars 2208 01:33:21,329 --> 01:33:22,965 funneling tens of millions of dollars 2209 01:33:22,998 --> 01:33:27,169 into this election economy. 2210 01:33:27,202 --> 01:33:30,272 All we did is take a cut. 2211 01:33:31,707 --> 01:33:33,608 Hmm. 2212 01:33:33,642 --> 01:33:35,010 Well... 2213 01:33:35,043 --> 01:33:37,646 I guess I just... 2214 01:33:37,680 --> 01:33:42,450 I thought that maybe you and I had a little something. 2215 01:33:42,484 --> 01:33:44,219 (chuckles softly) 2216 01:33:46,955 --> 01:33:49,825 (chuckling): I'm 28. I mean... 2217 01:33:49,858 --> 01:33:53,696 In what world would this be okay? 2218 01:33:55,964 --> 01:33:58,166 D.C. and L.A., parts of New York, 2219 01:33:58,200 --> 01:33:59,968 -Miami, maybe Dallas. -Mm. 2220 01:34:00,002 --> 01:34:02,037 (chuckles) 2221 01:34:02,070 --> 01:34:04,072 Look... 2222 01:34:05,173 --> 01:34:07,542 -It wasn't personal. -Mm. 2223 01:34:07,575 --> 01:34:09,177 It was math. 2224 01:34:09,211 --> 01:34:10,813 Math. 2225 01:34:12,047 --> 01:34:15,984 But this system, the way we elect people, 2226 01:34:16,018 --> 01:34:17,986 it's terrifying. 2227 01:34:18,020 --> 01:34:20,022 And exhausting. 2228 01:34:20,055 --> 01:34:23,225 And I think it's driving us all insane. 2229 01:34:26,528 --> 01:34:27,930 (chuckles) 2230 01:34:31,666 --> 01:34:33,401 BIG MIKE: You know what the real problem here 2231 01:34:33,435 --> 01:34:35,403 is that the media is completely complicit 2232 01:34:35,437 --> 01:34:37,172 -in this sort of thing. -Oh, I absolutely agree. 2233 01:34:37,205 --> 01:34:38,540 I mean, it's like Neil Postman said-- 2234 01:34:38,573 --> 01:34:39,975 in entertaining ourselves, 2235 01:34:40,008 --> 01:34:41,744 -news has become entertainment. -Yeah. Yeah. 2236 01:34:41,777 --> 01:34:43,712 -And when that happens... (sputters) it's gone. -Yeah. 2237 01:34:43,746 --> 01:34:45,347 I thought he knew. I mean, I would get so nervous 2238 01:34:45,380 --> 01:34:47,049 -every time he would come in. I would just, like... -Oh, no. 2239 01:34:47,082 --> 01:34:48,316 I couldn't get my coffee order right, 2240 01:34:48,350 --> 01:34:49,684 and I was giving him the wrong thing. 2241 01:34:49,718 --> 01:34:51,086 Oh, you were great. You were perfect. 2242 01:34:51,119 --> 01:34:52,554 Plus, you know, he has, you know, 2243 01:34:52,587 --> 01:34:54,222 dreamy eyes a little bit, so, I mean... 2244 01:34:54,256 --> 01:34:55,724 -Yeah. -He's-he's dashing. 2245 01:34:55,758 --> 01:34:57,926 He actually made me cry. 2246 01:34:57,960 --> 01:35:00,395 -He was, like, a shithead. -Yeah. 2247 01:35:00,428 --> 01:35:02,197 It metastasizes, so it-it's growing 2248 01:35:02,230 --> 01:35:03,565 -and-and whatever, so... -Yeah. 2249 01:35:03,598 --> 01:35:05,033 Well, it becomes... it's sort of like 2250 01:35:05,067 --> 01:35:06,368 any sort of autoimmune disorder. 2251 01:35:06,401 --> 01:35:07,702 -Yeah. -It's like... it's like lupus. 2252 01:35:07,736 --> 01:35:09,004 Know what I mean? 2253 01:35:09,037 --> 01:35:10,505 That's actually a really great metaphor. 2254 01:35:10,538 --> 01:35:12,374 -That's... that's like... -It's a simile. 2255 01:35:12,407 --> 01:35:13,842 -'Cause you said... -'Cause I said... 2256 01:35:13,876 --> 01:35:15,543 -I said it's "like." -You said it's "like." 2257 01:35:15,577 --> 01:35:16,912 Yeah, right. It's like lupus. 2258 01:35:18,313 --> 01:35:21,083 What a clusterfuck. 2259 01:35:21,116 --> 01:35:23,118 Amen. 2260 01:35:27,455 --> 01:35:29,024 DIANA: How we looking? 2261 01:35:29,057 --> 01:35:31,960 Well, they're saying these, uh, back acres 2262 01:35:31,994 --> 01:35:35,463 are gonna become the over-55 community health center. 2263 01:35:35,497 --> 01:35:37,265 -Uh-huh. -Madison has promised 2264 01:35:37,299 --> 01:35:38,934 a satellite campus for the front. 2265 01:35:38,967 --> 01:35:41,103 Okay. And you know that we have to redo 2266 01:35:41,136 --> 01:35:42,570 the septic on the back 50? 2267 01:35:42,604 --> 01:35:43,872 -We heard all about it. -Okay. 2268 01:35:43,906 --> 01:35:44,940 Hey, you. 2269 01:35:44,973 --> 01:35:46,408 Oh, hey, you. 2270 01:35:46,441 --> 01:35:49,111 -(chuckling) -She is something, huh? 2271 01:35:55,250 --> 01:35:57,252 DIANA: Are you listening to me? 2272 01:35:59,922 --> 01:36:01,924 (Faith's voice): Are you listening to me? 2273 01:36:03,325 --> 01:36:05,627 ANN: Are you listening to me? 2274 01:36:05,660 --> 01:36:06,995 Oh, Gary, honey. 2275 01:36:07,029 --> 01:36:08,563 (sighs) I'm just so excited. 2276 01:36:08,596 --> 01:36:10,632 I can't wait till we get the café tables in. 2277 01:36:10,665 --> 01:36:14,636 I think people are really gonna like those a lot, you know? 2278 01:36:14,669 --> 01:36:17,806 -And then we can put the umbrellas up. -Mm-hmm. 2279 01:36:17,840 --> 01:36:20,642 And people can just sit outside and have coffee and... 2280 01:36:20,675 --> 01:36:21,910 You know. 2281 01:36:21,944 --> 01:36:23,345 Are you... are you listening to me? 2282 01:36:23,378 --> 01:36:25,680 -Mm-hmm, mm... -Are you listening to me? 2283 01:36:25,713 --> 01:36:27,950 (Faith's voice): Hey, fuckup. Hey, fuckup. 2284 01:36:27,983 --> 01:36:30,752 -Are you listening to me? -GARY: Yes, yes, yes. 2285 01:36:30,785 --> 01:36:32,354 I'm listening to you. 2286 01:36:32,387 --> 01:36:34,957 You don't open a dossier for less than $2 million. 2287 01:36:34,990 --> 01:36:37,659 I know. That's what I'm talking to them about right now. 2288 01:36:37,692 --> 01:36:39,027 $2 million. 2289 01:36:39,061 --> 01:36:40,628 God, I hate you. 2290 01:36:40,662 --> 01:36:42,264 Ditto. 2291 01:36:44,299 --> 01:36:46,134 MAN (over phone): Gary? 2292 01:36:46,168 --> 01:36:48,470 Gary, you there? 2293 01:36:48,503 --> 01:36:50,538 Gary? 2294 01:36:50,572 --> 01:36:52,474 Yo, Gary. 2295 01:36:54,709 --> 01:36:55,978 Ah, cheers! 2296 01:36:56,011 --> 01:36:58,046 (excited chatter) 2297 01:37:20,368 --> 01:37:22,804 Colonel Jack Hastings, Deerlaken-- 2298 01:37:22,837 --> 01:37:24,873 did the media fall for a false narrative 2299 01:37:24,907 --> 01:37:27,142 just because it fit into our preconceived notion 2300 01:37:27,175 --> 01:37:29,711 of the divide of this country between red and blue 2301 01:37:29,744 --> 01:37:31,914 without actually checking the facts? 2302 01:37:31,947 --> 01:37:33,916 Were we irresponsible? 2303 01:37:33,949 --> 01:37:35,250 Well, we're the news. 2304 01:37:35,283 --> 01:37:37,920 Are we not supposed to cover the news? 2305 01:37:37,953 --> 01:37:39,922 I mean, these are newsworthy stories. 2306 01:37:39,955 --> 01:37:42,357 We're absolutely in the right to cover them. 2307 01:37:42,390 --> 01:37:46,061 It is literally our job to cover the news. 2308 01:37:46,094 --> 01:37:47,395 But isn't there a way to report the news 2309 01:37:47,429 --> 01:37:48,997 without so much speculation, 2310 01:37:49,031 --> 01:37:51,066 without a false sense of urgency 2311 01:37:51,099 --> 01:37:53,902 that causes us to breathlessly report "facts" 2312 01:37:53,936 --> 01:37:55,437 that maybe are not facts? 2313 01:37:55,470 --> 01:37:57,505 And are we framing these stories 2314 01:37:57,539 --> 01:37:59,574 on an artificial right-left axis 2315 01:37:59,607 --> 01:38:02,444 because that's how our pundit economy is set up? 2316 01:38:02,477 --> 01:38:04,446 Is there a better way to do this? 2317 01:38:09,985 --> 01:38:11,186 I'm just kidding. 2318 01:38:11,219 --> 01:38:12,787 Unfortunately, we have to leave it there. 2319 01:38:12,820 --> 01:38:14,957 -Thank you all for watching. -(laughing): She's... 2320 01:38:14,990 --> 01:38:16,791 MAN (laughing): She's good. 2321 01:38:16,824 --> 01:38:19,827 ("Mess Is Mine" by Vance Joy playing) 2322 01:38:22,797 --> 01:38:25,233 * Talking like we used to do 2323 01:38:26,801 --> 01:38:29,237 * It was always me and you 2324 01:38:30,638 --> 01:38:34,442 * Hold on, darling 2325 01:38:35,810 --> 01:38:38,080 * This body is yours 2326 01:38:38,113 --> 01:38:42,250 * This body is yours and mine 2327 01:38:43,651 --> 01:38:49,091 * Well, hold on, my darling 2328 01:38:49,124 --> 01:38:51,826 * This mess was yours 2329 01:38:53,261 --> 01:38:56,464 * Now your mess is mine 2330 01:39:02,204 --> 01:39:05,873 * Ah-ooh 2331 01:39:07,375 --> 01:39:10,278 * Your mess is mine 2332 01:39:10,312 --> 01:39:12,614 * See you in the marketplace... * 2333 01:39:12,647 --> 01:39:15,283 JON STEWART: Could something like this happen? 2334 01:39:15,317 --> 01:39:19,487 Legally, this could absolutely happen. 2335 01:39:19,521 --> 01:39:24,292 Somebody could create a political organization-- 2336 01:39:24,326 --> 01:39:28,296 so-called outside group, a super PAC, 527-- 2337 01:39:28,330 --> 01:39:31,166 raise an unlimited amount of money, 2338 01:39:31,199 --> 01:39:34,469 and then choose to give that money 2339 01:39:34,502 --> 01:39:37,339 to another organization, a charity, 2340 01:39:37,372 --> 01:39:40,342 and use it for public purposes. 2341 01:39:40,375 --> 01:39:43,678 And you don't need the donors' consent to do that. 2342 01:39:43,711 --> 01:39:45,813 The problem we have is that 2343 01:39:45,847 --> 01:39:49,351 none of the pieces of the system are working today. 2344 01:39:49,384 --> 01:39:52,854 You have regulators like the Federal Election Commission 2345 01:39:52,887 --> 01:39:54,722 that don't have a quorum, can't meet, 2346 01:39:54,756 --> 01:39:57,659 and when they do, they disagree on what the law is. 2347 01:39:57,692 --> 01:40:01,296 You have Congress deadlocked so it can't rewrite the laws. 2348 01:40:01,329 --> 01:40:03,331 You have the Supreme Court 2349 01:40:03,365 --> 01:40:07,001 that thinks that almost nothing is corrupt 2350 01:40:07,035 --> 01:40:11,473 and that citizens won't think the sale of access-- 2351 01:40:11,506 --> 01:40:13,875 what the court calls ingratiation 2352 01:40:13,908 --> 01:40:18,513 in return for giving money to candidates-- is a problem. 2353 01:40:18,546 --> 01:40:21,183 STEWART: So, to sum up, we currently have 2354 01:40:21,216 --> 01:40:22,884 hundreds of millions to billions of dollars 2355 01:40:22,917 --> 01:40:25,253 that is, uh, uh, untraceable, 2356 01:40:25,287 --> 01:40:27,922 uh, that can pour into groups 2357 01:40:27,955 --> 01:40:30,992 that are actually coordinating with-with candidates 2358 01:40:31,025 --> 01:40:33,895 who end up having to spend a good amount of their time 2359 01:40:33,928 --> 01:40:35,863 raising more and more money to keep up 2360 01:40:35,897 --> 01:40:38,733 with the arms race that is occurring. 2361 01:40:38,766 --> 01:40:42,870 Uh, the money continues to pour in and corrupt 2362 01:40:42,904 --> 01:40:45,407 not just where they spend their time 2363 01:40:45,440 --> 01:40:48,676 and how they spend their time but on the types of legislation 2364 01:40:48,710 --> 01:40:51,546 that they would even bring to the fore. 2365 01:40:51,579 --> 01:40:54,449 And the one group that would be charged 2366 01:40:54,482 --> 01:40:59,554 with regulating, uh, this spigot, uh, doesn't meet 2367 01:40:59,587 --> 01:41:01,889 'cause there aren't enough of them. 2368 01:41:01,923 --> 01:41:03,891 Yes. 2369 01:41:03,925 --> 01:41:07,061 (both laughing) 2370 01:41:07,095 --> 01:41:09,231 I realize that's not helpful to you, but... 2371 01:41:09,264 --> 01:41:11,133 It is very helpful. Thank you. 2372 01:41:11,166 --> 01:41:12,600 * Ooh 2373 01:41:12,634 --> 01:41:15,337 * Your mess is mine 2374 01:41:18,606 --> 01:41:20,942 * Your mess is mine. 2375 01:41:20,975 --> 01:41:22,577 (song ends) 2376 01:41:56,711 --> 01:41:58,713 (music ends)