Dear Kim: I like how you and your husband run your family. I think it's great that you share responsibilities in good healthy effective ways, which work well.
Our text spoke about many families who follow predetermined gender roles. I don't like predetermined gender roles. I think they are limiting and can cause much uneccessary tensions and stresses. I think that when two mature adults come together that they need to work together to accomplish the daily household responsibilities and monetary work responsibilities in good ways that work. I think some people spend too much time and energy bitching about who does what, or trying to get out of doing something, or wasting time and not getting anything done, when both people could be making better use of their time and energy by just getting the stuff done which needs to be done. Many men are very nuturing, are good cooks, and good housekeepers, and many women are good mechanics, construction workers, doctors, lawyers and the such. It is unfortunate I think to deny a person their interests and try to squeeze them into a role which they don't fit into. A great number of people have a blend of interests both domestic and not. I think everyone ought to just work together to accomplish all the work that needs to be done and encourage and support one another in all our good positive interests. Trying to force people into roles, then reinforcing and enforcing these roles to the detriment and distain of so many is wrong. I think that when this forcing goes on, that people are going to object and have problems with this. Look at our divorce rate!
The Order Model is saying that people ought to just follow these rules without question, and that if people don't follow the rules/roles without question then they are a problem, but they Order Model doesn't think that the system, the rules and roles set up are wrong, but only the people who don't agree with them are wrong.
The Conflict Model is saying that the people that disagree with the rules/roles without question are not the problem but that the system; that the rules/roles themselves may be what's wrong, what the problem is. The Conflict Model encourages people to question whether the rules/roles, the system/structure is perhaps faulty, corrupt, unjust, unrealistic, impractical, ineffective, or wrong. I definitely agree with the Conflict Model in that I think it's good to question the structure/system, rules/roles to see what may be wrong with the system, to see where good positive changes could be made, rather than just blaming an individual as the problem for not blindly going along with a system, without question.
I think that it's important while questioning the system etc. that people be respectful, grateful, gracious, and positively acknowledge the good in the system, the ways that people positively benefit and reap the good rewards they have gained through following the system. I think this attitude of respect is important.
I think that their is much anger frustrations and bitterness resentments etc. people hold towards the way the system is and this energy needs to be channeled or used in good ways to make good changes instead of leading to further corruption danger, unhappiness, etc.
I think that people need to be brave and stand up for what right, what we learn is truly right. People need to find ways to address wrongs in ways which make sense to each person. Wrongs need to be addressed and changed for the better. The sooner, the better.
Signed, Shaunasi