Hello Tracy,

Thank you for contacting us as references for Bill Burrows' custody evaluation. Bill had originally informed us that we would be meeting you in person for an interview.  We are happy to answer your questions via email, but realize that the answers will, by nature of the medium, be much briefer than they may have been in a face-to-face meeting.  If you need any more information than we have provided here, please do not hesitate to ask.

1.
I (Joe) met Bill when I began working at LCC in 1995.  But it was around 1998 that our "family" friendship began, at the birth of our first daughter and the birth of his son.  They had given us the child car seat that Laurel had outgrown, which we gladly returned to them upon hearing their surprising good news that Liz was pregnant with Ben.

2.
Since 1998, our families have spent time with each other on an increasing basis as our kids have grown older. In more recent years, we've been attending potluck dinners together, several times each year, held at various locations, such as our own homes and the homes of friends we have in common.  It has been almost two years since Liz has been in attendance at these functions; therefore, we have been quite out of touch with her.

3.
This question regarding concerns for full custody is perhaps the easiest question to answer. Simply put, we have no concerns whatsoever with Bill having full custody of his children.  In fact, if we didn't have so many family siblings ourselves, we'd gladly ask Bill to serve as the guardian of our own children should something happen to the both of us.

Before this pending divorce, we may certainly have been naive or blind to the warning signs around us.  We have since learned of a real problem with Liz and alcohol.  At our potlucks, few attendees drank, but there was always beer or wine on hand.  At a gathering about three years ago, we first learned that Liz was responsible for bringing these drinks.  We also observed that she was rather loud at these gatherings, but simply thought that was her personality (in stark contrast to Bill's quiet demeanor).  Again, we simply didn't make any connections that this drinking or behavior were connected problems.  In all fairness to Liz, the problems between her and her children (that have apparently existed for years) we have learned about through others. So we have not ourselves witnessed any abuse or neglect by her towards her children.  But if only 1 in 10 of these accounts are true, then we have very grave concerns about Liz being awarded full custody of her children.

4.
Please permit us to be so bold and give you the secret to being a good parent... that is, put your children first, in everything you do.  We do this with our own two girls, Hannah and Cassidy.  As a result, they are the most compassionate and loving children any parent could hope for.  When we see them next to their own peers, we receive daily confirmation that we are raising them well.  They are a joy to be around.  When many parents "celebrate" the return to school in the fall, my wife and I dread the loss of time with our kids.  In short, our strong connection with Bill (and one that grows closer every year) is due to the fact that he feels the same way about his own children, valuing every precious moment he gets to spend with them.  We have often found it difficult to have close friendships with the parents of our children's friends, mainly because they do not have this basic, but most important bond within their own families.  To Bill, there is no sacrifice too great to make on behalf of his children.  We feel the same way about our own.

5.
Without a doubt, it is in the best interest of Laurel and Ben to award full custody to Bill. We could not, in good conscience, recommend awarding full custody to a parent who doesn't feel compelled to put the needs of her children first.  Bill wants what is best for his children.  He is willing to make whatever sacrifices are necessary to that end.  You have spoken to Bill already.  He has been making those sacrifices for many years already.  Liz, on the other hand, is failing to admit that she has any problems when it comes to her own life, whether that be to seek counseling for alcohol or anger management issues, let alone the consequences that her actions are having on her own children.

Tracy, we are certainly hoping that this divorce case is a relatively unique and refreshing one for you to investigate.  For once, the water is transparent and clear, instead of being cloudy.  Instead of two spouses trying to "get back" at each other in a divorce by using their kids, one has, without a doubt, put the needs of his children above all else.  Instead of trying to get the better financial "deal" in the settlement, one has stated openly that the money just doesn't matter, and he is upholding those words with actions.  Bill just wants what is best for his children, and should most definitely be awarded full custody.  And even then, he knows the children love their mother and will let them see, visit, or stay with her, any time they want.  When one of the two parties in a divorce offers all of this, how can the answer not be a clear one.  

We wish you the best in your continued work and hope and pray that all of your future cases include a Bill, a parent who puts the needs of the children first, in everything they do... always.

Sincerely,

Joe and Patsy Escobar