27 Shannon, Awkwardly stated theme in first sentence. I guessing the theme is resistance. You wrote: it seems to be an American concept to protect the right to fight only when necessary. I am not aware of this American concept, as you put it. You conclude the paragraph with: To me, it shows that one's convictions about something can't always be ordered out of them, even if it means jail, ridiculment, or anything else. This is strange on two fronts. Convictions aren't "ordered out" of people. They have them, and they either stick to them or not. And you mention jail and ridicule, but neither happened to General Baker in your account. This sentence in your 2nd paragraph was difficult to comprehend. ...but I think he probably wanted the war to end on both sides, it wasn't for either, but for an end. Your final paragraph almost supports "sacrifice" as your theme instead of resistance. Overall, fine effort. 30 Mark, What can I say? You are an accomplished writer. Excellent job. If I was to offer a single idea, it would be to consider changing your original "theme" of dying a little inside, (which is accurate, but a little colloquial) to perhaps "a small loss of humanity" or "losing humanity". What do you think? Am I capturing what you were after? Regardless, I got what you were after. Nice work. 25 Jason The final line of your first paragraph: A war that left hard scars in the social conscience of both the U.S and Vietnam peoples. is not a sentence. Also, I didn't see you propose a clear cut theme for your story choices. Was it "scarring the social conscience"? Then, in each of your story choices, you were much too brief to prove or support your theme. Each paragraph is only 3 or 4 sentences each. 30 Cory, Fine theme choice and terrific support of it made throughout the paper. Very good writing style as well. A pleasure to read. 29 Jennifer, MANY typos/spelling mistakes that hurt the flow of your paper. Fine theme, although you often added your own reactions that were in contrast to what the storytellers did. You may have been able to have "selflessness" as a theme. These people did things to help others during war, and these selfless acts would have be really difficult for you (and me) to do. 30 Charles, Very well written and supported paper. You did a fine job showing that each person in each story "found themselves or their calling" during the war. And you did so with 3 story choices that were a pretty unique "non-combination" for this assignment. No other student chose these three stories to complete in one paper. Nice. 25 Christen, Your paper started fine, and I thought you chose a good theme. But you should re-read your last paragraph. You come to a conclusion that is a bit different from your "divided vs united" theme. It focuses on the "united" part only, and only 2 sentences in your Vu Thi Vinh paragraph were all you had to support it. Then, in each of your story choices, your paragraphs were much too brief to prove or support your theme. 30 Andrew, Unique theme and clever use/mix of stories. Like you, I too enjoy seeing humor in things, such as the elements you described in these accounts... even the last one, which took some closer reflection. Well done. 27 Cynthia, First, always write history in past tense. Second, there was no introduction paragraph explaining your theme. I know we spoke about "life by the trail", and you apparently settle on "memories with the trail". Your paper was more a simple narrative of what each Vietnamese person did while on the trail rather than tying them together. Indeed, each speaker mentioned the Ho Chi Minh trail, two who worked on it and one who wanted to destroy it. What would have helped would have been statements such as why or how Vu Hy Thieu and Nguyen Thi Kim Chuy "believed in" or supported the trail so much. You certainly provide those reasons for why Walt Rostow hated it so much. Make sense? 29 John, So, you chose the soldier's struggle as your theme, but included two accounts by American women, a nurse and flight attendant. Interestingly, you were able to make your points well enough, even though you could have selected any number of American soldier accounts. Whether you did this on purpose or not, or whether you were giving yourself a challenge, you did it well. Also, I take it you were treating Truong My Hoa as a North Vietnamese Soldier as well when you mention POW's. I could have used more explanation of her and your idea of the "soldier status" for the Viet Cong. 30 Patrick, What can I say? You are an accomplished writer. Excellent job developing your theme. AND THEN you took the analysis to another, deeper, more rich level when discussing Nguyen Thi Kim Chuy's ultimate motive or Sylvia Lutz Holland's questioning the quality of life of some of the soldiers they saved. On this assignment, yours was the best paper in the class. 28 Matthew, I'm not sure your first paragraph presented your theme, and your entire second paragraph was not a complete sentence. Completing your paper, I cannot come to a single theme. Part of me wants to say "telling the truth" as the first and third stories do. The second story seems to be one of boosting morale. Re-reading your first paragraph, is your theme "volunteers in harm's way". If so, I guess this would work. (Although how was Duong Thanh Phong a volunteer?) It just wasn't clear from the start. 27 Brian, You write exert... do you mean excerpt? Your personal beliefs and thoughts on the war are very clear, but this assignment was not about using three stories to justify or prove that the U.S. should have won the war. These stories do a fine job illustrating your theme of "incompetence". But to go off topic and try to write a paper that proves we could have won the war is overstepping the assignment. I hope this makes sense to you. In addition, I agree with your points about incompetence in these stories. And there are THOUSANDS more stories to support U.S. incompetence in this war, both on the part of our government, and yes, even on the part of some, a minority, of our soldiers. Can I correctly assume that you saw some of this incompetence on your tours in Iraq, not only at the Washington DC level, but closer to your immediate assignment? And both of us will have to watch and see what will eventually happen in Iraq. Historically, we do know what happened in Vietnam. 30 Wow Kevin, What can I say? You are an accomplished writer. Excellent job. I think you may be on to a masters or doctoral thesis here with your chosen theme. It is the most unique in all the years I've taught this course at Lane. Moreover, your support is just fabulous. 30 Alex, Very well written. Clear theme and terrific support. Nice citations. 30 Kohl, Very well written. Clear theme and terrific support. Nice citations. I was not clear of your theme after reading your first paragraph, but your stories seemed to support the "Vietnamese Patriotism" angle, correct? 25 Gina, Organization seems to be an overall problem with your paper. I'm not sure how your third paragraph supports your theme "America becoming divided". And only because I'm a historian can I read past what little you wrote on Julian Bond to see your "divided" theme there. I'm not sure how it is expressed in your Helen Tennant paragraph. Basically, in each of your story choices you were much too brief to prove or support your theme. The idea of "division in America" is not adequately developed, and your final paragraph seems to focus on fear, sadness, and regret. 30 Kelly, I agree with you. I can't comprehend going through these events myself. I'd like to think we could both "rise to the occasion" should it present itself, but still..... Upon finishing your paper, perhaps "empathy" or even "awakening" could have been your theme. Nice job overall. 30 Traci, Thanks for being so emphatic in your opening paragraph in giving me your theme. Too many students seemed to keep theirs hidden... not good. Very well written. Clear theme and terrific support.