Hi: Marital Power does seem to be determined in some families by earning power. The husband and wife can both work the same hours at different industrial production jobs, with the man making more at his job then hers. Because the man makes more he justifies his lack of participation in caring for the household cooking, cleaning, minding kids etc etc. because he earns more even though both work equally as hard. The only way that a woman can get some men to do anything around the house is if they come intoa marriage having more earning power, then the man is almost forced to listen to the woman. Also, a man may justify not doing anything in the house if he's working full time making most of the money and the woman is only going to school part time, working part time and doing practically all of the childcare, housecare etc. The man in this case sees the woman as having it easy, that taking care of a household, caring for kids, going to school part time and working part time is a piece of cake, is a luxury almost. Well, taking care of a household and caring for kids etc. etc. is a lot of work. It's an insult to a woman to hear these things.
A man would have to pay a good chunk of his salary for childcare and for a cook and housekeeper!
If a woman decides to take a few days off from caring for the household, kids, cooking etc., she can't! The husband's not going to step in and take care of things. The house will be a mess, the kids won't get cared for and won't eat well. The husband won't cook for himself. He'll get sick because he didn't eat enough and only drank coffee and smoked ciggarettes. This will put him in a worse state, in addition to the already horrid state he's already in , for the most part, because of high job dissatisfaction.
The husband pulls away from the family further and further obsessed with having a computer business of his own so he doesn't have to work at a job he can't stand.
So, the husband works all day at a job he can't stand and all night on his computer business. The wife and kids and the husband interact very little, or just here and there. Sometimes doing things together, but at a minimum. The husband and wife are further seperated because they don't have any time together alone to spend happily with eachother, but always having to care for a young infant child.
The husband and wife do seem to interact less and less on a regular basis and fill their quality family time with entertainment, consumerism, etc. And or course work and school constantly too. Parents, then kids especially when they're older spend less time interacting and really talking. The family can still have bonds of love and support but also have to deal with lots of stresses and tensions because of not having enough time, money, or energy for themselves and eachother. The family is more isolated because of our society's construct of private individual units instead of more community oriented living and interacting,like our text mentioned. The family can also be more remote and removed from getting their needs and wants met when they don't have a good strong network of close friends or family nearby. Or, if their friends and families are always too busy themselves to have the time to socialize.
What does this family do. Everyone in this family just does the best they can. Tries to make the best of the situation and have a good attitude. Does this family go to family counseling? Probably not, one or the other spouse will probably not have the time, money, energy, or interest in going. Does the woman in this family balk and balk about the injustices and inequalities of gender in society and in her family? Yes. I think it's her responsibility to keep speaking up about the injustices, stand her ground, and work for equal, mutual, just understandings. I think it's her responsibility to work towards positive changes within her family structure that will benefit the entire family. I think that it's the man's responsibility to listen to her and make the positive changes that will benefit the entire family. I think that in many families men need to grow up, be mature, and act like adults instead of another child to tend to. A woman needs a mature man for a partner and a husband, parent for her child, not another kid. The man can be palyful and youthful but needs to be responsible and respectful in relations with wife and caring for the house and kids as well as working. Let's face it, in today's world generally both parents have to work as well as care for the kids and household. I think adults/parents need to work together equally and mutaully to achieve their family goals, in all areas. I don't think that certain jobs should be called a man's job or a woman's job but family responsibilities that need to be taken care of mutually and equally in home and work, by both mature adults/parents. I'm sick of old fashioned outdated structure of our society which still favors patriarchy and white privieledge. I'm glad people are waking up to this joke and creating happy families with structures that suit their own unique family instead of trying to follow some narrow, tunnel vision, stereotyped structure of family. I wish more people would wake up and think for themselves, and create families of love which make sense for each certain family. Everyone needs to positively benefit from family equally and mutually in good ways. No more someones better and someones worse. No more one persons superior while the other is inferior, no more one person's dominant and the other's subserviant. No more master and servant. PLease!! No more one person excells and grows and gets postive accolades while the other doesn't. No more one person succeeds at the expense of another who doesn't. This stuff has to stop. Their are good ways to have healthy competition and challenges which help everyone grow without haivng all this inequality, injustices, etc. I'm more in favor of compassionate cooperatives myself. Most who have experienced injustices are in favor of differnt better systems/structures, positive changes.
Thanks, Shaunasi