21 Jordan, Numerous typos/spelling mistakes that hurt the flow of your paper. Also, if you re-read the paper, I don't think you address the "realization" theme you chose at the start. In each of your story choices, your paragraphs were much too brief, let alone long enough to prove or support your theme. 27 Kali, "you could make a difference in a war without carrying a rifle"... is that your theme? Cite your sources/quotes. Great job up to the third story, which was a bit short on explanation. 26 Tomoaki Clever theme choice and well cited. I thought this would focus on the depiction of South Vietnamese as stupid and unorganized, as the commentator in the AIM video clip was explaining. Instead of "dummy country", how about "not a country but a place on a map" or "the missing country" or "the idea of a country". Regardless, your first two paragraphs/stories do a fine job making this point. The last paragraph on bombing and the Gulf of Tonkin gets off track by talking about "bad policy" and massive bombing", not directly linked to your theme. You also write, "The US governmentÕs primary aim was to take control of Vietnam saying it is supporting South Vietnam." I don't believe this is accurate and none of materials I have provided in this class (textbooks and videos) support this statement. 25 Kristina, Your paper started fine, and I thought you chose a unique theme. But you should re-read your last paragraph. You come to a conclusion there supported only by the fact that Griffiths photos weren't published. That is a bit of a stretch. Also, your paragraphs were much too brief to prove or support your theme. Would "boosting morale, or the darker "propaganda" be more fitting, more accurate? 21 Jonathan, Awkward theme. "human beings" Then you claim "that no one likes to see go to waste". The North Vietnamese and VC had little problem asking their to make these sacrifices, even children. I'm not sure how your theme applied to the Porter Halyburton story. Your third paragraph attempts to make some connection between the Nguyen story and the Halyburton story, but it was not clear at all. In each of your story choices, your paragraphs were much too brief to prove or support your theme. 30 Amanda, Nice introduction. Deep. Your best paper yet. I'd have ended it after the line "a quality that has great merit." The text after that, although meaningful, was not in line with your theme like the rest of the paper was. Great job. 25 Robert, A number typos/spelling mistakes, and awkward grammar hurt the flow of your paper at times. You often added your own reactions (overwhelming, inspired), and these overpowered your proof that these stories had a common theme. Moreover, I'm not sure your theme was a theme or even that it worked for any story other than the first. No sources were cited. 30 Shelah, TERRIFIC introduction. Deep. Fine theme choice and terrific support of it made throughout the paper. Very good writing style as well. On this assignment, yours was the best paper in the class. 27 Ailiah, Thanks for being so emphatic in your opening paragraph in giving me your theme. Too many students seemed to keep theirs hidden... not good. I definitely agree with your story choices supporting your theme. In your first story, you conclude with "considered normal". I don't think the situation was normal, but it DID happen as told in this specific case. On a important note, concerning your 2nd story and the baby, you say that this "would (n)ever be accepted in today's society". Today's partial birth abortions and babies who survive botched abortions come to mind. You also conclude by talking about the value of human life in our "state of peace" today. To some, this perhaps is an oversimplification of the war/peace, humanity/atrocity theme. 28 Amy, 2nd sentence is VERY awkward/unclear. Unique theme and clever use/mix of stories. I do like how you are actually taking issue with the storytellers. That is the start to achieving a deeper level of analysis. I only got worried when in your conclusion, you state "just leads me to be unsure of any account of the book which differs from my original perspective." This sounds like you are saying that whatever you believed PRIOR to coming in contact with the information in this course (the Appy book specifically), is "good enough" because everything else is biased. That wouldn't be a logical conclusion. What would be a much better conclusion would be that you, personally, have much more work to do when trying to really understand what happened in history. We all do. 24 Lacie, Cite your sources. (page number and text for Ho Chi Minh quote, etc.) I'm not sure how your entire 1st paragraph on Theiu's booby traps support your "blind" theme. You wrote "President Johnson, not present in the conflict, made all the decisions for the U.S. troops in Vietnam." This is simply not true and is oversimplified. You had the JCS and Westmoreland making day-to-day decisions. Your focus on Harlan Pinkerton's story supported your theme well. But the rest of your paragraph spends too much time trying to prove another point, not related to this assignment. "The American soldier could have won without government interference." (see your conclusion as proof of this) Entire books have been written on this topic, something you should avoid in a simple, weekly journal entry. Your last paragraph gets back on track nicely with attention to the "blind" theme. 30 April, Thanks for being so emphatic in your opening paragraph in giving me your theme. Too many students seemed to keep theirs hidden... not good. Nice intro and outside work. Very well written. Clear theme and terrific support. Nice citations. Picky stuff?? 1st paragraph you wrote, "the thread that is looked over for most;" AWK... "overlooked" perhaps? Write the history/Appy account parts in past tense. Last story was a bit weak on the "human" theme. First two example clearly identified BOTH sides as humans, the same. Last story focuses on the optimism of one old Vietnamese man. Now, if the surgeon had also been optimistic... 27 Driana, You wrote "he was prejudiced against". I think you meant he was discriminated against. Later, you wrote "his incredible act of protest for the war." Against the war? Nice job overall, but your "peace theme" was weakest in your last example. Read the end of the story where Hoa supported the punishment of her captors after the war. Also, cite your sources. eg. (Appy p.230) 27 Michael, I take it your theme was "paradoxes", although not clearly explained in your opening paragraph. Only your 3rd sentence on Schell's story hints at the paradox... treatment of SV villagers (who we were supposed to help) ended up hating us for it. A mistake is that you have the U.S. and the South Vietnamese Government as synonymous. We have been studying that complex relationship since Diem in 1954. Even later in your paper, during Hoa's story, you wonder whether U.S. troops participated in the "tiger cages", but show no evidence for that suspicion. Is your last sentence a real question, or are you referring to the very end of the Hoa interview where she definitively answers your question? 25 Jared, You wrote, "It seems like an expensive and cowardly way to fight a war." No proof provided. The textbook DOES provide support for you expensive claim (although not cited in your paper). "Cowardly way to fight a war" is all your own, but lacks development or support. It is simply stated as fact. I'm guesssing the entire US Air Force would have to disagree with you assessment. In your conclusion, you stray from your chosen theme of Bombs Away. You wrote "War sucks! The way it starts, the way it is fought, and the way it ends, it all sucks." This is cliche and not the most academically infused position or linguistically convincing claim. Also, cite your sources. eg. (Appy p.230)